My wife and I had been arguing and she and I have both been concerned about arguing in front of our 8 year old son.
The song Wonderful, by Everclear came over the car stereo, a song in fact, that I had burned to a CD because I liked the sound of it. However, I had not listened closely to the words:
They hit home. I felt like an ass and immediately became ashamed of myself for being so angry in front of my son.
Geez.
[ March 21, 2004, 12:03 PM: Message edited by: Alucard... ]
Posted by Alucard... (Member # 4924) on :
On behalf of my wife, I have to clarify. I was driving along oblivious to most of what was going on around me since I was angry, and she happened to snap me to attention and said:
"Are you listening to the words of this song?"
"Uhh, no, not exactly."
"Well you should." "Here listen":
Everclear
Wonderful
Hey, ain't life wonderful? Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful... Isn't it wonderful now?"
I close my eyes when I get too sad I think thoughts that I know are bad Close my eyes and I count to ten Hope it's over when I open them I want the things that I had before Like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door I wish I could count to ten Make everything be wonderful again Hope my mom and I hope my dad Will figure out why they get so mad Hear them scream, I hear them fight They say bad words that make me wanna cry Close my eyes when I go to bed And I dream of angels who make me smile I feel better when I hear them say Everything will be wonderful someday Promises mean everything when you're little and the world's so big I just don't understand how You can smile with all those tears in your eyes Tell me everything is wonderful now Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now I go to school and I run and play I tell the kids that it's all okay I laugh aloud so my friends won't know When the bell rings I just don't wanna go home Go to my room and I close my eyes I make believe that I have a new life I don't believe you when you say Everything will be wonderful someday Promises mean everything when you're little and the world is so big I just don't understand how You can smile with all those tears in your eyes When you tell me everything is wonderful now NoNo, I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now NoNo, I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now I don't wanna hear you say That I will understand someday No, no, no, noI don't wanna hear you say You both have grown in a different way No, no, no, noI don't wanna meet your friends And I don't wanna start over again I just want my life to be the same, just like it used to be Some days I hate everything I hate everything Everyone and everything Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
(((Alucard)))
My husband and I both try very hard not to argue in front of our children. The effect on them is so much more devastating than we imagine it can be.
However, the fact that you and your wife realize that, and care puts you way ahead of many other parents. You care and love your son enough to consider what effect your actions have on him. I would say he's got him a good set of parents there.
Posted by Alucard... (Member # 4924) on :
Thanks Belle. I needed that!
I still feel like a jerk when I argue with my wife. In her defense, we are both professionals who are in charge of our businesses. We are not used to defering to anyone, and are both fiercely independent. This makes it hard for either of us to concede that one of us might have been wrong.
But we do try, and we do care, and have 2 lovely children because of it. Did I also mention that I am a perfectionist to a fatalistic degree? This doesn't help much either!
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
When my parents argue it makes my little sister cry. I am definately an advocate of "taking it outside", or at least having some self-restraint.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
What sad, beautiful lyrics. Thank you for sharing your story. Liz