First, I want to say that the apology comes before the news, not because it is in any way more important, but to preface why I will probably be MIA for a while and to assure people it has nothing to do with the recently debated 'state of the forums.'
Recently I received an e-mail from a very good friend here calling me on my actions. I like to think that no one really takes me very seriously and, since I get away with murder a lot of the time, I tend to act with impunity. While I still feel sincerely about many of the sentiments, my method of communicating them is, in retrospect, intolerable. I've been very sarcastic and unkind to a few people lately, and I'd like to apologize to them for any hurt, insecurity or feelings of unwelcomeness that I may have caused. It's absolutely not my right to cause these things in anyone, and I'm sorry that many of the things I said came with barbs attached to them.
Sarcasm is the cheap and easy way out for me, and I have no real excuse for indulging in it. I hope I can be forgiven.
If I am MIA for a while, though, please know that it's not due to Hatrack in the least, but rather a very recent family tragedy.
My sister died this morning at around 10:50a from complications of her epilepsy.
While it is still not really known what happened, it seems that in the middle of the night she had two Grand Mal seizures back-to-back and the second one caused her involuntary muscles to stop. Most notably, her heart and her lungs.
My sister and brother-in-law had been staying the weekend with friends of theirs, and fortunately the husband knew CPR. He administered CPR until the ambulance could arrive, but sadly they were about an hour away from any real hospital.
It probably would not have mattered, anyway. By the time the ambulance showed up she had gone around ten minutes without breathing (though Lang had kept her heart beating) and the brain damage she suffered was most likely extensive. She never really breathed on her own after that without the assistance of a machine. But even if her body had decided it could survive on it's own, she would not have been Tina anymore.
What Lang did was prevent her from dying in their house, and it gave us an opportunity to say goodbye to her. We decided to stop the life support systems, and she died within fifteen minutes. I held her hand while she died. I could feel her heart beat slow down. On the monitor the beats briefly went up, and then the line was flat. And she was gone.
It was the most surreal experience of my life.
She was 31 years old, and survived by her husband, Eric, and her 8 year old son, D'mitri who (as some of you know) is the light of my life.
Eric is a mess. D'mitri is being a little trooper. I worry about him and his need to be so strong and internalize his pain, but I have a feeling he deep down inside felt this was inevitable. He's watched her have countless Grand Mal's in the past, and I think the violence of each seizure prepared him for the concept of 'what if it was the last?'
Slash has been a rock, and Dan hasn't really left my side the entire time.
My theological beliefs are that she is sleeping in death, and that I hope to see her again in an earthly resurrection. I do not believe she is in heaven, and so any well-intended sentiments to that effect will give me no comfort.
Hatrack is amazing, and I want to thank you for the out-pouring of kindness that is inevitable. I most likely will check this thread soon, but that's probably it. I love you guys a ton, and so please understand that I'm gone out of necessity, not desire.
-Toni, aka "Ralphie"
[ November 25, 2003, 05:25 PM: Message edited by: Ralphie ]
Posted by esl (Member # 3143) on :
(((((Toni, Dan and Slash)))))
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
Oh, Ralphie, I am so sorry for your loss.
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
Toni,
Hang in there. You're a good person and friend, and I hate to see that happen to you and most importantly your sister, whom you loved. Again, hang in there.
Best thoughts and wishes.
T_Smith Nathan Novak
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
Oh my gosh Toni. I am so sorry. I can't imagine the shock. You and your family are in my prayers.
Again, I am sorry.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Oh, Toni, I am so sorry for your loss. ((((((((((Toni)))))))))) We'll miss you; go do what you need to do. We'll keep the place running without you, somehow.
(((((Toni&Dan&Slash&D'mitri&Eric)))))
You are lucky to have your family, and they are lucky to have you.
Saudade asked me to pass along a (((((Ralphs)))))
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
oh, Toni, I weep for your loss! i am so sorry! ((((((Toni)))))
Posted by BYuCnslr (Member # 1857) on :
:: Hugs to Ralphie and Slash :: You and your family will be in my thoughts, I look foward to hearing from you.
