I always enjoy reading OSC's OSC Reviews Everything - but this latest article tops them all. He just has such insight into toilet paper- it brought a refreshing breath into this topic. Thanks OSC!
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
Best. Column. Ever.
Posted by soccersprout91 (Member # 8207) on :
heh...i loved this week's column too.
Because, honestly - if you were going to read an article about the merits of various toilet papers...wouldn't you want it to be by OSC?
Posted by kojabu (Member # 8042) on :
Posted by BryanP (Member # 7772) on :
I can't say I thought I'd ever see a column by OSC on toilet paper.....
And, dammit, I still wanna know what he thinks of Half-Blood Prince!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by BryanP (Member # 7772) on :
This reminds me of something I read in Magic Street: is urine really sterile? OSC told me, and so did Brad Pitt in a PSA on the Fight Club DVD. Two celebrities telling me urine is sterile....they surely can't be lying, can they?
Posted by Stone_Wolf_ (Member # 8299) on :
quote:Normal urine is sterile. It contains fluids, salts, and waste products, but it is free of bacteria, viruses, and fungi.
Give it a few years and someone will come out with "Urineaid", flavor packets to add to your own urine to make it more palletable.
Posted by kojabu (Member # 8042) on :
Yea, don't they refilter it out in space or something? At least they did in the movie Apollo 11....
Posted by Stone_Wolf_ (Member # 8299) on :
quote: The three primary wastewater sources aboard manned spacecraft are: 1) humidity condensate, 2) hygiene waters, and 3) urine...Urine, in general, contains high concentrations of dissolved salts and lower levels of excreted organic metabolic byproducts. Urea, the primary water soluble product of nitrogen metabolism, may occur in significant quantity. Urea hydrolyses to form ammonia and carbon dioxide.
quote: Current phase change technology for the reclamation of water from urine and other brines is represented by two processes: the Air Evaporation System used aboard the Mir, and Vapor Compression Distillation (VCD) to be used aboard ISSA.
OSC didn't mention my favorite type of TP, Kleenex Cottonelle (with ripples) which is by far the best type.
Posted by Verily the Younger (Member # 6705) on :
Robert Fulghum wrote a piece on that. I can't remember which book it was in, but he explained that urine from a healthy person is not only sterile, but actually good for you; apparently there are large numbers of people in India who drink their own urine every day, and they get sick less and look younger.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Sounds like this is a review we can all get behind.
Posted by TheSeeingHand (Member # 8349) on :
Where might I ask can we find this column?
Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
OK, so can I just say this? Eat more fiber, drink more water, there will be less need for sitting around doing crossword puzzles and "waiting for nature to take its course." Umm, not to mention less work for said toilet paper.
I'm all for Charmin myself! Posted by Goo Boy (Member # 7752) on :
Dag, don't be an ass.
Posted by sands (Member # 8344) on :
who folds their toilet paper? never heard of anyone doing that before.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Oh poo, Goo Boy.
Posted by Gryphonesse (Member # 6651) on :
quote:Originally posted by Icarus: Best. Column. Ever.
Ditto that. For the record, altho we have three cats and a dog, the paper MUST be over the top. I'll even flip the roll when I go to someone else's house. How else can you do the one-handed slap-roll-and-yoink to get the perfect amount of paper dispensed? And wadding is the only way to go. We use whatever one has the bear crapping in the woods theme.
Posted by CRash (Member # 7754) on :
Isn't that the cha-cha-cha...Charmin! commercial? Those bears are so annoying! Especially the one with the glasses.
But we buy Charmin anyway, of course.
Posted by sands (Member # 8344) on :
canadian toilet paper is good too.
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
Actually, it seems like Mr. Card has a recent fascination with the processes of bodily elimination...
..at least it sure seemed that way to me when I read Magic Street.
..and now a column on toilet paper. (It was hilarious, I have to admit).
FG
Posted by Brian J. Hill (Member # 5346) on :
<wipes tears from eyes>
Wow. Funniest OSC column ever. Especially if you remember the hatrack thread that started it off. Now, nobody can accuse OSC of bringing up the rear guard anymore.
Posted by xtownaga (Member # 7187) on :
The timing of this column is incredible. I just moved into the dorms at college (class of '09 ) to find the paper here is the thin horrible kind you see in all public bathrooms. I'm not sure why I expected better... I mean the bathroom is at least somewhat public (the hall shares it), but still... more or less thin and useless. So just a few short hours after I find this out I see the column... probably not another time in my life I'd appriciate it more... for whatever that's worth.
Posted by Soara (Member # 6729) on :
out from under. definately out from under. Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
Over the top so you can easily find where the roll ends.
