i should go to the gym and visit my pretend karate boyfriend and burn the three-pieces-of-toast breakfast off my thighs, but i can't seem to unglue my jaunty buttocks from the chair.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
I, too, dine on the smorgusboard of supreme, big-assed laziness. We know we can get away with it. We're too hot for our own good. And if anyone says different in our thread, I say we whack 'em.
Or, you know, hire it out.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Far be it from me to object to your laziness.
[edited because I can't type when tired]
[ June 09, 2004, 01:41 AM: Message edited by: mackillian ]
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
I prefer big-stomach laziness myself.
Anyhow, I hear pot bellies are becoming fashionable.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
quote:Far be it from me to object to your laziness.
The "too hot for our own good part," doofus.
Don't you have, like, forty threads going on in your honor right now? Why must you sabotage ours? We don't get them very often anymore, and apparently we have to start them ourselves.
We're like relics of a long-forgotten, ego-massaging time. It was a beautiful thing.
(I'm tempted to start whoring out pics of Sara again.)
[ June 09, 2004, 01:46 AM: Message edited by: Ralphie ]
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Like the Uber-Hot-Ralphie-Porce legend will ever die.
*slinks off*
Posted by porcelain girl (Member # 1080) on :
i may in fact have a bowl of cereal instead of hopping on the crosstraining.
i am so self defeating sometimes---but so hungry most of the time!
we have this blueberry jam that is absolutely scrumptious on wheat toast with butter.
i honestly think i have almost reached crack-fiend status when it comes to chocolate these days. i feel like i HAVE to have a piece of dark chocolate after every meal. what i really need is a vending machine stocked with super high quality chocolate, and it dispenses only one (okay, maybe two) selections a day. that way i get my chocolate but i am limited to a certain number a day, so it is up to me to choose when i want it. because forget that "i just need the taste" line, i always say that but then when i taste it i throw all discipline to the wind. it's like saying no to jude law. or ewan mcgregor. or jude law, ewan mcgregor, and the entire male cast of lord of the rings in a van with a hottub.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
quote: Like the Uber-Hot-Ralphie-Porce legend will ever die.
Sadly, it has. "It's dead, Jim."
However, I remain good for parts.
[ June 09, 2004, 01:47 AM: Message edited by: Ralphie ]
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Which parts remain good? the Ever-Worshipped Rack?
'Cause, once upon a time, there was a Fellowship of the Rack that people were asked to join...
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
Pssh, Ralphie and Sara are still hot legends that newbs will never fully grasp. I myself, after 2 years, am still in awe.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Grasp. There's a double meaning in that. Especially where parts are concerned.
Posted by porcelain girl (Member # 1080) on :
i agree. i have been a ghost for many a moon.
perhaps that explains my recent lacking in a sense of accountability?
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
quote:i honestly think i have almost reached crack-fiend status when it comes to chocolate these days. i feel like i HAVE to have a piece of dark chocolate after every meal. what i really need is a vending machine stocked with super high quality chocolate, and it dispenses only one (okay, maybe two) selections a day. that way i get my chocolate but i am limited to a certain number a day, so it is up to me to choose when i want it. because forget that "i just need the taste" line, i always say that but then when i taste it i throw all discipline to the wind. it's like saying no to jude law. or ewan mcgregor. or jude law, ewan mcgregor, and the entire male cast of lord of the rings in a van with a hottub.
It's like your meal isn't complete without chocolate, I completely understand. For me, it's coffee and something sweet. I have to have it at the end of every meal. Coffee fortunately has no calories, but the "something sweet" usually has enough for me and my entire caloric intake for the week.
Stupid yummy food.
Speaking of hot men, did I tell you my master plan if Dan ever pops it?
Okay, here's the agenda: First, I meet and start a two week, ridiculously torrid affair with Jonny Lee Miller. (Haven't figured out how I'm going to meet him, yet, tho - in the works.) We realize that, while we're obviously made for each other physically, we would hate to ruin our friendship by being terrible at dating, so we stoically break up.
During this time period, I've been introduced to Jude Law. Jude Law and I commense on a two month, ridiculously torrid affair. At the end of two months we realize that, while we're obviously incredibly suited for each other in matters of teh luv, we're just 'not ready to commit at this time'. We stoically break it off.
THEN, because I've accompanied Jude Law to his interview with Craig Kilborn, Craig and I begin a six month, ridiculously torried affair.
It ends tragically. I don't want to talk about it.
BUT, I find solace in the arms of John Mayer, who I've met as a result of the Craig Kilborn late late show. And we get married.
Somewhere in there is a young Bruce Campbell. Still hammering out the details.
For me, imaginary ridiculously torrid affairs are a like a box of chocolates. You take a single bite out of every one to find the best, but ain't none of it bad, baby.
