Oh, and if you are new, feel free to post any questions you might have.

1. Check the first few pages for topics before posting a new one. We have discussed pretty much everything under the sun, so the topic you think is so new and revelatory may have already been talked into the ground. Revising an older topic is always preferable to starting a new one.
2. Starting a topic on the Ender’s Game movie and who should play Ender will garner you some hostile remarks from the regulars. Rest assured, if there is any news about the movie a notice will be posted and you will be able to hear about it.
3. Lurking for a while is a good thing. Yes, we all know the temptation to jump in and post right away. But truly, I promise it will go better if you lurk for a while and get the lay of the place and a feel for how things work.
4. A few of us have been here for a while, and know each other fairly well. Because of that there are quite a few inside jokes that you may not get. That’s okay – when you’ve been here long enough you can have inside jokes of your own. Likewise, some “old-timers” may post insulting things about each other – it’s all in fun, and because there’s enough familiarity there to make it okay.
5. Religion comes up on this forum quite a bit. There are people of very diverse faiths here, and naturally people feel very strongly about this issue. Discussing your own beliefs in the context of responding to a thread, or providing information is fine. What is not fine is espousing your beliefs for the purpose of trying to convert anyone. In fact, that is specifically prohibited by the rules of the sight. Ridiculing others for their beliefs is another no-no. They have a right to believe what they wish, just as you do.
6. Vigorous disagreements on all kinds of things is common here, and in fact it’s the lifeblood of the forum. No one appreciates a heated debate more than hatrackians. But in the spirit of those heated debates, do not sink to the level of personally insulting or ridiculing others.
7. Some of us like to play silly games. That’s our perogative. If you think it’s silly don’t open those particular threads just to post a message that tells us we’re silly. We know that. You will be soundly trounced for interrupting our game to tell us something we already know.
8. Don’t curse. Some words are okay, if used in context. Ex: “Don’t Christians believe in hell?” is acceptable. The “F” word is never appropriate.
9. You can edit your post if there is something else you’d like to add, of if you spot a grammatical or spelling mistake. Editing is always better than a double post. If you do double post accidentally, you can also use the edit/delete function to delete the post. If your post is the first one in a thread, then deleting it will delete the entire thread.
10. Most of all, just treat others as you’d like to be treated, and you’ll be good to go.
    

[This message has been edited by Aelysium (edited February 01, 2002).]
 

If you post something and you don't get replied to, don't feel dejected. You are not being ignored. People either agree with you or don't have anything to add. People will mostly reply only when discussing something or arguing something. So basically people have to disagree with you for you to hear from them.

Unless your post is just so wonderful that people feel the need to commend and praise you on your great post.

Also Perelendra will tell you he is the king of links. Don't believe him. I am the king of links.
 

Human
 

Aelysium
WHo hopes
 

If you want to be elusively intriguing, call yourself "Dobie2."
 

Human

PS: Just kidding, Ael!

 

quote:

---

I thought that it might be appropriate to update it and start a new one...Revising an old topic is always better than starting a new one.

---

[This message has been edited by dspeyer (edited February 02, 2002).]
 

Maybe we should add a caveat: Unless it is the first page that is important and the thread gets over three pages long.
 

If you wish to use smilies, you can read the legend to see how to make the various smilies. But I encourage you to read all the statements on that page, including:

quote:

---

Use your smilies sparingly, though-- if overused, smilies can be downright annoying.

---

Edit: okay, on a serious note, these are MY FAQ's. I want to know why people act the way they do, and if Hatrack is typical of online forums, and if not, why is it different. Anyone? anyone know?

[This message has been edited by katharina (edited February 01, 2002).]
 

Jatraqueros looks better, sounds better- if you were to ask Slash, I'm sure he'd say they taste better too.
 

Justin its just that my wild and vapid claims are true.

<edited for typos.>

[This message has been edited by HollowEarth (edited February 11, 2002).]
 

Begone, you deceased equine!

Be prepared, newbies, for people to create evil clone identities just for the sake of making what they think are amusing statements.
 

When someone bumped up that old FAQ thread, I wanted to post that it was getting a little dated, but that would have just brought it back up to the top, wouldn't it have?

Aside to Moose: I stand up firmly for my right to use plentiful smilies in my posts.

~your friend, Ela

(NOT Ele - where is she, btw?)

 

edit: I have more I want to say on this subject but I don't want to have to repost....

edit: Someone posted something telling and/or pertinent after me so now I have to revise what I just said...

edit: I need to add greater comedic value and/or a smilie...

edit: I'm a stupid person who can't spell, but since I just admitted it I've now constructed an intricate defense strategy that prevents anyone from being able to call me on it.

See? That's why we itemize our edits.
 

