::Sharpens pencils while waiting for Trogdor, that naughty little dragon::
[ September 22, 2003, 11:54 PM: Message edited by: The Principal ]
Posted by The Principle (Member # 5723) on :
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
I think you'll want to talk to my best friend too.
Hobbes Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
Hey, you're not the Principal. He's your pal!
Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
Now, that's very funny boys, but I'm waiting for Trogdor right now. Have some hard candy. Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
We need some Ice Cream. Can anyone go get it?
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
I'd need the keys to the teacher's lounge. I think I'm supposed to be doing Calvin's homework though... What's 9-4?
Hobbes Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
(Ducks into the Principal's office)
(Grabs some candy)
How ya doin', sir? (bright smile)
(Ducks out)
Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
::Hands Hobbes spare key ring::
Now, I don't know what a tiger like yourself needs in the Teacher's Lounge, but I'm sure you have a good reason.
You'll have to ask your teacher the answer to that question though. I'm just an administrator.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Thanks, I'll be back in a 'sec.
Hobbes Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
Hurry back. And stay away from the metal shop with those keys!
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Here you go. Thanks.
Hobbes Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
What a nice tiger! Have a hall pass. Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
Hello. My name is Ms. Gardener. Do you have any elementary positions available at this time?
Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
::shakes hands::
Nice to meet you, Ms. Gardener. Please, have a seat.
Actually, now that you ask, enrollment here at Hatrack has been growing in leaps and bounds, and, yes. We were looking to expand our faculty.
What are your credentials? I mean, we would accept you anyway, being as we are so desparate at this time, but it's a formality, you know.
Edit: sorry about that. My spelling is atrocious, I am, after all, a mere administrator...
[ September 23, 2003, 02:40 PM: Message edited by: The Principal ]
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Thank-you kindly good sir. *Walks off via hall*
Hobbes Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
Boy, that Tiger would make a great hall monitor, don't you think Ms. Gardener?
Hard Candy?
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
(tapes "Do Not Feed the Principal" sign on the large window in front of desk....)
Someone actually did that at my school once.. It was HILARIOUS....
(runs away)
Edit: Actually, it was funnier, as our Principal's name was Mr. Brom. The sign said, Do not feed the Brom, which just sounded funny to me....
[ September 23, 2003, 03:07 PM: Message edited by: Ryuko ]
Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
No thank you, I have sugar issues. I graduated from Ball State University with an Elementary Education degree. I also have a Science Endorsement. I've worked at two long-term sub positions, one of them in Gifted and Talented. I have taught in England. Seeing as how you're desperate, and I'm really quite good, what might I expect in terms of salary?
Oh, and that tiger would be a lovely mascot.
Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
My references are Olivet and Slash the Berzerker.
Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
Oh, those kids are posting signs on my door again! Little skaliwags!
And those are excellent references, but, tell me, have you ever worked with newbies before?
Posted by Zalmoxis (Member # 2327) on :
It would appear that Hatrack has developed a fascination with issues of discipline and punishment.
The next step is a virtual recreation of the Stanford Prison Experiment.
Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
I have gone undercover as Mr. Leigh, asking newbies if they "wanna fight?"
Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
That sounds like excellent experience, Ms. Gardener.
Welcome aboard! You might want to keep that "Mr. Leigh" persona handy. You never know when you might need a substitute!
(Wow! Two teachers for the price of one!)
::hands Ms. Gardener set of Teacher's keys::
Feel free to go start a new Classroom Thread. I believe there's one available now....
If any of the students give you a problem, be sure to send them my way!
Posted by Rita Spankmistress (Member # 3484) on :
"It would appear that Hatrack has developed a fascination with issues of discipline and punishment."
Developed?
Posted by Julie (Member # 5580) on :
Principal! Principal! Suzy stole my eraser and called me a poopy face! Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
Julie, now "sticks and stones" remember. Just ask for your eraser back.
Have some hard candy.
Ms. Spankmistress. Would you like a position as Dean of Students? What are you doing for dinner tonight?
Posted by Julie (Member # 5580) on :
Thanks for the candy! Eeew- it's grape! Oh well, bye!
Posted by School Superintendent (Member # 5725) on :
Mr. Principal...
As My position demands I must ask that you keep spelling mistakes to a minimum. I am getting complaints from the parents
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Just so long as he puts the "Pal" back in Principal...
Hobbes Posted by Yebor1 (Member # 1380) on :
Hey as everyone knows, I need a pal very badly.
