This is topic It's Time For LOTR Christmas... in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.


To visit this topic, use this URL:
http://www.hatrack.com/ubb/main/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=2;t=030090

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
Yes, it's that happy time of year.

Some of you may recall this thread from last year in which I proudly presented an incomplete song cycle of LOTR Christmas Carols; all your favourites, with LOTR lyrics.

With the trilogy at an end (pause for weeping) and the Hobbit in the dim and distant future, what is there to keep us warm through this winter of our discontent? How can we forge onwards? Well, guess what? I've been at it again. Late at night I've been typing away. From my workroom, muttered snatches of songs have been heard, all attempts to peek through the door have been thwarted by the mist of mystery that surrounds the project.

And, now, as Christmas approaches... I am proud to unveil... the LORD OF THE RINGS Christmas Tune and Carol Song Cycle. Featuring 30 of the season's most popular songs (not Last Christmas though, I assure you, I've heard how much people dislike it), it is one of the classic cases of madness without the brilliance.

(Disclaimer: This lack of brilliance manifests itself in three ways.
1. Difficult lyrics. Although perfectly easy to sing, sometimes three syllables have to put where only two existed before. But it doesn't matter how many extra syllables you fit into a line, does it ?
2. Bad, bad, bad rhymes. "Chum" is a word that I assure you I never use unless it has to rhyme with "come".
3. All episodes in this cycle are from the movie. The books already have a song cycle.

Anyway, am I procrastinating or am I procrastinating? We begin... at the beginning...

Oh and *spoilers*:

quote:

---

A Lord of the Rings Christmas

For a Chorus and Characters.

1. Do You Know What I Know? (Do You Hear What I Hear) – Galadriel

Said the Dark Lord to the little rings
Do you know what I know?
Darkest lord to the little rings
Do you know what I know?
A ring, a ring most evil of them all
I will forge it and all then will fall
I will forge it and all then will fall

Said Isildur to the Darkest Lord
Do you hear what I hear?
Isildur to the Darkest Lord
Do you hear what I hear?
A war a war the sound of allied horde
And a finger severed by my sword.
A finger severed by my sword.

Said the evil ring to King Isildur
Do you see what I see?
Evil ring to King Isildur
Do you see what I see?
A bow, a bow, an ambush, an attack
And an arrow stuck in your back,
Yes an arrow stuck in your back.

Said Smeagol to his poor cousin.
What is that I wants it?!
Smeagol to his poor cousin Deagol.
What is that I wants it?!
Preciousss, Preciousss, shining in the sun
And a murder can never be undone
And a murder can never be undone.

Said Bilbo making riddles in the dark.
What is this I’ve found here?
Bilbo making riddles in the dark.
What is this I’ve found here?
A ring, a ring, a magic band of gold
A pretty little thing to behold,
Yes, a pretty little thing to behold.

---

What better way to start an epic trilogy than with a quick backtrack to cover all the history so we're up-to-date. Do You Hear What I Hear lends itself perfectly to the passing of the ring. I was most pleased to discover this.

I have no life.

EDIT: I'm going to put them up one by one to prevent a very very very very long post.

[ December 20, 2004, 03:01 PM: Message edited by: Teshi ]
 

---

Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
*applauds*

Wonderful!
 

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
Thanks, Dag. Now I have sufficient ego to post #2 ( ):

quote:

---

2. Bag End (Deck the Halls) – Hobbit Chorus
* denotes Falalala’s

Today’s the day of Bilbo’s birthday,
*
Eleventy-one not aged a day,
*
Could it be the ring he’s wearing?
*
Watching fireworks no one’s caring!
*

Bilbo stands to make a speech,
*
To Tooks and Brandybucks and Proudfeet,
*
Look, and now he’s disappearing,
*
Guess it was that ring he’s wearing.
*

Feeling old he leaves the Shire
*
Leaves the ring, his one desire,
*
Gandalf comes to warn poor Frodo,
*
“Keep it secret keep it safe!”----(this is really quiet and then the Falalalala’s are really loud again)
*

They find out its really evil,
*
Sauron is a stupid weasel
*
Frodo has to muster courage
*
Sam is hiding in the verge.
*

---

*dons professor glasses and fluffy grey professor hair*

This is an early work. You can tell because the rhyming is... sometimes non-existant. "Courage" and "Verge" only share the last two letters and "Frodo" and "safe" share none of the same letters. You can also note the laziness regarding the "fa la la la la"s.

What was I thinking?

EDIT: On second thoughts, Dag is probably kicking himself right now.

Ah well. Next one comes tomorrow morning.

