...because he's insane and wants to go across it by bicycle.
I have some free time coming up this summer, so I plan to take off for a round-the-country bicycle trip. This in completely ignoring that I haven't ridden a bicycle since I learned how to in kindergarten, and that I've just severely injured my ankle. I think I'll be up to the trip come summer, so there I go. If I don't chicken out at the last minute, as I'm far too prone to last-minute cowardice.
Now that my brother's joined the Navy, he's had to clean out his apartment and volunteered his bike to me. It's a good one, oversize, and works for streets. So that's taken care of. I'm also willing to blow a bit of money on a compact sleeping bag and a couple changes of bike clothes, as well as an iPod to keep me company on the long trip.
Now, the difficult part. I've ordered some bike trip books off Amazon.com, since I'm in no hurry to get them, and as I wait for them to arrive, I'll outline my very general plans for the trip.
I start from Los Angeles, and bicycle up the coast to Portland, Oregon. From there I think I'll cruise straight east to Boise, Idaho, then up through Pierre, South Dakota -- I'll even take pictures to determine, finally, if the myths are true and there really are Dakotas.
From Pierre, I plan to go to Jacques, then to Olivier, then to Timothee, then to Sebastien, then to Rene, and finally to Gaston. Then I'm off to Madison, Wisconsin. I'll swing south around one of the big freaking lakes you have up there, and maybe break through the heavily armed Canadian border for a quick rendezvous in Toronto, Ontario. Then to New York, New York.
Then begins the return phase of my journey. While I'm still not sure I'll return at all -- I've been looking for a reason to move to New York -- if I do go, I'll come back via a southern drop from New York to Washington, D.C. Then I'll head due west through to maybe Lincoln, Nebraska. Then I'll probably head north a bit to avoid the deserts, and return through Cheyenne, Wyoming to Portland, Oregon, then cruise back down the coasts to home sweet home.
Then I'll bicycle to Hawaii, if I feel up to it.
Here's a political map to help you figure out the route. If only I had the brainpower to design my own map. Come to think on it, I may ask Perelandra to do me a favor and grant me use of a map similar to the map he once had marking the location of each member of the Hatrack clan. It'd be damn helpful to keep my progress on that thing.
Now, my question is, which Hatrackers am I going to come across during my travels, should I travel at all? Are there any along that very general route I should swing off of and meet? I'd love to head down to Lousiana, where all the truly cute Hatrackers (excepting Toni and Frisco, of course) seem to herd, but that would mean an eventual trek across hostile deserts like Arizona and new Mexico and Texas. Not to mention, I hear the humidity in the South is evil -- and I'd have to pass through virtually all the South to get to Lousiana.
Also, if anyone understands the logistics of bike travel (I don't), just how far can a dude get on a bike in a week? Would I be able to get up the Californian coastline in one-two weeks, or should I budget more time? Also, are there any, say, mountain ranges or cruel wastelands or corrupt cops I should know about before I settle on any definite course?
Not that defining my path will come within the next six months, if I ever plan anything at all, but it'd be a nice heads-up.
Posted by msquared (Member # 4484) on :
Lalo
You have to stop by Dayton so that I can bust a cap in yo ass.
I could also treat you to some of the best ice cream in the state.
msquared
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
If you want to stop by Utah, I'll be sure to show you around, get you some frozen custard that I promised saxon75 and stuff...
Course, you'll have to bunk with Jon Boy and Ruth, but I'm sure he'll be OK with that.
Just don't tell him... shhhh...
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
If you are heading to Madison, then you have to stop by my place as you head south around or into Chicago!
AJ
Posted by Papa Moose (Member # 1992) on :
You're welcome to stop at our place on your way up the coast. Just let us know when.
--Pop
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
::jumps up and down::
That's my frozen custard! Mine mine mine!