Were we all just a little more like you...

Dont make me tear you a third one.

 

*shurgs*
Guess it doesn't matter.
 

This thread is helpful; I was especially wondering about starting a new thread vs. bringing back an old one. So thanks, all.
 

[This message has been edited by esl (edited May 06, 2002).]
 

For Samantha1013 to post an introduction for herself!

 

Have a good night
 

Just curious...you posted on another thread that you go to an X-Files forum. Which forum would that be?

~Jane~
 

I go to the X-Files forum on the Official Site. Have you been there?

Great to meet you!

~Samantha1013
 

Just for the heck of it.
 

Also, I'm on Hatrack spinoffs... and in the chat alot.

So... am I a newbie or not??
 

Something to add to the list:
12. Reading people's profiles may help you understand more about them and don't be afraid to add stuff to your own. (the profile is the button that has a face and a ? mark.) Here's mine.

P.S. Stay away from the whole Apple vs. Microsoft thing...unless of course you're pro-Mac.

[This message has been edited by Dr. Mobius (edited July 13, 2002).]
 

PS im sorry if i insulted anyone by saying that christianity is flawed.

i guess some of you might be waiting for my proof of Islam, ill be posting that soonish i hope, as soon as i can put all my arguments together in a readable form. i dont go onto the net often, so it might take some time for me to reply to the counter-arguments presented, so dont think im ignoring you if i dont reply immediately.
 

I would also like to add, in serious threads, some people will get really upset if you don't use proper grammar and spelling.

In silly threads, if you mention it, you will get laughed off the block.
 

Ni!
 

Don't get on Leto's and Paul's bad side.

Err...Idk if I should consider myself still a newbie..
 

1) Petition said council for special dispensation. Warning: This route will invariably require heroic acts of self-sacrifice and humilation in service of the council. Make no mistake, you will be called on to break the laws of both God and man. You will plumb the depths of human depravity. You will go tricycling with albino kelp farmers. You will wrestle penguins just to perserve a shred of the life you once knew. If you choose this route, be prepared for a constant stuggle with the forces of darkness to hold onto your heart, mind, and soul. The only good thing about option 1 is that it is by far the easiest of the three paths.

2) You can kill an non-newbie and thus take their place. Back in the early days of the forum, this was the preferred method of advancement. On any given weekend, save holidays, a good 12% of the population would be shuffled off this mortal coil. However, the years of infighting have led to a darwian survival of the fittest situation. Those who are left are the roughest, toughest, meanest bunch of paranoid freaks you'd ever run as fast as you can away from and we've had years to perfect our defenses. My sources tell me that Advice for Robots has recently upgraded from the T800 to the T1000 "liquid metal" model. David Bowles lives in a huge fortress in the depths of the Amazonian rainforest, surrounding by thousands of his fanatically devoted and supernaturally vigilant followers. Slash, after successfully arguing that there were no laws about it pertaining to lizardmen, has cloned himself at least 20 times. Each of these clones has killed and eaten an average of 45 people. Using a wildly unstable combination of millenia-old forbidden magics and the latest advances in post-quantam physics, the research team of Ralphie and Bob_Scopatz has developed the mental ability to reduce anywhere from 1 to 666 people instantly into a state of chuckling idiocy, from which no one has ever reemerged. I myself have taken to living as a parasitic spirit, jumping from body to body as it serves my needs and fancy. So, if you choose option 2, strap on some body armor, load up your weapons and come get some, you little punk.

3) This path lies obscured in the mists of time, attested to only by scraps of barely remembered legends and the frantic gibbering of madmen. Already, I have said too much and yet I feel strangely compelled to continue. I will remain strong. I will not falter. Do your own damn homework!!!

Choose your road newbie, but never say that I didn't warn you.
 

To befuddle the obfuscation, it simply takes time. Many people here have been here for a year or more.

You simply have to convince enough people that you not new, that you've always been here, and that you have staying power. That's all.
 

Remember, you cannot chew what you eschew!

 

I've posted relatively few times, but I'm sure I've ticked a number of you old-timers off on more than one occasion. Some intentional, some not. I am admittedly fairly outspoken.

That said, I will have to choose path number 2. I was raised in a family that did hunt, and I've always been somewhat good at it. Later in the Corps, and other military activities, I learned to use scopes and other fun things. (Slightly nervous about the metal in Leto's body, but that's his fault anyway.)
 

So, does this mean I get to stop being a newbie sooner?
 

[This message has been edited by sarfa (edited September 06, 2002).]
 

Ok...
 

As for countering math, especially considering my own minimal expertise in this area, I'd have to counter with napalm.

"Math hurtzsss, it burnzss!

[This message has been edited by Centurion (edited September 06, 2002).]
 