Posted by Theca (Member # 1629) on :
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Posted by MaydayDesiax (Member # 5012) on :
((((Toni& family)))) I'm so very sorry, dear.
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope she is in a better place....or that the next time around will be better, whichever gives fits your beliefs better....
Best wishes to you and yours in this time of greif...
Kwea
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
My heart breaks for you and your family. We will miss you while you are gone from Hatrack. Take care of yourself.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
Thanks for the reminder, BYUCnslr,
((((Slash)))) Posted by Lalo (Member # 3772) on :
Damn.
Take care of yourself, dude. I never knew your sister, but if even a fraction of herself is reflected in you, she must've been one hell of a person.
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
Oh... Lady... I'm so sorry. I hope you do see her again, in some earthly incarnation. I hope you can find it in you to come back to us someday. In the meantime, you have my hope, my love, and my prayers. Goodbye and good luck..
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
I am very sorry, Ralphie.
Posted by MyrddinFyre (Member # 2576) on :
Posted by ana kata (Member # 5666) on :
<<<<<Ralphie>>>>> <<<<<Slashy>>>>>
I'm so sorry for your loss. Please take good care of each other and remember we love you.
Posted by Nato (Member # 1448) on :
I'm never any good at knowing what to say. My very best wishes are yours tonight.
Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
A lot of hugs and affection. I'm sorry for your loss, I will think and pray for you.
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
Hey Ralphie/Toni
I don't know you very well - really at all, just through what I have seen at Hatrack while i've been here for the past two months.
I have to say that I had, recently, wondered what the 'Ralphie lovin' was about. I didn't get why so many people on this forum idolised you so much. I didn't think you were overtly rude, but I did consider you sarcastic at times.
And then two days ago I was browsing through the landmark threads, and I read yours. And suddenly, I knew why so many people love you here. You shared some of your life, some of your childhood, and some of your most difficult moments - and you did so with grace, humour, intelligence and kindness. Those qualities are what earn you both respect and admiration.
Part of that sharing was to do with your sister, and her illness. So, I don't know you too well. I've shared maybe 3 threads with you in all. But I am very very sorry for your loss, and I know that all the kindness and love that you will receive from this forum will be because of who you are, and is completely genuine.
There's nothing I can say to make this better for you. Take comfort in your family, and in your beliefs. Know that everyone here wishes the absolute best for you, and your family. I know that your nephew will find it probably hardest of all - but I'm sure from what I've seen of you that you will be a great auntie, and help him through everything and anything.
Imogen
[ November 24, 2003, 06:33 AM: Message edited by: imogen ]
Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :
((Ralphie and Slash))
Take all the time you need.
Posted by Sopwith (Member # 4640) on :
I'm so sorry for your loss. May each of you find strength to make it through this time.
(((Ralphie and Slash)))
Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Ralphie and Slash, I wish I could be there to help take care of you. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I'll be remembering you in my thoughts throughout the day, today. Sometimes grieving is hot and angry, sometimes it's quiet longing, sometimes it's cold and frozen. Whatever happens for you, I'll be with you in any way I can.
Much love to you both.
[PS: I don't know if you believe in coincidence, but all yesterday I was playing Leonard Cohen, who helped me get through the loss of my mother.
*hug for Ralphie, breathing a puff of fire on Slash]
[ November 24, 2003, 07:43 AM: Message edited by: ClaudiaTherese ]
Posted by Ela (Member # 1365) on :
Oh, Ralphie, I am so sorry!
Thank G-d you have family to stand with you in this time of sorrow.
Hugs and love to you and Slash, and all your family.
**Ela**
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Toni, Slash, I'm so sorry. I'll be thinking of you.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
((Toni and Ty))
God bless you and your family.
Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :
Toni, I suck at this sympathy stuff. I feel like anything I say will sound awkward and insincere, but I feel like I aught to say something.