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Awesome, Eddie. We can bunk you in Madison with the following:
- fresh, poofy futon on frame with 250-count sheets - "guy" gift basket with razer, other toiletries, and gourmet chocolate bar - Cable TV in your room - !massage table! / luggage cart - a generous selection of Leonard Cohen music - apple pie
You will also be treated to a wide variety of eBay art on the walls, more books than you can shake a stick at, and two very furry leeches who make rumbly noises when you rub their bellies.
The catches:
- no smoking inside the apartment - no hootchies in the master bedroom - you have to be okay allergy-wise with cats (we can shut them out of the room, though) - must be down with the nearby scenery, e.g. relaxing on the balcony while looking out over the piney fineness that is Elver Park
Wasn't Irami going to do this sometime? Irami, if you read this, the offer's open to you. I'll even throw in a night of sociopolitical discourse (one cup of espresso and my spouse starts ranting ).
Posted by Papa Moose (Member # 1992) on :
<Starts making plans to travel to Madison soon.>
Posted by Lalo (Member # 3772) on :
Holy crap.
Well, I'm going out to Madison, at least, even if I chicken out of the bike trip.
And yeah, Irami, if you're up to this, I'm not averse to a pacing friend. If not, I'm fine doing this alone as planned, but it'd be nice to find out why all those white women go black and don't come back.
Posted by Lalo (Member # 3772) on :
And heh, Mike, dude, of course I'm dropping in with you, whether you like it or not. I still need to atone for that one booksigning. Same goes for you, AJ -- I must speak with Bob and see if he's not interested in starting our relationship up again.
T_Smith and M^2, dudes, CT's upped the ante. Do I hear you offering not only free ice cream, but all-night footrubs to win the prize? Eh? Eh?
Eh?
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Lalo, he's still obsessing over you too. But after hearing about the dozen fights he's gotten into with truckdrivers on the tollways I've decided that the less he knows about you the better <grin> I do however think you will like Steve, my bf because he's about as much of a smarta$$ as you are, and I would be highly entertained to watch you two have a conversation!
It would probably be about a day's ride from CT's here I think. Map madison, WI to Rolling Meadows, IL and you've got it!
AJ
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
I have a hot tub.
And a pool.
Which you can't use.
I don't do foot rubs.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
I HIGHLY suggest reading through this web page if you're going to do long distance cycling.
Hobbes Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Especially this part of it. And I am very jelous Eddie.
Hobbes Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
Central Iowa doesn't have a lot to offer, but it's flat. Very flat. The outer edges of the state aren't, but the middle is. Don't underestimate flat while planning a bike trip.
Posted by Speed (Member # 5162) on :
Oy, Eddie. If you're passing through Salt Lake and need a place to crash, I'm sure that with some notice we could hook you up with a bed and an evening's entertainment. The "no smoking" rule applies at our pad, but otherwise I'd be quite keen on making your acquaintance.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Eddie, you just get yourself here, and it'll be wine and roses.
Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :
I recommend that you not pass through my home county, Eddie. You run the risk of being lynched, or at least chased out of town. Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
Well, since your swing through Toronto is specifically to visit me (don’t burst this bubble, it’s all I have!) I think it'd be remiss of me to not be there. I have no idea what my place in Toronto will be like, I haven't found it yet. But I'll be earning big pharma money developing drugs to sell cheaply to Canadians and yet still cost Americans one of their kidneys (an operation that requires more drugs. It's a vicious, yet brilliant, cycle. <---- Note the use of cycle. That's wit my friends, that is wit). Nonetheless I can promise you some high quality moose porn and all the sites and sounds Toronto has to offer. Plus there's a spot on our Olympic basketball team if you're interested. Of course, if you can't make it then piss off and go home. Although, depending on when you're planning on swinging through I could bike down and meet you in New York or Detroit or the like. Assuming you won't deport my ass to Syria or something.
I used to go on long bike trips, but I’m wary giving out advice for something like this. I’m sure Hobbes will cover me. Besides, all the distances I could give you would be in Kilometers and the last time an American tried to convert imperial and metric systems the probe crash-landed on mars.
