Hatrack River Forum: Just call me Miss Malaprop

This is topic Just call me Miss Malaprop in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.

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Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :

So, here's my most recent embarrassing revelation:

There is no such word as "assertation." I've used it in at least 3 papers this semester, feeling really self-righteous that I used a word too complex for the spell checker.

Except, um... hello Annie! Did you mean assertion?

Oh. Right. Yeah.

This is even worse than the time I used esoteric and ephemeral for months in places where I meant to say ethereal. Whoops. Esoteric isn't even vaguely related in meaning to things that are vague and gauzy and ethereal. I guess I got confused because I wasn't in that select group of elites that gets to use words like esoteric [Wink]

What stupid language mistakes have you made?

[ February 18, 2004, 11:39 PM: Message edited by: Annie ]

Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :

Oh, and I also thought that the adjective form of serendipity should be serendipitious, which I pronounced ser-en-di-PI-shus, when serendipitous (ser-en-DI-pi-tuss) worked perfectly well for Merrian Webster. Who'd have thunk?

Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :

Just typing is an excersice in humility for me.

Hobbes [Smile]

Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :

Hobbes is a lucky, lucky, lucky man.

Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :

quote:
What stupid language mistakes have you made?

The last one I can think of is using "tantamount" to mean "paramount." At some level, I knew that "tantamount" meant something else, but I didn't really think about it before using it on my web site. I had to have it pointed out to me by an engineer.

*hangs head in shame*

Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :

True.

Or as I would say:

code:

//Begin code segment
Statment TaalconsStatment (AbovePost->AbovePost);
bool TaalconStatmentTrue = (TaalconStatment.checkVeracity () > 0) ? true:false;
cout << (TaalconsStatmentTrue) ? "True":"False" << endl;
//End code segment

Output:
True

[EDIT: Jon Boy's post popped in and I had to correct the code for it, assume that whatever type of class AbovePost is has a pointer to the post above it (assuming Annie's post would have that value NULL).]

Hobbes [Smile]

[ February 18, 2004, 11:47 PM: Message edited by: Hobbes ]

Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :

:blush:

Posted by Brinestone (Member # 5755) on :

I tend to pronounce words terribly wrong. For instance, for years I said "an-TESS-i-dent" for "antecedent." Rhymes with precedent. I think this is because I read more than I talked when I was younger and picking up words like crazy.

Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :

Annie, the real question is, did anyone call you on your malapropisms?

Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :

No one. Though in one of those papers I decided to use the British spellings of everything and the professor marked every single one wrong. I can't decide if he was trying to be funny. You'd think using the word colour 27 times would be intentional. But he still made no assertations about my blantant misaprobations of words.

And P.S. Hobbes - you are not allowed to turn my self-depreciating threads into complements. [Wink]

Posted by JonnyNotSoBravo (Member # 5715) on :

Your last two sentences were incredibly funny. Thank you!

Posted by ak (Member # 90) on :

Yes, people who read a lot tend to know a word so well they forget that they've never actually heard it pronounced. I've done this too. I still much prefer my ludicrously wrong pronunciation of apoptosis as "AY-pop-TOE-sis", (because, of course, the cells pop), over the correct "A-po-TOE-sis" with a silent 'p' at the start of '-ptosis'. [Smile]

My little brother who reads like crazy used to do this so much we teased him a lot and he got furious at me one memorable time and said, "Why must you always ridicule me?" pronouncing it "re-DICK-el". Poor kid, he got reDICKled about that too, it was too classic! Another time when he had typed and erased and cursed and reerased and retyped an envelope for about half an hour with his manual typewriter, I asked him what he was sending off for anyway and he said, "A typewriter eraser". [ROFL]

I'm not making these up!

Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :

Apoptosis is pronounced like that?? [Confused]

Who knew?

I read a lot when I was in my formative word-learning stage too, in case you can't tell... [Blushing]

Posted by Sachiko (Member # 6139) on :

When I was 6 and reading Encyclopedia Brown mysteries, I always prounounced it "en-ky-klo-pee-dee-uh".

