And what if it's unrequited love? Then how do you tell?
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
1) You think about kissing them.
2) They kiss you.
or
1)You bail them out of jail
2)They bail you out of jail.
Take your pick.
Posted by skrika03 (Member # 5930) on :
I think love is being willing to commit a crime to see if someone cares about you enough to bail you out of jail. Posted by JohnKeats (Member # 1261) on :
1) If you are stalking them you're probably in love with them.
2) If you are stalking them despite a restraining order your love is unrequited.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Is stalking "love" or is it selfish? I think it's selfishness masquerading under the pretense of "love"
AJ
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
Oh. Right. Unrequited love. Doh.
Posted by Lirael (Member # 4217) on :
I'm being serious. I really want to know.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
The word love has so many varied meanings that for all purposes, it has no meaning anymore.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Being in Love is not being anxious and worried and terrified all the time. Real Love is a feeling of calm and happiness and trust.
Posted by JohnKeats (Member # 1261) on :
Being the one is like being in love. You just know it.
Posted by skrika03 (Member # 5930) on :
John..."balls to bones"
If it's unrequited love, just get over it. Suffering for unrequited love doesn't really help anyone, and it drives your friends crazy. (It did my friends, in any case. Your friends may not mind).
If it's love you'll know. Though if whenever you see this person you feel like you're being chased by a tiger, this is at least a promising indicator of infatuation.
[ March 26, 2004, 05:43 PM: Message edited by: skrika03 ]
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
I would actually say the exact opposite is often true, Annie. Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
I think being "in love" is overrated. The sort of love that lasts is a verb, a commitment of will. But being madly, out-of-your-mind, mutually infatuated is very nice, something everyone should experience at least once.
What is being "in love"? I think there are as many definitions as there are people.
Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
quote:I think love is being willing to commit a crime to see if someone cares about you enough to bail you out of jail.
Possibly true. But not recommended.
Just trust me on this. Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Real love doesn't generally involve angst.
AJ
Posted by skrika03 (Member # 5930) on :
I didn't seen annie's before I posted. For Annie, love is more like being caught by the tiger.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
Come on, beverly. I'm sure that at least two people on earth share the same definition.
Unless... possibly some people could have more than one definition. If that's the case, then how is it able to equal the exact number of people. There's something fishy going on...
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
Banna, I've observed that the people who love me get way more excited and upset (and occasionally happy) over things that I do than people who don't.
Posted by Papa Moose (Member # 1992) on :
Woohoo!!! Great post, Storm!!!
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
OK -- serious answer (although my first answer was serious, albeit not very helpful).
Love has many aspects, and the best I can do is say some of the aspects of love.
To me, one of the most important aspects of love is commitment. How much are you willing to sacrifice for the thing you love? For how long? Are you willing to commit to keep sacrificing even in the future when you no longer feel like it?
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
quote: Main Entry: angst Pronunciation: 'ä[ng](k)st, 'a[ng](k)st Function: noun Etymology: Danish & German; Danish, from German : a feeling of anxiety, apprehension, or insecurity
What angst means to me is the melodrama of Wagnerian operas or soap operas. Not connected to the realities of life.
AJ
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Hey - being caught by a tiger is very peaceful and relaxing.
No, but really. I say that AJ and I are totally right on this one. If you're freaking out, it's not love. Love is not a feeling of confusion, it's a feeling of peace.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Someone explained to me why parents in general are able to handle messiness caused by their babies. They said, "Once you realize you'd throw yourself in front of a train to save this little person, dirty diapers don't have the same effect as they did before."
That's love: when you think more about the person you love than yourself. It's a verb, not a noun.
Dagonee
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
Not that you were asking about lasting love, but I think an important ingredient to lasting love is finding someone with whom you can build a strong foundation. You've got to share similar values, be able to work through problems, communicate, act maturely. Infatuation alone does not often bring two such people together. But when it does, well, aren't you lucky!
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
"I'll give you an exact definition. When the happiness of another person becomes as essential to yourself as your own, then the state of love exists."
-- Jubal Harshaw to Ben Caxton, Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
In other words the love comes before the freaking out. Like if your loved one is in a life-threatening situation. Then if you love someone you do freak out.
