Might be too personal a question for some--sorry. Talking about the Asimov magazine and youth being exposed to sex made me think of it.
I don't remember how old I was, but for me it was reading a book from the school library about walruses. Yes, WALRUSES. I had been vaguely aware of sexual things before that, but it was reading this book that the whole Tab A into Slot B epiphany happened. Can you imagine me, this mostly innocent young girl having her first impression of sexual intercourse being walruses humping?
I seem to remember not long after that my mom wanted to have "The Talk" with me. I caught the scent of it and avoided her like the plague. I was in no mood to talk about it! If I remember correctly, we never did have "The Talk". Fortunately, I got over it. Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
Osmosis... Eventually I learned that a + b leads to C and also my father and stepmother told me, but I already knew Posted by digging_holes (Member # 6237) on :
Well, my parents were Christians, and they would read the bible to me all the time, so naturally whenever they came to the parts where it says "So-and-so had sexual relations with his wife", i asked them what that meant. For a long time I got nothing but vague non-answers, until one day I nagged them enough that my mom bought a book explaining the whole process and read it to me. I remember being a bit disappointed at the time, I thought it would be something much more interesting and mysterious... heh heh.
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
From sci fi books. Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
What about them? They both fly but only one stings.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Yes, mack, but bees produce HONEY.
And stings can be avoided.
I'll take honey over birdpoop any day.
Posted by Kama (Member # 3022) on :
I hate bees.
No, wait. Actually, I hate wasps.
Bees are okay, provided I stay way from beehives.
Posted by plaid (Member # 2393) on :
Sex ed class in 4th grade. School nurse pulled 10 of us at a time (boys and girls) out of recess for a week. Good class -- straightforward info given with humor. Most of us said "ewww" and happily went back to being kids for a few more years.
(Had another sex ed class in 6th grade. That one was embarassing -- our social science teacher gave it to a class of 25 of us -- kids making lots of dumb jokes and getting the teacher annoyed... the 4th grade class was way better, that was the better way to do it.)
Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
When I was three, being carried in a buggy and minding my own business, a bird flying overhead pooped on me. It was a life-changing experience - the start of that growing feeling that no place was really safe.
I didn't learn about bees until two years later, when one flew into the corner of my eye, apparently stinger-first.
Great topic! Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
wasps are the worse. evil things I learned about certain biolgical processes in two places in two ways in the south they separated us, gave us pamphlets and showed us a video saying, it will happen to you! But they didn't separate us in NY even though they gave us the same pamphlets until the last part of the presentation. then in &th grade we got the explanation again, only separate from the boys again... Posted by lcarus (Member # 4395) on :
I hate birds and bees.
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
^ | | | | Crotchety
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
I skipped &th grade.
Too smart, said they.
Posted by Yozhik (Member # 89) on :
Encyclopedia.
Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
quote:I hate birds and bees.
For once, I'm with you Ick.
One of them poops on your car - and even on your person if you're not constantly scanning the heavens.
And the insect is responsible for me not wanting to go barefoot in grassy areas.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Ticks make me not want to go barefoot in grassy areas. o_O
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
Horse Flies are scarier than bird, bees and wasps combined. Once they lock onto you, they *will* hunt you down until they sting you.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Horse fly bites friggin HURT.
Scorpions. Ew. ew ew ew ew.
I once lived in a house infested with them.
Posted by Rohan (Member # 5141) on :
" Ah, it's a beautiful day, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, the bees are trying to have sex with them...as is my understanding..."
Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
I just realized that anyone coming into Hatrack for the very first time and reading this thread would reasonably come to the conclusion that some of us sure have a lot of issues, don't we.
Where's that freedom thread? Freedom: the right to have issues.
PS - thanks, Mack - never thought about the blankety-blank ticks and my feet. I already won't go into a wooded area without a hat. Posted by Anti-Chris (Member # 4452) on :
I was 7'ish, I believe, but forgot how I learned.
Posted by hansenj (Member # 4034) on :
I had "the talk" on the way to school one day. I think it was in sixth grade. I didn't have a complete understanding of the concept, and when my mom explained it to me I recall saying, "Eww! People do that?!" Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
Birds do it. Bees do it. Even educated fleas can do it.
Posted by amira tharani (Member # 182) on :
I had a big hardback A-Z of the human body. It took me until I was about 9 to get as far as the reproductive system (that was chapter 10 or 11), but anyways I read that before my mother got the chance to have "the talk" with me. However I don't recall ever finding the idea disgusting. My sister did, though....
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
My mother read us books about it from an early age. So it just kind of grew, starting off vague and then getting more "grown-up."
