This is topic MAFIA DAY 7: The Tale of Sir Newfy in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.


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Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
 
It was a dark and stormy knight. Night.

The Knights of the Round Table determined that the best way to continue their Quest was to split up and each search a different area of the Kingdom. Sir Newfy the Logical went north, and soon found himself in hideous weather. Lightning flashed, sheets of rain beat down. He fell repeatedly, taking injury on one leg.

In desperation, he gazed up into the heavens and caught sight of the Grail, glowing like a beacon. The voices of many angels sang briefly at this vision. Then it disappeared.

Determined against all obstacles, Sir Newfy clambored for the place he’d see the luminous Cup. At last, at the peak of the hill, the very place of the glorious appearance, stood an ill-kept castle. Cold, wet, limping and in fear of death for the fact that he was a walking lightning rod in all that armor, he pounded the door with his steel encased fist.

The door slowly opened and Newfy stumbled in. Dripping on the floor, he stepped clear of the door, which slammed ominously behind him. He was trapped. Quickly, he crossed himself.

“Hello!” called a light, lyrical voice.

Newfy turned and found his eyes bedazzled with dozens of lovely maidens.

The girls all smiled as one, and repeated, “Hello!”

The loveliest of them all stepped forward, touching her slender hand to her breast. “I am Ralphie. Welcome gentle Knight, welcome to Castle Anthrax.”

“Castle Anthrax?”

“Oh bother, it’s not a very nice name, is it? But we are nice, and we shall attend to your every..” Her voice dropped an octave. “... every need.” She paused. “But you are tired and must rest.”

Sir Newfy, with his keen knightly senses detected danger.

“Uh...I think I’d better....”

“Sir Knight! You would not be so ungallant as to refuse our hospitality?” Ralpie looked astonished. The other girls all looked terribly hurt at the mere thought.

“Well...”

“I’m afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet compared to yours. We are but eightscore young blondes and brunettes, all between sixteen and nineteen and a half, cut off in this castle, with no one to protect us. Ooooh. It’s a lonely life...bathing....dressing...undressing...making exciting underwear...”

In short order, brave Sir Newfy was installed in a large bedchamber, resplendent with an enormous four poster bed, with all sorts of interesting, exotic fixtures at each post. He tried not to think about that too much.

Ralphie cried out in her sweet, innocent way. “Why, Sir Knight, you are hurt! I must attend you!”

With that, she forced him down on the bed and stripped him before he could summon a single objection. It might be noted that he didn’t try very hard. Perhaps better stated, he didn’t make much effort to escape.

Swiftly she examined him, but he felt honor bound to object at one point.

“Hey! There’s nothing wrong with....that.”

“Please, Sir Knight, I am trained in these things.”

“No, no, this cannot be! I am sworn to chastity!”

“Get back in that bed at once!” the not quite so innocent as she once appeared Ralphie insisted.

“I’m sorry, I must go,” the hastily redressing Sir Newfy persisted.

Hurrying with a haste born out of moral peril, Newfy ran down the hall, making for the door to leave. He covered his eyes to avoid staring at the young maid...er, girls....he encountered in his flight.

He plunged blindly into the loveliest girl at the castle. “Ralphie!” he gasped.

“No, Anna,” the vision of feminine beauty replied. “Ralphie’s twin sister.”

“Oh. Well, excuse me, I --“

“Where are you going?” Anna inquired.

“I seek the Grail! I have seen it, here in this castle!”

“But there is no Grail here, Sir Knight.”

“I’ve seen it! I have,” insisted Sir Newfy.
Anna looked thoughtful, then said sharply, “Oh, no. Oh, no! Bad, bad Ralphie!”

“What is it?” asked Sir Newfy.

“Oh, wicked, bad, naughty Ralphie! She has been setting alight our beacon, which, I have just remembered, is Grail shaped. It’s not the first time we’ve had this problem.”

“It’s not the real Grail?” Sir Newfy asked with disappointment.

“Oh, wicked, bad, naughty Ralphie! She is a bad person and must pay the penalty!” Anna was most wroth. Then she looked directly at the Reader and said, “Do you think we should cut this scene? We were worried about it, but it’s going so nicely thus far.” She looked thoughtful while re-reading the Hatrack Posting Guidelines. “Oh, I suppose not. Narrator, would you care to take over?”

“Thank you, Anna,” replied the Narrator.

***************************

Brave Sir Newfy, of all Knights of the Round Table, was fearless in facing all manner of perils, and in the fullness of the night faced his last. The twins, Anna and Ralphie, were his match in meting out punishment, until the three collapsed unto death in exhaustion.

In her last will and testament, Ralphie left her paddle to Rita the Spankmistress of Antioch.

***************************

The small horde of black dressed spies giggled to themselves as they doused the flames of the grail-shaped beacon.