Posted by porcelain girl (Member # 1080) on :
i am moving to LA next week.
a friend is moving to seattle, so i had mentioned to em the possibility of a roadtrip up the coast. we would definitely have to stop in portland. i am not making real plans here, just letting you know it's something i would like to do. i also need to try and find two brothers i was good friends with in virginia that moved to washington.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
quote:perhaps that explains my recent lacking in a sense of accountability?
I'm incredibly rude on Hatrack compared to what I used to be. I just don't feel the same sense of obligation.
Also, people just be needin' a beatin' round here!
(^rude! Admits it!)
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
Ralphie, your words of wisdom have touched my soul.
::wipes a tear::
Posted by porcelain girl (Member # 1080) on :
oh, i totally agree.
i've made similar plans, different flavors.
viggo mortensen meets me at an art gallery, we immediately connect. after an extremely torrid six month affair he loves me like a poem, but thinks i won't be happy with him long due to the wide age difference. i am of course very hurt and am still clinging to my extremely naive and idealisitc notions of our boundless love. all the meanwhile i do not realize that his concern for me and the age difference was not the only issue - it turns out his friend dominic monaghan was completely taken with me the first time we met - in the buffet line at an earth day picnic. (simply marvelous, just try and imagine all you can eat french pastries at an environmentalist fundraiser!) viggo is the bigger man and steps aside, then dom and i have a hot and heavy relationship for an undisclosed amount of time. not sure how it pans out, but i do know that when dom was working on a project he had issues with the whole long distance thing, and felt like he was trapping me, so he broke things off and during this unfortunate interval orlando bloom confesses his burning passion for me with no sense of propriety whatsoever. i had to let him down gently, the poor guy. well, after a torrid three hour affair, anyway.
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
Come on, use the wuss to meet brad pitt.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Your men are so altruistic, Sara.
I... I think of have one of Nathan's sissy tears in my eyes.
(Hey - I'm off to bed. You wanna resurrect this thread again when we're both on and piss off all the people I've told to stop bringing their AIM convos to Hatrack like the damned hypocrite I am?)
Posted by porcelain girl (Member # 1080) on :
oh, no need, T. i met brad in the buffet line, too. i wasn't interested but we did have a very nice coversation about existentialism and blue jeans.
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
Wow, sounds deep.
Posted by porcelain girl (Member # 1080) on :
will do, foxy momma.
i keep Hypocrisy right next to Obsession and White Diamonds.
Posted by porcelain girl (Member # 1080) on :
only as deep as your pockets, T, only as deep as your pockets.
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
Mmm, I like both those plans.
I think mine would be a get-over-my-grief torrid affair with Tim Freedom (Australian singer, sexy as can be) until I realise that he is *way* too old for me, and kinda screwed up also. I would dump him (gently) and he would write lots of bitter and longing songs about me.
While holidaying in Paris to take my mind off the end of my affair, I'd bump into Johnny Depp where upon we would find each other irresistable. A 3 month affair would ensue, until I got sick of him using my eyeliner. Of course, during our time together I would have met lots of hollywood types, so I'd fall into the arms of Orlando Bloom, who would be devastated by porce's rejection of him. After comforting him (in a torrid kind of way) for a month or two, I'd decide it was time to move on.. to Angelina Jolie.
Well actually, we'd just hold hands and hug a lot in public, but it would be enough.
After I get sick of the media following my every move, I'd move from Angelina (who would tell everyone that I was *way* sexier than her) and into a more low key, but nonetheless torrid affair with the guy who plays Westley on Buffy. But only if he was all sweaty and tough.
That's it, I think.
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
My pockets can be pretty deep, especially when looking for correct change.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
*Gets out of bed to come back to Hatrack and post:*
quote: After comforting him (in a torrid kind of way) for a month or two, I'd decide it was time to move on.. to Angelina Jolie.
You skanky whore!
(Mine's Monica Bellucci.)
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Angelina Jolie is totally hot.
Posted by LadyDove (Member # 3000) on :
Yeah, cos Monica Bellucci is so less skanky then Angelina Jolie.. oh wait.. she *is* pretty hot. And Italian.
Posted by porcelain girl (Member # 1080) on :
throughout the course of my relationship with viggo, scarlet johansson was continually dropping my name and making suggestive remarks about the nature of our accqaintance.
at least now we know who kiss and tells...
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
quote: THEN, because I've accompanied Jude Law to his interview with Craig Kilborn, Craig and I begin a six month, ridiculously torried affair.
It ends tragically. I don't want to talk about it.
^That's because I stole him from her. Shhhhh...