Posted by Gottmorder (Member # 5039) on :
*walks in to principals office* Hello, I would like to apply for the position of school bully. As part of my job, I will go around and beat up kids for their lunch money.
Part of the profits will go towards feeding the starving children of some 3rd world nation. I may be a bully, but I'm very benevolent about it.
Posted by Trogdor the Burninator (Member # 4894) on :
**walks in. **
**Looks around for hard candy**
Posted by BelladonnaOrchid (Member # 188) on :
::Walks into the Principals' office with a yellow note in her hand. Places said note on desk::
Please send Orchid to ISR. She has burnt down the science lab, while attempting to combine metaphysical energy with gouda cheese. -Teacher
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
Did I hear there was candy in here?
Posted by Youth ap Orem (Member # 5582) on :
When is recess? I'm bored!!!! *screams, yells, whines, and cries* Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
::beans Youth in the head with the dodgeball::
You're out.
Posted by Trogdor the Burninator (Member # 4894) on :
**picks up ball again, then beans youth in the head once more**
Posted by Youth ap Orem (Member # 5582) on :
You throw like my little sister. I wanted to play on the monkey bars anyway. Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
Now, Trogdor. I hear that you burninated one of our fine students in time out yesterday. If you keep this up, I'll have to inform your mother.
Posted by Pat (Member # 879) on :
**picks up ball, beans Mr. Principal in the noggin**
I'm not afraid. Do your worst.
Posted by Rappin' Ronnie Reagan (Member # 5626) on :
::TPs principal's office:: ::sings:: i'm not high school anymore ha ha haha ha
Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
Now, Pat, stop playing around. Do you know where Trogdor went?
Posted by Gottmorder (Member # 5039) on :
Don't worry Mr. Principal, I'll handle this.
*grabs Pat, drags him outside, beats him up, and takes his lunch money*
*pulls out list*
Pat...Pat...Ah there we go. You have had your beating for the year. I specifically mark off every name so no single person gets beat up twice a year.
Now you can all avoid being beat up with my monthly installment package. You won't be beat up as long as you pay a small fee every month. This will eventually equal the amount of lunch money I would have taken from you, but over the course of the year.
If you have already been beaten up by me, I am also starting a bodyguard service. See me on the playground for more details.
Posted by Government Flunky (Member # 5727) on :
A beefy, red-faced man knocks self-importantly on the Principal's door, rustling sheaths of duplicate and triplicated papers.
"Mr. Principal, I am afraid there are some problems with your little school here and if they aren't cleared up, we'll have to cut back your federal funding. To be concise, there is an epidemic, a rash if you will, of violent behavior. Additionally, there is the little issue of your student's test scores. How do you plead?"
Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
Gottmorder, take care of this Government Flunky, and I'll give you tenure.
Posted by Gottmorder (Member # 5039) on :
can do sir!
*drags government flunky outside, beats him up, and takes his lunch money. Then for good measure, steals his sunglasses*
Well Mr. Government flunky, you'll be happy to know that a starving child in Ethiopa will be fed based off what I've taken for you.
Posted by Government Flunky (Member # 5727) on :
Government Flunky snaps his fingers and around the corner appear . . . can it be . . . YES! ina surprising twist of plot, the two most least likely suspects of government protection . . . Molder and Skully, to the rescue.
"You boys are in so much trouble now," snickers Government Flunky.
Posted by Gottmorder (Member # 5039) on :
Hey Molder, there's an alien landing somewhere on the opposite end of the country.
*Molder leaves immediately to find the truth, and is followed by Skully*
Now Mr. Government flunky, for that, I am forced to toss you into a dumpster. *heaves Government Flunky into a nearby dumpster*
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
Principal, the Government Flunky looked at me funny.
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
(ducks head in, eyes wide)
Um... Principal? I think that there are some vegetarians picketing around the lunchroom... They say they want soy products...
(blink blink)
Posted by Government Flunky (Member # 5727) on :
The Government Flunky, now VERY red-faced, covered in dumpster filth and extremely irritated, stomps back into the Principal's office and icily declares:
"You had your chance. You blew it. Now, just so you know how serious I am, I am henceforth removing your School Lunch Program money. We'll see how you like dealing with hungry children! Hungry, mean, disrespectful children. If things don't improve, I'll remove your sports funding NEXT!"
The Government Flunky stomps out of the Principal's office, pausing to glare significantly at sarcasticmuppet.
