quote:. . . about a man who finds his large family too noisy and quarrelsome for the small hut in which they live. Desperate, he goes to his rabbi for advice and is offered baffling instructions: the rabbi tells him to bring his chickens, rooster, and goose into the house. By the time the rabbi has ordered him to bring in the cow, the man is beginning to see that crowded is a relative concept.
When the kids and I moved in to my parents' house, I had the distinct feeling that the kids and I were the chickens . . . and my boxes of stuff were probably the cow and the horse.
I was wrong.
A week before I left for Israel, it was decided that my brother, SIL, and niece would be moving in for a month or so. They were in Omaha, his job was for a year (and the year was over in August), and having spent all summer trying to find employment in cities across the U.S. and Canada, it was time to try the city where he grew up and has contacts.
Additionally, my youngest brother was here for Succos. So, when I got back from Israel, the house was occupied by: my parents (2), me and my kids (4), my brother & SIL & niece (3), and my other brother (1). Total: 10.
But . . . less than a week after I got back, brother#2 went back to school, and my dad left for 10 weeks in NYC. Total: 8. And my brother has a day job (teaching, although the details are in flux) and may soon have an early-morning-and-weekend job (assistant rabbi), and they have been looking at apartments. So, perhaps, in a few weeks . . . ?
However . . . my sister, two days after I left Israel, had a rather dramatic incident. Dramatic enough that it resulted in her being in a hospital psych ward. Her blood calcium was sky-high. After a initial treatments, and a battery of tests, she was diagnosed with hyperparathyroidism. Poor kid. Since my uncle and brother (and assorted other relatives) had things under control in Israel (she's there for the year), my parents stayed in the U.S. And dealt with doctors, insurance companies, more doctors . . . Let's just say it's been crazy and stressful around here. For all 8 of us.
And my sister is coming back here for the surgery. She arrives Thursday, although I believe she's going directly to the hospital. I assume she will be recovering here. And my dad will be back here tomorrow night, for 11 days.
eep. Total: 10. And I hate to complain, because my mom is under WAY more stress than I am. And my sister should be fine (God willing), after surgery. And thank goodness, I have a job, although I'm feeling overwhelmed by that at the moment too.
But I had a REALLY long day, that started with a court appearance that was mostly just scheduling a court date (as well as a preliminary date, so I'll be missing TWO days of work -- in FEBRUARY!), and proceeded to get more stressful from there . . . so I needed to vent.
[ December 06, 2004, 09:59 PM: Message edited by: rivka ]
Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :
Better vent than explode, eh. *gingerly hugs*
Hope things become less hectic soon. Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
(((rivka)))
And to think we feel crowded with two plus pup!
Vent all you want - it's what we're here for. That and vitual chocolate. Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*perks up* Chocolate?
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
*hands rivka a chocolate bar.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*hopeful* With nuts? (I'm a nutty sort of person . . . )
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
(((rivka))) Here is a message from your alternate life: We have 700 sq foot per person, but no money for groceries.
Also, I had hyperthyroid/psych issues once. I have a vague memory that my blood pressure was like 194 over something, and I was like "holy crow".
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
with many, many nuts.
Posted by aspectre (Member # 2222) on :
Can I interest you in some goats and cows and chickens?
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Certainly.
*takes livestock and places in large net*
*hoists*
*drops on aspectre*
Thanks! I feel much better now.
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
*hands rivka earplugs and a blindfold*
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*dons earplugs and blindfold, munches on nutty chocolate, and dreams of 700 sq ft/person*
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
*hugs rivka*
(Actually your thread title, reminds me of my nutty boss... we had to do a test under pressure, and his first idea was to buy a pressure cooker from Target. Then he asked me how to use it! I was like, "Uh, I don't cook, how would I know how to operate the thing?!" It didn't hold enough pressure well enough (surprise, surprise) so he had parts custom machined in the back, what he should have done in the first place.)
AJ
[ October 20, 2004, 10:57 AM: Message edited by: BannaOj ]
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
*hands over more nutty kosher chocolate*
I actually have amercian chocolate in my house right now - my mum just came back from a conference in Orlando. I have Hershey's hugs, mini Mr Goodbars, Krackels and other assorted treats.
They are nice.
But I like french chocolate better.
I like american sweaters bought by my mum (x5) the best though. Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
LOL, AJ! I cook lots, but I almost never use a pressure cooker (don't own one). They're deliberately designed to vent if the pressure is too high. Silly man.