I don't ever remember being squicked out, just kind of bemused.
Posted by Da_Goat (Member # 5529) on :
My parents were always straight and to the point with me. I don't remember exactly how or when they taught me, but I know I knew about it before I entered kindergarten. Just the basic anatomical mechanics and sacredness of it, though, not the technical things.
And horse flies are the worst. If nothing else, those serve as a perfect example of why New England sucks.
[ February 28, 2004, 05:20 PM: Message edited by: Da_Goat ]
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Black flies?
Posted by graywolfe (Member # 3852) on :
Damn some of those posts were hilarious . I was told by one of the worst individuals possible, a friend and neighbor, back when I was in third grade. The same guy who came up with bizarre, creative insults involving body parts that I had never heard of before and probably shouldn't write about here. Anyway I didn't believe him at first, but he was so bloody insistent and smart that I eventually bought it, though I was still quite disgusted. Just didn't seem right, or sensible to my eight or nine year old mind. Now that guy is serving as a resident at Baylor, who would have guessed he'd become a doctor?
Wasps and bees, damn, I got stung, TWICE, by Wasps this past summer and completely freaked out wondering if my allergy to bee stings would also apply to Wasp stings. Happily it didn't, it just sucked.
I've managed to avoid the bird poop problem, though I had one classic incident in fifth grade, where I had just completed a deal, sending Doritos to Mark for his Twix, and the second he opened the doritos bag, Sea Gull poop dropped right into the middle of it, before he could even turn around and utter a word to me I'd jammed both twix sticks into my mouth. I think I developed my first understanding of Capitalism at that moment . Not my proudest moment, but certainly one of the few things I still remember from fifth grade along with the Challenger blowing up.
Posted by Stan the man (Member # 6249) on :
heh, don't tell my dad, but films of ill repute that I took from his closet. Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
My father had a little pink hardback book of 19th century short erotic stories translated from the French (Baudelaire, Maupassant, Gauthier, etc). I found it in the bottom drawer of his closet, same place he kept the china doll from his grandmother (which I knew I would eventually inherit, but could not wait to play with). What intriguing stories.
This was followed shortly by Fanny Hill, or Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure, found under the next layer of clothes. I never fully recovered.
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
I got the 'Where do I come from?' book when I was about 5 or so. So by the time my brother was born 18 months later, I knew *exactly* what had gone on between my parents!
I wasn't too icked out though - I was more fascinated with the new book I got showing the different stages of baby development. I liked contrasting Mum's stomach with what the book said my little brother looked like inside.
It was a fairly realistic book: the after birth picture was all purply-red and suitably grimy (none of that immaculately clean nonsense). So I was pretty upset that Joe was jaundiced, and came with more of a yellowish tinge to him: I wanted purple!
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Actually, I still haven't learned.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
I've been pooped on by birds on three separate occasions. Fowl creatures!
As for bees, my grandfather was a beekeeper, and -- given enough smoke to whiff around -- I can play with the stuporous fluffies.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
No irreverence inteded, but I found my mom's teaching methods amusing:
When I was 6, she was pregnant with my little sister and we got all kinds of books on how a baby develops with the cool in-utero photography. I was fascinated and had a great time talking to my friends about things like amniotic sacks. It was only after carefully studying the subject that I asked one day "Mom - how does the sperm get from the dad into the mom's uterus?" She told me quite matter-of-factly, "It happens when they're very close together." For years I would watch cuddling couples in fascination, picturing microscopic flying sperm jumping between them.
It was only on the playground in 4th grade that I learned otherwise from my friend Paula. I was so grossed out I refused to believe her. I was much more content believing my mom's half-truth. Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
OK - I can't be the only one thinking this...
What kind of smoke were you and your grandfather whiffing on, CT? Posted by fugu13 (Member # 2859) on :
Smoke makes bees, well, sleepy. Plain old smoke.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote: Encyclopedia.
Yozhik, me too!
Well, that's not precisely true. I was informed by a bunkmate the summer I went to camp. I was horrified and told her she was a liar.
Cut to five weeks later, maybe a day after I got home. It was rather difficult to look things up in the Encyclopedia Britannica, when one volume sent me to another volume, and it used words I needed a dictionary to define . . . eventually, I not only discovered that she'd been right, but many other interesting things.
I found out many years later that my parents had been waiting patiently for ME to ask them questions. Oops.
Posted by Shlomo (Member # 1912) on :
I'm not exactly sure when I learned about sex.
But I have a funny story about my first "date" (using the term loosely).