But then I had to dump him for the love of my life, Hal Sparks. Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
I wuv this thread.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Hmm Angelina Jolie, very tempting. I was actually looking forward to seeing Kiera Knightly dressed in nothing but leather straps in King Arthur. Though she's too young for me, even if she looked good next to Johnny Depp and Orlando (though who wouldn't look good in the company of those two?) If I could only have a threesome, which two of the three would I pick?...
If I was going for older women, it would be Renee Russo no questions asked.
AJ
Posted by jebus202 (Member # 2524) on :
OH MY GOD!! L-L-L-L-LESB-B-B-B- WOMEN WHO LIKE OTHER WOMEN!!!
W00T!
::drools::
::coughs::
I mean ::shrugs:: whatever... it's all cool.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
This thread is a sweet little taste of the old days. It will be off the front page soon, though.
Posted by eslaine (Member # 5433) on :
quote: Also, people just be needin' a beatin' round here!
Let the whippings commence!
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
you know I handwhipped some cream the other day...
AJ
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
I still think Ralphie looks like Angelina Jolie
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
I so want Sara's hair.
Seriously, when I was going to get my hair cut, I wanted go get it cut like hers, but I didn't have a good pic. Oh well, it still does like kinda like hers. If only I could get it to stick out better!
And, if I'm going to be coveting other people's body parts, I want Toni's rack, 'cept that ain't happening without going under the knife... *sigh*
[ June 09, 2004, 12:27 PM: Message edited by: ludosti ]
Posted by porcelain girl (Member # 1080) on :
it's all about the products, ludosti. well, also the texturizing in the cut and whatnot, but seriously, my i have very naturally fine and only slightly wavy hair.
you need to get some good products like paul mitchell reworks, alterna hair putty, paul mitchell ESP (elastic shaping paste), and ice spiker blast or half blast. those are just a few possibilities.
you take a little bit of the softer product such as reworks and work it through damp hair. then you scrub your hair while you blow dry it, and also manipulate any other parts while blowdrying. this is just to defy gravity and get you started. then take a little bit of the higher octane stuff, like esp, and do the detailed articulation. for lowerkey styles just a spritz of any spray will do, but high maintenance and wild nights try something like spiker blast. that shiz is the nit.
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
Ooh!! I can have Sara's hair!!! My hair is also fairly fine (though I have a ton of it and it tends to hold water really well), wavy in the front (which is why it has to be longer in the front, otherwise it goes all stupid), razored and textured and all that. Right now I'm using some texturizing mousse and super duper extra hold gel (scrubbed in damp hair before blowdrying) and some ultra magic sculpting wax after it's dry. Sounds like I just need to hit up the store and get some better products (and get a trim since it's starting to get a tad long to defy gravity)! Thanks!!
[ June 09, 2004, 01:28 PM: Message edited by: ludosti ]
Posted by porcelain girl (Member # 1080) on :
my hair is fine AND thin. bleah.
other good products include: redken rewind rusk wired alterna pliable molding paste ice hair glue works in a pinch, but long term it stresses out your hair.
if i get my hair done i always ask what products they are putting in my hair, so then i can see the results and judge for myself. i've experimented with a lot of products, but i think it's safe to say no to anything gel.
alterna's polishing gloss is nice for shiny articulation and "pieceing" and i think redken's vinyl glam is okay...but not spectacular.
i am shopping around for better shampoo and conditioner because my hair feels like crap. buuuuut i'm broke, so it's another month or two of hobo style.
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
I'm also a weirdo and have to be able to actually touch my hair without it going *crunch* or anything. I like being able to run my hands through my hair, so anything that makes it get too sticky, chunky, and the like I hate, but it makes it hard to achieve the style I want. *laugh*
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
This thread needs a Hugh Jackman reference.
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
I think what this thread really needs is for you, porce, and Ralphie to give each other backrubs.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
Or they could all give me backrubs.
[ June 09, 2004, 02:47 PM: Message edited by: Icarus ]
Posted by porcelain girl (Member # 1080) on :
ludosti--- peoople are actually shocked when they touch my hair. it is incredibly soft and easy to run your hands through and mess around with. that is the difference between good products and bad!
the spiker blast indeed makes things stiff, which is why i only use it for extremer styles. otherwise paul mitchell freeze and shine is a good finishing spray. all those other products save ice glue shapes hair without sha-lacking it. (how do you spell that?)
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
but i don't qualify in the hatrack hottie category
AJ (my lack of capitals is an omage to porce)
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I'm sure she's onored.
Hugh Jackman Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Besides I think Ralphie likes giving monkey bumps better than backrubs.
AJ
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
And your lack of spelling is an homage to whom?
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
Darn. Kat did it faster and better. *pout*
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
lol, I guess people pronounce it differently depending on its usage even though it is spelled the same.