Sweaters, imogen? Do you mean woolly jumpers? Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
I think he was trying to jury rig it and plug the vent... I just stayed far, far away the entire time, I'm accident prone enough as it is!
AJ
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Oy. Sounds like the guy I had next to me for one lab class back in college. Four hours, twice a week, for ten weeks of me worrying what he was going to set up wrong that time, and whether it would explode in my direction. Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
::pat pat::
(((rivka)))
Posted by Sara Sasse (Member # 6804) on :
(((rivka))) !
Posted by Derrell (Member # 6062) on :
(((rivka)))
Posted by dread pirate romany (Member # 6869) on :
rivka
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*feels loved* Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
The good news is that my brother and SIL have been looking at likely apartments. Odds are they will move out some time in the next couple weeks. Still close enough to see often, but no more cheek-to-jowl. *thumbs up*
The bad news is that my sister is driving me completely and totally up a wall. If I could figure out how to afford it, I would be looking for an apartment too! And we just moved IN two months ago . . .
But I figured: I can get through a month. And if it's six weeks before she leaves, I might survive that as well. (It's even possible that SHE will. ) But today, it was discovered that one of the meds she was given in Israel has to be allowed to wear off before pre-surgical labs can be done. That is, before surgery can even be SCHEDULED.
It may take as long as six weeks for them to wear off. So now, realistically, we are looking at 3 months or so.
Can I run away from home?
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
quote: *hopeful* With nuts? (I'm a nutty sort of person . . . )
Yes... it's one of the many things we love about you, m'dear! Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Well, the GOOD news is that I went away for the weekend. Thus, I neither exploded nor imploded -- and let me tell you, I was close.
The bad news is that a weekend far away from these people to whom I have the great good fortune to be related (and away from work, but that's true of most weekends) got me back to neutral; but I can't say it really recharged me. *sigh*
Meanwhile, my dad, who went back to NYC just over a week ago, took a plane to Atlanta on Sunday. Had chest pains, and wound up in the hospital . . . but it doesn't seem to be a heart issue (although one of his cardiac enzymes is off), and they're not sure WHAT the problem is. He was supposed to be released this afternoon, pending a stress test. But he hasn't been, and I haven't had a chance to get the update on why from my mom. (I think it's a bureaucracy thing, rather than a medical one.)
My sister finally saw the assistant surgeon for her pre-surgical meeting. The actual surgeon will be out next week, and the week after that is Thanksgiving . . . so it will probably be another 3 weeks before she has surgery. She is NOT happy; and is doing a good job at spreading the misery.
I am torn between exhaustion; trying to balance everything at work (which would be a feat even if home were calm and serene; since I am now teaching the most classes I ever have AND working in the office 15 hours/week); trying to NOT kill my sister (and feeling some degree of guilt over not being more sympathetic to her plight -- then again, she's being self-pitying enough to make up for it); dealing with my kids' frustration with the ongoing drama and crowding; feeling guilty about the time I spend online but feeling MORE stressed when I deprive myself of that outlet . . .
My brother and SIL should be out in a couple weeks. Then again, they were going to have been out by now, a couple twists back.
*sigh* I'm so tired, and it's Monday. And I have three tests to write. And I got lots of sleep over the weekend!
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
Hang in there, rivka!
Here's a cute little anecdote to cheer you up. One of the boys that I teach in the shul (I teach the K-1 alpeh bet class) told me that he gave his toy to a classmate. Then he asked, "Miss Keren, did I do a mincha?"
Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :
"There's a very old Yiddish folktale."
I love those stories! I'd read the whole post but I gotta get to school. Ttyl!
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*giggle*
Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :
OK, I just finishd reading. Either I forgot to set my watch or I simply read VERY fast.
My obligational (word?) life starts at 6:15 and ends at 17:30 3/5 days in school. The other, 4th day, I finish at 16:45. The 5th day is at 15:00, and at 18:00 I attend a weekly youth club until 21:00 or so.
To add to the curriculum, I'll have a long day with Aikido added, starting at 7 and ending at... Oh jeez! The short day will get even more congested, I have homework, Hatrack and personal studies (I need to know more in computers, and in physics).
That's just to say, I know what occupation is, at least from my point of view.
Hold in there, rivka! We're with you perpetually!