But it should be extenuating circumstances freaking out, not constant ongoing angst and melodrama over ever little thing that goes on.
Twitterpation is different than freaking out/angst. Twitterpation is finding out that the calm love does exist and being happy because you didn't think you were going to find someone who loves you regardles of how you mangle your toothpaste tube while brushing your teeth and whether or not you fold your underwear precisely in thirds.
AJ
*though I admit Steve and I now have separate toothpaste tubes since sharing one was causing angst
[ March 26, 2004, 06:00 PM: Message edited by: BannaOj ]
Posted by Suneun (Member # 3247) on :
"Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more." Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
hee hee hee - thanks for saying it Suneun!
Posted by Lirael (Member # 4217) on :
quote:In other words the love comes before the freaking out. Like if your loved one is in a life-threatening situation. Then if you love someone you do freak out.
But it should be extenuating circumstances freaking out, not constant ongoing angst and melodrama over ever little thing that goes on.
Twitterpation is different than freaking out/angst. Twitterpation is finding out that the calm love does exist and being happy because you didn't think you were going to find someone who loves you regardles of how you mangle your toothpaste tube while brushing your teeth and whether or not you fold your underwear precisely in thirds.
But what if they don't love you?
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
I love everyone.
Posted by skrika03 (Member # 5930) on :
You could always read my Second Landmark Shameless self promotion.
I think there are two main flavors of love. One is unconditional, the other is deliberate. Which is better? Neither. Which do folks want? Both.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Love is like Aardvark, it starts with the letter 'A'.
Hobbes Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Why must we all change names like this? It just makes Annie feel like an outsider, like she's not cool enough or a good enough friend of Pooka to know her real name.
The only time it's fun to use alternate egos is when Annie turns into Professor Funk. That's funny.
Posted by blacwolve (Member # 2972) on :
I'm curious as to why pooka changed her name at all. It was perfectly good before and much easier to say.
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
When you wake up in the morning and say to yourself "I better put on the good cologne/perfume... I might see so and so today" thats love.
Or, for some slobs: "I better wear deoderant today, in case I see so and so."
Now thats love in its purist form.
Posted by Willy Shmily Tiger (Member # 5647) on :
Love is like the Crazy Mountains, it's in Montana.
Hobbes Posted by skrika03 (Member # 5930) on :
[derail] sorry, annie. It's my obscure OSC reference name. I was using it to avoid my landmark, because Suneun's landmark was so great. But I waited too long and now CT's landmark came out. I meant to do it today P.S. I think this all happened while you were being at peace with your tiger. [/derail]
LOL, T
[ March 26, 2004, 06:47 PM: Message edited by: skrika03 ]
Posted by Professor Funk (Member # 5608) on :
No hard feelings, Skrika03.
Wily Shmily Tiger... you're cute, mister.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Well thanks but I don't think anyone but Annie should be.... ohh, right.
Love is like crepes, it's something Annie does really well.
Hobbes Posted by Professor Funk (Member # 5608) on :
Love is like those creey caterpillers. It's orange and black and fuzzy.
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
I'm reaching for my sharp poking stick, you two....
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
Thank you Storm. Gosh, you people make me depressed. Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
So I just figured out skrika03 is pooka. *sigh*
What is love?
♫ Looooove is a many splendoured thing... ♪
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
If you pressure me, Stormy, I might be forced to post our chat transcripts.
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
Diabetic coma, here I come. Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
I guess if love isn't reciprocated it is a truly selfless act of love to put your own desires aside and let them go on with their life without you.
Sometimes it is harder than others though!
AJ
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
Whoa, now I want to know what's in those chat transcripts that's incriminating enough to get Strom to shut up about Annie and Hobbes being all cutsie.
Must be powerful stuff.
*wishes SHE had blackmail material like that*
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
Or does she mean transcripts of herself and Hobbes being even more cutsie? That might be quite threatening to Storm.
Posted by Da_Goat (Member # 5529) on :
quote:When you wake up in the morning and say to yourself "I better put on the good cologne/perfume... I might see so and so today" thats love.
Or, for some slobs: "I better wear deoderant today, in case I see so and so."