[ September 23, 2003, 09:55 PM: Message edited by: Government Flunky ]
Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
That's okay sarcasticmuppet, he won't be bothering anyone anymore.
Have some hard candy.
::hands a wad of bills to Gottmorder::
Mind if I call you "School Bully"?
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
hey, the vegan protestors have dispersed. Apparently, vegetarian diets are much better for a budget-savvy principal. Thank you, Government Flunky!
what, no tootsie rolls?
[ September 23, 2003, 09:57 PM: Message edited by: sarcasticmuppet ]
Posted by Gottmorder (Member # 5039) on :
All part of the job sir. Hmmm...
*steps in front of Government Flunky*
Now Mr. Flunky, imagine how parents would feel if they find out that their children are not being fed properly. Now, if this information that you've pulled the school lunch program were...leaked to the public, imagine the results when you get to face hundreds of angry parents.
*pats Flunky on the back* Have fun.
Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
You know, sarcasticmuppet, you may be right. This government aid does nothing but corrupt the school. We don't need it anyway. Not with graft and such....
Posted by Government Flunky (Member # 5727) on :
"Get real, Gottmorder! Your parents are demanding that the government step in and take control by ANY means necessary - including starving their children. Perhaps with a little less food, they'd sit still longer and learn more and then the test scores your parents complained to me about would be improved . . . "
The Government Flunky winks at Gottmorder.
"You'd make a great secret service agent - how'd you like a job? I guarantee that it would pay more than the pennies Mr. Principal pays you, be far more exciting and involve lots of travel - all expenses paid at standrad government per diem rate, of course. What do you say?"
Posted by Gottmorder (Member # 5039) on :
Sorry sir, my Ph.D is in school bullying. Part of which involves basic biology. It is a well known fact that food provides energy and vital monomers important for cellular production of ATP. Without food, the students will have far less energy, be much more tired and less attentive. Students will be in worse health, and this will result in a massive decline in grades, which the parents will soon find out is a result of your actions.
I ask you to reconsider. If I am forced to, you can meet my friends, Mr. Wall, Mr. Dumpster, and Mr. Concrete.
Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
::hands Government Flunky envelope containing untold numbers of unmarked bills and the number to a Swiss Bank account with which to replenish it::
Move along, now. We have business to discuss here.
Now, School Bully, what color would you like your Hummer to be, exactly?
Posted by Gottmorder (Member # 5039) on :
Nah, I don't wish to waste the school's money on myself. I'm just here to do my job sir.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
I like this principal...
Hobbes Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
Good man. Have some hard candy.
Posted by Government Flunky (Member # 5727) on :
The Government Flunky departs the way he came in, but with considerably less fanfare.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
So, is that hall monitor position still open?
Hobbes Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
Are you prepared to kiss and hug unruly newbies in defense of the school?
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Ummm... Yes?
Hobbes Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
Well, then, of course, you crazy old Tiger!
:hands Hobbes the keys to a new porsche:
Are you sure you don't want any candy?
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
I wanna be a hall monitor. Can I be a hall monitor, please please please?
Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
You seem a nice enough... puppet.
But are you prepared to offer snide remarks and defend the school's borders with irony?
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
:::hem, hem muppet :::
yep, sure. I'd be happy to.
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
(Ducks head in) (snatches candy) (peers at Principal)
Can I be official snitch? I work for candy! But I want immunity from the bully.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Thanks for the keys, but all I need is a sash and a coke.
Hobbes Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
Sorry, um, muppet.
Sure, why not? A school can't have enough hall monitors! Especially those with a rapierlike tongue!
::tosses keys to sarcasticmuppet::
I hope you like this porshe with the custom Kermit the Frog paintjob!
Now, Ryuko. No one likes a snitch.
We'll call you an informer. I expect your report in the morning, and there's a Mars bar in it for you!
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Should I give the Bully immunity from my hall monitoring?
Hobbes Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
^_^ Sweet! Can it be the kind with the almonds in it!?
Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
Oh, don't forget your sashes you two! And those keys work with the soda machine! Save some for Mrs. Larsen! She gets awful cranky without a Coke in the morning!
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
*sits in the school office, crying miserably, with gum in her hair*
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
cool. I'm a belt.
Annie. Peanut butter works wonders. Have a dollop.
Don't forget my highly usefull fangs.