[ December 19, 2004, 11:15 PM: Message edited by: Teshi ]
 

---

Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
I keep switching between hearing the falalalalas done by a chorus line of Hobbits in Chipmunk voices (which is not fair to the Hobbits) or by a bunch of Uruk-hai in a Tonto/Tarzan/Caveman from SNL voice.

Dagonee
 

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
Either one is good. I mean if you're not reading STAR every time you come to the fa la la la la's you're doing pretty well.
 

---

Posted by Tater (Member # 7035) on :
 
Does it have to be about Christmas? Can it be about potatoes? I promise it's grand: Potatoes
 

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
Wow, Tater, that's been updated since I saw it last! Much more watchable .

It was linked to a while ago but the visual movie thing was very all over the place. So funny .
 

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
*shameless, shameless bump*

quote:

---

The Hobbit Song (The Christmas Song) Hobbit Chorus

Hobbits drinking by an open fire,
Ringwraiths knocking at your door,
Looking for Frodo of the Shire,
But he doesn’t live here anymore.
Because he’s gone to take the ring back,
With his gardener named Sam,
Though it’s been said, many times that they’re dead…
Merry Christmas, and a Pippin one too.

---

quote:

---

Here We Come A-Fleeing (Here We Come A-Wassailing) – Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin

All:
Here we come a-fleeing to
The wooden doors of Bree
Here we come to Pony inn
No Gandalf to be seen

There are Ring-Wraiths on our tail
We’re so scared we’re turning pale
And we’ve never been so far
Away from home
We’ve never been away from home.

Frodo:
I will call me Underhill
We must stay out of sight
Sam:
See that man he’s watching us-
Pippin:
I added to our plight!

All:
Chorus

Frodo:
The ring-world was quite scary.
I get out; am snatched away.
Strider asks me if I’m frightened
“Yes,” I quickly say:

All:
Chorus

All:
At night the Ring-Wraiths come
And try to kill us in our beds
But the trick that Strider made
Saves our curly heads

All:
Chorus

---

This is a good example of trying to fit large amounts of plot into a small space.



[ December 20, 2004, 02:49 PM: Message edited by: Teshi ]
 

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
I'm not listening to your lack of posty-ness. I can only put it down to stunned silence .

quote:

---

Frodo He Got Injured By The Witch King (Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer) - Chorus

Frodo he got injured by the Witch King
When the wraiths they cornered him that night
In the stones of Weathertop they found him
And stabbed him though he disappeared from sight.

He’d been sleeping at the campsite
When the Hobbits made a fire
And by the time he put the light out
The ring wraiths put them all in danger dire.

They surrounded the poor Halflings
All were dressed in cloaks of black
But t’was Frodo they were after
They circled ‘round him for the last attack.

Frodo he got injured by the Witch King
When the wraiths they cornered him that night
In the stones of Weathertop they found him
And stabbed him though he disappeared from sight.

It was too late when old Strider
Arrived with flaming torch to fight
The wound inflicted in poor Frodo
Was one that made survival chances slight.

But the day was saved by Arwen
She arrived upon her horse.
She took Frodo ‘cross the river
And used her magic healing power force.

Frodo he got injured by the Witch King
When the Wraiths they cornered him that night
In the stones of Weathertop they found him
And stabbed him though he disappeared from sight.

---

I like this one. It lends itself very well to the subject matter .
 

---

Posted by KarlEd (Member # 571) on :
 
Brilliant. Simply brilliant!

 

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 

quote:

---

Boromir’s Song (Little Drummer Boy) – Boromir
*Denotes par rum pum pum pum

Go to Rivendell*
My father said to me*
I did not want to go*
Please let my brother go*
My father’s evil.*
And really dumb.

I got on my horse*
And brought my round shield too*
I said to Faramir*
Remember today little brother*
Ignored my father.*
He’s really dumb.

---

I know the Boromir flashback is in Two Towers but plotwise it comes here, just before Rivendell. Now I know the last line ruins the seriousness of of the scene (this has to be one of my favourite scenes of the movie) but I nevertheless much enjoy this particular one.

Better still there's a reprise!

[ December 20, 2004, 03:07 PM: Message edited by: Teshi ]
 

---

Posted by dread pirate romany (Member # 6869) on :
 
These are great Teshi- can I post them to other boards?

[ December 20, 2004, 03:13 PM: Message edited by: dread pirate romany ]
 

---

Posted by AvidReader (Member # 6007) on :
 
Sorry, Teshi, got distracted by cults, PC insanity, and disability advocacy. Crazy time of year, huh?

Persoanlly, I loved Merry Christmas and a Pippin New Year.
 