Creating my own topics, simply because I can. The moderator should deny access in that particular area for awhile, it's so easy to abuse.

I suppose my profile is a bit annoying. Since I spilt the beans about myself on my very first post. It's actually embarrassing for me to spread anymore honesty about myself now. I started with the truth and now I will slowly regress into a fuzzy little blur.

I'll try to be a better newbie from this point on.

Is this what confession feels like?

I'm almost certain that's a typo.

 

the king is dead ! long live the king !
 

Time till I leave on my mission: 1 year 8 months 2 days. (thats an estimate anyway)
 

Most of those around here don't mind a bit of fluff. And seem to be willing to forgive a n00b a few beginner mistakes. But I'd still be cautious of lizards in skirts if I were you.
 

Luckily, I was on vacation last week, so I tracked down some old legends I had heard about an ancient temple located somewhere in the Everglades. I was finally able to make contact with old Seminole Indian who supposedly had been there. Of course, he was mad and I could barely make out what he said for all the gibbering and drooling, but you take what you can get. I was a little surprised when he gave me the cooridinated for the temple, but apparently, the last time he went, he had one of the new luxury SUV's that has GPS installed.

My wife was rather upset when I told her that our vacation to the Bahamas was cancelled because I had to go to an ancient temple in the Everglades. I didn't really understand what the problem was. I mean, what would you choose - laying on the beach with a frozen cocktail or trekking through the swamp to face unspeakable terror?

Off I went. My Grand Cherokee only got me so far, but I was able to rent an airboat (those things are really loud BTW). I found the ancient temple with my trusty GPS and made my way down a long winding stair going deep into the bowels of the earth. Anyone who has ever tried to build a basement in Florida can understand the shocking amount of power that would take. I've been trying to find out if the Ancient Ones do any contracting work.

Anyhoo, I won't bore you with the details. I went down for hours with that creepy feeling going the whole way down. Found an ancient tome with the proper spells to become a Hatrack veteran. Had to dodge a few Shoggoths on my way out. Hair turned white because I had the bejesus scared out of me. I know what you Hatrack veterans are saying - been there, done that.

I got home and started the spell right up. I probably should have researched it a little more, but vacation was almost over so I was running out of time. Apparently the spell summoned one of the Great Old Ones (he told me his name, but I won't even try to spell it). He told me that Hatrack had evolved way beyond his powers and even he couldn't make be a veteran. And get this, then he tells me that because I had bothered him he was going to open a hole in our universe (kinda like the hole in the ozone, but not really) and suck our world into his so he could feed on it or something like that.

Then he said, "Just kidding" and left.

So all that work and I'm still just a newbie. Anyone want to buy a copy of the Book of Eibon before I put it up for sale on Ebay?

I was just about to declare you a veteran for giving me so much amusement. Then you had to go and ruin it with your attempt to use Hatrack to sell unwanted merchandise.

Rookie mistake.

heres the proof. one of them at least

http://www.hatrack.com/forums/old/main/t2.cgi?m=1003&t=1230

hehehe ;O)
 

This Newbie needs help!
 

Ha!

I have waded through TWO arguments with Baldar. You may henceforth address me as Jatraquero-Emeritus.

Or Methuselah. Your choice.
 

:bows head in shame - I am not worthy:

quote:

---

I have waded through TWO arguments with Baldar.

---

I'm thinking this implies a great accomplishment of sorts. Maybe when i'm 969 years old as you are O'Methuselah I will understand the battles you choose.

:bows again, and again:
 

(LOL. Just couldn't resist. )
 

:blushing:
 

Pixie has to be really busy, by now. Perhaps you could drop her a line and see if she needs help in that department.
 

#1- List 10 Jatraqueros who actually enjoy having Baldar on this forum.

#2- Why is David Bowles known as "Lil' Beefy"?

#3- If a train leaves from Baltimore, going south and traveling at 45mph, how many days should it take to get to Bob's lawn?

#4- Name all of Mr. Poyfair's alter-egos(and eggos).

#5- How do you raise a black boy?

#6- Give 10 reasons why the chicken crossed the road using 10 different Jatraqueros' styles.

#7- List your top 10 candidates for the role of Ender in the upcoming movie.

#8- Give either: The recipe for Belle's cookies or the exact lineage of Elrond, Lord of Rivendell.

#9- List the first 5 most likely people to post on a Mac-bashing thread.

#10- Create a sample thread containing the subjects "onanism", "abortion", "homosexuality", and "memes", then type the entire alphabet to prove that you didn't snort snot all over your keyboard in a futile attempt to make the above thread sound serious.

#11- Prove that Kama does exist.

#12- Tell why a spanking from Ralphie is better than being thumped by mack.

*waves hello to Val*