For years my father and I have joked around that the University of Miami must maintain a babalao (santerķa "witch doctor" type person) on staff to make all of those Wide Rights and Wide Left happen. As the Marlins began their end-of-season stretch, we joked that they must be sharing UM's babalao, as they had last at-bat win after last at-bat win, and many amazing comebacks. Last night, as I watched the freakish eight run eigth, I came to a very important conclusion.
I am the babalao.
Teams I root for generally win--but big deal. Lots of teams win. But the teams I root for always seem to pull out miracles when they desperately need them--but only when I'm watching the game (well, sometimes when I listen on the radio as well.) And it goes far beyond Wide Right and Wide Left, and Foulgate.
I have had a staggering impact on sports over the years.
Bill Buckner? I did that. I would go to any length necessary to avoid the Red Sox winning the World Series, including destroying a man's life. But, then again, he was only a Red Sox. *shrug*
I may have destroyed a Cubs fan's life last night. I feel bad about that, but that's a chance you just take when you root against me.
Kellen Winslow's fingertips grab on fourth and thirteen against West Virginia? That was me.
On January 2nd this year, Cor and I went out with Bob Scopatz, and I recorded the "BCS Championship." No big deal. I have found over the years that my powers do work retroactively, as long as I have no knowledge of the outcome of the game. It's kind of a Schrodinger's cat type of deal. Unfortunately, though, Cor discovered the outcome of the game and spoiled it for me, spoiling it for the Canes as well. If you're a Hurricane fan, or if you had money on them, I apologize.
I am not omnipotent. My powers do have limits. I can mostly just affect the close games, and sometimes I fail. And I'm sorry when my powers inevitably cause sorrow to some. But not too sorry.
I am thinking of renting my services out, for contests in which I do not already have a vested interest. I'm not a big hockey fan, so if you want, maybe you can get me to use my powers to influence your team's games--as long as it's not the Sunrise Panthers. I will not root for them. You have money on a boxing match? Maybe I can help you out.
Need me to influence a wrestling match?
Don't be absurd. I don't do movies or novels either.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
So how did you do with games of chance? I wouldn't mind winning a lottery jackpot or two.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
You're a Floridian, Icky. Did you vote for Bush in 2000?
Posted by El Babalao (Member # 5817) on :
I don't seem to have any impact on games of chance. It's hard to say, though, because I am very good at blackjack, so am I skilled or just lucky? But since I have never had success on a slot machine (in fact, I seem to have worse than standard luck at slots) I would tend to say no, I cannot influence games of chance.
Tom, good question. I voted for a third party candidate, and I couldn't decide which of the two major candidates was the lesser evil, so it's possible that I may have contributed to the turmoil. Wow. I hadn't thought of that. What a burden of responsibility. *frown*
[ October 15, 2003, 09:10 AM: Message edited by: El Babalao ]
Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :
what do you think of team celia's odds in the upcoming finals season?
Posted by El Babalao (Member # 5817) on :
Illuminate me.
Posted by peter the bookie (Member # 3270) on :
are you moving in on my turf?
Posted by Zan (Member # 4888) on :
How much to make sure the Gators beat FSU this year?
Posted by Zan (Member # 4888) on :
quote: what do you think of team celia's odds in the upcoming finals season?
Magic 8-Ball says ...
Hang on. Wait for it to stop laughing.
Posted by El Babalao (Member # 5817) on :
I dunno about that. I generally consider the Seminoles to be the lesser evil. But if you invited me over and plied me with beer and pizza, I might be persuaded to pull for the Gators. Remember, though, I mostly just influence close games. Posted by peter the bookie (Member # 3270) on :
i'm so confused, was that an insult?
hey, babs, maybe we can work out some sort of profit sharing thing. it'll be all win win, take money from losers.
Posted by El Babalao (Member # 5817) on :
That's the spirit! We can both take money from the people who don't believe in my powers!
I don't do point spreads, though. I just do flat out win or loss.
Posted by El Babalao (Member # 5817) on :
And don't forget, you too could use my services!
Posted by Zan (Member # 4888) on :
<points out that the Gators did far better against the Canes than FSU did>
<and we played Miami on their own turf>
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
Won't you lose your powers if you use them for personal gain...?
...I think I read some fiction like that once...
Posted by El Babalao (Member # 5817) on :
Hmm . . . interesting point.
I wouldn't want to risk that.
Arguably, I've always gained, if in no other way than my enjoyment of the outcome, so I guess as long as the gain is not financial I'm safe. Beer and pizza are adequate recompense.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
I am the Anti-Babalao.
I discovered this in high school when my school team won every football game. Overcome with school pride, I attended one game, and they lost badly.
The previous year I was in the band. We attended every game with the players, and won none. Except one time I couldn't make the game. That night we won.
Ever since then, any game I ignore, my team wins. Any game I watch, my team loses. A few years ago the Rams played the Nashville team in the super bowl. Remember that game? Remember how close Nashville came to winning? I was traveling across country, listening to the game on the radio. When the reception was clear, the rams had trouble. When the reception was poor, the rams kicked bootiey.
I don't do sports any more.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
I'm going to have you do my taxes for me Icarus, if you don't mind.
And I suppose being a babalao is better than being a baobab.
Posted by El Babalao (Member # 5817) on :
I can't take credit for tonight's win, since it wasn't that close--unless you look at the series as a whole.
But I was on standby the whole time, in case I was needed!
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
I do not care about baseball at all. *waits for flames* Posted by Megachirops (Member # 4325) on :
He funny!
Posted by El Babalao (Member # 5817) on :
My work here is done!
That was tough tonight . . . I usually prefer games to be closer than this one was when I hexed the Sox in the eigth!
<--- tired, but will stay up to watch champagne baths.
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