---

Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
 
You have WAY too much time on your hands....

Thank God!



Kwea
 

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
Of course you may spread the word .

Nah, AR, I'm just fishing for compliments .

But there's more, of course:

quote:

---

Elrond’s Council (We Three Kings) – Elves, Dwarves and Men

We three races of Middle Earth are,
Come to Rivendell from very far.
Come to debate the one ring’s fate,
The hour has grown late

Chorus: Ring of power, ring of might,
Evil words by firelight,
Always find them always bind them,
Searched for by old Sauron’s eye.

Boromir stands and says it’s a gift.
“With this ring, our troubles will lift.”
Strider gets up and takes a stand,
“To wield it none of us can”

Chorus

A fight breaks out amongst the men,
Elves and dwarves join in and then,
A Hobbit says he’ll take the ring,
Frodo is great…who is that!?
<pause, as the singers recollect themselves>

Chorus

Old Gandalf will go as his guide,
With elf and dwarf and man beside,
Hobbits show up to join the line,
The Fellowship of the Nine.

<Classic key change>

Chorus

---

I expect to recieve a lawsuit about this one from the Hobbits, since a contingent was definately at this meeting and they are not involved in the three races named in the song.
 

---

Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 
::very impressed::

Do you take requests, or do you really have all of these already cooked up?
 

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
I have them already "cooked up" as you say. But if you name a part of the movie that you think I skimmed over (and there are certainly small bits at least) I'll be happy to put an extra part in .

EDIT:

quote:

---

Uruk (Dreidel) – Chorus and Saruman.

Uruk, Uruk, Uruk,
I made you out of mud
And when you’re dry and ready
You’ll go and chase man blood.

---

quote:

---

The Moria Carol (The Huron Carol) -Chorus

T’was in the caves of Moria
When all the light had fled
Fellowship is in the dark
The dwarves are very dead.
Gandalf doesn’t know the way
Someone else is in the caves.

Chorus: Dwarves they dug a little too deep
What’s that below?
Something dark and terrible.

This tomb belongs to old Balin,
Gimli is quite sad.
The book says they cannot get out
Took’s a foolish lad.
They have a cave troll Boromir said,
Beware or we’ll all end up dead…

Chorus

They thought that Frodo was deceased
But Mithril saved his skin
Something worse than Orcs is here
Fight; we’ll never win.
Running is the way to go
Down the staircase there below

Chorus

Cross the bridge as c-g-i
Gandalf turns fights with staff
But fiery creature with a whip
Gets the final laugh.
Tumbling down the deep ravine
Hobbits crying; saddest scene…

Chorus

---

quote:

---

Autumn Middle Earth (Winter Wonderland) - Chorus

With the ring, they are going
Down a stream that is flowing.
They are being chased
The race is fast paced
Paddling through a autumn Middle Earth

Young Frodo has the feeling
That Boromir thinks of stealing
The ring for his use
(It tries to seduce)
They’re camping in an autumn Middle Earth.

On the hillside Boromir tries to take it
But Frodo is too smart and runs away
The Orcs attack the camp but Frodo makes it
His Hobbit friends show up to save the day

Later on, while defending
Boromir gets his ending
He is very brave
But he goes to his grave
Dying in an autumn Middle Earth.

The rest find Sam and Frodo left together
And M and P were kidnapped by the Orcs
They vow to run through wind and rain and weather
The Fellowship has reached a path that forks.

Far away, see two Halflings
As they walk away from all things.
Together they’ll head
T’wards Mordor with dread
Walking in an autumn Middle Earth
Walking in an autumn Middle Earth

---

quote:

---

Oh Balrog (Oh Christmas Tree) – Gandalf and Chorus

Gandalf:
Oh Balrog, oh Balrog, your fiery whip closed round me.
Oh Balrog, oh Balrog, into the dark you pulled me.
Though we fell down, we ended up.
We fought upon a mountain top.
Oh Balrog, oh Balrog, your fiery whip closed round me.
Oh Balrog, oh Balrog, your fiery whip closed round me.
I kicked your butt, and now you’re dead,
But so am I, my clothes have fled.
Oh Balrog, oh Balrog, your fiery whip closed round me.
I sank into a white abyss,
I’m pearly white, something’s amiss.
Chorus:
Oh Gandalf, oh Gandalf, your pearly whiteness blinds us.

---

Gandalf's Pearly Whiteness is something that has become legendary, along with Figwit (Frodo is great; Who is that?) so of course had to be mentioned.

Although this event actually happened earlier, chronologically, it is a flashback both here, at the beginning of the second movie (as of course you all know), so I have chosen to include it here. Although it ruins the surprise...


