Hatrack River Forum: Poetic device

This is topic Poetic device in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.

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Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :

An Unexplained Encounter Across a Gymnasium

When I first saw you
My heart went flutter
My stomach went quease
My eyes rolled into my head
And I felt like I wanted to sneeze

I studied you closely
For there was no doubt
There was something about you –
Maybe your snout??

No ring thru your (finger) nose
I remember it well
That fragrance that lingers
Oh! What a smell!

From your head to your toes
In my mind it is etched
I grabbed for my nose
And then I retched

That stupid look
That goofy smile
While spouting gibberish
All the while

My heart was hooked
My brain was cooked
And it all resembled
Eggs Benedict.

Your eyes are like limpid stagnant pools of stale swamp water.
Your ears like oversized prunes left in the sun.
Your hair resembles a chimney sweeps broom.

I saw you again and again
My blood was foul sludge in my veins
I tried to resist
But I couldn’t desist
This torment was causing me pain.

I wanted to tell you
But had no way
Having you near me
Makes my day.

What could I do
To soothe my pain?
I baked you cookies.

(P. S. I’m not always this serious.)

- BLT & Kiwi (sliced of course)

Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :

It makes me think of Georgia Nicholson.

Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :

Brilliant, funny. (Unless I missed something.)

Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :

Never heard of Georgia Nicholson. But yes, I'll accept brilliant and funny. [Big Grin]

Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :

Score 1 to (for? Damn prepositions) me!

Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :

She's a character from books by Louise Rennison, if I remind correctly. Hilarious. Here is the official site of the serie. I don't think it has been updated lately, but it's better than nothing.

Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :

People, we have a perfectly good Orginal Potry thread for poems like this. Don't make me beat you with a Newbie Stick. [No No]

Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :

Tom Tom Tom Tom Tom. Would you really feel THAT much better if I posted this poem over there? [Wall Bash]

Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :

Well, at least it wouldn't be a Dobie.

Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :

Are Dobies really that bad? Honestly? [Dont Know]

Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :

Yes. Only Dobie could get away with Dobies, and even half of his were pointless.

I believe I've appreciated a grand total of four Dobies in as many years. [Smile]

And I won't say which ones, for fear of encouraging people.

Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :

[Cry]

Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :

(((Quid)))
There, there. I like your poem. You don't need the approbation of meanie Tom.
Tom : [Taunt]

Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :

Thanks, Anna! I like it, too. I think it's rather funny in an odd and almost scary kind of way. [Angst]