[ September 23, 2003, 11:46 PM: Message edited by: sarcasticmuppet ]
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
*whimpers pitifully at the scary big girl in the belt*
Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
::hums to himself::
Young teacher, the subject, of schoolgirl fantas---
Oh, I'm sorry Annie, what's wrong?
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
I know what you're thinking, "Eewww, peanut butter in my hair, gross." But it really works, and it washes right out.
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
(Hehehe... Good one, Principal... That's a rockin' song)
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
I just want my mommy!
Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
That's alright muppet, I'll take it from here. Have some candy on the way out.
Now, what can I do for you Annie?
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
I thought Ryuko was the informer, not the shameless brown-noser.
[ September 23, 2003, 11:54 PM: Message edited by: sarcasticmuppet ]
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
(ducks in to tattle)
Eslaine's gonna kill herself in the mafia thread!!!
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
they threw gum in my hair and took my My-Little-Ponies lunchbox and pushed me down and called me bad names.
Waaaahhh!
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
Give me two minutes...
You mean, this My-little-Ponies lunchbox?
[ September 23, 2003, 11:58 PM: Message edited by: sarcasticmuppet ]
Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
Now Ryuko, eslaine knows what she's doing. No matter what she says, she is looked upon with suspicion. I think she wishes to make herself a martyr just so that someone will die!
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Uh -huh. That's it... it's.. it's.. it's broken!
Waaahh!
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
O_o But... But, sir! ;_; Doesn't she wanna play anymore?
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
;_; (mourns)
Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
::hands Annie brand new My Little Pony lunchbox and three new mint condition My Little Ponys as well::
Would these help?
Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
Don't worry Ryuko, I'll go see what I can do about eslaine....
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
*sniffs, nods, and shuffles off to the nurse's office to see about the gum*
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
Annie, the nurse is never in.
Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
*bumps around office in the dark*
*fumbles for lightswitch*
Well. That's better. Now where was that ledger at?
Posted by Government Flunky (Member # 5727) on :
A shadowy form rises up behind the Principal and triumphantly snatches the ledger.
"A-HA I KNEW you were doctoring student's test scores. I'll just take that ledger back to my superior's along with the bribe you offered me - we'll see how long you remain as principal now!"
The Government Flunky laughs maniacally, clutching the ledger to his thickened middle.
Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
If you looked at that ledger you would find out that it's not test scores.
It's a record of my money laundering activities.
Wasn't that account big enough for you?
Have some hard candy.
[ October 03, 2003, 09:44 PM: Message edited by: The Principal ]
Posted by Government Flunky (Member # 5727) on :
The Government Flunky blinks suspiciously and peers myopically at the ledger.
"er, hmmmm, oh, yes, well - that's a different branch of government and one which I have no accountability to, so . . . "
clears throat uncomfortably . . .
"candy, you say? any tootsie rolls?"
sheepishly grins and extends ham-like hand -
Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
*opens desk drawer*
*tosses Flunky a bag of tootsie rolls*
Have you ever considered a career in racketeering?
Posted by Government Flunky (Member # 5727) on :
Flunky sits back in a chair and meditatively unrolls a tootsie roll.
Raising an eyebrow, he casually comments, "I thought that was your line of work, Mr. Principal?"
Pops the tootsie roll in his mouth and chews ruminatively.
Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
Actually, I never learned to play tennis or squash.
My career is really in Graft. It's so much easier.
Posted by Government Flunky (Member # 5727) on :
*chokes, coughs, gags*
"I would never have thought . . . "
Unwraps another tootsie roll, pops it in and begins chewing.
Posted by newfoundlogic (Member # 3907) on :
Ha ha, you're in school. *runs away*
Posted by ikantspel (Member # 5752) on :
The hug thread junkies have been giving out hugs in other threads ever since it was deleted. I think anyone caught doing this should be expelled...or shot, it's all up to you.
[ October 07, 2003, 10:51 AM: Message edited by: ikantspel ]
Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
ikantspell? Did you have an appointment? Oh, well. I'd like to think that my students can drop by and visit my office any time they like.
I'd like to institute capital punishment for offenses, but I already have miscrea--I mean hall monitors that are readily available to discipline anywhere throughout, and in some cases beyond, the hallowed halls of our wonderful school.
Unfortunately, this presents a problem in itself. The preferred method of discipline that my hall monitors employ varies with the hall monitor. And one of those monitors, a certain tiger-like one, possesses the edict of hugging and kissing as his method of discipline. A method that works very well, indeed.