Jonny
Posted by Derrell (Member # 6062) on :
Rivka, if you kill your sister, she won't have to have the surgery. Hang in there.(((rivka)))
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Derrell, that thought has occurred to me. Think of the money my parents (well, more their insurance company) would save! Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
My mom just left for the airport. She's going away for the weekend -- to NY, to spend time with my dad (and some cousins).
My brother, SIL, and niece are going to San Diego for the weekend. Additionally, their furniture will arrive Tuesday . . . not here, at their new apartment. So they should be out by midweek. (I'm a bit doubtful on this one, since it's been "we'll be out by next week" twice before -- but it's promising.)
My sister is spending Shabbos (and also Sunday?) with a friend.
That's right, it will be me and the kids, for the first weekend in months. WOOT! Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
Yay! Enjoy the peace and quiet!
Posted by Sara Sasse (Member # 6804) on :
Wonderful, rivka.
Remember -- no enjoyed time is wasted time.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
It has been really nice. And my sister, who came back this evening, has actually been relatively non-provoking . . . or I've been less reactive, I'm actually not sure which.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
I'm glad your reprieve was restful. Hopefully it recharged you enough to make the rest of this bearable!
Dagonee
Posted by sarahdipity (Member # 3254) on :
Wow I just went back to Michigan for my grandmother's funeral. And I was at my wits end after being constantly around people for 5 days. I'm really not sure how you're managing. Do you at least all have your own rooms? Or, do you guys have people crashed on couches and the floors?
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Mercy, rivka - I just saw this thread (don't know where my head's been at except for buried in work) -
You hang in there! If Nathan and I were closer to your area, you could come stay with us.
*Sends rivka soothing thoughts, peace and quiet moments*
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Bedrooms are not so much the problem -- after the various remodels my parents did in the 20+ years they've been in this house, combined with the many bedrooms that were the reason they bought the house to begin with . . . well, there are (*counts*) four bedrooms upstairs, two downstairs (and that's not counting the two offices, which in theory could be bedrooms, but not in practice).
So while my daughters are currently having to share with their cousin and aunt, and my brother and SIL are a bit cramped in the guest bedroom downstairs, everyone has a real bed.
The real issues are: different wake-up times; sharing one kitchen (including the ever-popular, "where the heck is all the ______ I just bought?!"), two showers, one washer and dryer; and divvying up responsibilities.
Oh, and the fact that certain people think the computer in my room means they can come in my room without my permission.
One task on today's list: buy and install a lock.
I'm feeling relatively recharged, thanks, Dags.
And Shan, I appreciate the offer . . . but I think is we tried to squeeze me and three kids in your place (unless it's a lot bigger than I'd guess you'd need for two people), we'd just be transferring the problem. Thanks, though! Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
awww, shucks, rivka - I squeezed a friend and her two kids in for several weeks a few years back - we did okay.
Have fun installing the lock!
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Never made it to get the lock yesterday. *sigh* So my sister decided that she HAD to be in here, again, in spite of my mother's edict. Her charmingness went downhill from there. She's very miserable, and trying to spread it. With some success. *SIGH*
My poor mother came back to the tzuris of my sister's impossible nonsense (and having failed to keep an appointment? I gather), and my brother and SIL's stress over trying to move out (to WHERE is not entirely clear, hence the stress) tomorrow. I confess to escaping to my room for most of the evening (away not being an option because of needing to help the kids with stuff).
All this after a REALLY long day at work. I am so tired of dealing with all the stuff that gets blamed on me in my position in the office -- much of which has to do with the fact that the primary secretary has seriously lacking communication skills, and a great need to be correct (even when she's really, really NOT). I'm sure this is really improving my coping skills, humility, and is helping me work on my need to confront (I've actually gotten pretty good at both choosing my battles with her, and quietly accepting blame for things that are not my fault) -- so great for my character. Not, however, real good for my stress levels.
*has an idea* Can I lock her and my sister in a room for 24 hours? Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
Yes.
I'm not sure how, but if you figure out a way you have my approval.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Lotta help you are. Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
Anytime, ma'am. Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Oh, there are ways.
Posted by esl (Member # 3143) on :
Let me count them.
Go Rivka! You can do it Posted by Christy (Member # 4397) on :
Behold the strength of Rivka the great! Hang in there!
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
I LIKE the idea of locking two such deserving individuals up together . . . just remember, rivka, brilliance is not necessarily flashy - and the race does not always go to the loudest! You have much more forbearance than I!
