Ahhhhh, thank you. My son keeps trying for these and not getting the point. This will help!
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Telling knock-knock jokes that he/she has made up and/or misinterpreted is a normal stage of child development. (At least, all the kids I know well have gone through it.)
It will gradually lead into telling groaner knock-knocks soon enough, without outside assistance. Do you really want to accelerate the process? Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Since I've been enduring nonsensical ones for three years, yes!
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Hmm. *ponders*
*ponders some more*
I still can't decide if non-nonsensical ones are actually any better . . . Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Oh well - I suppose they still make earplugs . . . Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Just remember, the correct response is a vacuous grin and nodding.
Groans and/or moans will merely encourage the perpetrator, and may induce giggling. Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
Knock, knock. Who's there? Euripides. Euripides, who? Euripides pants, I breaka you face.
Posted by jexx (Member # 3450) on :
Oh man, I am so glad there is a child-friendly joke thread. Christopher is telling me nonfunny jokes right now and I have to pretend they are funny. I need to teach him these!
Example of Christopher's jokes from this morning:
Q: Why did the pickle go into the haunted house?
A: Because he went up the stairs and fell down the stairs and hit his head and he was scared and went to his mommy and she told him there's no such thing as ghosts and then they had lunch together and they had cheeseburgers with no pickle ...because that would be gross!... and they took a nap together because they love each other...hahahahahaha
I'm sure there is the germ of a joke in there that he heard somewhere. I can *almost* get this joke (also told this morning):
Q: Why do dogs have different colors?
A: Because they have pants! hahahahaha
I love my kid, but he needs to learn how to tell a joke. He can almost tell this one that I taught him:
Q: Why is six afraid of seven?
A: Because 7 8 9! (read it out loud)
He forgets which numbers go where. Hehe. Of course, he is only five. I have hope for him!
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Rosie O'Donnel (sp?) used to do a routine based on her little brother's jokes that sounded a lot like that. Too cute.
knock knock Who's there? Wonder Wonder who Wonder who came up with knock knock jokes.
Knock knock Who's there? Where?
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Bless you all! The only joke I know is this:
Q: What did the dirt say to the rain?
A: Because of you, my name is mud.
That's it. Nothing more. I am pathetic. (Groans and lowers head in mock dismay.)
Once again, Hatrack has saved the day! Yeah!
Posted by Speed (Member # 5162) on :
I love kid jokes. So far, the "hippo clips his toenails" and "dogs with pants" jokes have been the best of the thread.
I used to teach at an after school program with kids in the first through third grades. One day I started telling "yo mama" jokes. One kid particularly thought they were just hysterical, but he couldn't quite understand the format. He'd always respond to my jokes with long rambling stories about how my mom went to K-mart and picked up hotdogs and ran over a dog or something, and they would build in intensity for several minutes until they would inevitably end with my mother EXPLODING!! I wish I'd had a tape recorder. They were hilarious.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
My youngest nephew went through a period where he would try to tell a joke and when it wasn't working, he'd just go off on this rambling tangent that would eventually work its way around to "sprinklers." And he would keep it up until we all laughed. I really enjoyed it -- comic punishment -- but his parents had had enough after a few months.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
My own personal joke from that stage.
There's a horse on the roof!!!!
<hysterical laughter>
I still say my parents don't show the proper appreciation of the ironic rediculous that they should, because they never got it.
AJ
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Speaking of Knock-Knock Jokes, here is a scene cut out from Return of the King, that I expect to make it into the DVD-EE:
Prior to the battle before the Black Gate of Mordor, the fellowship, minus Frodo, Sam, and Boromir, ride forward.
Cut:
Insert not found in film:
Gandalf takes his staff and bangs twice upon the gate. Each bang is a loud echoing knock.
"Who is there?" says this deep bass voice that vibrates the very rocks of Mordor.
Closeup of Gandalf's face. He smiles. "Banana" he answers.
Confused the sinister voice responds, "Banana? Banana who?".
Gadalf knocks twice more--Bang, Bang.
"Who is there?" "Banana" yells Pippin, always one to cause trouble. "Banana Who?"
For a third time, Boom, Boom goes the staff knocking on the door.
"Who is there!!!" demands the evil mouth of Sauron.
"Banana!" sings Legolas, stifling a laugh.
"Who is this Banana!" The evil voice is not happy.
