Ever get an idea for a really crappy superhero name/identity? I get those all the time. Here are a few I thought up. Also, a whole lot of them just make no sense.
Moderately Tall Man ManDude: The Sword of Islam The Naked Truth Constable Coercion The Vapid Vigilante Ventriloquist Pretty Uncomfortable Guy (Moderately Tall Man's sidekick, of course) The Tartan Terror of Topeka General Specific The Divine Equine The Garrulous Gimp
Etc, etc, you get the idea.
Posted by asQmh (Member # 4590) on :
I know a lady who writes the hilarious chronicles of Xetha - half Xena: Warrior Princess, half Martha Stewart. . . does that count?
Q.
Posted by The Wiggin (Member # 5020) on :
Wasn't Genral Specific a charecter in Sheep in the Big City on Cartoon Network?
[ August 07, 2003, 11:19 PM: Message edited by: The Wiggin ]
Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :
No idea. My friend mentioned that, he might have stolen that.
Posted by Zotto! (Member # 4689) on :
"This is a song about a superhero named Tony...it's called: Tony's theme!" *rocks out on guitar*
Anyone else listen to The Pixies?
Sorry. Go back to your regularly-scheduled thread. Posted by Xavier (Member # 405) on :
Just the last thirty seconds of Fight Club...
Movie nirvana .
Posted by Zotto! (Member # 4689) on :
I agree.
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
Hey!
Been tryin' to meet you!
Posted by Freakishly Strong Boy (Member # 4614) on :
Is this, like, a sign-up thread or something?
Posted by The Amazing Squirrel Boy (Member # 5158) on :
Count me in!
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
I once made up a character named Incendiary Man who had a special book of matches he could use skillfully as weapons. I don’t know what his thing would have been. Maybe his parents got killed in an arsonist’s fire and now he’s fighting fire with fire.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I love the song Particle Man by TMBG. In addition to Particle Man, there's Triangle Man, Person Man and Universe Man.
And an accordion.
But let's see if I can make up my own crappy hero:
Movie Man -- can sit through any film and instantly tell you what's wrong with it. Single-handedly destroys the enjoyment of everyone within earshot.
Forms Man -- the quitessential bureaucrat. Buries evildoers in mountains of red tape and forms. "Who was that masked man?" "I don't know, but he left this GSA 19.3-22 (Rev. 1/97)."
Midlife Crisis Man -- you can't really count on him, but he's got a fast car... if you're cute enough.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Super Dan He's just Cool.
The Taliban Man--has few recurring enemies since he alway stones, decapitates, mutilates, or cuts the hands off of evil doers, if not all of the above. His costume, Turban and Tights, no veil--he isn't femine.
Math Man--equipmed with his HP Calculator of Doom and his Light-sliderule, he zips across the world righting wrongs--well, mostly righting wrong answers. He has recently retired to a rest home. Friends say he was hearing imaginary numbers.
The Pill--no not that pill. THe Pill is a mysterious stranger who uses his vast knowledge of legal, but cutting edge pharmacopia to right wrongs, relax the stressed, and medicate the psychotic. In reality he is Joe Doe, the Pharmicist at a wal-greens near you.
Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :
Ah, a thread that makes a Tick fan proud! Now that was a show with some great superheroes/villains. American Maid, The Human Bullet (fire me boy!), Bi-Polar Bear (This is a job for Bi-Polar Bear! If only I could get out of bed...), Sewer Urchin, Chairface Chippendale, El Seed, The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight...and TAFT!
Good Times.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Please, let us not forget the already-made-up Crappy Super Heroes, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy from Spongebob.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Or, how about:
Lunchlady : Garbed in her hair net and clear plastic gloves,she defends the world armed with spoons full of mashed potatoes and squares of Jello.
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
One of my younger brothers 6 foot tall guy friends showed up to our Halloween party as the NINJA Lunch lady...so he was feeling the same vibe Elizabeth! Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Ha ha! I like the Ninja Lunchlady. Who would her evil nemesis be?
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
Mediocre Man - He can do anything!! He just can't do anything well...
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Almost Woman: She can get there to help...almost.
Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :
My personal favorite Tick hero was Sarcastro: he looked like castro, and he attacked his enemies with his razor sharp wit.
Him and Baby Boomerangoutang.
Posted by Fitz (Member # 4803) on :
My favorite hero is The Dude.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Oh, The Tick...why oh why did it end?
We watch Spongebob.
Spongebob, when Squidward was giving a speech to get the Krusty Krab workers to go on strike:
"I have no idea what Squidward is saying, but he sure sounds convincing..."