(((rivka)))
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*shamefaced* Not so much . . . my sister pushed a little too hard last night (literally, as it happens) . . . and we're both sporting bruises today.
Plus today was "get financial threats from The Jerk day." Darn thing wasn't on MY calendar. Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
rivka, that's rough. I'm an only child and I would totally flip out if someone invaded my space like that.
You need some new shoes.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*laugh* Actually, I totally do! And since one of my big toes got hurt in the ah, altercation, I particularly do today.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
My sister and I always ended up wrestling. I got her pinned every single time.
But she'd never, ever say uncle. Usually she'd yell, "I'll DIE before I say it!" and flip me off.
Not that swearing, rude gestures, and stubborness is genetic or anything.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Nah, you were just raised wrong. Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
Go get the lock. And make it a deadbolt, because if I were her after this I would slip a normal lock with a credit card just to show you you didn't "win" and I could stil use the computer if I wanted to.
Um, not that I'm admitted to being that petty in regards to my siblings or anything.
Oh, and get the shoes, too. Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
We had a solid colored shower curtain. My sister had a propensity not to lock the bathroom door. We had lots of big cups in which to put cold water.
And chuck over the side.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*sigh* I'm fairly certain she has no idea how to open a lock with a credit card. And I don't want to have to drill holes in the door. But I'll think about it.
Ain't sisterly luv great? Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Hmmm.
Another time, I got the duty to wrap my sister's christmas gifts. My sister has an uncanny "shake" knack where just from a shake, she can figure out what the gift is.
I hated that.
So I borrowed all my mothers random tins and separated and shoved my sister's gifts in those.
Then duct taped them.
And then wrapped them.
My sister went to test them. Ran out to confront me. I told her what I'd done.
My mother was right there. She laughed and left the room. My sister them promptly flipped me off and stormed out. Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
LOL.
My brother had the habit of unwrapping and then rewrapping presents, the little sneak.
So, on Christmas Eve after he had looked and snuck off to bed, I unwrapped most carefully the presents, removed the gifts, and rewrapped the empty boxes.
(I wonder if this is why he dislikes me . . . )
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
BRILLIANT!
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Thank you, thank you Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*sigh*
I should be feeling less stressed and less crowded.
My sister had her surgery last Thursday, and has a ticket to leave on the 14th. Looks like she will even be recovered enough to do so. Moreover, she has been working very hard at being both human and helpful. (I need to tell her again that I appreciate that.)
And my brother, SIL, and niece have moved into their apartment . . . BUT, SIL and niece keep coming over here for large chunks of the day.
Why is this a problem? Niece is 2.5, and is often allowed to wander unsupervised -- not for long, but it doesn't TAKE long, for her to:
get into my son's brand new toy, and scatter the pieces everywhere, including where I stepped on some
dump out another toy that I seem to end up picking up everytime they have been here
have tantrums, frequently (now, she's 2.5, so this is normal, but -- and I feel very selfish for saying this -- I cannot deal with someone else's kid's screaming now)
take food that is sitting out on the table for my kids
etc.
I got upset quite on Thursday, when I got home from a VERY long day (two wisdom teeth extracted, among other fun things) to discover that the house that had been all picked up when I was there at noon now had toys scattered all over (some of which I stepped on) and dishes and garbage (not much, but annoying nonetheless) on the had-been-clean kitchen counter. I also thought that my son's brand new toy had had pieces broken (turns out they were not). I asked my mom to request that my SIL not be here with the niece without someone else here. (Which got my brother all worked up, but such is life.) So today, I got home to discover that she and my sister were letting the niece run loose, where she had gotten into my son's leftovers (which he had been planning to eat later), and then was sitting in the middle of the kitchen screaming.
*cry* Look, I have HAD a 2.5-year-old, and wanted adult company. And I get that we have more-convenient laundry machines (that don't need quarters) here. But I cannot TAKE this anymore -- and I am sick of being made to feel like a b**** when I object.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
So I went downstairs, to have supper, and specifically tried to say something to my sister . . . who had hysterics at me, because I got my niece upset before. Apparently, she is convinced I don't like her. Well, I'm none too happy with the fact that she's being allowed to run loose in houses that are not hers (it's absolutely reasonable, in her own home, but not here, where there are other people's things everywhere, especially since my son is currently sleeping in the living-room, so as not to have to deal with stairs), but I happen to like the kid.