It was my first year at camp, and everyone in my bunk, if not the entire male population, told me "You're dating X." and seemed to imply "Or off to the guillotine!" I didn't really care either way...I was going into 8th grade, and, though well into puberty, didn't really care. Oh wait. Some people tell me I'm in college now, and I still don't really care either way. But anyways, I sort of went on the date to humor them, and it...um....didn't work too well. And then I got mad at them for dragging me into it in the first place, and it was all a big mess...oh yeah, and my camp is cool.
Posted by porcelain girl (Member # 1080) on :
i don't remember when i first had the tab+slot epiphany, but i do remember that girls camp and sleepovers were when we would all look forward to that time between sunrise and sunset when we'd all exchange what new information we'd procured on the subject.
Posted by Anti-Chris (Member # 4452) on :
Thinking about it, it was my neighbor friend that taught me what he knew (1st or second grade). Combine that with TV. Luckily, I've never had to have 'the talk' one on one with an adult.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Alia Brost, fourth grade.
This girl was all drama, and she needed a sidekick. She was so boy-crazy her parents put in an all-girl Catholic school for fifth grade, but over the course of fourth grade, she managed to "date" half the boys in our class, including my two-years-already crush, tell a series of dirty jokes to me she then needed to explain, and kiss-ambush my older brother. She told me once, in a conspiratorial whisper, that she had started her period, and I didn't have the foggiest idea what she was talking about. Just like in "Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret.", the precocious kid was practically a pathological liar. What Alia left out, I filled in with encyclepedias.
Posted by Hi (Member # 5289) on :
I had a vague idea before but it was not until seventh grade, Health and safety class, that my questions were answered.
*Scratches head* I actually was not aware until last summer that babies came out from "there" as opposed to being concieved as Otis- of the Milo and Otis fame was- from the bum.
Before seventh grade, I theorized about the tab+slot concept but I- ahem... I had the wrong slot. Posted by lcarus (Member # 4395) on :
Posted by Phanto (Member # 5897) on :
It was a long struggle. It all started on a "regular" day back in fourth grade. I was reading the Encylopida when several men armed with guns ran into the room! They kicked the book out of my hands, and, without a single word more, they ran out of there!
I was spooked. But I had to find out the truth. So I went to the library--only to find all copies of the Encylo- gone! Obviously something terribly odd was going on.
The mystery thickened when I came back home. All the dictionaries in my house were gone.
What did I do...?
Well, I took out my atomic rubber band shooter, then aimed it at--ooops?! Look at the time. I've gotta go. More later.
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
Hi & Phanto: Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
By the age of seven, I was reading the adult section of the library. I can actually remember being confused by the story of Tristan chasing his love, who had been turned into a "white hind," and wondering if this was going to be one of THOSE kind of books. *wry laugh*
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
My parents bought a great book about the human body. There was a secion on each system -- skeletel, muscular, nervous, reproductive, etc.. I loved that book. A couple of weeks went by, and my father came and asked enough questions to know that I understood what sex was. That was it.
We were not a very open and communicative family. Something that drives my wife crazy...
Posted by Anti-Chris (Member # 4452) on :
Well, least he asked you questions at all.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
I was watching a commercial for feminine products and asked what they were for. (Previously I had been told they were "airplane stickers".) My mother then proceeded to give me a two-hour lecture including everything she could think of on the subject, including diagrams she drew herself on paper napkins. She left out a couple of really important things, for example...she told me men wanted to reproduce because if they didn't, their "things" would just keep bothering them. (Actually, I believe she said "hurting" them.) That didn't explain anything about why WOMEN would let men anywhere near them. She said nothing about good feelings. (Probably didn't want to make it sound too interesting.) Plus she didn't explain the, um...function of the male very well. After the talk was done, I got a good idea that men walked around always physically ready for sex.
I wasn't grossed out or embarrassed at all, I don't think. But I probably had a million questions.
Of course, I learned all the really important things from friends and TV afterwards.
Posted by virtualron (Member # 6226) on :
I'm still WAITING for someone to give me the talk about "The Birds and the Bees"... I don't know WHAT the heck I'm doing... Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
You should know a lot more just from this thread.
Posted by virtualron (Member # 6226) on :
you would THINK, wouldn't you...
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
quote:I've been pooped on by birds on three separate occasions. Fowl creatures!
My parents got me a book from the library and read through it with me when I was 3 or 4. I remember little pictures of sperm wearing top hats and white gloves, and carrying little canes. They were quite dapper, as I remember them.
Then, when I was about 8 or so I found my parents' copy of The Joy of Sex in the bottom of my dad's underwear drawer, and filled in any blanks they might have left out.