But I say those things because I work in customer service...
...Oh my gosh! I can't handle that many people!
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
*GRUMPILY*
And when will spring be over so we can get back to life as usual - all this mushiness is killing me!
Love - bah humbug.
Oh, wrong holiday - sorry.
(And I get the top of page two after my grumpiness? Woohoo!)
[ March 27, 2004, 01:30 AM: Message edited by: Shan ]
Posted by aspectre (Member # 2222) on :
There ain't no such thing as unrequited love. It's just a way of pretending to have the emotion without taking the risk, like drooling over a movie star or a singing idol.
[ March 27, 2004, 01:56 AM: Message edited by: aspectre ]
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
It's all subjective when it comes to love, unrequited or no.
But also, I agree... Spring... Bah, humbug.
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
Yes, love is whatever you convince yourself it is.
Annie and Hobbes' love would bore me to death. I much prefer the love that requires bailing out of jail.
Posted by Kama (Member # 3022) on :
So, when you bail Lalo out of jail...
Posted by Dragon (Member # 3670) on :
quote: I guess if love isn't reciprocated it is a truly selfless act of love to put your own desires aside and let them go on with their life without you.
Did anyone see The Butterfly Effect? That was (in addition to being a really odd movie) a good example of this:
*Spoilers* The guy loves this girl but she kills herself because he said he would come back for her after moving and he didn't. Later he figures out a way to go back in time and change little things that happened to him and his friends which results in his future changing in various different ways, in some he's with the girl, in some he's not, and he keeps trying to get the perfect combination and make everyone he cares about happy. Finally he realizes that the only way he can really make her life truly happy (and his other childhood friends too) is to go back to the day he met her when they were both really litte and tell her that if she ever spoke to him again he would kill her. She, of course, ran crying to her parents and never saw him again, but she had a good life because all the things that he did to mess it up and cause her to kill herself never happened.
Anyway, I didn't like the movie much but the idea that he was willing to sacrifice his chance of being happy with her to let her live her own happy life was why I brought it up.
Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :
Here's a pretty good scene from Neil Gaiman's "Sandman" comics:
Have you ever been in love?
You might say that.
Horrible, isn't it?
In what way?
I makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like "maybe we should just be friends" or "how very perceptive" turns into a splinter of glass working its way into your heart.
How pituresque.
It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips you apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love..... I hate love.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
How utterly depressing.
I find Love to be uplifting, strengthing, and give me more confidence. Maybe it's because I know the person I gave myself to is so kind and caring, but that's the way I feel.
Hobbes Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
I would be lost without that one person in my life that I share my soul with. But then, he is so very dependable. I trust him so deeply because, well, he has earned it. I feel very fortunate.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
Posted by blacwolve (Member # 2972) on :
When you long with all your heart for someone to love you, a madness grows there that shakes all sense from the trees and the water and the earth. And nothing lives for you, except the long deep bitter want. And this is what everyone feels from birth to death. Denton Welch
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Am I the only one who this thread makes think of Chris Kattan and Will Ferrell bobbing their heads up and down while wearing bad suits?
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Baby don't hurt me....
No, dagonee, you certainly aren't. Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
I love those skits!
Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
I was always under the impression that love is a delusion men hold that makes them believe one woman is somehow different from any other woman.
So, any of you ladies free tonight? No? You have to shampoo your hair? All of you? ... *hopeful voice* Together?
Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
The Stranger in a Strange Land quote was close to the truth. To one who is truly in love, the happiness of the object of love is more important that that of any other living being, including the one who is in love. In addition, true love builds upon both friendship and physical attraction, and so includes both within itself.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Henry Feilding said lasting love is based on respect and gratitude.
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Laugh]](graemlins/laugh.gif)
John..."balls to bones"![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[No No]](graemlins/nono.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
![[Party]](graemlins/party.gif)
![[Evil]](graemlins/evil.gif)
Shameless self promotion.![[Cool]](cool.gif)
![[Kiss]](graemlins/kiss.gif)
Wily Shmily Tiger... you're cute, mister.
![[Angst]](graemlins/angst.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Blushing]](graemlins/blushing.gif)