So now I'm supposed to feel guilty (I do a bit, but mostly I'm angry at being put in this position) about objecting to feeling repeatedly invaded in what is currently my home. My SIL could go home after this afternoon -- I am home!
I hate this. I really, really, really hate this. And I'm STILL note done with my grades for the past trimester -- although I am getting close.
Posted by Space Opera (Member # 6504) on :
Many hugs. You have so many stresses all at the same time right now! I for one don't blame you for being annoyed with your sister. Frankly, I'm not surprised she doesn't understand why - parents who don't control their children usually don't understand why others would have complaints about their lack of parenting. Sorry I don't have any solutions here, but I'm a sympathetic ear if you need one.
space opera
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Thanks.
Just to clarify, the person hissing at me was my sister -- my SIL just seemed taken aback (and was long gone by the time I went down to supper).
[ December 06, 2004, 11:16 PM: Message edited by: rivka ]
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
*hugs*
I'm lucky at the moment - my brother and sister are too young to cause any major problems and Tony's brother, sister and brother-in-law are all overseas.
We still manage to get inter-continental dramas, but I'm sure they would be worse if we were all in the same country - let alone house!
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
Won't you be glad to get your own place, where no one else has a key and can't come in unless you let them in?
However, in the spirit of the thread, you're right, it could be worse. You could live in my house. What a nightmare. It's actually so bad, I told my husband he could send a tape into Extreme Home Makeover.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*grin* But I bet they're all coming in for the wedding, neh? Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
Rivka - yes, yes they are.
*twitch*
I am sure they will behave. I am sure everyone will behave...
*twitch*
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
Extreme Home Makeover - liposuction for houses?
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*giggle*
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
You've never seen Extreme Home Makeover?!? Oh my gosh. It's the most pathetically sappy show I've ever seen. A sob fest on a weekly basis. They take some poor pathetic family who has some extrodianary circumstances (Like a guy and his wife and 4 kids who adopted his 5 brothers and sisters afer his parents died, or the family who bought a fixer upper house, got started and their daughter was diagnosed with cancer and all their time and money went to keeping her alive and the house is falling down, or the woman who adopted two kids, finally saved up enough money to renovate her house so she didn't have to sleep on the couch anymore (after 12 years) and the contracter took her money, gutted her house and disappeared.) They end up leveling most of the houses, and rebuilding them with huge rooms and the most outrageous appliances, pools, plasma TVs, computers, I mean, they must spend around a half million bucks to redo these homes in a week.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Kayla, she's in Oz -- their TV shows have yet to become quite as wacky as ours.
Posted by Derrell (Member # 6062) on :
(((((rivka))))) Haven't the child's parents heard of a little thing called discipline? As a child, I was taught to repect other people's belongings.
You have a right to expect her parents to keep an eye on her. I don't think you're even close to being a b****.
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
Nope, we don't have it here yet.
Sounds like I'd like it though - I'm a sucker for the sappy "we'll help you out" tear jerker renovation shows. Here they tend to be lower key though - people get a new backyard. Or a couple of rooms renovated.
Posted by Rappin' Ronnie Reagan (Member # 5626) on :
I'll trade you all the U.S. renovation shows for more McLeod's Daughters.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*sigh* She's their only child, and their ideas about discipline are very different from mine. It's not that she doesn't get in trouble for these things -- she does. It's that they seem to expect a 2.5 year old to predict consequences to a degree that is unrealistic, IMO. Instead of staying with her (which I know full well is exhausting, but it's part of parenting a small child!), they expect her to remember she can't touch stuff.
And if she doesn't, they chide her, but then also say things like, "well, she's only 2.5, what do you expect?"
I don't think I did any better when I had my first, necessarily. But that doesn't mean I want to deal with their parenting choices all the time, either. They may parent as they wish -- in their own home, where it doesn't keep affecting me.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
That is annoying. One of my pet peeves is the father who always has his 1.5 year old daughter at church and never watches her. She does things that are age appropriate but not acceptable (like taking toys out of other kids' hands, poking babies, etc.), and even dangerous (like repeatedly going straight for the lamp cord and socket in the foyer). I always seem to be the one who catches her and has to try to stop her before a situation develops. (Her mother is very ill and doesn't come to church.) Luckily for everyone else (and the child herself), I don't have a problem taking things away, grabbing her, or doing whatever is necessary to keep her and others safe, then picking her up and taking her (screaming, of course) to her father, but when I explain, he gets huffy with me... Why can't you just watch your child, dude? Then this wouldn't happen!!! Posted by Sara Sasse (Member # 6804) on :
rivka, I'm so sorry. You have had it unbearably rough, and you have not been at all out of line.