-o-
I think that people who are responsible for toilet paper decisions for institutions such as places of employment, schools, stores, whatever, ought to be forced to have whatever brand they choose in their homes as their personal toilet paper. Think of it as a perk: tey should just be able to take it home and never pay for personal toilet paper--but it must be that same brand.
Similarly, people who have toilet paper dispensers installed that have that little peg that makes it so that you can only get one quare at a time ought to have those installed in their homes as well.
-o-
quote:who folds their toilet paper? never heard of anyone doing that before.
I do.
Posted by Treason (Member # 7587) on :
quote: who folds their toilet paper? never heard of anyone doing that before. I do.
I do too! And it has to be over the top. That way, it's not touching the wall all the time. (I don't know why the tp touching the wall bothers me so much. Is the wall that dirty?) Posted by Jeffers0n (Member # 7876) on :
xtownaga:
After living in a dorm for awhile, you get used to it, and then when you go back home it feels like heaven.
Posted by macnewbold (Member # 7660) on :
xtownaga: (and others suffering from from sub-standard T.P.)
Try printing out a copy or three of the toilet paper review, and leaving several copies in the shared bathroom where people will pick up a copy to read.
Maybe one day someone will get the hint...
Posted by CRash (Member # 7754) on :
...Or use the printed-out review as toilet paper.
(It's probably softer than the stuff that's there!)
Posted by Irregardless (Member # 8529) on :
On the over vs. under issue, I advise the use of a free-standing paper dispenser which holds the roll in a *vertical* configuration -- sort of like this, only with a more stable base:
Of course, you still have to pick clockwise or counterclockwise...
Posted by Orson Scott Card (Member # 209) on :
Stone Wolf, I tried Cottonelle and was unimpressed. And since it isn't one of the Big Two (ironic name, that) I left it out. But de gustibus non disputandam. If it's your favorite, go for it!
Folding gives better control and leads to less waste and fewer accidents that require long antibacterial handwashing episodes. I'm sad that the art of folding toilet paper into reliable, controllable pads has so obviously been lost. Apparently parents are not doing their job of training children in the proper use of nether hygiene materials.
Posted by Papa Moose (Member # 1992) on :
<- Folds toilet paper.
And Ugandan toilet paper is apparently the same brand as Brazilian. Still superior to the individual squares of wax paper I remember from primary school, though.
Posted by Goo Boy (Member # 7752) on :
quote:Apparently parents are not doing their job of training children in the proper use of nether hygiene materials.
I admit I have failed at this. Posted by DarkKnight (Member # 7536) on :
I apologize in advance for the potty mouth.....
One of my favorte jokes that I learned about US Navy issue toilet paper... We always called it John Wayne paper because it's tough as nails and don't take sh*t off no one...
Posted by Will B (Member # 7931) on :
This is a topic best put behind us.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
What I don't get is how someone who claims to clean his ass the exact same way that I do can write those awful World Watch columns!
Maybe I should try this "clumping."
[ August 24, 2005, 02:28 PM: Message edited by: Icarus ]
Posted by Orson Scott Card (Member # 209) on :
But then ... you have those awful World Watch columns that you can use to clean your ass ...
So it all comes out right in the end.
Posted by Boon (Member # 4646) on :
Regarding the over/under issue, we've solved it permanently at our house. We have a free-standing dispenser that holds TWO rolls! One of each! Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Heh.
We have a cat that shreds toilet paper. I'm not talking puts it all over the floor, I'm talking shreds it in little tiny pieces.
The TP lives in the cabinet by the toilet. In easy reach for those of us with opposable thumbs, but out of reach of those with just claws.
And we find that Target brand "deluxe" paper works just fine-- cushy enough for sensitive heinies, but not so expensive as to break the bank.
I just am not sure what we're going to do when Ems starts potty-training. Teach her to get it out before she goes and put it back afterwards, I suppose. Or else use flushable wipes we can keep on the floor or counter by the toilet, in easy reach for her.
Posted by Boon (Member # 4646) on :
Cheap, non-lotioned kleenex work fine, and dissolve in water fine. May be worth a try.
Posted by Ziusudra (Member # 8601) on :
<- Obsessive-Compulsive Folder
Posted by forensicgeek (Member # 8430) on :
I just have to say that I really enjoyed this article...I can never look at TP the same way again!
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![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
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) to find the paper here is the thin horrible kind you see in all public bathrooms. I'm not sure why I expected better... I mean the bathroom is at least somewhat public (the hall shares it), but still... more or less thin and useless. So just a few short hours after I find this out I see the column... probably not another time in my life I'd appriciate it more... for whatever that's worth.
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