I, too, have lost people very, very close to me- some even by their own hand. I understand the immediate shock of young death and the mourning that follows. I know how you're feeling right now.
I wish I could come over and give you a hug or a pat on the back or something, but that isn't possible. Stupid Internet. Well, the sentiment is there anyways.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
(((Toni)))
(((Ty)))
(I'm not trying to be facetious with the hugs. I just can't think of what to say at a time like this, and I don't want to let that prevent me from posting to let you know how much I care, and how sorry I am for your loss, and how much I would do just about anything to make you feel better.)
Posted by ae (Member # 3291) on :
Posted by Jaiden (Member # 2099) on :
Oh my...
(((hugs)))
Posted by KarlEd (Member # 571) on :
((((Toni)))) I've not been on the forum much lately, and I've missed you. I'm sorry for your loss and I hope you will be back with us soon. Karl
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Oh, Toni and Ty, I'm so sorry for your loss. You have my love and my sympathy, more than I can say. My heart goes out to you. Love you very much.
Katie
Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
This is one of those times when I wish I had you sitting next to me rather than on the other side of a computer screen. Take care, Toni. Take all the time you need.
Posted by docmagik (Member # 1131) on :
I am truly and sincerly sorry.
Hugs and prayers to you.
Posted by Ayelar (Member # 183) on :
I'm so sorry.
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I cannot imagine what this experience must be like for you, but I am so glad that you have such a supportive family that will help each other through this. I hope your faith will be of comfort to you and, for what it's worth, I, too, know you'll see her again. I'll be praying for all of you.
Posted by porcelain girl (Member # 1080) on :
i can't really be of any help, but i do love you guys. you are in my thoughts and subsequent prayers, i miss you.
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
Take good care of yourself Ralphie. Take good care of Slash, We've been missing him too. I think. (I don't merely think we miss him, you just never know when someone is posting under another name ;-)
Posted by Maethoriell (Member # 3805) on :
((((Ralpie, Dan, Slash))))
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
Toni, Ty, you have my sympathies. I didn't even know your sister, yet I'm sitting here crying for your loss and D'mitri and Eric's loss, though I don't know them either. Love you kiddo, and hope you will be okay in time. Your nephew is lucky to have you at this time in his life. If you need to talk, I'm always here. (Those last three sentences were for Ralphie, but I like Ty a whole lot, too. )
Posted by Leonide (Member # 4157) on :
Toni, honey, i'm so sorry. So very, very sorry.
My thoughts are with you
((((Toni))))
Posted by Pat (Member # 879) on :
Ralph --
I cannot imagine how rough this could be, so hang in there. Okay?
Pat
Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
Toni and Ty.
>silence<
I wish I knew what to do or say, but I don't. Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Hang tight kid.
If I can speak for the others, we are all full of tears for you and your family. You have our sympathy and our shock.
Don't go to far. There are several dozen dry shoulders willing to let you cry on them, and they are all right here in Hatrack.
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Oh Gosh - my heartfelt sympathy goes out to all of you. I wish I could do something to help ease the grief. Blessings and hugs -
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
Toni, I'm so sorry about your sister. This must be so hard for you. The thing that sucks about stuff like this is that words on a screen are nothing compared to a real hug and a totally lame joke that for a moment might make you smile. I'm glad you posted as you did, sharing just a little bit more about the sister we at Hatrack didn't get to know directly.
Since I can't do it in person, here's a big hug *big virtual hug*, and a pot of skittle soup and as much love and care as I can put in a post.
Posted by T. Analog Kid (Member # 381) on :
I dug this up from Ralphie's 5k post. It's all I knew of Tina and, while it may be presumptive of me to be the one to place it here, I think it a fitting tribute to her courage and strength.
quote:Let me tell you about my sister. While Slash and I have always been "buddies," Tina was the odd man out. Emotional, melodramatic, bossy, self-consumed... I could never do anything right, unless I was doing it exactly to her specifications. I was continually labeled a "brat" for not accepting my role as indentured servant, and any form of torture Ty passed to her was immediately handed down to me. Actually, from both of them. Bastards.