I thought "homage" (pronounced with the H and a hard "g" like in mage) was more like tribute and obesiance. i.e. "paying homage to a king"
while I thought "omage" (prounounced with a silent H so all you hear is the o and a soft g) is more like giving credit for an influence like in art and something that is spliced together kinda like a collage. Like this "is an omage dedicated to Ansel Adems" where all of the artwork in the collection was other photographers showing how he influenced them in their own work.
Have you heard it pronounced with out the "h" before?
AJ
Posted by porcelain girl (Member # 1080) on :
i have heard it both ways, and had the same ideas about the connotations as you did, bannafannafofanna.
just because it's bugging me i have to mention again that my hair is not crunchy.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
well I admit I thought they were separate but related words. Now I know they are actually spelled the same. Maybe you need a funny accent mark over the o for the second one.
AJ
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
I'm so glad that your hair isn't crunchy!! (I had to go run and do work so I couldn't respond sooner)
I'm also glad that my hair isn't crunchy either! I made slacker laugh a couple weeks ago - I got too much styling creme stuff in my hair and it was all sticky, so I had to get in the shower and wash it again. Good thing it only takes about 2 minutes to wash it and 2 minutes to dry it.
[ June 09, 2004, 05:15 PM: Message edited by: ludosti ]
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
This is a great thread. Needs more people telling Sara and I how hot we are, tho.
And Lusti. And maybe Imogen, since she was up front 'bout the Angelina Jolie thing.
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
I think it definately needs more people telling me how hot I am.
Of course, I know my hottiness is outshined by Ralphie and Sara - but what can I expect?
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
quote:For some reason, I read this as "Then no one is spanked." Suddenly I had an unexplainable urge to start throwing around religious jargon if that's what it would take to get spanked by Ralphie.
Relief Society! Bishopric! Primary! MTC!
*waits*
I think Brinestone qualifies as well.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Ruth! You skank! "Rankled" doesn't even closely resemble "spanked," you hussy.
And I would totally take you up on your shameless insinuation, but I'm pretty sure that would do poor Jon Boy in.
You know, his weak heart and all.
edit: Hey, is 'hussey' spelt with an 'e' or not? :/
[ June 09, 2004, 10:21 PM: Message edited by: Ralphie ]
Posted by porcelain girl (Member # 1080) on :
so i feel the need to mention that while dominic monaghan and i are going through that awkward downtime due to his guilt over long distance relationships i go to a club and i get all kinds of sweaty breakin it down to some old school prince with mekhi phifer. whoa-ah.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Yes.
And I've decided David Gray has been saving himself for me.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
So is this where I rescue Wynona Ryder from her emotional black hole? Torridly?
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
It would be unfair of you not to, Joe.
Posted by porcelain girl (Member # 1080) on :
Dr. Sara always prescribes Tor-Id for the emotionally vapid, distraught, or confused!
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
If you could only pick one, who would you choose, Matt Damon or Ben Afleck?
I'm thinking Matt. He might not be quite as big as Ben in terms of star power, but I think he has the better character. For a torrid affair though Ben might be the one. But Matt is awfully hot in the Bourne Identity and I can't wait til the sequel comes out.
AJ
Posted by Beca (Member # 4340) on :
This thread made my day.
Matt Damon. Ben looks too much like my brother.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Ew, neither. They both bother me intensely - Ben seems as shallow as a puddle and Damon has a permanent smirk. Neither are particularly good-looking to me, either.
*goes back to look at the picture of Hugh Jackman again*
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
quote:If you could only pick one, who would you choose, Matt Damon or Ben Afleck?
To beat up?
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
You've never seen Ben's interview on Inside the Actors studio. He's a total arty geek, exactly your type kat (well other than the drinking part). Remember he and Matt can't be that shallow, they WROTE Good Will Hunting.
Speaking of Inside the Actors Studio, while I only watched half the interview, the interview with Val Kilmer was enlightening as to his character if painful to watch because the man was so uncomfortable. It is amazing he can play arrogant characters so well, because the man is completely meek and soft spoken. He is also a total intellectual nerd, but very awkward about it. He thinks so much the words have difficulty coming out of his mouth. Very stilted. In Real Genuius (and The Saint) he was playing himself, but with more self confidence than he possesses internally.
AJ
[ June 10, 2004, 12:32 PM: Message edited by: BannaOj ]
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
and Val was actually better looking in that interview, than most of the characters he played. Maybe because he was so unvarnished IRL.
AJ
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
quote:He's a total arty geek, exactly your type kat (well other than the drinking part).
Really? *looks for evidence*
Thought to be good-looking? Pretty geeky? Somewhat arty? Prone to grand romantic gestures? A few bad habits? Commitment phobic?
Well, crap. He is my type, exactly.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
![[No No]](graemlins/nono.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)