Hatrack River Forum: An easy road to wealth (now with Mormons)

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Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :

We are starting a cat ranch and taking one hundred thousand cats
Each cat will have twelve kittens a year
The catskins will sell for thirty cents each
One hundred men could skin five thousand cats a day
We could be dealing a profit of over ten thousand dollars
But what should we feed the cats?
We will start a rat ranch next door with a million rats
The rats will be twelve times faster than the cats
So we can have more rats to feed each day for each cat
But what should we feed the rats?
We will feed the rats the carcases of the cats
After they have been skinned
Now get this!
We feed the rats to the cats and the cats to the rats
And get the catskins for nothing
We feed the rats to the cats and the cats to the rats
And get the catskins for nothing
We feed the rats to the cats and the cats to the rats
And get the catskins for nothing
We feed the rats the carcases of the cats
After they have been skinned
We feed the rats to the cats and the cats to the rats
And get the catskins for nothing
Rats to the cats and the cats to the rats
And get the catskins for nothing

---"How to skin a cat"

Man am I bored at work.

[ April 03, 2004, 06:35 PM: Message edited by: Storm Saxon ]

Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :

[No No]

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

There are, however, some complimentary continental breakfasts to be found. [Smile]

Posted by tonguetied&twisted (Member # 5159) on :

[ROFL]

Posted by skrika03 (Member # 5930) on :

No free lunch? We just put these farms by the Kraft cheese works.

Posted by Amka (Member # 690) on :

I thought you were going to be talking about that book by Richard Paul Evans (of The Christmas Box fame) called "The Five Lessons A Millionaire Taught Me about Life and Wealth".

Advertisements have been all over the radio stations, and we were gifted with TV ads between General Conferance (big meeting for every member of the LDS church where the Prophet and leaders speak) sessions.

An excerpt from the blurb about the book:

quote:
A kindly multi-millionaire invited all the youth in the area to the local church. He wanted to teach us the 5 lessons of wealth...

...By the age of sixteen I bought my own car and paid most of my own expenses. By nineteen I paid for my own church mission and college. By the age of thirty-one I paid off my home.

One of the things that bothers me most about the area I live is the emphasis on worldly and churchly success. If you can't have that, at least keep up the appearance.

[ April 04, 2004, 11:03 PM: Message edited by: Amka ]

Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :

I wonder if those are the same 5 things Elder Wirthlin discussed in his talk.

Posted by odouls268 (Member # 2145) on :

[ROFL]

Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :

If you can't be wealthy, then you should appear wealthy?

Huh. I'll have to think about that one as a life maxim.

Posted by Amka (Member # 690) on :

I guess I would have to buy the book to find out, eh? Not sure if I even want to stoop to checking it out of the library.

On a good note, this guy does do good stuff for abused kids.

On a bad note, he makes sure everyone knows about it.

Posted by Amka (Member # 690) on :

Since wealthiness is a sign of righteousness, Storm, then you better appear at least to be upper middle class.

Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :

While I think modesty is a good thing, I also think it's o.k. to brag about doing stuff which really is a plus for the world. [Smile]

Of course, after the 3,445,554 time of hearing about what a good job that person is doing, I can see how you might want to tell them to keep it to themselves. [Smile]

Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :

I am pretty sure that neither of these authorities had anything to say on the matter of cat skins. [Wink]

Oh, and, btw...

Those coupons for one free dinner with purchase of a more expensive one...

Do not count as free dinners, either! [Razz]

Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :

I take it you think the whole buttered toast/cat perpetual motion machine is a hoax, too? [Mad]

Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :

*am so hoping I'm not the one who has to tell Storm about the Easter Bunny*

Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :

Storm, the easter bunny is really a chunky dude in a blue spandex suit.

Only Elder Wirthlin is an authority. The other is an author of sob stories.

Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :

He leaves eggs for all the good little boys and girls. What else is there to know?

Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :

quote:
I take it you think the whole buttered toast/cat perpetual motion machine is a hoax, too?

*sigh* Yes, Storm. It's in the same category as free cat skins and books promising real insights on how to become rich.

I don't answer questions about the Easter Bunny.

Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :

You're a mean man, sndrake, to rob a man of his dreams. May God have mercy on your soul.

Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :

quote:
He leaves eggs for all the good little boys and girls. What else is there to know?

<Groan> OK, Storm, here it is. See, there was this guy who had a scheme for getting free rabbit skins...

Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :

I'm just confused as to why the (now with Mormons) was on this thread before we started talking about the Mormons.

Anyway, I'm sure the 5 ideas were really non-sexy. Unlike the cats that defy the laws of Thermodynamics in various ways.