And imagine my red cheeks when, in a college political science lecture, I finally realized that annihilation and "anna-hilly-a-shun" were actually the same thing. I audibly smacked my forehead.

Boy, as if I didn't already feel stupid around here. [Smile]

Posted by HollowEarth (Member # 2586) on :

the only gaff i seem to make all the time is using 'maybe' for 'may be'.

Posted by John L (Member # 6005) on :

You know, I find this stuff incredibly... interesting. I know a phD in history (European, not my cup-o-tea), and I've heard him say "CHAY-oss" multiple times.

As someone who talks far more than he reads, I find this astounding.

Posted by fiazko (Member # 5812) on :

This isn't mine, but it's something a friend says that I've repeatedly corrected, but he refuses to change. He says "prequisite" (PREH-kwi-zit) instead of "prerequisite" (pree-REH-kwi-zit). Drives me crazy. Me, I try not to use words unless I'm sure what they mean. I guess I do have my own example. I thought the word "awry" was pronounced AH-ree.

Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :

For the longest time I pronounced 'Lucivious' as 'Loo-vi-shuss' instead of the correct 'loo-siv-ee-us'.

*sigh*

Posted by fugu13 (Member # 2859) on :

Ummm . . .

Posted by JonnyNotSoBravo (Member # 5715) on :

I'm not sure, but I think 'lucivious' is not a word. 'Lascivious' is.

Posted by JonnyNotSoBravo (Member # 5715) on :

...or was that a big joke and I just messed it up?

*conveniently handing Taalcon a way out of the situation*

Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :

Yes... yes that's EXACTLY what I meant... a joke, yes.

[Angst]

:quickly takes the proferred 'way out', with much thanks to Johnny:

Posted by MoonRabbit (Member # 3652) on :

I remember as a kid a friend of mine and I used to buy Wacky Packages stickers. I remember one that was a spoof of Kiwi Black shoe polish, Piwi Bleeach. (with picture of barfing pygmies). My friend insisted it was pronounced pie-why bleach. He was pretty dumb.

Another time we were looking at a National Geographic about carnivorous (oops, I mean insectivorous) plants. The photo showed a pitcher plant with the caption "Maw agape, the pitcher plant awaits its prey." He read it as "Mow ah-gah-pay". claimed it referred to loving your mother. Did I mention he was dumb?

[Smile]

Posted by Sachiko (Member # 6139) on :

That reminds me of a guy I was on a double date with once.

We were at a video rental store and were looking at the cover for Full Metal Jacket .

Trying to impress my friend, he puffed up and said, "Oh, yeah, I've worn that."

My brother is a physicist and one of his pet peeves is people who say "nuke-you-lar" instead of "noo-kleer".

Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :

Now I want to hear what your reaction was!

Hobbes [Smile]

Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :

But Annie, he can't help but complement you - you shore each other up. [Smile]

Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :

Ok.

I pronounced 'pithy' with a long 'I' sound and a voiced 'th'...like it was in the middle of the word 'tithing.' Yeah. I did it in the presence of my brilliant friend and he almost snorted whatever liquid he was drinking up his nose as he choked out "How did you just pronounce that?"

[Blushing]

I blamed it on being raised in the midwest, when actually it was a result of what Brinestone was talking about. Another one of these results was the fact that I didn't know how to pronounce 'poingant' for years and I would use it in my writing all the time...and not be able to say it out loud.

:blushes again:

[Laugh]

at Annie and her 'self-depreciating' posts.

Posted by Sachiko (Member # 6139) on :

Oh! I just thought of another.

I'm told I pronouce wolf "woof".

I was the Assistant Woof Leader at church for the past year. *sigh* My bishop and his wacky sense of humor.

Posted by aspectre (Member # 2222) on :

agape, full metal jacket, etc.

Never assume that you aren't having your leg pulled. Some of us have an odd sense of humor.

I'm hungry.
Hi, hungry. I'm aspectre.

Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :

Martyr is NOT pronounced MATT-ire. Who knew?

Posted by knightswhosayni! (Member # 4096) on :

I now refuse to pronounce escape any other way than es-CAP-ay. It's just funny.