(((rivka)))
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
(((rivka)))
You're a strong woman with clear boundaries, m'dear - and as I know from personal experience, nothing infuriates people without boundaries more than people with boundaries . . .
Hang in there - keep your sense of humor handy, and remember - you probably have at least two dozen temporary abodes scattered throughout the entire world of Hatrackeria . . . so, if nothing else, you can at least envision living there and either a) counting your blessings or b) having dreams of living in la-la land . . . Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Ouch, rivka. That is both draining and annoying.
I don't know what you can do except send SIL a bill for the things your neice breaks.
Which probably isn't very practical, I know.
Hang in there.
Dagonee
Posted by AvidReader (Member # 6007) on :
((rivka))
Have you looked into government assisted housing? I don't know how it is where you live, but my step sister's place in Ohio is nice. She's a single mom so she gets a big discount on the rent, but it's still a decent place.
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
rivka, how annoying for you!
I know what it feels like to have people think you're a witch because you expect people to make their children behave reasonably in public (or in your home).
Honestly, I'd probably take the Southern approach and ask my SIL repeatedly if the baby is okay - until she got the message and kept an eye on the baby. I've had good results with that and it keeps the adults in the situation from getting hostile.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Ooooh, Mrs. M, that's a good idea. Can I use that, too?
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
Be my guest. I can vouch for the results.
Also, if children are running around wild in a restaurant or store, stop them and ask them loudly if they're lost. Odds are their parents will hear you and come get them.
I know it's passive-aggressive, but parents have a hard time accepting any kind of parenting criticism or advice. This way, you can prevent the child from being careless and/or destructive, without drawing the parents' wrath.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
kq, exactly!
Sara, thanks. I needed to hear that.
quote: You're a strong woman with clear boundaries, m'dear - and as I know from personal experience, nothing infuriates people without boundaries more than people with boundaries . . .
*lightbulb moment* Ah! Ok, framing it that way helps a lot.
quote: Hang in there - keep your sense of humor handy, and remember - you probably have at least two dozen temporary abodes scattered throughout the entire world of Hatrackeria . . . so, if nothing else, you can at least envision living there and either a) counting your blessings or b) having dreams of living in la-la land . . .
Cooool!
Dags, the things that get broken, etc. are mostly inexpensive -- they're significant because they are a needed piece of a kit, or just because they belong to one of my kids. Besides, I'm not sure how my SIL and brother feel about me right now, but that would almost certainly make things ugly.
quote: Have you looked into government assisted housing? I don't know how it is where you live, but my step sister's place in Ohio is nice. She's a single mom so she gets a big discount on the rent, but it's still a decent place.
Thanks for the suggestion, AR. I have a decent job -- the idea of us living here this year is to help me save up some money and because as of mid-January, my parents will be out of town. So moving out -- even if I did qualify for government assistance -- is not really an option.
Mrs.M, I tried similar tactics, when they were still living here. It worked for about 15 minutes at a time . . . maximum.
Thanks for all the advice and suggestions. Today my sister babysat my niece -- NOT here. So at least I seem to be sort of getting through.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
quote:Dags, the things that get broken, etc. are mostly inexpensive -- they're significant because they are a needed piece of a kit, or just because they belong to one of my kids. Besides, I'm not sure how my SIL and brother feel about me right now, but that would almost certainly make things ugly.
I knew it wasn't practical. But imagining it in your head might help. Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*giggle* Ok, that it definitely might! Posted by mothertree (Member # 4999) on :
I was just treasure hunting and came upon this thread. Unsupervised toddlers in other peoples houses are at greater risk for poisoning accidents/death, so it is possible to bring that up. My niece at my mother's house would run into things like flux paste and super glue. I think that happened on Thanksgiving and Christmas of the same year.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
I was surprised to see this bumped to the top. But since it has been, a brief update:
My parents left a week ago. The house is much quieter and emptier . . . and I have to do all the cooking and shopping. So it's a mixed bag. But mostly it's going well.
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(((rivka)))![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
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rivka
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So now, realistically, we are looking at 3 months or so. ![[Kiss]](graemlins/kiss.gif)
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