Actually its a diet and exercise book that guarantees you loose weight, but living with a 3-4 year old.
It would include a short chapter on dieting--
"If the kid won't let you eat, you won't eat."
and
"There are no carbs or calories in food dropped on the floor."
It would outline such energy burning exercise as:
The Stationary Bike--not an expensive bike with no wheels, but a rope tied to your kids trike. He sits, you pull him around in circles, getting no where.
Leg Lifts--with 35lbs of weight attached to your leg demanding "Again! Again!"
The marathon three block walk carrying the kid back all three blocks.
The uphill stroller push through mud.
The 50 meter-grandma's-vase-is- falling dash.
and the ever popular, He's-Alone-Next-To-The-New-Computer-Cardio Workout. That's a great heart pounding excercise.
Do you think it will sell.
(I have lost 5 lbs since bringing Sasha home.)
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
In a year or so, it will be just the opposite, Dan.
Because you'll have the fussy eater, who leaves food on their plate,and you will feel like you need to eat what's left to "clean it up" instead of throwing it out.
And the pounds start mounting.....
FG
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
I've been known to fake falling from my bed just to get my parents to stay a little longer at home. I could ask them for some more stuff for your book, Dan. Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
don't fall out of bed on my behalf.
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
I was wondering: you haven't included the wake-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night army routine...
As for falling out of bed: there's no one around, so there's nothing to gain from it...
Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
I prefer the "Gamer's Diet":
Spend all my money on games.
No money for food, no money for gas.
Walk everywhere.
Don't eat.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Dan,
I agree with Farmgirl. That lone chicken nugget is just too hard to resist. And how can you throw away that plate of spaghetti? You worked hours to make that sauce.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
The I must change it to "The Daddy Diet Book."
Momma is the one that clears off his plate. I am busy chasing him.
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
It will sell- Iremember last night at dinner, as I popped off my seat every 3 minutes to refill water glasses, plates, clean up spilled beans, etc- that this was doing wonders for my butt and thighs.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
This one is very similar to the Those-Are-Mashed-Potatoes-He-Put-in-the-DVD-Tray-Don't-Let-Him-Push-Close workout, but it's nowhere near as good as the "Oh-My-God-He's-At-The-Edge-Of-The-Street" workout. Greater distance and much more fear to get the heart racing.
Dagonee
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
I guess it's an advantage of adopting, when you give birth to them you gradual increase calories to match as they grow.
You probably have more cortisol (stress hormone) in the short run, but your body will catch up.
:remembers to run a search on "What my fans have been waiting for":
Posted by from Cythera (Member # 6749) on :
This is also applicable for dogs. There is the oh-gosh-he-is-lifting-his-leg-on-my-grandmother's-antique-furniture workout which most of the time requires a high jump hurdle over a coffee table and a sprint to the backdoor. Then if you fail to make it in time, you get to do my personal favorite workout...the bend-over-for-30-minutes-scrubing-pee-out-of-grout-and-from-underneath-the-table-and-chairs.
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
It was only on this reading of your thread title that I thought "Yay, Dan is becoming a Mormon!" (kid diet = baby eating? Awh, nevermind)
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
to quote my comment in the cannibal thread--0 Net Carbs
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