 

---

Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 

 

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
This one, although it probably represents the height of madness, has a special place in my heart. It is best if started slowly and slowly speeded up throughout.

quote:

---

Run Run Run (Jingle Bells) – Legolas, Aragorn, Gimli, Gandalf.

All (but Gandalf):
Run run run,
Run run run
Run run run, run run.
Run run run
Run run run run
Run run run Run run run run.
STOP!

Legolas:
A red sun rises now,
Blood’s been spilt this night.
Gimli’s lagging far behind,
It must be from his height.

All (But Gandalf):
Run run run,
Run run run
Run run run, run run.
Run run run
Run run run run
Run run run Run run run run.
BROOCH!

(Faster) Run run run,
Run run run
Run run run, run run.
Run run run
Run run run run
Run run run Run run run run.
HORSES!

All (but Gandalf):
The Rohirrim killed the orcs,
And possibly our friends.
Aragorn:
But wait the Hobbits got away,
All (but Gandalf):
And went to see the Ents.

Ride ride ride,
Ride Ride Ride,
Ride ride ride ride ride.
Ride ride ride, ride ride ride ride,
Ride ride ride ride ride ride ride.
GANDALF!

All:
Ride ride ride,
Ride Ride Ride,
Ride ride ride ride ride.
Ride ride ride, ride ride ride ride,
Ride ride ride ride ride ride ride.
ROHAN!

---

Pure brilliance, eh?
 

---

Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 

 

---

Posted by AvidReader (Member # 6007) on :
 
Run, run, Gimli, we've gotta make it to town.
 

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeext:

quote:

---

Oh Little Town of Edoras (Oh Little Town of Bethlehem) - Chorus

Oh little town of Edoras
Perched on a rocky mound.
In to the ear of your old King
The Wormtongue’s lies do sound.
The Prince is dying in his bed,
Eowyn is alone.
There’s no more cheer in this hall here.
Than in a graveyard shown.

O who is this? Four travellers
Arrived from places far.
Take their weapons away from them
And don’t forget the staff.
Oh dear, we did it anyway.
The White one enters in.
And casts aside the man who lied.
And frees the enslaved King.

“Where is my son?” the old one asks,
And to his great dismay.
He’s told that his beloved one,
Has lately passed away.
“Shall we kill the Wormtongue, sir?”, they said.
“Or should we cast him out?”
“Much blood’s been split, with this man’s guilt.
I say we free the lout.”

The Orcs are marching on the town,
The King won’t stay and fight.
To Helm’s deep we must go to stay,
A sad and awful sight.
“My ancestors lie buried here.
Beneath these flowers white.”
A horrid thing for the poor King,
His son lies in the night.

---

No parent should have to bury their child...
 

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
A little light (and brainless) relief:

quote:

---

Silent Ent (Silent Night) – Merry and Pippin.

Silent Ent, ponderous Ent.
Calm and slow, always dull.
Talks like thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii (continues to end of song)s

---

quote:

---

Go Tell It on the Mountain (Go Tell It on the Mountain) - Chorus

Chorus: Go tell it on the mountain
Over the hills and everywhere
Go tell it on the mountain
That Aragorn is dead.

He was fighting with an Uruk
Who rode upon a Waurg
But his foot became entangled:
He fell into a morgue.

Chorus

Oh Legolas and Gimli
They looked so very blue
When they got to the stone fortress
Eowyn looked sad too.

Chorus

But Aragorn was lucky
He fell in H2O
His horse found him and they he
Rode back to say hello.

Go tell it on the mountain
Over the hills and everywhere
Go tell it on the mountain
That Aragorn’s not dead.

---

quote:

---

T’was the Night Before Helms Deep (T’was the Night Before Christmas) – Aragorn

Twas the night before Helm’s Deep and all through the fort,
Every creature was stirring, the tall and the short.
The men were all waiting and ready for war.
The youngest but children, the oldest senior.

The women were nestled far back in the caves,
But Eowyn wanted to fight with the knaves.
And I was preparing, donning my mail,
While Legolas stood waiting, with his pigtail.

The troops were not many, their future seemed blue.
They’d seen many winters, or maybe too few.
I talked with a boy who was frightened and scared,
He was no more than thirteen; I hope he’ll be spared.

When all of a sudden with the call of a horn,
Our shadow was lifted, our hopes were reborn,
For what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But rank upon rank of elves drawing near.

They were led by old Haldir, the elf from the wood,
And had really been coming as quick as they could.
And a cheer rose from sore throats that called through the rain,
The promise of victory, we’ll not fight in vain!