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
The PUN-isher. This diabolic do-gooder overwhelms his foes with forced low humor and witty repartee. Under his quick onslaught of terrible puns, the villians eventualy kill themselves rather than listen to any more of his prattl, or they laugh themselves to death.
One of the PUN-isher's jokes: Did you hear what happened to Captain Cookware. He got zapped by alien lightening, turning all his pots and pans into toasters and electric mixer. He has done such a good job defeating crime, they even gave him a promotion.
He was Captain Cookware. He is now.....
....
Major Appliance!!!
If he does well--and continues to get a charge out of battle, one day he may yet be....
General Electric!!!!!!
(ps Some claim his secret identity is Bob Scopatz)
Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :
The Dude is the Man, dude.
[ August 08, 2003, 03:10 PM: Message edited by: Book ]
Posted by Deirdre (Member # 4200) on :
Ooh, we were just talking about this!
Platitude Man: He fights evildoers with trite sayings like "Crime doesn't pay" and his trusty sidekick, Limerick Boy. I haven't figured out the technicalities of his superpower yet. (He's a work in progress.) But I think it would be really cool if he also had an archnemisis called The Sonneteer.
Pleather Girl: She wears lots of pleather. Also, I think she was like a vegan or something. We had a bunch of other stuff worked out, too, but I can't remember it right now.
Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :
Dan's reminds me of some of my favorite tech support calls. You know, "Who is this General Protection, and what did he do to my computer?".
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
Hehehe. I wrote a really lame story once about Mediocre Man and his sidekick, Bland Boy. Mediocre man wore a slate-gray suit and tie, Bland boy a gray t-shirt and slacks. ^-^
Posted by TwosonPaula (Member # 5511) on :
How about "Invisible Pants" ?
Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :
How about a superhero team called "The Punctual Patrol?" They wouldn't do much, but they'd always be on time. For whatever.
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
I misread Book's Punctual Patrol and read: Punctal Patrol. I guess they'd always be on the lookout for dry eyes.
Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :
Weird.... a section on Jeopardy is named Specific Generals...
Posted by Feyd Baron (Member # 1407) on :
Feyd Baron: The human landmark!
Posted by Sopwith (Member # 4640) on :
Sasquash: Crime fighting cross between Big Foot and a crook-necked squash. Bright yellow, rubberskinned and immensely strong.
The Wheeze: Asthmatic super speedster, breaks the speed of sound for very short distances.
The Peppier`: Mild mannered waiter support staffer by night, pepper mill wielding vigilante by later night (after sweeping up the bistro).
Torte-olini: Italian superhero specializing in tossing small fruit desserts.
Montgolfier Man: Inventor of the most powerfully armed hot air balloon in the world. He'll travel to any fight, if the wind us just right.
These five stalwarts make up The Dia-Tribe: Give them a cause and they will fight for it! At Length and Loudly!
Posted by Alucard... (Member # 4924) on :
My crappy super-hero is:
The Near-Sighted Far-Seerer.
He has the inexplicable ability to see into the future, but ALWAYS sees his future sight JUST AFTER the news is public knowledge, unawares to him EVERY TIME of course.
Under the mentorship of Chip, some guy who lives in a shack by the river, NSFS has learned to rely on his occasional brilliant deja vus to help mankind in the only way he knows possible, other than the work he does at the tuna fish cannery Monday through Friday.
[ August 08, 2003, 05:43 PM: Message edited by: Alucard... ]
Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :
Why not make the Torte-olini half turtle?
Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :
The Bureau Kraut! Strict, efficient, but a pointless waste of paper and time.
Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :
Brettly, a quote from The Tick:
"Mucal invader, is there no end to your oozing?"
Posted by Marek (Member # 5404) on :
A great and powerful crime fighting duo, who rarely actually fight any crime.
That's right the epic lack of adventures of Procrastination Man , and Apathy Woman .
Both have incredible powers: Procrastination Man has super human strength and speed, and he is immortal/invincible, but because he is an immortal with super speed he is no hurry to do things like fight crime or check the spelling of his name. "Hey I'm really busy I've got a lot of stuff to do, but I'll get to that house on fire eventually."
Apathy Woman has telekinetic powers, she can fly, and is also immortal/invincible, but because nothing can hurt her, and she can move objects at will, she is just not that worried about crime and disasters. "Look a burning house may seem like a emergency to you but is it really that big a deal?"
Yes Procrastination Man and Apathy Woman, coming sooner or later to someplace, near someone, whatever.
