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Posted by Pippin (Member # 6042) on :

How/when did you learn to tell if someone "liked" you? Either i never learned or noone has ever "liked" me. [Dont Know]

Posted by ak (Member # 90) on :

If they seem to enjoy your company, and make time to spend with you.

If they seem unusually happy or animated or excited or joyful when you are around. If they start making jokes more often than is usual for them.

If they tell you how great you are a lot.

If they talk about you to their friends.

If they want to read the books you like, watch the movies you like, listen to the music you like.

If they laugh at all your jokes, especially the silly ones.

If they are just very very happy or goofy overall, doing crazy kid stuff like turning cartwheels or kissing trees or something. If they are grinning all the time for seemingly no reason.

If they have a burst of creative energy, generating lots of songs, poems, art, or whatever.

If they miss you when you're gone.

If they sit around in slack-jawed silence in your presence for long stretches, usually accompanied by an adoring expression. (See Hobbes' kamacon pics for an example of the expression I mean.) Or if they are able to make only semi-articulate noises with no real semantic content, such as "you", or "no you", or "nuh uh". In fact, a total short circuit of the speech centers, with near complete aphasia can be a very telling symptom.

So, does any of this sound familiar? [Smile]

[ August 26, 2004, 05:13 AM: Message edited by: ak ]

Posted by Rappin' Ronnie Reagan (Member # 5626) on :

quote:
How/when did you learn to tell if someone "liked" you?

I didn't. I became friends with Kylie. [Wink]

Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :

Well, but that only works if I know both the people involved. [Wink]

Posted by Pippin (Member # 6042) on :

quote:
So, does any of this sound familiar?

Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :

Also, aka is right. [Smile]

Although I usually realise after I find out that they like me, that I should have seen all these signs but didn't, because I was too busy worrying about whether they liked me or not. [Roll Eyes]

Posted by fiazko (Member # 5812) on :

So is that list an "If all of these apply" or "If any of these apply" because if it's any, AJ and I are gonna have to have a talk.

Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :

Pippin, how old are you?

I ask because I didn't find out that somebody "liked me" until, I think, april this year... that was the first time ever. I always felt really left out before then, but afterwards I realized it was silly, there was no reason for me to feel left out just because I wasn't liked, or because I didn't have a boyfriend... but you can ask blacwolve, I really let it get to me before then!

My advice is: Don't let it worry you. [Smile]

There's no rush!

Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :

And Raia, as usual, has good advice. [Smile]

As I said in the hug thread, "There's someone for everyone..." -- it'll be okay, Pippin. [Smile]

I know it can be awfully hard waiting, though. *hugs*

Posted by Pippin (Member # 6042) on :

quote:
Pippin, how old are you?

Im 25

Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :

What Kylie said (except for the part about me always having good advice, I don't think I quite agree [Wink]

). But anyway... ((((((((((Pippin)))))))))))) Just be patient! It'll all work out in the end.

I'm sorry, you'll have to put up with me and my insufferable optimism in these matters... but it really will.

Posted by Eduardo_Sauron (Member # 5827) on :

Pippin, sometimes you just find out when the people in question shout it in your face.

(Hehe...well...that's the way it is with me [Wink]

)

But it sure works.

Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :

For me -- the trouble was not figuring out if they "liked" me, but figuring out how much they liked me.

Like someone would show interest -- is he interested as just a friend? like me like a sister? or does he want something more? How do you figure out what goes on in their head?

FG

Posted by dabbler (Member # 6443) on :

Mentionitis.

Posted by Lost Ashes (Member # 6745) on :

Sometimes it's just easier and better to ask the other person. Why sit back and wait in quivering-lipped expectation?

Explain to the person that you really like them and then ask them out. The worst thing they can do is say, "No thanks" and if so, you can go on about your day and look for those other fish in the sea. And if they say "Yes!" then, well, no more time wasted in waiting!

One can be so shy as to actually miss opportunities while they wait "for the right time" or for "the other person to make the first move."

Posted by ak (Member # 90) on :

Asking is, in my experience, a mistake. Some things should be left undefined. They just turn out better that way. [Smile]

Resist the urge to define and capture something that can't be defined or captured. Just enjoy. That's the only rule. Recognize this as a holy gift and celebrate this chance to be alive and breathing. [Smile]

Posted by Eduardo_Sauron (Member # 5827) on :

or you could do as I did and write on a napkin: "Do you wanna date me?"

( ) Yes
( ) No

Amazingly, it worked. [Big Grin]

Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :

I have had people like me, but looked at their behavior and seen no clue. Sometimes it was because they were shy. While they were aware of my presence, they made sure to ignore me at the same time. Kind of a less mature approach to love. But more than once I had a situation where the guy and I did something together and he made a move (usually to hold hands). One time I thought about it and accepted the gesture. The other time, I said I wasn't ready (but later ended up dating the guy anyway.)