Or i think so, anyway.

Ni!

Posted by reader (Member # 3888) on :

Throughout my high school years, I was constantly discovering new words that I had been pronouncing incorrectly, because my reading vocabulary had always been far larger than my "hearing" vocabulary.

I didn't discover that colonel was pronounced "kernel" until late high school - and I STILL pronounce it incorrectly in my thoughts, though not out loud.

For the longest time, I thought that "indict" was pronounced "indikt," and I thought that "indict" - pronounced correctly - was another word altogether. I still occasionally pronounce this incorrectly in my thoughts, though the frequency at which this happens is decreasing, because "indict" is actually a word that I hear fairly often.

There are dozens more, but I'm drawing a blank.

I am still discovering words which I pronounce incorrectly, to the extent that the correct pronunciation of a word is something that I am very reluctant to argue about, even if I am 99.9% sure I am correct.

Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :

I have always had the problem of reading words long before I ever heard them in conversation.. I've never met anyone else who did that and had the resulting mispronunciation - 'till now!

Ah, acceptance at Hatrack.

I still pronounce steak 'steek' (as in to rhyme with meek). I have to mentally practice in my head 'sounds like stake' to get it right.

I also got confused when I was about 3 and read the word "milk" for the first time. Although I *knew* it how it sounded, once I saw the letters I couldn't help saying it miLLUK.

What else? Heinous. I always get that wrong. In fact, I'm still not sure how to pronounce it.

There's a lot more - the funny thing is, I now do a lot of public speaking and law mooting: my team mates just get used to it. They correct me in the practise rounds, and just try not to laugh if I do it in competition.

[Edit: I did that with indict as well! [Smile]

]

[ February 19, 2004, 03:40 AM: Message edited by: imogen ]

Posted by ak (Member # 90) on :

I remembered another one! Giblets! I have used a hard 'g' at the start of that word forever! I mean it's something I've encountered quite a bit in my catfeeding life of several decades' duration. I guess I only discussed it with the cats, or something, who never seemed to mind how I pronounced it. When I looked it up, that's not even listed as an alternate pronunciation or anything at all! Who knows how I got started saying it like that? Most likely just from reading it off the can in 1970 or some time. <laughs>

Posted by Brinestone (Member # 5755) on :

Where are you originally from, Sachiko? Much of Northern Maryland and Pennsylvania (and other parts of the East?) say "woof" instead of "wolf." So it may not just be you, and it probably isn't your fault. [Smile]

[ February 19, 2004, 09:30 AM: Message edited by: Brinestone ]

Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :

When I was in high school calculus, I actually pronounced the word "asymptote" as "a-SIMP-toe-tee."

Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :

my stepfather says "woof" and any number of other silly central pa things.

i have the same problem with the reading vocabulary being larger than the speaking one. i also can't spell, so i look like just as much of an idiot using a big word over aim as i would trying to pronounce it irl.

(i still pronounce things way better than hobbes. wire-ums comes to mind....)

Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :

quote:
This is even worse than the time I used esoteric and ephemeral for months in places where I meant to say ethereal

This is far, far better than the woman who tried to help us in the store by discribing a CD for us as "Lovely and very Urethral."

quote:
I still pronounce steak 'steek' (as in to rhyme with meek). I have to mentally practice in my head 'sounds like stake' to get it right

Don't you mean "stike"? [ROFL]

You have to forgive me folks. Against my better judgment I have eaten chocolate cake for breakfast.

Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :

Apoptosis is pronounced like that? Wow... every prof I've ever talked to is wrong. As are all my coworkers in the cell culture labs at my various places of employment.
Hmm... in light of my experiences I'm going to claim the pronunciation AY-pop-TOE-sis in the name of England (and, by extension, Canada).

Oh, and the cells don't pop, they wither.

Posted by MoonRabbit (Member # 3652) on :

Don't forget Yo-suh-might National Park.

Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :

The word that got me -- for YEARS -- was "segue."

Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :

I used to feel really superior whenever I would hear anyone use the word "preventative." It sounds completely wrong to me. It should be "preventive."

Then I found "preventative" in my dictionary as an acceptable alternative.

Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :

A word I hate: "chiropractic," when used as "doctor of chiropractic" or "clinic of chiropractic."

The word violates my inner sense of grammar decorum. It should CLEARLY be "chiropractice," and "chiropractic" should be its ADJECTIVE.

Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :

Me too, Tom! I always thought "segue" was pronounced "seg," meaning that the real pronunciation was was spelled "segueway."

My history professor pronounces some things very strangely. He pronounced "cacao" as "KAY-ko." He also pronounces "literature" as "LID-a-ture." That one drives me nuts. There are more, but I think I've blocked them out. Then there was the guest lecturer who came to talk about the French Revolution and pronounced "Jacobin" as "YAH-co-bin." Maybe there's something wrong with history people.

Edit: "Chiropractic" as a noun has always felt wrong to me, too.

[ February 19, 2004, 11:19 AM: Message edited by: Jon Boy ]

Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :

Sadly, I think I've done ALL of these!

I used to try words out on my mom -- she's pretty good about repressing her snickers while asking, "Did you mean _________?" Now I check pronunciation with the online dictionaries that will say the word to you. [Smile]

Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :

My most memorable one, was when I apparently created the word "consequate," which would define as "to assign consequences to a specific behavior.")

As some of you know, I am a "recovering Behaviorist." [Wink]

The word makes sense to me - it should exist. I think I figured out why it doesn't. Behaviorists didn't want to go around sounding like Elmer Fudd trying to say "consecrate." [Smile]

Like some others have reported, I mispronounced many words as a kid due to having a reading vocabulary that was way beyond the spoken vocabulary around me. Fortunately, in most cases, it was my parents who first heard the mispronunciation and minimized the embarrassment. Most of the time.

[ February 19, 2004, 12:37 PM: Message edited by: sndrake ]

Posted by ak (Member # 90) on :

I pronounce dysentery "DIS-en-tree" like an Americanized version of the British pronunciation. (I think the correct American pronunciation is "DIS-en-TARE-ee", isn't it?) I think that's because I must have first heard about it on BBC shows involving Brits in tropical places.

Posted by MidnightBlue (Member # 6146) on :

I mispronounce everything! The best example I can think of right now is omnipotent. We were learning it as one of our vocab words last year, and I couldn't figure out why everyone (including the teacher) were pronouncing it funny. Then I realized that it isn't pronounced OM-ni-PO-tent. [Blushing]

Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :

Oddly, it probably SHOULD be pronounced "OM-ni-PO-tent."

Posted by lcarus (Member # 4395) on :

ann hilly ate

horz devorz

colonel

coronet (?)

SaL mon

And countless more that I can't think of now. Same reason as everybody else.

If it's any consolation, most average people can't spell the words that we could not pronounce.

Posted by peterh (Member # 5208) on :

Narnia reminded me of my LDS Missionary Training Center experience.

Missionaries share the experience of Joseph Smith and his struggles with organized religions of his day. They quoute him from his history as saying, regarding these churches, "though my feelings were deep and often poignant, still I kept myself aloof..."

I taught at the MTC for 2 years and made it a point the very first class I taught where this quote was used to share the correct pronunciation of "poignant". There is nothing worse that hearing that silent "g", so I just started sharing with everyone the correct way to pronounce it. I'd even make the classes repeat it back so I knew they'd gotten it straight.

Posted by Da_Goat (Member # 5529) on :

In fourth or fifth grade, I believe, I asked my teacher if she had any suppository reading assignments (as opposed to "supplementary reading assignments"). I got a weird look, but I thought it was just because she thought I had an impressive vocabulary. [Roll Eyes]

[ February 19, 2004, 03:31 PM: Message edited by: Da_Goat ]

Posted by Rhaegar The Fool (Member # 5811) on :

I called my mom dad.

Posted by lcarus (Member # 4395) on :

All the time?

Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :

My neices and nephews have each called my wife Uncle Cindy at one point or other.

That's not as bad as her Grandmother mixing her name up with the name of their dog.

My worst mistake, I ran a spell checker on a proposal I was making to Chrysler. It autocorrected my mistakes.