As for bees, I always liked bees. When I was a kid I used to set out plates of Dr. Pepper for them (bees, having good sense, love Dr. Pepper), and would often go around collecting them, letting them crawl around on me. I've never been stung by a bee. Or a wasp, for that matter, but wasps have always struck me as being fairly malevolent, so I've always given them a wide berth.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
My sister-in-law (six) is like that, Noemon. She is one with the bugs. She's really allergic to ants, so instead of avoiding them, she learned how to pick them up without hurting them, and without letting them bite her...it's pretty amazing. She kept a pet praying mantis for a long time (until I killed it... ) and would feed it garden insects. She would catch bees and wasps herself without getting stung. Once she caught a huge, gorgeous butterfly and ran around saying, "Look at my beautiful butterfly! Let's feed it to the praying mantis!" It's really amazing to watch. She is an awesome kid.
add: And I love Dr. Pepper too...I must be a bee.
[ March 01, 2004, 11:10 AM: Message edited by: PSI Teleport ]
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
It depends on which part of "birds and bees" you are talking about.
If you just mean the female cycle & reproductive system, we had this nice little film in junior high that explained it all (thank goodness -- like two weeks before I started, and no one else had explained anything to me!)
If you are talking about sex -- living on a farm I think my family just assumed I understood all about that -- after all, I could see farm animals, uh, mating. (Didn't realize we don't necessarily use their same position). But on the human level, well, that was kind of a "learn as you go" thing for me -- taught by my first boyfriend <GRIN>. I was really pretty naive'. My household didn't talk about it.
In fact, once in church I remember asking my grandmother what the word "circumcision" was when the preacher said it. She was mortified and just said "Shush! I'll explain later!" But she never did.
Farmgirl
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
I remember in fifth grade, they separated all the 5th grade boys from the girls, and took us to separate places. They showed us boys some stupid film that had nothing to do with anything while they gave the girls "The Talk." Us boys had no idea what was going on. Afterwards, all of the girls had these pamplets that they wouldn't show us, and they were all giggling.
Us boys didn't get the talk until the next year from our gym coach. It was just like the same scene in Wonder Years. A very surreal expereince, having a crotchety bachelor explain the intracicies of the female reproductive system by using a chalk drawing that looked like the head of a cow.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
We had a sex-ed class in seventh grade and there was that same bachelor teaching the class all together. Luckily we already knew most of it by then, but that teacher was full of crap. He basically said that girls got all weepy but it was all in their head and we were pretty much making it up. He wouldn't admit anything about the hormones part of it. Great class.
*grin* My husband just told me about his experience with sex-ed. They got split up, and the male coach simply told the guys, "You will be having girlfriends soon and they will get mad at you for no reason. Don't take it personally, and do whatever they want you to do." That was his entire class. It served him well, I think.
Posted by Sopwith (Member # 4640) on :
I guess for me, it happened when I was seven and stumbled across a couple of my Dad's Playboy magazines. Okay, I didn't just stumble across them, I was just pilfering about on a rainy day and Tah Dah!!!!
Talk about getting my attention! Wowzers! Well, when my Dad came to my room later to find out what had happened to them, my curiosity just started sending out question after question. My Dad did the best he could to answer the questions and got my Mom's advice along the way.
I got a more clinical look into Sex Ed the next year when our third grade class was part of a state test project on Sex Ed. Basically, I was educated in a small school system in the Appalachian mountains where class sizes were very small. As such, we were often used as places to try the new teaching techniques that were popping up in the 1970s. In our case, it was to basically lay out the whole sexuality issue to a group of third graders.
Over the next couple of weeks, we learned about reproduction, periods, puberty, gender and a whole host of other issues. Since this was also the height of feminism, we were told an awful lot about how gender roles were changing. The classes weren't segregated between boys and girls and if I remember correctly, any question you asked was answered.
All in all, I'd think it was a pretty healthy way to learn, but then again, what other life experiences have I had to compare and contrast it to?
Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
I was five when my mom was pregnant with my little brother. She read my sister and me a picture book, I think the title was How Babies Are Made. It was very complete, but all the illustrations were photographs of colored paper cut and layered. It was neat artwork. I realized when I was much older that if they’d used actual pictures it would have been considered pornography, but for some reason anatomically correct paper dolls were okay in a children’s book.
Then when I was 10 or so Mom gave me a copy of A Doctor Talks to 9-12 Year Olds and asked if I had any questions.
Then we had sex ed in eighth and tenth grade. And in seminary I took a very in depth Human Sexuality class taught by the University of Minnesota medical school and designed for people who would be doing counseling.
