I found out that when Mack was telling someone about Nathan and they asked about how they met she said "mutual friends".
When I was talking to this lady in the hall at Kama Con with Christy, she described it as a "convention". I never actually thought of it in that regards despite the name. "Conventions" only have the nerdy undertones to those involved in the subculture so it really is a good subtrefuge.
Of course those were the dignified responses. I've never been accused of dignity. How I explained it to my coworkers: "Like Trekkies, but we aren't quite that wierd and we read more."
So how do YOU explain it?
AJ
[ August 18, 2004, 11:28 AM: Message edited by: BannaOj ]
Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
Nobody not on Hatrack knows I post on Hatrack. Not going to KamaCon saved me a lot of explaining.
I'm ashamed of all of you Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
Yes -- I had a difficult time explaining KamaCon to family/friend/co-workers. Because it was hard to put into words.
Yes -- we are all friends from a site dedicated to an author we all like. No, we don't just sit around talking about his books or about him. No, he wasn't there, etc. etc. It was really really hard to explain. But I did use the word "convention" because it was just the easiest way to go....
Also used the concept of "road trip" a lot -- the guys could relate to that...
Farmgirl
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
The only problem with describing it as a convention is the follow-up questions. "Oh, so this is for work? What was the topic?"
"Um, no, it's a bunch of people I know from online."
. . . and my cousins don't even have a computer, let alone web access. (Thank goodness I ended up staying with someone else! AOL is awful, but a heck of a lot better than no access for two days. ) So I got looks . . . and then we moved on to other subjects.
Then again, people who have known me well for years responded to, "For a convention" with, "Oh, is this one of your Star Trek things or a Pern thing?" *chuckle*
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
To new friends and people I don't know well: "I have a large group of friends scattered around the country, and we get together once a year or so."
To closer friends and potential Hatrackers: "I have this geeky other life that I secretly love."
To best friends: "I don't have a family. Hatrack takes its place."
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
Haha, I've encountered that problem, now that I've been bouncing around the school, telling everyone that "my friend rivka is coming to visit!!!!!!!" But usually, people start asking questions, and then it comes up that rivka and I have actually never met...
I'm not sure how I say it, though. It varies every time. I usually try to go for what I think won't freak people out!
Posted by blacwolve (Member # 2972) on :
"Join and you'll find out." Posted by blacwolve (Member # 2972) on :
Raia, get online!
Please?
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
btw apparently our "Prove Your Existence" t-shirts, amused Steve, cause he liked the slogan!
AJ
Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
*grin*
Bob and I had our first pre-marital counseling session the week before KamaCon. (Since my mentor is officiating, we asked a pastoral counselor who is not a close friend to do the counseling.) When she said, “so tell me how you met,” we looked at each other for a minute and then I said, “Um, do you want to take that one?”
Most of the time when people ask I go with “we’re both members of an online discussion group.” For some reason that sounds better than “we met on the internet.”
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
you know as much as I loathe the commercials, I think the E-Harmony type commercials, are gradually de-stigmatizing the "met on the internet" thing to the public perception. As for me, my coworkers already know I'm weird.
My boss basically told me he was glad I took some time off to have fun which was pretty nice of him too! I played up the Kama angle with him though since he is Polish himself.
AJ
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I say "online book club" or "writer's group" sometimes, since that is usually what brings us here.
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
[ August 18, 2004, 11:47 AM: Message edited by: Raia ]
Posted by Insanity Plea (Member # 2053) on :
For simplicity I just say "An online discussion and book group." I tried to call hatrack "An online discussion and book group of people who have met each other or who have met people who have met other people who have met other people...somehow we know the others are real...for the most part," but that confused me more than anyone else. Satyagraha
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
I got some odd looks when I told my in laws I had taken my kids with me to meet some people I met on the internet.
I have some advantage in that I've never had to explain it to someone who hadn't heard of Orson Scott Card. P.S. (Though it gives the false assumption that most of you are Mormon)
[ August 18, 2004, 11:51 AM: Message edited by: pooka ]
Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :
It's definitely interesting to explain without sounding like a total geek. I would also leave it at 'going to see friends' or somesuch.
quote:To best friends: "I don't have a family. Hatrack takes its place."
