OK, guys? Seriously? We're not idiots, even if your market research seems to think so.
Right now you're wasting untold millions on advertising campaigns that actually turn me away from your products, and that's not in either of our best interests. Let me give you some advice before I abandon consumerism entirely and just walk around with a rice bowl.
Don't scream. It frightens me. When I hear you shrieking about insane, end-of-the-year, below-factory-invoice, no-money-down deals, I start taking side streets to avoid your car lot because I'm honestly afraid you've escaped from somewhere and taken over the radio station by force looking for hostages with good credit, bad credit, or even no credit.
Please, please stop using phrases like "Up to 50% off!" We know what "up to" means. We know what "up yours" means, too.
Posted by Christy (Member # 4397) on :
*is getting a "free" facial from Mary Kay this evening*
Anyone want to make a guess at how much money I'll be suckered out of?
My most memorable sales pitch was a great guy from the Steppenwolfe theater. He had me buying two years worth of season tickets without me even knowing it just by chumming me up. I made the horrible mistake of letting him know that my husband wasn't home. Luckily, Tom came back just in time and was able to cut me off to just the current year's season tickets which we also gave out as Christmas gifts, so all was good. I'm still not allowed to talk to sales people on the phone. *grin*
The sad thing is that I recognize the ploys and hate them too, but feel terribly sorry for the people who have to make their living that way.
[ October 06, 2004, 09:20 AM: Message edited by: Christy ]
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
You used the word 'coquettishly.'
I love it.
[ October 06, 2004, 09:24 AM: Message edited by: Scott R ]
Posted by Defenestraitor (Member # 6907) on :
"...even when it's written in teeny, tiny type on the inside flap of the envelope. In white ink. Backwards. In Navaho." Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Any time I can use "coquettishly" in a column, I feel good about myself.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Brilliant.
I was just mentioning to my roommate last night that I really think used car ads should use bigger fonts, in more outrageous colors, and maybe have some really edgy stuff about being crazy. You know - to get our attention.
Posted by CStroman (Member # 6872) on :
My father is in advertising. He did alot of campaigns for Public Transportation, Environment and the local zoo.
I think advertising has it's place when it doesn't rely on repetitiveness or obnoxiousness but instead originallity and belief appeal.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
There have been many times that I have paid more for a competitor's product just to spite the evil, evil people that subjected me to obnoxious ads.
Posted by blacwolve (Member # 2972) on :
What I don't get are the ads that have horrible things happening to the people who use the product.
Oh, if I use this product my wife will catch me having an affair and get her large friend to come and beat me up... I'll have to run right out and get that!
Posted by Defenestraitor (Member # 6907) on :
Originality and humor are the only reasons I'll pay attention to an ad. I turn up the volume when a "Real Men of Genius" ad comes on, but I lunge for the remote to change channels whenever those sick Quiznos rodents come on TV. But it's disturbing... for some ungodly reason, I always knew that Quiznos makes subs, whereas it took me almost a year to finally register the "Budweiser presents" introduction to the Real Men of Genius ads. Have any of you experienced something similar?
Posted by CStroman (Member # 6872) on :
I will never use Geico (sp?) insurance because of their stupid and obnoxious radio ads.
Also I have NEVER bought a car from a dealer...and probably never will. Repetitive car commecials are the worst. As sophisticated as a car is, they should be sending out catalogues in the mail or have a whole "HSN" channel dedicated to automobiles (trust me...it's a great idea so someone will probably do it).
But if I have to see another car of any company driving down the road on T.V....
[ October 06, 2004, 11:01 AM: Message edited by: CStroman ]
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
I have great respect for well-done ads that don't insult me.
A few years back a local car dealership had a series of radio commercials with a pleasant woman's voice saying, in a calm and friendly manner, "Hi. We'd like to sell you a car. But we know you don't want us to yell at you about it, and we don't want to. It hurts after a while, and people look at you funny. And playing with tricky rebates and hidden charges just annoys everybody. We'd rather use low prices, great cars, and devoted customer service to bring you back."
As I recall it did get them more sales, but only temporarily because their advertising company was better than their customer service turned out to be. But I loved the idea.
Posted by Olivetta (Member # 6456) on :
Christy, just keep reminding yourself that Mary Kay products have a 50% markup. That really blows.
I didn't know what the Monster.com adds were for, at first. I mean, I knew they were for Monster.com, but I had no idea what Monster.com was for. But the adds were funny.
Posted by CStroman (Member # 6872) on :
I think the one thing that I hate about Television advertising is that it really has only ONE goal.
Name Recognition.
It's no coincidence that I hate Geico commercials, but guess what, I know their name because of it.
They are hoping that when it comes time to buy insurance that a person will think of what insurance companies they can think of.
It works for alot of the very "weak minded" in a Jedi Mind Trick sort of way.
People who are very intelligent/higher EQ tend to be less impressed or swayed by advertising but buy based on larger factors such as price/quality/referrals/past history/etc.
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
As an aside, I highly recommend the book "Positioning: The Battle for Your Mind" by Al Ries and Jack Trout. Excellent, excellent book on how branding and targeted advertising works, with lots of examples of well- and poorly-thought-out advertising campaigns.
As a teen, reading that book, along with "How to Lie With Statistics" by Darrell Huff and a few books on semantics, allowed me to more easily understand and interpret just about anything I've ever heard since in any form of media, whether it be commercials, press releases, political speeches, religious sermons, etc.
