This is topic Weapons of Math Instruction in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.


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Posted by dread pirate romany (Member # 6869) on :
 
At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a
public school teacher was arrested trying to board
a flight while in possession of a ruler, protractor, setsquare, slide rule,
and calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he
believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being
charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions
by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of
absolute value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y" and refer to
themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined they belong to a common
denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

"As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every
triangle," Ashcroft declared.

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us
more fingers and toes."

"I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on
protracting us from these math-dogs who are
willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love
to inflict plane on every sphere of influence," the President said, adding:
"Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point,
and draw the line."

Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, read my
ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertain of: though they continue to
multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around their
necks."
 
Posted by CStroman (Member # 6872) on :
 
There using Nerdly Profiling now?

Dang. There's goes my plan to hijack a plane with math.
 
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
 
This is a job for Mathnet .

(sometimes you find fun things googling)
 
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
 
*cough*

[Razz]
j/k [Wink]
 
Posted by Telperion the Silver (Member # 6074) on :
 
[ROFL] [ROFL]
 
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
 
Oooh... Mathnet.

I was raised on Square One.
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
*sings*
Square One! do do doo, do do doo...

I loved that show. [Big Grin]
 


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