But my sister is crippled. While Slash took Dad's abuse head-on and became stronger, if not more cynical from it, Tina just became more and more broken. She couldn't handle not being able to win the approval she so desperately sought from my father, and I honestly wonder if she was even born with the emotional tools most people develop to be able to handle stress. As she grew older, lacking imagination she turned rebellious, and added to her burdens an entire list of emotional and physical scars from her lifestyle. She was left with little to no self-esteem, and the immature attitudes that often accompany abuse, both from outside influence and self-imposed.
When Tina turned 18, she developed extremely severe epilepsy. I was called at school to be informed that my sister was in the hospital, and she had had some kind of seizure. It ended up being a Grand Mal, and the beginning of what would be a daily series of them until they could find medication that worked for her.
This was tragic, but most especially for one major reason: Tina had begun asserting her independence. She had her license. She had a job. She was planning on moving out. She had friends she was moving in with. She was becoming an adult.
And with one condition that came out of freaking nowhere, it was all taken away. She couldn't drive, because what if she had a seizure in the car. She couldn't work, because they had to call the ambulance every other day and it was an embarrassment. She couldn't move out, because now she had no money and no car. She was stuck. She was a little kid again. She was embarrassed.
The first time I saw my sister have a seizure, I cried like a little sissy-bitch. We were home alone in the very beginning days, and she just started shaking violently. I held her as best I could, and she threw up on both of us. She urinated. It lasted for, maybe, ninety seconds. I held her as she slowly "woke up," dazed and unable to talk. She didn't know where she was. She knew who I was. She didn't know what had happened. I told her she had vomited and urinated, so I was going to change her clothes. She nodded slightly.
And I cried while I changed her clothes.
It wasn't fair. It wasn't bloody fair. I was the youngest, I was smart, I was loved. I had every advantage Tina hadn't had. And here it was SHE that had developed epilepsy. Her, when it would have been so much more fair for me to have. She couldn't take it. She could barely handle soap operas, how was she going to handle something like this?
In those moments, I hated myself. I hated my advantages and everything that had ever been give to me. I hated that I wasn't Tina, and if I could have shoved a butcher knife into my gut to prevent her from having another seizure, I would have.
But she dealt with it. She made it through. Marriage, a child. Friends. She carved a life for herself, and she's as happy as she can be. She works hard and she's motivated. She's compassionate.
Between the two of us, as we grew up, things got better as they often do. Sometimes we go shopping and talk on the phone. She gave birth to my gorgeous nephew D'mitri, who is the love of my life, and for that I will be eternally grateful. She's also turned out somewhat cool, in her way, and she takes care of her immature husband and her kid. While I don't seek out her company, I respect her. And that's a whole heckuva lot more than I used to say.
She makes me feel like a coward. From her I take away both superiority and extreme inferiority. Her marks are on both sides of the pendulum.
Toni, Dan, and Ty, my heart is heavy for you and your families. Be well.
Jim
Posted by jexx (Member # 3450) on :
Darling Ralphie, Whatever you may have done, and whatever you may do; you are always a part of us. Your loss doesn't make our love for you stronger, but our love for you makes your loss ours. I sit here crying at the keyboard, sending strength to you and Ty and your family. Don't leave us for too long, but leave us for as long as you need. (((Toni)))
Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
I am very sorry Toni. I know what it's like to see somebody on life support machines. It's very hard.
Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
I forgive you for being sarcastic to me. Don't worry about it.
I'm really sorry about your sister. That's so sad. I wish there was more I could do than this: (((((((((((((((Ralphie)))))))))))))))))
Posted by BelladonnaOrchid (Member # 188) on :
Toni- May positive energy surround you and your loved ones in your grief, reminding you of the better times you've shared with your sister. You and your family will be in mine and Rick's thoughts.
Joyous gifts you brought us with your presence. As we move on, so do you. May the path be bright before you And our hearts release you to travel it, leaving gleeful memories in your wake.