Posted by Christy (Member # 4397) on :
Oh my goodness! The google ad at the bottom of my page is for "Temple worthy Hotties" Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
I so dislike that twitching old man in the Great Adventure ads. He scares me. Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
"The sad thing is that I recognize the ploys and hate them too, but feel terribly sorry for the people who have to make their living that way."
This is indeed Christy's greatest weakness when it comes to resisting salespeople. She's perfectly capable of recognizing when they're playing her, but her mental process goes like this:
"Oh, you poor, pathetic person. You're sacrificing your integrity and dignity in a desperate attempt to get me to buy something from you. You must really, really hate your job. I feel so incredibly sorry for you, and can't help wondering if I'd sink to that same level if I were forced to do sales work. Out of pity, I will buy these six hundred widgets. And the optional spray. But to punish you for trying to manipulate me, I will not order them in any custom colors."
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
Jack Trout.
I had to rewrite an entire 20-page corporate brochure because an exec had read Trout's Differentiate or Die on an airplane trip and had decided that differentiating ourselves was our new marketing strategy.
They gave me about 5 days, including a weekend, to read the book and "rework" the brochure.
So I guess I'm a little biased.
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
Repeating some stupid phrase over and over does NOT make me want to buy your dumb windows even if I did have a drafty house!
Posted by CStroman (Member # 6872) on :
I also hate the Pepto Bismol dancing commercials....But if you have that "problem" what else are you going to do?
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
I hate the commercials that suggest that people who use their products are dumb, and maybe need a little bit of protection from themselves. Insurance companies are the worst for this. I rememer an Allstate "Good Hands" commercial a few years back where these huge hands would keep catching these cute little cartoon people just before they would drive off of a bridge or into a house and then reset them on the road with a loving pat. And then there were those ads a few years ago, or Geiko, I think, where these cartoon people would do things like walk up to a button next to a mousetrap like device, push the button, and get slammed into the ground, or look into a cannon and get a cannonball in the face. The tag was something like, even if you've made a few mistakes, you can save money on car insurance. Why don't they just go ahead and say, "Even if you are a complete moron, you can save money on car insurance"?
And then there's the Dentyne commercial where the guy seems ready to cheat on his wife with a woman he sees in a restaurant. Good stuff. Dentyne: the gum of unfaithfulness.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
I am never, ever buying Tampax again after their "I hope you have enough for the rest of the class" commercial. I'm even considering switching from Always, even though I like their product better than any other one I've found, because they're made by the same people.
And I haven't eaten at Mc Donald's since I was 12 (9 years), and advertising is part of the reason.
Posted by Tammy (Member # 4119) on :
I like your work Mr. Bridges!
Christy, when I was younger I was a sucker for a sales pitch.
I'm old and mean now.
Leeches...all of them.
Posted by Olivetta (Member # 6456) on :
Me, too.
I'm getting to the point where I find it hard to get along with people in social situations, once I realize they work in sales. It's like I'm afraid I'll get it on me.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
Oh, come on, if I really like a product I'll keep buying it even if the commercials/salespeople suck. We've been paying for a Gold's Gym membership for three years now even though the management is pushy and slimy to the gills. They have all the equipment we need and they're close by. As long as we don't have to deal with the people too often.
Good thing diaper commercials aren't usually stupid or offensive. There's definitely a difference in diaper quality between Huggies and the generic store brands. I wouldn't want the ethical dilemma of buying Huggies even though their advertising stunk, but it's still better than cleaning up everything the cheap diaper didn't hold in. Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Great collumn as usual.
Too bad your advertisers read it and cancelled all their ads.
and hey, I'm in sales, and I'm not contagious...
well, not if you use the right ointment.
Posted by peterh (Member # 5208) on :
Out of personal curiosity, what made you choose the word "Navaho" over "Navajo"? Living in Arizona and working with many "Dine'" people, I wanted to know.
Also, the line about chimps on espresso is a classic.
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Lack of fact checking on my part. I'll change it.
And I did show this to our online advertiser yesterday, just to see his reaction. He was just glad I hadn't pointed out any advertisers by name...
Posted by dread pirate romany (Member # 6869) on :
Hilarious, Chris!!!
Christy, any time a Mary Kay lady wants to offer me a "free" facial, I tell her up front, "Sure, but I'm not buying anything." And I stick to it.
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
Tom, donb't be too hard on Christy about that...
She did the same thing fro you by marrying you, right?
Posted by Sunil (Member # 6892) on :
Remember if advertizing didn't work, they wouldn't do it. They ad that pushes one person away may sucker 10 more people in. But, the question everyone should ask themselves is: how succeptable to ads am I? If your article makes people think about that (which I'm sure it will) then it's definately for the greater good.
Posted by Christy (Member # 4397) on :
Hey, I'd like to point out that I didn't buy anything last night!
quote: I'm getting to the point where I find it hard to get along with people in social situations, once I realize they work in sales. It's like I'm afraid I'll get it on me.
Ask Tom about his friend Morrison. They had to have a talk because he was giving me sales pitches to buy things for Tom. I love him to death, but I seriously was going to kill him for a while, there.
Posted by Sara Sasse (Member # 6804) on :
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Grumble]](graemlins/grumble.gif)
![[Taunt]](graemlins/taunt.gif)
![[Laugh]](graemlins/laugh.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Monkeys]](graemlins/monkeys.gif)
![[Wave]](graemlins/wave.gif)