BOOOOM. BOOOM the staff knocks.
The evil voice is now filled with riotous anger, "WHO IS THERE!!!" Rocks on the summits fall crashing to the ground at the sound of this shout.
Gandalph make a signal for silence from his companions. "Orange!" he declares.
"Now its Orange? Orange Who?" the Mouth of Sauron demands.
"Orange you glad I didn't say Banana?" says Gandalf as our hero's start giggling.
It is this bad joke that drives the Army of Sauron to attack.
Can you blame them?
Posted by Tresopax (Member # 1063) on :
Why do elephants eat hay? 'Cause there hungry!
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
This makes me think of those times when you're sitting around the dinner table, and suddenly someone says something only moderately funny, and the entire table is reduced to hysterical giggling, to the point that no one can breathe and you're all glad you didn't have food in your mouth, or if you did, it got spit out across the table.
My mom lives with us, and one night she was relating the not-very-interesting tale of preparing dinner. She started to say, "I started to open a can of--" and I couldn't help myself...I interupted her.
"Whoop-ass."
We all started laughing. It wasn't that funny, but it was unexpected. When we calmed down a little, Mom set us off again with her reply,
"Well, let's hope that's not in my arsenal."
I fell apart at the obviously unintended pun. She sat there, confused over why I was laughing so hard. Then she figured it out.
And the laughter didn't stop until dessert.
I love those times. Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
The interrupting starfish one is funny. We had cracks at xmas when I went to someone's house and one joke was Why is an elephant big and grey and rough. If it were small, white, and smooth it would be an asprin!
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
This deserved bumpage . . . especially since my darling angel now checks out books on knock knock jokes.
*groans*
Posted by HesterGray (Member # 7384) on :
Dagonee, you forgot the last two of the Ether bunnies!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo beep-beep and run over all the Ether bunnies.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry. All the Ether bunnies will be back next year.
I love horrible, funny jokes, especially when I haven't heard them before, like many of these on this thread. Interrupting starfish is histerical!
Here's a couple bad ones:
What has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill you? A pool table.
How did the crazy person get through the woods? He took the psycho-path.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Knock, knock. Who's there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it's cold out here!
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
*remembers to tap into this thread for some future Cub Scout Pack Meeting*
Posted by LadyDove (Member # 3000) on :
My youngest is a born comedian, at six, his genius is in his subtlety.
Some of these had me rolling!
Posted by Olivetta (Member # 6456) on :
Here's one my seven-year-old loves:
What do you call a gorilla in the Arctic?
A. Lost.
My five-year-old's jokes all seem to end with "poopy".
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
We had one of those times last night in the car, jeniwren.
Emily was asking if I'd help her with her math, because they're doing money and she said it was hard. She said "I don't want to get bad grades."
So then Daniel pipes up "Bad grapes? What are bad grapes?"
The girls laughed and I said "The bad grapes are the ones that get dried out and made into raisins. Otherwise known as the Grapes of Wrath."
The older girls dissolve into giggles. But Abigail starts crying. I asked her what was wrong and she said "Why is Emily going to turn into a raisin for bad grades?"
So we explained the misunderstanding to her. Then she said, accusingly "You scared me Mama." I said I was sorry, I didn't mean to scare her, I was just trying to be funny. Then she says "Well, it wasn't even funny either."
That got the whole car laughing and it didn't stop until we got home.
And she's right - none of it was actually all that funny. Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
I'm so glad I have several years before Emma gets into that stage.
Posted by JemmyGrove (Member # 6707) on :
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? 'Cause it was dead.
Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? 'Cause it was stapled to the monkey.
They're probably not quite kid jokes, but they've been favorites in our household for years.
And for kicks:
A conversation between two atoms:
"Hey, I think I'm missing an electron."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive!"
Posted by HesterGray (Member # 7384) on :
Hey, JemmyGrove, why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure!
Edit: I didn't notice that the second one said "parrot." The way I heard it, it was three jokes, three monkeys.
[ March 09, 2005, 09:41 PM: Message edited by: HesterGray ]
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
The "Ether Bunny" and "Cargo" jokes got full marks from the lad today. Although, (and this is both sweet AND frightening in its' utter PC'ness), he re-worked the "cargo" to where the ether bunnies wave bye-bye rather than get run over.
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