Merry meet, merry part, and merry meet again.
Posted by Pixie (Member # 4043) on :
Toni, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you must be going through right now. Rest assured, though, there a lot of people here that care for you immensly and would, given the chance, do anything they could to help. For my part... ::hugs:: May better days find your path.
Posted by Zotto! (Member # 4689) on :
Oh man. I am so sorry, Toni. Thinking of you and yours. Praying you all can heal. If us Hatrackers in the Portland area can be of any help at all for ANYthing, let us know.
*hopefully you won't mind if I give a patented Zotto hug, for the same reasons Icarus stated*
(((Toni+Dan+Eric+D'mitri+Ty+Family)))
~Jeremy
Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
(((Ralphie)))
Posted by larisse (Member # 2221) on :
Ralphie,
I am so sorry for your and Slash's loss, as well as the rest of your family. I can't even imagine what you are going through. All I can do is keep you and your family in my thoughts and send you virtual hugs (neither of which do your situation justice for comfort).
{{{{Toni "Ralphie", Ty "Slash", Dan, Eric, and D'mitri}}}}
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
Oh my goodness, I am so so so so so so sorry Ralphie, and the others who are suffering as a result of the tragedy. I wish so much I could help you, I'm so sorry this had to happen. My uncle is epileptic, my mom's brother, and so I know what it is like to constantly worry about those close to you, to worry that they'll be alright. And my uncle lives about 4000 miles away, so I definitely understand the feeling of helplessness.
Ralphie, again, I am so so so so so so sorry to hear that *hugs to you all* and I hope that you all will be ok, you have all my sympathies.
Btw, you can e-mail or IM me at ABSOLUTELY any time, if you need a friend, or someone to talk to, ok? I'm here, and being an internet geek, am always online, so please please feel free to do so, I would try to help as much as I can, or I could just sit and listen if you needed to let something out!
*hugs again*
Posted by Ethics Gradient (Member # 878) on :
Toni, you know how much I care and respect both you and Ty. I am sorry for your loss. Please tell Ty that my thoughts are with him and with you today.
Much love, Michael
Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
*speechless--and that's rare, believe me*
(((((Ralphie)))))
Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
You left us all behind Was this the way that you'd remind us to cry? How could I be this close And not go through what I'm supposed to, why? Was there something I forgot? Was it the service?
((((((((((( Toni and Ty ))))))))))))
Posted by Amka (Member # 690) on :
Ralphie,
I hope you, Slash, and your sister's family do well through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Ami
Posted by Ophelia (Member # 653) on :
Toni, Ty, Dan,
I am so very sorry for your loss. Good luck getting through this tough time. You and the rest of your family will be in my thoughts.
Posted by JonnyNotSoBravo (Member # 5715) on :
Toni,
My heart goes out to you and your family. If you need anything at all, you know how to reach me. When you're ready to come back, we'll have more intelligent threads and Funny waiting for you. I'll be listening to Afterimage and thinking of your family.
Jon
[ November 24, 2003, 11:03 PM: Message edited by: JonnyNotSoBravo ]
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
I am so sorry... thinking of you and your family.
Posted by Toretha (Member # 2233) on :
oh bloody purgatory! I'm so sorry,
((((((RALPHIE"S FAMILY)))))))
Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :
I'm so sorry.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Ralphie and Slash! I'm so sorry to hear about this. I'm glad for D'mitri that he has such a loving aunt and family to help him.
You are all in my prayers.
(((Ralphie)))
(((Slash)))
Come back soon. When you are ready...
I happen to really like sarcastic wit, by the way, so if it helps any, you can practice on me.
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
There's nothing to say, but plenty to feel. Whatever strength, whatever will I have is yours.
Posted by Centurion (Member # 3956) on :
Ralphie,
I'm sorry for your loss.
Take care of yourself and then take your heinie back here. I, like Bob, enjoy your humor.
I understand how hard it is to tell someone to turn off the machines and I wish that any poor words of mine would make you feel better.