***************************

CASTMEMBERS:

Damien, CITIZEN, died of natural causes
Eruve Nandiriel, CITIZEN, died of natural causes
Anna, CITIZEN, killed by mafia
blacwolve, POLICEMAN, killed by mafia
msquared, POLICEMAN, killed by mafia
newfoundlogic, CITIZEN, killed by mafia
Raia, CITIZEN, killed by mafia
Ryuko, CITIZEN, killed by mafia
T_Smith, CITIZEN, killed by mafia
Youth ap Orem, CITIZEN, killed by mafia
Damander, MAFIA, lynched
hansenj, MAFIA, lynched
Head Ditch Digger, MAFIA, lynched
jamaha, CITIZEN, lynched
Narnia, DOCTOR, lynched
Ralphie, CITIZEN, lynched
Zevlag, MAFIA, lynched

Avadaru
celia60
Erik Slaine
Feyd Baron
fugu13
pajeba
rivka
Ryan Hart
sarcasticmuppet
Sopwith
Synesthesia
Troubador

[ September 30, 2003, 01:02 PM: Message edited by: jeniwren ]
 
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
 
Well, I don't have much time again today, and rivka was talking about Ryan Hart. So, we might as well get started. [Evil]
 
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
 
::would really like to scream right now::
 
Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
 
I was about to complain about me not being suspected, which would had a little fun, and now I'm dead ! OK, I will haunt the mafia now.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... [Mad]
Anyway thank you so much Jeniwren, it was a funny death (my companion didn't like it, I wonder why [Wink] ) and a cool game.
Bye everyone !
 
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
 
(wonders ghostily why the Mafia got two hits today....)
 
Posted by msquared (Member # 4484) on :
 
Read the post from Jeni from over the weekend. She wants the game done this week.

So the mafia get two hits a day now, which means it will be done very quickly.

msquared
 
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
 
O_o I'm glad I'm already dead....
 
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
 
Ryuko, so the game will be over by Saturday. I am leaving for Denver early Sunday morning and won't be able to continue moderating while I'm there. Plus the citizens are clearly in the lead, and since it's my job to keep this game interesting, I am letting the mafia have two kills a night. When it gets closer, I'll probably reduce it back down to just one again.

You're welcome Anna. [Smile] I was so looking forward to doing this scene.
 
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
 
I'm still alive [Big Grin] [Taunt]
 
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Syn, bragging about that fact might be a good way to have it change . . . [Wink]

Ok, so Ralphie wasn't mafia. But man, what a fitting death! [ROFL] [ROFL] Wonderful writing as always, Patsy. Actually, I think today's was one of the best yet. [Hat]

You know my reasons. I still think they're true.

I vote Ryan Hart.
 
Posted by Sopwith (Member # 4640) on :
 
I'm going to vote for Ryan Hart as well, since he's been mighty quiet so far and I am darned sure he's a Mafia.

You might call it a policeman's hunch.
 
Posted by fugu13 (Member # 2859) on :
 
Ryan Hart

We're about as sure as it's possible to be.
 
Posted by Her Royal Sweekiness (Member # 5747) on :
 
I'll also vote for Ryan Hart.
 
Posted by Feyd Baron (Member # 1407) on :
 
Oh hell, I can't disagree with that level of certainty.

Ryan Hart

Hope y'all know what you're doing... Going to be targets either way I suspect.

Feyd Baron, DoC
 
Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :
 
ryan
 
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
*notices bullseye attached to back*
 
Posted by pajeba (Member # 5656) on :
 
Three townies dead in one night [Frown] [Frown]
You guys seem sure about this, so I'll take your word for it and vote Ryan Hart.
 
Posted by newfoundlogic (Member # 3907) on :
 
I'll see you soon Ryan.
 
Posted by Ryan Hart (Member # 5513) on :
 
To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?
The fair Avadaru! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember'd.

Alright you caught me. I'm mafia, so is

Erik Slaine
Feyd Baron
Celia60

End this.
 
Posted by Billy Joel (Member # 5357) on :
 
::laughs insanely::
 
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
 
Toldja I was a citizen.

Three in one fell swoop. I also toldja it would be a big mistake.
 
Posted by Troubadour (Member # 83) on :
 
Ryan Hart

[ September 30, 2003, 07:15 PM: Message edited by: Troubadour ]
 
Posted by Feyd Baron (Member # 1407) on :
 
Well, that's a particularly desperate move on Ryan's part. I'd like to request a few courses of actions since I'm being drug into this.

I know I am not Mafia. I am fairly certain Celia and Erik are not Mafia.

If anyone wishes to believe this tripe, let me recommend how it should be done.

To the remaining policeman: Please do not waste any ID's on us. Keep looking for the real mafia. If you really wish to believe the desperate and condemned man, lynch me. You'll see pretty quick that it's all hot air being exhaled from Ryan's mouth as his dying gasp.

Feyd Baron, DoC

EDIT: Just for comic effect... ::steals Rivka's target, puts it on his own back::

[ September 30, 2003, 08:04 PM: Message edited by: Feyd Baron ]
 
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Wow, Ryan. That was . . . interesting.

See, that Feyd was mafia I might believe. He's voted late and said little. I don't actually think he is mafia, but I could be convinced.

Celia I suspected at first, but she's entirely convinced me of her innocence. (I know, celia innocent? But stranger things have happened! [Big Grin] )

Erik . . . well Erik is doing a darn good job of being an enigma wrapped in a conundrum. But he also led the voting against Ryan this morning -- so I think he's probably clear. (Unless he figured Ryan was going down anyway, and just wants us to think he's not mafia. *goes cross-eyed*)

Ryan may be the last mafioso.