(The other uses sarcasm, which is far more cruel, of course.)
Would you like a position as Crossing Guard Captain? We usually don't promote such junior classmembers, but interest in the position is down, as of late. It doesn't seem like much of a position at first, but it's a leg-up on political positioning, and would look very good on the resume' of any boy who might someday apply for School Bully, or some other available postion. And the posibility for other, shall we say, income in the postion can be quite gratifying.
Have some hard candy?
[ October 07, 2003, 12:46 PM: Message edited by: The Principal ]
Posted by ikantspel (Member # 5752) on :
I'll be the Crossing Guard Captain only if I get a beat-down sti-I mean stop sign. I promise if I get my stop sign, I'll rule the crosswalks with an iron fist. (and no, I didn't have an appointment, I smelled candy and followed the scent, which led me here, I just happened to have a complaint ready) *takes hard candy, bites into it, and shatters some teeth*
[ October 07, 2003, 01:09 PM: Message edited by: ikantspel ]
Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
How about countering cute with cute? I mean, you fight fire with fire, why not?
Did I mention that the position has an excellent dental plan? Posted by ikantspel (Member # 5752) on :
"cute with cute" are you comin on to me? All well, I'll take the job, I REALLY need that dental plan, my teeth are like balsa wood. *makes the mistake of biting into more candy and breaks remaining teeth*
[ October 07, 2003, 01:13 PM: Message edited by: ikantspel ]
Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
Well, have a soda on your way out. There's ice cream for lunch today.
Feel free to start a street crossing thread.
And thanks for dropping by my office.
Now, I'm off.
Posted by Julie (Member # 5580) on :
*enter office, bumps thread* Tee-hee! The principal isn't here! *raids office and exits with bags of hard candy shoved into pockets*
Posted by Black Mage (Member # 5800) on :
If I can beat up ikantspel, can I beecome crossing guard? Or may I apply for a position as school bully straight away?
Posted by Government Flunky (Member # 5727) on :
"Okay, where is the Principal?"
*The Government Flunky taps his feet impatiently*
*The Government Flunky growls slightly under his breath*
"Well, I have other schools that are siphoning off the top, so I guess I'll just have to leave this paperwork for the Principal."
Suspicians that School Lunch Program is Being Abused Daily Policy Digest
*The Government Flunky lays the article and the url down, and walks out grinning widely from ear to ear. *
[ November 01, 2003, 09:11 PM: Message edited by: Government Flunky ]
Posted by Crossing Guard Captain (Member # 5778) on :
Black Mage, you could never beat me up, so don't even try it. You can't apply for school bully straight away, you need to follow due process just like the rest of us. As for you becoming Crossing Guard, you just don't have what it takes...a stop sign and a vest.
Posted by Black Mage (Member # 5800) on :
Oh, you wanna fight, huh, punk? You wanna take this outside?
Posted by Julie (Member # 5580) on :
*walks back in* What, the principal isn't back yet? I'm out of hard candy and I need more. I was going to apply for president of the A/V club.
Posted by Crossing Guard Captain (Member # 5778) on :
*Takes "this" outside* LET'S DO THIS THING! *kidney-punches Black Mage and gives him a wedgie*
[ November 02, 2003, 09:09 AM: Message edited by: Crossing Guard Captain ]
Posted by Julie (Member # 5580) on :
Stop! Stop!
This is insane!
...
...
Can't you at least let me get it on video for my application?
Posted by Crossing Guard Captain (Member # 5778) on :
But I'm angry now! I guess we'll wait a few minutes for you to get your camera. And I'm not insane, I'm eccentric.
Posted by Julie (Member # 5580) on :
OK, I'm ready. In 3... 2... 1... Action!
Posted by Eduardo_Sauron (Member # 5827) on :
(Speaks with a heavy foreign / South American / accent)
"Mr. Principal, I would like to talk to you, sir. About a teaching position".
Posted by Black Mage (Member # 5800) on :
(while the crossing guard is waiting)*punches crossing guard in the stomach and knees him in the groin. retreats to a safe distance, then decides to kick him when he's down*
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
Hey, I never retired as a belt, y'know.
Posted by Julie (Member # 5580) on :
*Shifts video camera and moves slightly to the left to get a better view* This is great stuff! Really great! I'm a shoo-in for audio/visual! Now, could you do that again, but this time, face the camera and show some emotion! I'm not believing that crossing guard is really in pain!