Posted by ladyday (Member # 1069) on :
My sister in law and her husband attempted a Washington (DC) to Washington (State) trip a few years ago. I'll ask her about useful information for you.
Some issues that came up...
1. Weight. I imagine you can pack light, but you really can't have any frivolities weighing down your bike.
2. Isolation. Just knowing that should something go wrong, there's no one for miles to help you can be a little scary. While there is a certain amount of romance to the idea of traveling solo, at the very least have a way to contact civilization should you need it.
3. Broken bikes. This slowed them down quite a bit. Most of their problems could be attributed to weight, and were compounded by the fact that they didn't always know how to repair whatever broke and were isolated enough to need to wait a long time for help.
4. Mean people. Read some of Hobbes’s threads to see how nasty people can be to bikers.
5. Unfinished bike paths. This happened quite often; they would plan their route, the map would show a completed path, and it would just kind of end.
6. Mean critters. This is what finally made my sister in law throw in the towel. After weeks of dealing with 1-5, in the farm areas of the Midwest they came across rather vicious dog packs that chased them for miles.
I don't want to be discouraging here. I really do think you can do it, I just think that part of the reason my sitter and brother in law didn't end up going all the way through was because they got some unexpected surprises. The idea of you going out alone scares me, but certainly people have done this before and lived to tell the tale.
[ December 03, 2003, 10:23 PM: Message edited by: ladyday ]
Posted by kwsni (Member # 1831) on :
Oh, I see how it is. You won't go around the lake for me, but you'll do it for BtL. TWO lakes! I'm only on the other side of one!
Ni!
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
quote: if I do go, I'll come back via a southern drop from New York to Washington, D.C. Then I'll head due west through to maybe Lincoln, Nebraska. Then I'll probably head north a bit to avoid the deserts, and return through Cheyenne, Wyoming to Portland, Oregon, then cruise back down the coasts to home sweet home.
eddie, That makes it sound like you just plan to follow Interstate-80, what a boring route across the U.S.! (have fun in Wyoming, west of Cheyenne, on that one).
Feel free to stop by for a visit/meal if you come through Kansas. They have a BAK (Bike Across Kansas) each year that I have thought about joining. I once helped years ago with a group that went Pacific Ocean to Atlantic Ocean -- they were really beat by the time they got here -- and they said, "In Kansas, no matter which way you face, you're in a head wind!"
Sounds like quite an adventure! I'm jealous.
Farmgirl
Posted by Lalo (Member # 3772) on :
Actually, I'm fairly intimidated myself. I'd have a friend drop me off at the beach, since I don't want to pass through South-Central (nothing against the place, there just aren't many gringo cyclists going through there) on my way out. I'm going to feel ridiculous enough as is.
As for muggers elsewhere and dog packs, I'll be carrying a hunting knife on my hip. And so long as my ankle recuperates well, I don't think I have much to fear.
As far as weight goes, yeah, I'm worried. I weigh 230 pounds myself, and while I don't plan to bring much beyond an iPod, two-three changes of clothes, and a compact sleeping bag, it might be a bit of a bitch getting up hills and the like. Which is why I'm paying rapt attention to what dkw said -- Central Iowa, here I come.
Good point on communication. I'll look into a cell phone plan, or maybe travel more populated roads. As it is, I have no intention of going off-roading, so I don't think I'll be terribly isolated for long periods of time.
Broken bikes. Heh. Yeah, I wish they were cars. But if my bike breaks down, I'll just look frantic and offer to flash the next dude who comes along if he fixes my bike for me. My father used to be fairly into bikes, actually -- I'll have to call him up and see if age isn't deteriorating him too rapidly to remember how to replace a bicycle wheel.
Mean people and dogs, I'm not so worried about. Like I said, I'll have a knife handy, and while it won't be much help if a motorist decides to sideswipe me, I can at least get rid of the more confrontational threats that come my way.