Posted by Javert (Member # 3076) on :

Ed, please tell me you watch Family Guy. That reminded me of a scene they showed where a teacher passed a note to a student saying "Do you like me? ()Yes ()No ()Maybe"...creepy that you should use the same message... [Angst]

Posted by Eduardo_Sauron (Member # 5827) on :

Beverly, I don't know...sometimes I used to think girls had a easier time. After all, people expect the man to make a move. The girl, then, decides if she accept or not.

Than, I started to think that, not being "allowed" to show that you like someone, in fear of being branded "easy" or something like that, isn't easy at all.

Why do we humans complicate things so much?

Posted by blacwolve (Member # 2972) on :

Methinks Raia has a selective memory...

Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :

*applauds Eduardo*

You totally understand! Yes, I think both sides have it hard. So often it is unacceptable for the woman to overtly show interest. It seems to turn guys off because of the way our society works. But it must be so hard on the guys too--all that pressure.

Edit: I know that a lot of guys will disagree with this, that they would love for a woman to overtly show interest. But this only applies to the women you are already interested in. Of course! We all feel this way. What about the woman you never considered? Would her showing interest turn you off, or would you start to consider being interested yourself? I still think women respond better to "wooing" than men do.

[ August 26, 2004, 10:37 AM: Message edited by: beverly ]

Posted by ak (Member # 90) on :

Oh, it is? Maybe that's what I've been doing wrong then. [Smile]

I just am completely honest, I guess, and let show whatever it is I am feeling.

Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :

ak--has it worked well for you?

Posted by Eduardo_Sauron (Member # 5827) on :

You can bet it IS hard.

Sometimes it feels like telepathy would be needed so that two people would eventually get together. That's even truer if both people are shy.

My girlfriend, for example, always says that, if she hadn't take things into her own hands and telling me straight that she liked me, I would have waited...well...a lot! [Wink]

And I still did the napkin thing afterwards! [Razz]

Yup! Human beings are complicate.

Posted by Risuena (Member # 2924) on :

I have been extremely clueless about this in the past. For example I rememer an exchange with a guy inone of my classes in college, it was something like:

Him: So is it true that all the girls in your dorm have a date to MilBall?
Me: I don't know, I'm going home.
Him: Oh.

I realized what happened about five minutes later and proceeded to mentally kick myself because I had a crush on this guy my whole freshman year. And that wasn't the only clueless exchange I had with him either.

Sometimes I can recognize when a guy likes me and I think its usually by how he looks at me and that he'll go out of his way to talk to me. There are other things, but it can all be very subtle. And I'm still very, very good at being clueless.

Posted by ak (Member # 90) on :

beverly... um ..... no. [ROFL]

Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :

[Wink]

Posted by Eduardo_Sauron (Member # 5827) on :

One of these days I watched a television show who gave some tips, about body language and stuff you should notice when talking to someone you like.

But it was sooo subjective.

Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :

Eduardo, telepathy seems like it would help....

But I am reminded of the time a guy and I had a mutual friend. She thought it would be cool if we dated. So she proceded to interfere. She would tell each of us what she thought would help bring us together. I don't think she ever actually told a lie, but she may have "played things up" or "played things down" as she deemed appropriate. She would tell the other things told to her in confidence.

Well, it severely messed things up, because there was all this expectation, the guy and I couldn't communicate well with each other, and it disipated into a confused mist, leaving me very hurt and disillusioned.

Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :

That is so cute! ^_^

Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :

This reminds me of the clueless exchange I had with Steve, that led to me getting a clue that he liked me (though it took me a couple of weeks to figure out even then)

Steve walks up to me (we were both hanging out in the Engineers' Lounge with friends): "Man your eyes are blue!"

Me: "They haven't changed color since yesterday as far as I know!"

(Yeah it took me 2 weeks to figure out he wasn't being a total moron and was instead giving me a compliment. [Blushing]

)

AJ
(Well it partly took me two weeks because I was systematically logically going through and discarding all of the alternative scenarios, between Steve being a moron and Steve liking me.)

[ August 26, 2004, 12:28 PM: Message edited by: BannaOj ]

Posted by Lupus (Member # 6516) on :

I have generally found that when you ask a girl out and she says yes, it is a pretty good sign that she likes you at least a little bit. [Smile]

Though I suppose it could be a pity yes...but I would gather you could tell that pretty clear on the date. [Razz]

Seriously though, it can be tough. Girls can be very subtle at time...it is very easy to miss signals. A great way is to have female friends...they can often clue you into things that you have missed.

Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :

I'm too nice to say "no". So maybe not such a good indicator. [Razz]

Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :

And I'm too freaked out by guys to say yes, so maybe I'm not either.

Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :

I would like to form my answer as an interpretive function:

code:

  
def SomebodyMightLikeMe(otherPerson):
    if ILikePerson(otherPerson):
        theyLikeMe = AskPersonIfTheyLikeMe(otherPerson)
        if(theyLikeMe):
            BeginRelationship(otherPerson)
        else:
            pass # do nothing
                 # TODO -- perhaps some wooing code should be inserted here
    else:
        pass # ignore the fact that they may like me

Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :

I learned to like cold showers.

As an added benefit, it saves on the heating bill.

-Trevor

Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :

Ahhhh, the beauty of logic. [Smile]