Posted by Sopwith (Member # 4640) on :
The ClariTwins!
This identical duo can thwart any diabolic allergenic plot!
Posted by :Locke (Member # 2255) on :
If I could be a superhero I would be Awesome Man Flying around the world fighting crime According to my awesome plan And if I saw criminals trying to lie Hurting other people and making them cry I’d haul them off to jail in my awesome van Cause I would be Awesome Man
If I could be a superhero I would be Drug-Free Boy Telling the world of the evils of drugs and all of the lives they’ve destroyed Well I’d take all the junky he’s getting so high With their needles and bongs and their sticks made of Thai As I burned them alive I would squeal with joy Cause I would be Drug-Free Boy
If I could be a superhero I would be Immigration Dude I’d send all the foreigners back to their homes For eating up all of our food And taking our welfare and best jobs to boot Like landscaping dishwashing and picking our fruit I’d pass a lot of laws to get rid of their brood Cause I would be Immigration Dude
Stephen Lynch- Superhero
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Haiku-Ru -- A gang of three badly anime-ted super heroes who access their hidden powers by reciting enigmatic 3-line verses. At which point they turn into:
Tea leaf in your cup Morning dew upon your face The brook's laughing stones
Posted by Sopwith (Member # 4640) on :
Sublime, Bob, sublime. Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
The Doubter: Drives evildoers mad with his constant questioning of everthing. Forces himself into dynamic inaction which infects those around him until, finally, the evil doers are paralyzed with indecision. At which point The Doubter laughs and goes on his merry way.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Broadway Show Man : He leaps upon the scene with a flourish and breaks into song, confusing his enemies and making them just a little bit sick to their stomachs.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
And, of course, Chorus Girl, Broadway Man's faithful "side kick."
Posted by Alucard... (Member # 4924) on :
quote: The Pill--no not that pill. THe Pill is a mysterious stranger who uses his vast knowledge of legal, but cutting edge pharmacopia to right wrongs, relax the stressed, and medicate the psychotic. In reality he is Joe Doe, the Pharmicist at a wal-greens near you.
Bwah hah hah! The Pill is a weakling compared to me! His powers pale to those which I have perfected UNDER the counter.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Rickety Stairs Boy: He poses as a sturdy set of stairs, collapsing under his enemies, causing them to fall and yell "Ahhhhhhh."
Posted by eslaine (Member # 5433) on :
Hatrack Man!!!
Eats newbies for breakfast, corrects grammar, argues on the basis of semantics, then hugs everyone. Posted by Sopwith (Member # 4640) on :
Fizzmaster Flash and the Fruity Five!!!!
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
quote: Movie Man -- can sit through any film and instantly tell you what's wrong with it. Single-handedly destroys the enjoyment of everyone within earshot.
ouch!
um, sorry?
Posted by Shy Violet (Member # 5241) on :
Chronically Underfunded Art Supplies Boy!
Created for my CommericaL Art class my seinor year, CUASB sas the power to create "art" out of found materials such as dirt and sticks, and to stubbornly insist that they are masterpieces. He aquired his powers when his elementry school cut it's art department funding in half.
[ August 14, 2003, 10:49 PM: Message edited by: Shy Violet ]
Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :
You know how lizards can lose a tail and then regrow it? Well, this founded my idea for Lizard Limb Boy! He's pretty useless. All he can do is lose his limbs and then regrow them. And when he's startled, they tend to just fall off on his own. So when someone slams a door, or blows a horn, he falls into a heap of limbs.
Posted by E (Member # 1748) on :
Forgotten Profile Woman: She uses a fluff thread to test the old login names she forgot about.
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
*bumpity bump*
Hey everyone, my teenage brothers have recently been obsessed with this site. I went to check it out and it reminded me of this thread. It's actually kind of fun, you can create your own special image of your crappy super hero.
[ August 26, 2003, 01:44 AM: Message edited by: Narnia ]
Posted by E (Member # 1748) on :
I guess there really are people who make up crappy heroes!
Posted by BelladonnaOrchid (Member # 188) on :
Ah! My fiancee and I have come up with Follically Challenged Man and his crime-fighting side-kick Phallically Challenged Man! Of course, these would be the sons of Mid-Life-Crisis Man in his um...endeavors with the fast sports car.
![[Confused]](confused.gif)
![[Dont Know]](graemlins/dontknow.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
![[Blushing]](graemlins/blushing.gif)
?
![[Taunt]](graemlins/taunt.gif)
![[Embarrassed]](redface.gif)