Yikes on the bike path point. I saw in Hobbes' link that there was some forum of experienced bikers who give out free advice -- I'll have to e-mail some of them and see how things work. Plus, a couple dudes I met in Costa Rica were into the whole travel thing, so I may get some more personal advice. Thanks for reminding me, dude.
Damn, Hobbes and Ladyday. Thanks for helping keep me alive. And thanks to the rest for giving me reasons to be alive -- particularly you, CT. I'd love wine and roses; but are you sure your husband won't walk in on us?
I hope he doesn't. I'm going to need the booze if I'm going to hit on Bob the Strong the next day.
Speed and T, dudes, if I go through Utah, I'm definitely stopping by. And not just because T's a Brad-Pitt-look-alike -- it's also because he's offered me custard, which is clearly some kind of Soviet chemical weapon as it isn't sold anywhere in the greater Los Angeles area.
Bob, we're definitely watching moose porn together -- I hear they're hung like Canadians.
Posted by Papa Moose (Member # 1992) on :
Dang, I thought I got that all back before it hit the streets.
Posted by fiazko (Member # 5812) on :
Stay away from PA. The scenery is beautiful, but unless you plan to travel by interstate, the hills will kill you.
Ohio, on the other hand, is perfectly flat. I second msquared's suggestion of Dayton because I'm not far from that, and I'd love to take pictures as you go by, so I can say "I 'know' this guy."
Seriously, though, it's a very cool idea. --Definitely do a good bit of research regarding terrain, safety, supplies, etc. --Definitely take a camera (digital if you can get your hands on one). --Definitely overestimate travel time and allow small detours. Aside from possibly catching up with a Jatraquero, there are countless small towns across the nation with unique things to see and do. (watch the movie "Michael" if you don't believe me.)
I hope it all works out. It would be an experience of a lifetime.
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
You'd better stop in Louisiana, since that's where I'll be come summertime.
But don't let that deter you from enjoying the beauty of Idaho. Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
"As it is, I have no intention of going off-roading, so I don't think I'll be terribly isolated for long periods of time."
Eddie, you live in California, right?
Trust me on this: once you cross the Rockies, even if you stay on major roads, you will feel isolated for hundreds of miles at a stretch. Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Ditto on what Tom said. It may be greener and cooler than the Mojave, but it is more desolate. You are also going to need to make sure that you pack enough fresh water to stay hydrated, while riding in the summer heat, and extra water and emergency rations in case you do have to camp somewhere unexpectedly.
You are taking some camping equipment right? Or are you planning on going from motel 6 to motel 6?
AJ
Posted by Irami Osei-Frimpong (Member # 2229) on :
You shouldn't go up the coast. The wind will half your distance. I flew up to Seattle and biked the 1100 miles back down to SF. The good news is that once you get all of the supplies, the actual trip is astonishingly cheap. Since all you do is eat and bike, and most campsites cost two dollars a night for bikers, you can do it on a budget.
There are maps and bike routes online. I plan to go across country the summer after next. If you do place through Berkeley. I'm more than willing to offer a couch, shower, and laundry.
[ December 04, 2003, 03:26 PM: Message edited by: Irami Osei-Frimpong ]
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
thanks Irami
AJ
Posted by msquared (Member # 4484) on :
Eddie I am not rubbing your feet, but I offer grilled brats, hot dogs, hamburgers, with lots of other salad type things and beer if you want it. You can also camp in my back yard. I will even supply you with my son's 4 person tent and my air matress. You will be able to gaze upon the beauty that is my wife, mcubed. She might even make you her famous chocolate chip cookies and her brownies.
And if you insist one of my boys can be your lackey for the day.
msquared
Posted by Papa Moose (Member # 1992) on :
Although technically offering beer to Lalo could be called contributing to the delinquency of a minor, it is Lalo we're talking about here, so I think you should be safe. Also, be sure you understand what he thinks "lackey" means before offering up your son. Just a suggestion.