Now Haldir! Now Aragorn! Now Elven and Human!
On Theodan! On Gimli! On Leg’las and E’wyn!
To death for our country! To death for Rohan!
Now fight for your, fight for your, fight for your land!

The rain beat down steadily, as ranks formed their lines.
We stood on the battlements waiting for signs,
Of Orcs all approaching, with pointy-end axe,
Our swords at the ready, our friends at our backs.

The Elves had their bows up and Legolas said,
“Aim right for their eyes now, that way they’ll be dead.”
He spoke very softly and I heard through the rain.
The prayers of the men; their haunting refrain.

A problem had Gimli; he’s not very tall,
To Legolas said, “I can’t see o’er the wall!”
The Elf-Prince replied to him as he complained.
“Shall I get you a box? Or shall I explain?”

The Orcs- how they chanted, the men how they sighed,
Orcs by the thousands, and many more beside.
How could we beat them? I thought as I stood.
A shiver ran though me when I hoped that we could.

---

quote:

---

The First Arrow (The First Noel) - Chorus

The first arrow,
That was shot at Helm’s Deep,
Was shot by an old man
Who had just three teeth.
He had seen to many winters, as Gimli would say,
He was drenched by the rain and was not very…<pause> mirthful.
Arrow, arrow. Arrow, arrow.
Into an orc-neck
And shot by a bow.

The Orcs they came in force,
A-swarming up the walls.
Bringing their ladders
And suff’ring great falls.
The elves and the men, they fought side by side,
But they had to retreat and poor Haldir he died,
Haldir, Haldir. Haldir, Haldir.
Brave ex-immortal,
For him shed a tear.

They hid themselves inside,
And the doors they made fast
But they knew that they would
Have to fight to the last
All together they rode out and to their great joy,
White Gandalf and Rohirrim came to Orcs destroy.
Gandalf the white, Gandalf the white,
Come has the wizard
Who will end the fight!

---

This one was half written last year and half this year. The "... mirthful" thing was Not My Idea. The rest you can blame on me .
 

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
Oh no! This thread fell!

quote:

---

Merry Merry and Happy Pippin (Happy Christmas/War is Over) - Chorus

And so this is Orthanc
Old Saruman’s Tower
The Ents march on forward
The revenge of the flower.
And so this is Isengard
The Ents break the dam
And water engulfs it
The orcs in a jam.

A very merry Merry
And a happy Pippin
The Ents they have swamped it;
Orthanc is drippin’.

And so this is Orthanc
And Saruman’s mad.
On horses from Rohan
A group that is glad.
They try to negotiate
But Saruman’s deaf
Stabbed by the Wormtongue
And falls to his death

A very merry Merry
And a happy Pippin
The Ents they have swamped it;
Orthanc is drippin’.

War is over if you want it
War is over now.

---

First: I apologise for the "drippin'" rhyme. Second, it was a shame that I had written all the post-Gondor/Mordor war before I realised how good this song could have been there, but it works just as well, if not better, as the bridge that *so effortlessly ( ) joins the second and third movies.
Third: What is the difference between Orthanc and Isengard? Originally I had Orthanc, then I thought it was Isengard, then I just changed it back to Orthanc, because the tower is definately Orthanc (I googled it to check).

 

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
Although it's clear that I'm entertaining none but myself, I shall continue to exercise my right to post.

quote:

---

I Saw Pippin Take the Palantir (I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus) – Random Soldier

I saw Pippin take the Palantir
Out from Gandalf’s sleepy arm that night
I saw the little creep
Get up to take a peep
He thought that that I was tucked
Up into my blanket fast asleep

Then I saw Pippin start to writhe in fear
He saw a tree all white and tot’lly dead
What a scary thing to see
When Pippin saw that tree
And we learnt of Sauron’s plans that night.

---

This one came to me like a bolt from the blue. What could be more perfect? Originally it was sung by Merry, but of course Merry isn't tucked up in his blanket fast asleep when Pippin's curiosity overcomes his good sense. I rather like this one.
 

---

Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
 
This thread will hide my presence like an evil ring or something. Well done, Teshi! I would have emailed you but have yours hidden.
 

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
I do?

I do!

*fixes that*

hi pooka!

EDIT: There. I have no reason to hide anymore . And because I'm feeling generous (read: shameless once again), here's another:

quote:

---

Faramir’s Song (Little Drummer Boy Reprise) - Faramir

Go to Osgiliath*
My father said to me*
I did not want to go*
He said my brother would go *
My father’s evil*
And really dumb

I got on my horse*
Without a round shield*
I rode to certain death*
Is this my final breath?*
My father’s evil*
And really dumb.