Hey cool, I have sisters now. Always wanted some growing up. Stupid youngest of 3 boys... Posted by Christy (Member # 4397) on :
"This weekend we helped organize and went to a convention -- Kamacon -- of Hatrackers -- an internet bulletin board for fans of Orson Scott Card -- celebrating Kama's visit to the US from Poland."
Ported straight from my journal and pretty close to how I explain Hatrack -- an internet discussion site for fans of an author we like, Orson Scott Card. Of course, most people then say who? (or the less tech savvy ones say what?) My mom just smiles and nods, but she does now remember Card's name now, which is funny.
Posted by Carrie (Member # 394) on :
I don't. It's that simple. Anyone who asks or gives me a look when I'm posting and should be doing something else gets no explanation whatsoever. Surely they have some weird habit/addiction that they'd not like to explain to me... Posted by NdRa (Member # 2295) on :
It was a little difficult trying explain to my friends and family who Ralphie was and why a perfect "stranger" was staying at my place for a week. "She's this really cool friend I met a few years ago, and she's here to party with me and a few others who are flying in. What? Where did I meet these people? At the hatrack. No, it's not a bar...it's a community of people that enjoy talking to each other on this online forum...yeah, the same people from e-nerdcon. Yes, they use the sking from their love handles to graft pointy ears all the time. Stop pointing and laughing at me or I'll have to punch you in the throat."
[ August 18, 2004, 12:48 PM: Message edited by: NdRa ]
Posted by Happy Camper (Member # 5076) on :
I said I was going to visit some friends in Chicago.
Then they say "oh, the ones who are getting married next week?"
Then I say "no, different friends."
It never actually comes up that I've met you people online, though I've been pressed about stuff, mostly by my brother. I don't think I ever really said it wasn't the same friends, so he was under the impression I was going up for a Bachelor party or something and didn't want to admit it I think.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Yeah, I guess saying "I'm going to Chicago to see a hot chick from Poland with a sexy accent" would have made him think you were going to a bachelor party even more rather than a nerd convention.
AJ
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
I don't remember really explaining it but somehow all my friends know about it. They think it's weird, but during get-togethers I rarely tell people it's a Hatrack get-together. I usually just say, "I'm meeting some friends of mine up in Phoenix" or something similar. They don't have to know which definition of "meeting" I'm using.
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
That's okay -- my mom thinks it's an all-female group (she would preach at me if she thought there were men around -- and remember, I'm 43!). I purposely only mention the females I know will be there -- Dana, Anna, etc. etc. So she thinks it is just a "girl gathering"
Farmgirl
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
It's funny...I should be concerned that one of you is an ax murderer...but I'm not. Nearly everyone that comes to get togethers has met other people and been determined sane. Plus, this doesn't seem like a good hunting ground for psychos. I think they prefer pretending to be fourteen on teenage chat sites.
Posted by Telperion the Silver (Member # 6074) on :
For simplicity's sake I just said I was going to a convention and/or a gathering of internet friends and when pressed for more info by my closer friends and family I gave them the full run down on what Hatrack is. Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
quote: been determined sane
Well that is certianly up in the air. Maybe just not more insane than anyone else?
AJ
Posted by MaydayDesiax (Member # 5012) on :
"F---in' fun."
Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :
Not insane, but sane in a crazy world!
Okay, who saw that coming?
Posted by Zeugma (Member # 6636) on :
If I have to, I refer to you all as "my internet friends" while waving my arms wildly about.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Sometimes I just bite the bullet and say I'm meeting people I met online just because everyone at least thinks they know what I'm talking about, even if that means they think I'm nuts. A lot of times I say I'm going to visit my girlfriend, I like that one a lot.
Hobbes Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
I can't. People think I'm totally nuts when I tell them about Hatrack, so usually I avoid the subject. They seem to think I'm like these Japanese guys who have no social life outside the Internet and don't actually go out of their home if they are not forced to. *sigh* I think it's even less usual here than in the USA, but I may be wrong. EDIT : spelling and the last sentence
[ August 18, 2004, 03:07 PM: Message edited by: Anna ]
Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
Different kinds of psychos PSI - pedophiles are a far cry from serial killers.
Well, not such much, in retrospect.
And I've always thought the axe gets a bad rap - I mean c'mon, of all the possible household implements one might use to express displeasure, the axe just lacks imagination and creativity.
-Trevor
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
I was including all kinds of psychos in that description...I'm thinking that if a pedophile goes so far as to meet one of the kids, he might as well kill him/her. Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
I'm with BtL on this one. Hatrack is one of my dirty little secrets.