--Pop
Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
There is always a bed at our place for bicycle tourists (unless we happen to be bicycle touring ourselves).
I would recommend going through northern Idaho rather than through Boise. The snake river valley is very hot and pretty desolate in mid summer. Go up through Walla Walla Washington and Lewiston Idaho and then take Highway 12 over Lolo Pass into Montana. It absolutly gorgeous.
From there be sure to go north through Glacier National Park. The going to the sun road is a bicycle touring classic. Well worth doing. The bike tour Rich and I did through Glacier was unforgettable. Be sure to leave extra time to hike in the park. If you decide to do the Glacier trip, there are two possible routes (Highway 93 through Polson and Highway 83 through Seeley Lake). The Seeley lake road has less traffic and is prettier by has no shoulder for much of the way.
In the western US, finding a spot to camp for the night is pretty trivial. People consider bicycle tourists to be mostly harmless and so you can usually get away with sleeping almost anywhere (BLM land, national forest, churchs, parks, vacant fields, etc.) Be careful on the Indian reservations, this is the one place you want to get someones permission before you set up camp. They are often a bit sensative about people squatting on their land. Once you get east of the Mississippi it gets alot harder to find a place to sleep unless you are willing to put up the money for a hotel or a KOA.
A few additional tips.
When riding through the western US, be sure to carry plenty of water, it can be along way between towns.
Fenders and rain gear are a must.
Ben and Jerry's ice cream makes the wheels go round.
Flats always happen when its raining.
Make sure you have multiple positions on your handle bars.
National parks frequently have sites reserved for bicyclists. You generally have to share these sites with other bicycle tourers which is a great way to up with other people. Sometimes you even form improptu groups that tour together for several days.
Learn to wash your bike shorts and other necessities by hand in a bathroom sink. You can generally tell how long a cyclist has been on the road by the number of clothes he has drying hanging on the back of his bike.
Don't go into a small red-neck wyoming town wearing tights.
The megamid tent is tops for bike touring.
If you do make it to Hawaii, be sure to bike around the island of Maui. The Hana coast is fantasic on a bike.
Posted by msquared (Member # 4484) on :
Ok how about gopher instead.
Lalo is underage? I thought he was in he early 20's. That's legal where I am. At least for beer.
msquared
Posted by Papa Moose (Member # 1992) on :
I wouldn't be too confident about what Lalo would or wouldn't do with a gopher, either.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
A quick pitch for Missouri. A few years ago they took an old railroad route and turned it into a bike path that cuts across the state, mostly. Its called the Katie Trail.
And then you could visit me, Fugu, and hit Kansas City for Caleb.
Posted by msquared (Member # 4484) on :
Well my boy is 5'8" 140lbs and was almost a black belt. I think he can take care of himself with some worn out bicyclist.
msquared
Posted by fugu13 (Member # 2859) on :
Yeah, stop in Saint Louis. We'll ply you with beer, or wine if we don't have beer.
Posted by David Bowles (Member # 1021) on :
No, stay out of the South. All us racist got problems with you Spanish types.
Seriously, though, it's too bad you can't come this far south... I'd take you to get some awesome food right across the river.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
You know, every time I see this thread, I get the incredible urge to write a little sprite-based video game in which the player has to direct Eddie on his bicycle -- with optional Irami hotseat action -- across the United States, kind of like an Oregon Trail with plastic water bottles and the occasional hoochie. Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
Eddie has dysentry.
Irami has died.
A traveler has offered a Bud Light in exchange for your handlebar tassels. Would you like to trade?
Posted by @Ease (Member # 3066) on :
are those tassles attached to pink pasties?
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
quote: Eddie has dysentry.
Irami has died.
A traveler has offered a Bud Light in exchange for your handlebar tassels. Would you like to trade?
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