---

No, you are not having a feeling of deja vu. This is the reprise of the intelligently named "Boromir's Song". And it does no justice to this scene in the movie, which makes me cry every time!



[ December 21, 2004, 09:56 PM: Message edited by: Teshi ]
 

---

Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 
::continues to be delighted by this thread, and amazed at the effort that Teshi put into it::

::didn't want to keep gushing every other post, so slowed down his positive comments::
 

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
Heh heh. I'll promise I'll stop fishing for compliments now; it's a terrible trait. *reels in fishing rod*

I realise it's a ton for people to read!
 

---

Posted by Goody Scrivener (Member # 6742) on :
 
Yep, it's a ton, all right, especially when I haven't logged in here in days LOL

My favorite so far is Merry Merry and Happy Pippin. Keep it up!
 

---

Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 
I also am delighted and amazed. I didn't post during the day, and then went over to a friend'ss house for dinner and was gushing about this cool woman on my internet forum who had re-written the words to a bunch of carols to tell the story of LOTR...

So if I was home, I would have given you validation the first time you implied you were in need of some. Now keep posting.
 

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
Thanks everyone- the thing is that I have no one else to show these to! (Or rather I do, but they'd be unappreciative!)

And ElJay, how can I resist a direct order?

quote:

---

Oh Come All Dead People (Oh Come All ye Faithful) – Aragorn, Cursed Dead
Aragorn:
Oh come all dead people,
Fight for King of Gondor,
Come all ye citizens of dark, creepy cave.
Come and behold him,
He with sword of Isildur.
Cursed Dead:
Oh come let us fight for him,
Oh come let us fight for him,
Oh come let us fight for him,
Aragorn, the King.

---

quote:

---

Once To Royal Aragorn’s City (Once in Royal David’s City) – Soldiers of Gondor, Pippin.

All:
Once to royal Aragorn’s city
Sauron’s army came to fight.
Denethor he saw the Uruks
And he lost his mind with fright.
Gandalf knocked the Steward down
And defended Gondor’s town.

Soldiers:
We fought orcs, and trolls and Nazgul
But the Witch King was too strong
Old white city will this be your ruin?
You’ll be chalk dust if this goes on long.
We went up to level two
Wond’ring if we’d last the night through.

Pippin:
Faramir was on a stretcher dying
Denethor he thought that he was dead
He said he would burn him like a heathen
So to find White Gandalf I fled.
Faramir we saved from fire
But we could not save his sire.

All:
Tables turned on the evil army
As from Rohan horses did arrive
And from out the ships of reinforcements
Ar’gorn led an army not alive.
Oliphaunts and Orcs they fell
And we saved the city where we dwell.

---

I especially like the chalk dust line (if I do say so myself).

Oh, and although you cannot tell in this carol (there was no space) this part of the story contains the thing that annoys me most about the movies (other than Legolas skiing). It becomes clear in the Extended Edition that Faramir's tomb is across and bridge and down a slope from the end of the jutting out thing at Minas Tirith. But we are expected to believe that he runs down a long corridor, across this bridge up a slope and all the way down the jutting-out bit with his clothes entirely on fire!



(It should be used to teach children the stop drop and roll rule.

[ December 21, 2004, 10:59 PM: Message edited by: Teshi ]
 

---

Posted by AvidReader (Member # 6007) on :
 
*shameless bump*

Sorry, Teshi, I was reading the LoTR prequel idea. I love this time of year. More LoTR than you can shake a stick at.
 

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
Thanks AR, since you did the shameless bumping for me, I can quite easily tack on the next song!

quote:

---

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Mordor (It’s Beginning to Look a Lot like Christmas) - Chorus

It’s beginning to look a lot like Mordor
Ev’ry where you go.
Caves that are dark and damp,
Spiders as large as a tank.
Fiery sky and Frodo’s sword a-glow.
It’s beginning to look a lot like Mordor
Smeagol’s evil trap.
And the ugliest sight to see is the webbing that will be
‘Round a Hobbit wrapped.

And then dear Samwise’ll come and he’ll see his old chum
And he’ll fight old Shelob and win.
Sting it’ll glow and the Orcs they will show
And they’ll take poor Frodo within.
And Sam will learn his friend’s alive but much to his chagrin.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Mordor
Ev’ry where you go.
Cantankerous orcs abound
Bickering all around
No single one survives in their chateau.
It’s beginning to look a lot like Mordor
The last long march awaits.
And when Samwise returns the ring, and the sword that is known as Sting,
They go to meet their fates.