Frank
Posted by Danzig (Member # 4704) on :
I am so sorry.
Posted by solo (Member # 3148) on :
Ralphie (and Slash and all others affected) I am so sorry for your loss.
My wifes sister was killed in a car accident on Sunday afternoon, so she (and me as well) is going through a similarly difficult situation right now. My wife is with her family, but we couldn't afford for all of us to go so I am staying home with Leandra. I hope you take comfort in time spent with your family and with the beliefs you hold.
Randy
Posted by NdRa (Member # 2295) on :
I just heard my heart break. I'm so sorry.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Randy, I'm sorry.
Posted by Strider (Member # 1807) on :
Ralphie, Slash, and solo, I'm sorry for your loss, and I wish you guys all the best during these hard times.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Just wanted to let you know you have been in my thoughts.
AJ
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
I wanted to thank everyone for taking the time to post their condolences and for their beautiful e-mails.
We've been in and out of town, spending the night with my parents and basically trying to get all the affairs in order. But I've been able to check this thread a couple of times, and it's been very healing to know how many people are keeping my family in their thoughts and prayers.
Solo - I am so very, very sorry. I've never had anyone this close to me pass away, and now I know what it means to have your heart split in two due to the death of a loved one. Please give your wife and her family my deepest condolences, and know that you are so very important to her and the grieving process. I can't even imagine what I would do without Dan.
(Christine, aka "LadyDove" - Dan wanted me to tell you, "Now we have a good reason to use those nice shotglasses you gave us when we were down there." Again, thank you so very much.)
This is a picture of my sister, Tina, taken this year. She had actually just turned 32. I can't believe I forgot that.
[ November 25, 2003, 05:26 PM: Message edited by: Ralphie ]
Posted by Troubadour (Member # 83) on :
I'm so sorry Toni.... I hope you're holding up and if there's anything I can do...
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
solo, I missed your news when you first posted it. I'm terribly sorry for you and your wife's loss. I do hope you're doing alright. You and yours are in my thoughts.
Toni, keep hanging in there, and I hope you know you can count on me if you need anything.
Posted by solo (Member # 3148) on :
I'd like to thank everyone for the condolences offered. I am struggling a little not being able to be with my wife and having to take care of a 5 year old who doesn't really understand why I get a little teary eyed when she talks about Auntie Shelley. I talked to my wife last night and she seems to be doing a little better now that she is surrounded by family. I am back at work and that is at least a distraction.
I am really going to miss Shelley. I commuted to college with her for several months the year after my wife and I got married and I got to know her really well. She was an Arts Major and we were constantly bickering about which was better, Arts or Sciences. We only agreed that the Fine Arts were a useless field to major in (no offense to any Fine Arts students, it was just a joke).
Shelley was such a good person. She was one of the most generous people I have ever known. She would give up her last dollar if she though you needed it (and by you, I mean any person she just met). Leandra brought something home from school yesterday that talked about donations for a food bank and she asked me what that was. When I told her, she said "I remember going to a food bank with Auntie Shelley once". Shelley at times could barely put food on her own table and yet she was still giving to the food bank.
She will be missed.
Posted by StigLarson (Member # 5579) on :
I am so sorry Toni. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
solo, thank you for sharing her story. You, Ralphie, and Slash are very close in my heart today.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
*hug*
I wish I could do more.
Posted by odouls268 (Member # 2145) on :
(((Toni))) Posted by ginette (Member # 852) on :
He Ralphie, I am sorry.
You are in my thoughts.
Posted by AndrewR (Member # 619) on :
Oh, Ralphie, I am so sorry for your loss.
My thoughts are with you.
Posted by Centurion (Member # 3956) on :
<< Shameless Bump >>
Just hoping that she's still checking here once in a while and will come back to us soon.
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Cry]](graemlins/cry.gif)
Oh, Toni, I am so sorry for your loss. ((((((((((Toni)))))))))) We'll miss you; go do what you need to do. We'll keep the place running without you, somehow.![[Wink]](wink.gif)
)