...more or less.
[ August 18, 2004, 04:43 PM: Message edited by: twinky ]
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I explained Chicago by "Remember when I went to Georgia in January? It's the same friends. We take turns hosting cities."
Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
I'm straightforward about it - I tell people I needed a place to get away from work. Not having a lot of time, I found this online community.
I then describe the community as consisting of people who mostly have only one thing in common - we've all read and enjoyed one particular author. We don't spend much time talking about that author or his books, though. We talk about just about everything - including some stuff that is related to my work once in awhile.
It really doesn't seem that weird to people.
Or maybe it just doesn't seem that weird coming from me, all things being relative. Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
Actually, I make sure everyone knows it's a website that is pretty much for fans of OSC, because that sounds less creepy than "people I met online".
Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
It would have been fun to go to KamaCon.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
That's ok...you can have your own little Kiwicon.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
See I say Orson Scott Card and people look at me and go "who?"
AJ
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
sndrake and PSI, sounds very much like what I say. And I don't think it sounds all that weird to people. Though maybe they are secretly thinking: >_>
Posted by Da_Goat (Member # 5529) on :
I've never had the problem. I have decided, however, that if somebody I know from the rest of my life sees me talking to a Hatracker, and it's the first time I've seen the Hatracker in person, I'll tell my acquaintance "we just met". I haven't thought about if I see any of you TWICE, though.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
It's okay, AJ. My friends all know who he is because I make them all rad his books and give them as gifts.
(Ever since OSC-fan I've had an evil temptation to call you OJ. Or bananaj or bananoj )
[ August 18, 2004, 05:26 PM: Message edited by: PSI Teleport ]
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
I'd answer to OJ... its a long story as to why...
AJ
Posted by Lime (Member # 1707) on :
I don't try to explain. Vána explains our trips away by saying that we're going to "visit some of Dan's friends." The subject really hasn't come up with my immediate family, them being in Indiana and all.
Vána's family accepts it because they know I'm a bit strange, but keep good friends.
[ August 18, 2004, 07:23 PM: Message edited by: Lime ]
Posted by Psycho Triad (Member # 3331) on :
quote: Plus, this doesn't seem like a good hunting ground for psychos.
Ahem. Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
Oh, pardon me.
*hunts Psycho*
Posted by MyrddinFyre (Member # 2576) on :
*giggles at adam*
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
quote:trying to figure out how to explain to my roommates about the Hatrackers who invaded my apartment in January...
While I'm stuck trying to explain my roomates to Hatrack.
Hobbes Posted by Rappin' Ronnie Reagan (Member # 5626) on :
*giggles along with myr*
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
I've never had the opportunity to explain to people who don't know what an online forum is what Hatrack is. So I just tell them that I'm going to see a bunch of people I met on an online forum. As of now all my friends and acquaintances know what Hatrack is.
Although my mom seemed to think that Kamacon was somehow related to Bob and Dana's wedding..
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
Everything is somehow related to Dana & Bob's wedding. Just sometimes the relationship is more clear than others.
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
Of course...
(thinks on't for a while)
Bob and Dana!! How dare you cause WWII!!! I'm very ashamed with the two of you!
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
*giggle*
Posted by ak (Member # 90) on :
I have tried to share with my family. My mom listens to all my anecdotes about my friends and rolls her eyes and considers them all "imaginary" and wishes I would get some real friends. <laughs> She SO prejudiced against online friends! Every good thing that happens she dismisses as nothing more than fantasy and every not so good thing is only to be expected from the creeps and weirdos who are online.
But.... she positively adores Saudade and Andrei. She thinks they're wonderful and loves them to itty bitty bits. She treats them like grandchildren in every way, and I think she understands that Saudade is really my daughter. Saudade totally does not count for her as an internet person, though of course she knows how we met and how we mostly keep up between visits and phonecalls.
I've given up trying to explain. I just let them deal. That's one luxury of being grown up and independent.
My friends at work were just boggled when I told them I was going to the first Hatrack Picnic in SoCal in 1999. (Edit: Richard Berg whose memory is much better than mine, tells me this was in 2000.) "Let me get this straight... you are flying across the country to meet up with a bunch of people you've never met, one of whom is named Slash the Berzerker?" Yep, yep!