---

EDIT: I forgot to make my commentary!

The credit for the first few lines go to my friend (up to tank).

This song is the "chum" rhyme culprit. You have to admit, though that although "chum" is a word more at home in Rupert Bear Stories than LOTR, it certainly fits and rhymes well in context.

I like the word cantankerous .

[ December 22, 2004, 11:13 AM: Message edited by: Teshi ]
 

---

Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
 
Oooh, yay! LotR songs are back!

I loved the original thread, too.
 

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
Ah, but Eru, this time there's more, More, MORE!

quote:

---

O Come O Come Oh Eowyn (Oh Come Oh Come Emmanuel) - Chorus

O come O come oh Eowyn
And ransom captive Theoden
Who injured lies by Witch King here
Until the neice of Rohan appears.

Oh she! Oh she!
Oh Eowyn
Shall come to thee oh Theoden

“Oh come!” says mighty Angmar lord
“No man can slay me with the sharpest sword.”
“I am no man,” says Eowyn fair
And kills him with her blade right then and there.

Chorus

O come! O come! oh Eowyn
And comfort captive Theoden
Who dying whispers "I know your face",
And slips away enwrapped in your embrace.

Chorus

---

I love this carol so I had to include it in a more serious moment.

[ December 22, 2004, 04:48 PM: Message edited by: Teshi ]
 

---

Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 
:: bump! ::
 

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
I'll take that as a hint ...

quote:

---

Sauron the Big Eye (Frosty the Snowman) - Chorus

Sauron the Big Eye
Is a jolly nasty soul
With a mount called Doom and a golden ring
And a penchant for control

Sauron the Big Eye
Has a spotlight eye they say
We’ll just kill his mouth and distract his gaze
Just to make him look away

Sam and Frodo reach the hill
And Frodo is worn out.
Sam can never take the ring.
But he carries his friend about.

Oh Sauron the Big Eye
Watched the fight outside his doors
While the hobbits made their way inside
To bring an end to all the wars.

Sauron the Big Eye
Only found this out too late
Frodo nearly turned out evil too
But Gollum his finger ate.

The ring it melted back into
The red volcanic fire
And Sam and Frodo did escape
And they talked about the Shire

Oh, Sauron the Big Eye
Was exploded into dust
And we saw the orcs fall in a crack.
And the evil tower combust.

Crumbly crump crump crumbly crump crump
Look at Sauron go
Crumbly crump crump Crumbly crump crump
Good case of quid pro quo

YEAH!

---

quote:

---

Silver Bells (Silver Bells) - Chorus

Silver bells, silver bells, it’s coronation time, in the white city.
Ring a ling, hear them ring,
Soon Aragorn will be King.

All the men cheer, all the flags flap, all a bright white and gold.
As Aragorn is crowned King of Gondor.
Look here’s Samwise, look here’s Frodo, battled long for this day,
See the white tree grow flowers in May.

Silver bells, silver bells, it’s coronation time, in the white city.
Ring a ling, hear them ring,
Soon Aragorn will be King.

---

 

---

Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
 
Sung by Elrond (earlier in the story): Oh the first of the fellowship, whom will it be?

Frodo-the bearer of the ring.

Oh the second of the fellowship, whom will it be?

Samwise the servant
And Frodo the bearer of the ring.

Oh the third of the fellowship, whom will it be?

Merry good friend
Samwise the servant
And Frodo the bearer of the ring.

Oh the fourth of the fellowhip, whom shall it be?

Pippin the hungry
Merry good friend
Samwise the servant
and Frodo the bearer of the ring.

etc. etc. till

Oh the twelth of the fellowship, whom shall it be?

The one ring who shall rule them all
Gandalf the white wiz
Once Gandalf the grey
Aragorn the True King
Borimor the angry
Legolas the gay elf
Gimli's dwarven fury

Golllll-uum the thief

Pippin the Hungry
Merry good friend
Samwise the servant
And Frodo the bearer of the ring.

[ December 23, 2004, 12:30 PM: Message edited by: Dan_raven ]
 

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
Hooray! You did whay I could not do, Dan! (I'm stuck on ten, five and six). It's going to be the finale of the carols.

Mine is somewhat different, as the twelfth day is "twelve disks in total" .

I'm up to the last song, not counting The Twelve Days of Lotr (pron. Lotreh)! I don't want to post it! Perhaps I'll wait until this evening!