But even if he's not, I find it hard to believe there are three more.

Oh, and as for sticking Avadaru's name in there . . . [Roll Eyes]
 
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Well paint me blue and call me Sally!

This just in! celia IS mafia!

No, I am not a cop.

But I know guys who know guys, and I have the inside dirt.

This is how I knew about Ryan, whose death tomorrow should confirm what I say.

Tomorrow, vote CELIA.

*takes target back from Feyd*

*eyes Feyd suspiciously*
 
Posted by Avadaru (Member # 3026) on :
 
Ryan Hart
 
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
*eyes Avadaru with suspicion*
 
Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :
 
last night someone imed me to tell me i had been ided. my response was "oh, good. do they have another mafia name for tomorrow?"

when they said i'd been ided as mafia, i was confused. i still am.

rivka, i do not doubt that someone told you these things were true. i do wonder if the game is so close that this kind of deception will swing the balance away from our side. you'll be dead in the morning. whether your source is true or not, you'll be dead. i'd suggest you pick someone you trust to tell who your source is. when i'm lynched and come up citizen, you'll already be dead, and it will be too late.

choose wisely.
 
Posted by Sopwith (Member # 4640) on :
 
And my sources point to Celia60 as well as Mafia.
 
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
celia, you protest with grace and style, but it isn't going to work.

Nice try, though! [Big Grin]
 
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Oh, and celia, was this
quote:
you'll be dead in the morning. whether your source is true or not, you'll be dead
meant to be a promise? A threat?

Because it's actually far better evidence against you than anything I could have said.

After all, if you were NOT mafia, then it would be in the mafia's interests to leave me alive. I'd look rather suspicious, would I not?

Of course, it doesn't matter. Ryan will indeed prove to be mafia, as he already admitted. I was sure even before you posted that I was on the mafia's hit list -- you merely confirmed it. I had hoped to survive one game of mafia, but at least I die for my town. [Big Grin]

And the remaining townies will vote for you and lynch you.

Great game celia, but no dice.
 
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
 
I would be having such a hayday with this. I want you to know that.
 
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
We know, Tea. *pat pat* It would've been great.
 
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
 
Rivka, you haven't even seen me play. Once. Trust me, if theres one thing people know me for in mafia games it's rampant finger pointing, and chaos.

And being a horrible doctor, but thats a different story.
 
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Not true, Tea. I haven't played with you, but I was following along for two games before the first time I signed up.
 
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
 
What two games in particular?
 
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
The two before Bonduville, I think? Because that's the first game I played.

But honestly, I don't remember a whole lot about them anymore. [Blushing]
 
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
 
If you mean the Camelot one, you can basically throw that one out the window when it comes to true Novak Paranoia. The strategy I used that game was "try to save my own butt for as long as possible."

If you mean the Dune one, that doesn't work either. It was cancelled early.

If you mean the Simpson Mafia, I helped mod that one.

If you mean Battle School Mafia, there ya go. That was a good game, but I tried to do something to benefit me in a later game, that didn't work out.

If you mean The Matrix Mafia or Harry Potter Mafia, now THOSE were good examples of my rampantness.
 
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
 
Wow. First I'm becoming a verb, and now I'm "an enigma wrapped in a conundrum." Cool.
 
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
 
Don't make me Erik Slaine you, dude. You don't want that from me.
 
Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :
 
ah, it was a logical deduction, rivka. logically, the more you claim the mafia has no reason to kill you, the more reason they have. but keep talking. it's fun to read.

it's true, t is a lousy doctor. and he did spledidly in battleschool. he did take me out with him.

you people would be idiots to not lynch me. i know you aren't idiots, that reguardless of what side i am on, i must be lynched. i didn't ask not to be. i just urged caution in your sources, as i always have and always will.
 
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
I was introduced to my sources by the late m². Is that proof enough for you?
 
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
 
quote:

he did take me out with him

I don't remember going out with you. Does Bill know?
 
Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :
 
shh..don't tell him! (why aren't you on?)

and rivka still doesn't get it. [Wink]
 
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
 
I'm on a school computer. No AIM. Parachat, perhaps, but my next class is in 10 minutes.

OK, I'm in parachat.

[ October 01, 2003, 12:38 PM: Message edited by: T_Smith ]
 
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
 
rivka. It couldn't be celia. I could not, in good conscience, vote for celia.

She was the only one to stick with me in that second round.

And you were the one suspecting us then....
 
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
*throws up hands in disgust*

Look, believe me or not. Your choice, Erik.

I was convinced she wasn't mafia either.

But the cops I am in contact with have been right on everyone they've IDed so far. And they tell me celia has been IDed as mafia.

Maybe Ryan was actually telling the truth. Wouldn't that be a kick.
 
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
 
Sopwith? It's been obvious for days. And nothing was done about it?

I don't know what kind of hold the mob has on the cops, but, well... I don't know....
 
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Ooh, desperation. That's always fun to watch.

*pulls up a seat, munches on popcorn*
 


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