[ August 28, 2004, 10:56 AM: Message edited by: ak ]
Posted by plaid (Member # 2393) on :
I explain Hatrack as my way of finding out what more normal folks are up to. (Really. I live with a bunch of pretty freaky folks...)
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
I can't mention it to my parents, and all but one of my friends just roll their eyes, so Hatrack is a secret between just me and you.
Posted by MidnightBlue (Member # 6146) on :
Most of my friends think it's odd that I even read science fiction and fantasy in the first place. Actually, a lot of them find it odd that I read books at all. One of my friends that I mostly only talk to online because she lives a while away, thinks it's amusing that I spend a lot of my time on my favorite author's website. But, having never met any of you, I've never had to explain anything like flying across country just to meet people I've only talked to online.
Posted by Eduardo_Sauron (Member # 5827) on :
He...most people I know are already acquainted with my "nerdness". To tell you the truth, many of my Real-life friends were met online, trough the years, from BBSs, e-mail lists and forums. So, my family thinks that's preety normal, by now. Add to that, the fact I met my girlfriend (soon to be wife) online, and that's it.
Since Hatrack is the only foreign forum where I post, people usually say: "Oh, your wacky American friends", when I mention Hatrack. Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
I went to stay with my grandma in Green Bay before and after KamaCon, and had to meet all kinds of great aunts and cousins I'd never seen before. My grandma had gotten confused and thought I was going to Chicago for the same poetry workshop I'd gone to a couple years ago, and that's what she told everyone. So, having to explain the weekend was all kinds of fun. I ended up telling everyone it was a science fiction convention.
"Oh, like those Star Track things? Do you wear pointy ears? Did you meet any aliens?" *raucous laughter*
On the return trip, meeting still more cousins, I tried the tactic I'd heard Kat use.
"So, why were you in Chicago?"
"It was a meeting of an online book club I'm in."
"Oh, how fun!"
See, this really helps the public image, I think. People who go to "science fiction conventions" are nuts; people who are part of an online book club are adorably erudite.
And then there are my real life friends who know how unabashedly nerdy I really am. They say things like, "Oh, you're going to meet more of your Coat Rack friends? You dork."
But you see, I remain unashamed since those same friends secretly LURK HERE and occasionally post something making fun of me when they're bored. I'm talking about you, Gail, you big fat dork.
Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
I simply call Hatrack my "online community". People just raise their eyebrows, but then don't say anything. Especially since when I am talking about you, I am flushed and sparkly-eyed and obviously very happy.
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
Imagine how I had to explain the fact that I was going from Lyon to Lille, across most of France, in order to attend to a wedding of someone I never met... At first I was reluctant to tell people about this, but most of them thought it was cool, even when I told them that we 'met' online. But I've got good friends. And me and my brother, we're known as the Sci-Fi geeks around here. Especially me, I'm the one trying to get everybody to read Sci-Fi, and since most of them don't bring many books from home, they agree to read what I give them most of the time!
The harder part was explaining my parents what I was going to do. But they had the decency not to question me very much about it, so it all worked out just fine.
Posted by from Cythera (Member # 6749) on :
Every once in a while I would tell my dad a funny story or interesting point that was made on Hatrack, and he would find it amusing. I just had to explain to my mom about the Gainsville picnic... She said I would surely get murdered by a crazy internet stalker, but she agreed to let me go (yes I still need permission from mommy and daddy) if my dad comes with me (which I hope is ok with all of you! He's a really cool guy.) I am in college and supporting myself, but I still have to listen to them or my mother will not give me her taxes and then all my financial aid is gone, hehehe.
As for friends, one of my favorites just joined Hatrack actually. People already know I'm nerdy and crazy, so they're not surprised.
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Angst]](graemlins/angst.gif)
) So I got looks . . . and then we moved on to other subjects.![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Then again, people who have known me well for years responded to, "For a convention" with, "Oh, is this one of your Star Trek things or a Pern thing?" *chuckle*
![[Evil]](graemlins/evil.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Grumble]](graemlins/grumble.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
Yes, they use the sking from their love handles to graft pointy ears all the time. Stop pointing and laughing at me or I'll have to punch you in the throat."![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Hat]](graemlins/hat.gif)
![[Dont Know]](graemlins/dontknow.gif)
![[Evil Laugh]](graemlins/evillaugh.gif)