 

---

Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
 
I'm not done:

You're a mean one Worme Tongue
You really are a heel
You're as cuddly as a cactus
You're as charming as an eel
Wormtongue
You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel

Your monster Saramun
Your Hearts an empty hole
Your brain is full of spiders
You've got garlic in your sole Saramun
I wouldn't touch you with a
39 and a half Foot pole

You're a vile one Witchy King
You've got termites in your smile
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile
Witch King
Given the choice between the both of you I'd take the a seasick crocodile

You're a foul one Smeagol lad
You're a nasty wasty skunk
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your sole is full of skunk
precious Smeagol

The 3 best words that best describe you, are as follows, and I
quote
Stink, Stank, Stonk

You're a rooter Sauron
You're the king of sinful sots
Your hearts a dead tomato squashed with mouldy purple spots
Sauron

Your sole is a appalling dump heap
Overflowing with the most disgraceful
Assortment of deplorable rubbish
Imaginable, mangled up in tangled up knots

You nauseate me, Sauron
With a nocuous super nos
You're a crooked jerky jockey and,
you drive a crooked horse
Sauron

You're a 3 decker sour-crout and toad stool sandwich
With arsenic sauce!

[ December 23, 2004, 03:02 PM: Message edited by: Dan_raven ]
 

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
It's perfect! The "LOTR Villan Song"!
 

---

Posted by dread pirate romany (Member # 6869) on :
 
OMG, Teshi, we (me and my 7 yo son and 13 yo neighbor boy) have spoent the last half hour reading these. These are AWESOME!!!
 

---

Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
Let me express my appreciation again - these are great.

And the Grinch one is awesome too, Dan.
 

---

Posted by Trisha the Severe Hottie (Member # 6000) on :
 
Keep 'em coming!
 

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
This is the last of the plot, except for the unfinished twelve days of Christmas, which I shall attempt to finish and a the Faramir Secret Pool and Oliphaunts scene, which has been missed!!! I will write that one and fit it in where it belongs, but meanwhile...

quote:

---

I’m Dreaming of a Grey Vessel (I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas) – Frodo, Sam

Frodo:
I’m dreaming of a grey vessel
That sails to Valinor by sea
Where Elrond sees us
And Gandalf leaves us
And Bilbo says goodbye to me

Sam:
I’m dreaming of sad morning
When Frodo bids us all farewell
And he leaves me standing alone.
But I’m here where I should be; I’m home.

---

Sometimes, I can hardly believe the trilogy is over. I remember learning about FOTR a few days before it came out, and being excited even though I'd only a vague idea about the books. I never guessed then where it would take me .
 

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
*bump* Because it's Christmas EVE!
 

---

Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
 
Teshi, as I was reading through these, I kept thinking "Now THIS one is my favorite." I was going to post which was my favorite, but I kept reading and laughing harder at the rest of them, they just got better and better.

I'll have to print them all out and sing them to my sister, she'll get a kick out of them.

Merry Christmas to all and to all in Middle Earth!
 

---

Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
 
Ok, I still think my favorite is "Run Run Run." That's the one that made me laugh the hardest.
 

---

Posted by JemmyGrove (Member # 6707) on :
 
Oh heavens!!! (better than the alternative, isn't it?) Teshi you're brilliant!! I've spent the last 40 minutes alone in my family room singing to myself and laughing, and so very impressed that you covered all the major parts of the ENTIRE STORY!! Wow, wow, and yet another WOW!! "Run run run" isn't as sharp and intelligent as some of the others, I have to agree with Narnia that it was the funniest thing on the list.
 

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
Yeah, sometimes the simplest, silliest is the funniest .

EDIT: Spread the word! Share them with your amigos and amigas!

[ December 24, 2004, 03:31 PM: Message edited by: Teshi ]
 

---

Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
 

quote:

---

O Come O Come Oh Eowyn (Oh Come Oh Come Emmanuel) - Chorus

---

I love it! It was always one of my favorite carols, and now it's even better!

I also tried to write a "12 days of LotR" song a year or two ago. *runs off to see if she can find it*
 

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
Eru- Check in the link at the start of this thread to last years. I think it's there.
 

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
*SHAMELESS BUMP*

Iiiiit's thaaat time off yeeaarr...

Now I know I had another thread of this last year, but it has fallen into the void that is the Hatrack Search.

Until December 25th, when my subscription to my internet site runs out, you can read the entire cycle in order at www.teshi.org

Merry Christmas (Again!)
 

---

Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :
 
*dies of the awesome that is this thread*


 

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
*monday bump*

I won't bump it again, I promise, just people often do see things on weekends :/
 

---

Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 
Teshi, I love this thread. I'm so glad you bumped it.
 

---

Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 
Don't I remember that you had a site of your own that you'd posted all of these on? Does that still exist?
 

---