Posted by Crossing Guard Captain (Member # 5778) on :
I'm glad I wore my iron underwear today! *jumps up and beats the crap out of Black Mage Matrix-style, then takes out baseball bat and beats him while he's passed out* You're not the only one who can fight dirty.
[ November 02, 2003, 02:52 PM: Message edited by: Crossing Guard Captain ]
Posted by Julie (Member # 5580) on :
Cut! *Changes film in 12.98 seconds* OK, continue! You're doing great work people.
Posted by Black Mage (Member # 5800) on :
*jumps up and twirls in thair, kicking crossing guard on each twirl, then hits crossing guard with the m.d. device. Crossing guard is now a pile of dirt.*
I win. Posted by Maethoriell (Member # 3805) on :
I always found the assistant principal more feared than the actual principal. Then again the principals never seemed to do anything.
Posted by Julie (Member # 5580) on :
Wow, this is great footage. Now where is that principal? I can't be appointed president of a/v if he isn't here! Posted by Black Mage (Member # 5800) on :
That's my position too, Julie. *points md device at her*
Posted by Crossing Guard Captain (Member # 5778) on :
*Pile of dirt melts, combines, and forms into Crossing Guard Captain.* Luckily, I was able to borrow some special effects from a movie studio. Now, you shall die. *Cuts off Black Mage's head and takes MD device* Is this too violent for your movie Julie?
Posted by Julie (Member # 5580) on :
Well, normally I would say that a little blood goes a long way, but this is an exception. It's so realistic, I'll be pres. for sure! Now, do you think you could show a little emotion about having been hit by an m.d. device and living to tell the tale?
Posted by Black Mage (Member # 5800) on :
*android Black Mage collapses, its electronic head several feet away. Five hundred Jackie Chan-Black Mage hybrid ninjas show up and start beating the crap out of crossing guard. One thousand Johnny Depp-Black Mage pirates show up and kill crossing guard.*
I'd like to thank cloning technology, and, and, erm. .. me.
Posted by Julie (Member # 5580) on :
So this is what happens when ninjas and pirates fight: they side together and beat the crap out of everyone else.
Posted by ikantspel (Member # 5752) on :
Penalty: Illegal use of androids, ninjas, and pirates. Also, you have made this thread into a warzone, which is not it's intended use, that is why we have The Do Whatever You Want Thread.
This fight shall be moved to The Do Whatever You Want Thread, and you shall lose the use of your right hand. If The Do Whatever you want thread is inconvenient, we can either start a new one, or hijack a useless one, I leave that up to you.
Posted by Black Mage (Member # 5800) on :
New thread
Posted by The Wiggin (Member # 5020) on :
So is blood good for the grass?
Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
*Grabs peppermint on the way out*
Posted by ikantspel (Member # 5752) on :
Dang! I was really hoping we could hijack a thread, I shouldn't have left it up to you. It's really fun to go into a random thread and blow people up, it makes people angry and confused. okay, we need a name for the thread and a referee.
Posted by Black Mage (Member # 5800) on :
the thread is black mage vs. crossing guard. Julie can ref.
Posted by Julie (Member # 5580) on :
*bump* So do I get the A/V gig? Do I? Do I? Do I?
Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
*fumbles with keys*
Oh, the door's open....
Hi Julie. Here's your AV Keys.
*Tosses Julie several pounds of keys*
Try the toffee on your way out.
Posted by Julie (Member # 5580) on :
*catches keys, tastes candy* Great! Thanks! I'm going to go to the AV room and reorganize it. Last time I checked it was a huge mess!
Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
Um, Principal? Where are the State Standards books?
And I was wondering... Can I buy copies of Ender's Game for all my students? We're studying science fiction next semester. Also, I'll need the gym set up for Battle Room, with no gravity and all that.
Posted by Government Flunky (Member # 5727) on :
"Did I hear someone ask about governmental standards?"
*Rubs hands eagerly in anticipation.*
"Which state's standards would you like?"
Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
Ewwwww! Principal! There's a Government Flunky in the Teacher's Lounge!
Posted by Julie (Member # 5580) on :
*Walks in with many keys dangling and jangling from belt* Wow! That AV room was worse than I thought. Mr. Principal, could I have permission to shoot a video of our school (the good parts only, of course ) to attract more students? It would be designed to attract only "good" students who would help to bring our test scores up. Plus, I would get to try out some of this great high-tech equipment!
Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
Hey! AV Lady! I need the Battle Room set up. Do you happen to have the equipment for that? Also, don't look now, but there's a Government Flunky skulking around.
Posted by Julie (Member # 5580) on :
Yeah, I saw him. *glares in his general direction* I can set up some really cool lighting, but if you want the gravity manipulator you have to ask the Tech department. For some reason it's split like that. Also, don't forget to ask the home ec classes to make the suits for your class. Shop classes might be able to throw together some guns (light of course!).
Posted by Government Flunky (Member # 5727) on :
*Crosses arms and frown impatiently*
There are health and safety regulations that you must follow, you know . . . you are all treading on very thin ice here . . . Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
Aw, c'mon! It's hands-on cooperative learning that meets or exceeds National and State standards in science, social studies, and mathematics.
Posted by Government Flunky (Member # 5727) on :
"Intercooperative, schmoperative. How does it test? We can't leave ANY child behind and there must of course be proof of acceptable progress . . . I'm sure you understand . . . "
*Triumphantly folds arms across chest and awaits reply.*
Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
Dang,you're nasty! I'm sure my Principal will be happy to back me up on this.
Uh, Principal?
Posted by College Grad (Member # 6015) on :
My lifelong dream is to give children the desire to learn!
I am young, naive, and believe I can change the system!
I just got my masters and believe I am ready to take on the Public Education system!
I am screaming for someone to make me hard and cynical!
Here's my application, Mr. Principal, sir.
[ December 10, 2003, 07:48 PM: Message edited by: College Grad ]
Posted by Government Flunky (Member # 5727) on :
"It's not the principal you need, child . . . you need beaurocracy!"
Heh, heh, heh - the Government Flunky raises eyebrows in anticipation . . .
"Did they teach you anything about government and legislative control in school?"
Waggles raised eyebrows meaningfully . . .
Posted by College Grad (Member # 6015) on :
but...how will beaurocracy help children to have a desire to learn?
Posted by Government Flunky (Member # 5727) on :
*Blinks in amazement*
"You ARE new, aren't you?"
Grins in anticipation.
Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
Hate to tell you, College Grad, but now you'll NEVER get hired. Well, maybe as a substitute. People with Master's degrees cost too much. See me? I just got in here on a bare Bachelor's degree. Ask anybody - it's wisest to get your Master's AFTER you've made yourself indispensable to the school.
Posted by College Grad (Member # 6015) on :
The money's not important! I'm here to give children a desire to learn!!! I'll work for a bare minimum of other teachers' salaries. The smiles on the learning childrens faces are valuable enough!!!
[ December 11, 2003, 10:00 PM: Message edited by: College Grad ]
Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
::Sneaks into office::
Oh, hi. Do I know you?
Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
Hello, Principal!
*Butt-shoves the overeager Graduate out of the way*
At the risk of repeating myself,
quote: Um, Principal? Where are the State Standards books?
And I was wondering... Can I buy copies of Ender's Game for all my students? We're studying science fiction next semester. Also, I'll need the gym set up for Battle Room, with no gravity and all that.
and
quote: Ewwwww! Principal! There's a Government Flunky in the Teacher's Lounge!
Posted by The Principal (Member # 5721) on :
Oh, Jenny, here's a wad of cash.
::Hands Jenny a roll of bills the size of a frisbee.::
If you need anymore, we can comp you...
(how is she going to get microgravity in the gym? )
Oh, and the Flunky is just an observer. Pretend like he's not there. (Really, he's alright.)
Have some peppermints, it's nearly Xmas!
Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
![[No No]](graemlins/nono.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Wall Bash]](graemlins/wallbash.gif)
![[Cry]](graemlins/cry.gif)
![[Embarrassed]](redface.gif)
![[Taunt]](graemlins/taunt.gif)
![[Cool]](cool.gif)
![[Angst]](graemlins/angst.gif)
![[Grumble]](graemlins/grumble.gif)
![[Wave]](graemlins/wave.gif)
![[Laugh]](graemlins/laugh.gif)
![[Evil Laugh]](graemlins/evillaugh.gif)
![[Evil]](graemlins/evil.gif)
*![[Party]](graemlins/party.gif)
![[The Wave]](graemlins/thewave.gif)
![[Dont Know]](graemlins/dontknow.gif)
Also, don't forget to ask the home ec classes to make the suits for your class. Shop classes might be able to throw together some guns (light of course!).