[ March 01, 2004, 11:34 AM: Message edited by: dkw ]
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
Hey! That How Babies Are Made book you mention is what I used with my own kids when they were young (I didn't want them to be as clueless as I was).
Of course, now there is more sex-ed in school, both at the junior high and high school level. My kids already knew about things at age 10 that I didn't learn until I was 17 or so (by experience).
Farmgirl
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Very cool about your sister-in-law, PSI! Bees are pretty much the only insect I've ever felt like I had a distinctly positive relationship, but I'm generally fascinated by insects. I'd love to have met your sil's preying mantis; I love watching mantises regarding things--it's incredibly cool.
You know, I've occasionally wondered whether or not I was actually doing the bees harm with the Dr. Pepper. None of them drowned in it the way ants will in honey (as an aside--how do bees keep ants from over-running their hives? Anyone have any idea?), but I wondered if the sugar in the Dr. Pepper was in a form that was useful for the bees, in terms of honey production. ScottR, you keep bees, right? Any thoughts on this?
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
I just assumed they killed the scouts.
I bet DP would make some awesome honey.
[ March 01, 2004, 11:52 AM: Message edited by: PSI Teleport ]
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
Wow! It seems that by far the two most common ways people here have learned about sex is either from the classic "school talk" or finding books/magazines that belonged to their parents. Hey, Porter, do we need to hide some of our reading material better? Not as much of the peer-teaching as I expected.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
I would say that parents should definitely hide that stuff better, and really enforce some private areas of the home. My parents let me have the run of their bedroom because they didn't want me to feel shut out. I think that was a bad plan.
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
quote: And in seminary I took a very in depth Human Sexuality class taught by the University of Minnesota medical school and designed for people who would be doing counseling
well! It's a good thing you got this, dkw! It might come in handy in the future.... <GRIN>
FG
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I'm thinking Hatrackers as kids did more interacting with printed materials than with peers. </generalizing>
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
katharina, would you believe that erotic dreams for me usually consist of reading erotica in my dreams? Very unsettling, once I realized it.
My mother, a nurse, had The Talk (of sorts) with me when I was about five. I'd just asked her what a "boustier" was (the French short stories which were so intriguing). However, I came away with a pretty vague idea that 1) you did this only so you could have babies, and 2) somehow your bodies merged through the clothes. I didn't believe people actually did what I was reading about until I was about 16 or 17 yrs old. Up til then, I guessed it was all some sort of wink-wink-snigger-snigger societal joke.
I remember clearly thinking, "You cannot be serious."
[ March 01, 2004, 12:08 PM: Message edited by: ClaudiaTherese ]
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
Ah! Perhaps you have put your finger on it, katharina.
[ March 01, 2004, 12:07 PM: Message edited by: beverly ]
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
Now, I'm guessing that was unintentional... but given CT's post above...
<not another onanism thread>
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
For me, books were a fairly gentle ease-in. I could deal with it on a highly theoretical basis; i.e., I didn't have to look anyone in the face while they were explaining it. That helped, at least for me. And I recieved my first romantic kiss after I started college, so early exposure didn't lead to early experience with others, at least in my case. YMMV
Posted by Eaquae Legit (Member # 3063) on :
I don't remember when I figured out the whole tab A slot B thing. I knew everything that happened AFTER, and that nakedness and very close contact were involved but no one ever told me how it all "came together." Seeing as my TV watching was rather strictly controlled and I really didn't have any friends, I figured out sometime around 6th grade or so. But I don't remember how. I just remember being rather confused by the (not terribly explicit) love scene in a particular book one day, and then later knowing what was being implied.
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Fowl creatures!![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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They both fly but only one stings.
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She was so boy-crazy her parents put in an all-girl Catholic school for fifth grade, but over the course of fourth grade, she managed to "date" half the boys in our class, including my two-years-already crush, tell a series of dirty jokes to me she then needed to explain, and kiss-ambush my older brother. She told me once, in a conspiratorial whisper, that she had started her period, and I didn't have the foggiest idea what she was talking about. Just like in "Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret.", the precocious kid was practically a pathological liar. What Alia left out, I filled in with encyclepedias.
![[Blushing]](graemlins/blushing.gif)
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) and would feed it garden insects. She would catch bees and wasps herself without getting stung. Once she caught a huge, gorgeous butterfly and ran around saying, "Look at my beautiful butterfly! Let's feed it to the praying mantis!" It's really amazing to watch. She is an awesome kid.![[Dont Know]](graemlins/dontknow.gif)