My boss stopped me before I walked out the door with a proposal for "The Chisler Corporation."

Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :

I worked for an ambulance company that also ran an "invalid van service." I was always offended by the thought of calling people in wheelchairs
in-VA'-lid.

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :

quote:
horz devorz

It was only last year when I figured out hors d'oeuvres ('or derves') and what I pronounced as 'horz doovres' where the same thing, even though I knew that they referred to the same thing.

*sigh*

Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :

Scarey story of possible genetic problems in my family.

My brother worked for Wal-Mart.

no, that's not the problem.

One day he walked past the guy who was displaying the V-8 Juice. My brother noticed all the vegetables on the can. He started a conversation with, "Hey, how many different vegetables are in this stuff."

The guy looked up at him strangely. "Uh, 8"

My brother laughed, "Wow, what a coincidence. You guys should use that in your marketing. You know--8 Veggies in your V-8"

Much to the relief of the V-8 Rep, my brother walked off.

Only later did he realize his blunder (V-8 got its whole name from 8 Vegetables).

That is not the scarey part.

The scarey part, that points to possible DNA damage in such a close relative, is this: TO THIS DAY HE LOVES TO TELL THIS STORY.

Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :

Dan... [ROFL]

Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :

It isn't a word kerfuffle, but in the spirit of things I should have realized long ago, I present the following nuggets of information obtained in the last week:

1. The purpose of a secret admirer is for the person recieving the presents to try and figure out who the admirer is.

2. Saturday Night Live is broadcast...live.

Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :

quote:
I was always offended by the thought of calling people in wheelchairs
in-VA'-lid.

All of my friends and acquaintances who use wheelchairs are really politically active. No surprise then, that not one of the chair users I know likes "invalid" applied to them, no matter how it's pronounced. [Wink]

Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :

quote:
Saturday Night Live is broadcast...live.

Not here, it's not.

Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :

quote:
Me too, Tom! I always thought "segue" was pronounced "seg," meaning that the real pronunciation was was spelled "segueway."

WHOA! Segue is pronounced segway? AHHHHH! My life has been a lie! [Angst]

I just thought.. Segue (seg) Segway (another word) My life has been a lie!! Next you're going to tell me fugue is pronounced fyoogway!! (checks dictionary.com)

(sigh of relief)

Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :

That is indeed one of the weirder pronunciations. It wouldn't even make sense from the french. Unless, of course, the french spelled it segué...

...oh, but look, it's not french! It's Italian!

quote:
Etymology: Italian, there follows, from seguire to follow, from Latin sequi

Ah. I can now sleep a little sounder.

Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :

Hence, "sequence."

*loves Latin*

Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :

Latin lover...

Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Posted by MidnightBlue (Member # 6146) on :

quote:
My brother worked for Wal-Mart.

no, that's not the problem.

You sure?

[ February 20, 2004, 12:52 PM: Message edited by: MidnightBlue ]

Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :

I'm bumping this after the foh pah (faux pas) I committed last night I committed while on AIM with katharina.

rederic

I knew exactly what I meant. I don't know if I've ever actually typed it before or had truly connected the two words together.

rederic = rhetoric

at least I think!

AJ

I'm also reminded when I made the sweeping exclamation "Vi-o-LA" and had my mother nearly colappse in stitches of laughter.

How was I supposed to know that "Viola" = Vwah la?

[ March 03, 2004, 12:46 PM: Message edited by: BannaOj ]

Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :

That was hilarious.

Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :

Have you ever heard anyone pronounce rhetoric like rhetorical minus the -al? Pretty amusing.

And my brother one-upped you on voila, AJ - he once said "VOY-la!"

Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :

I googled for "skillery" to see if my name meant anything other than a name for a fictitious alligator and found a Wake Forest University tribute to the legendaryDoctor Tom Jeffries.

He conjures up some mighty powerful words in his speech, but my favorite is “magnolius” instead of “magnanimous;” kind of like Mother Teresa, but with flowers.

Wish I could have lived back in the days of Doctor Tom. What beautiful speech they had back in the days before television and radio homogenized our language.