Hatrack River Forum: Some Guy Just Peed On My Lawn

This is topic Some Guy Just Peed On My Lawn in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.

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Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :

So here I am, minding my own business, happily posting on Hatrack, when I hear a screeching of tires outside my house. I look out my window and see a car on the main street pull a U-turn, backtrack, and pull up in front of my house. One of the car's tires is flat. The driver gets out, looks at the flat tire, and gets back in his car. After a minute he gets out and peers at the tire again. He jiggles his hubcap, feels around in the wheelwell, and gets back in his car. He gets out of the car again, makes a circuit of it, and feels around in the wheelwell again, this time for quite a while. He then gets back in the car. Once again he emerges from the car, this time crossing to my yard. I assumed he was going to come up and ask to use my phone or something, but no, he was just looking for a convenient place to go to relieve himself, apparently. When he finished he got back in his car and drove off, ignoring the damage he was doing by driving on a flat tire.

Very strange.

[ January 08, 2005, 10:32 PM: Message edited by: Noemon ]

Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :

Yep. He's drunk

Posted by Christy (Member # 4397) on :

Was he drunk?! How very strange.

Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :

"Drunk" was the first thing I thought too, but he didn't move like a drunk.

Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :

Hey, if all he did was pee on your lawn, you got off lucky.

Posted by Vadon (Member # 4561) on :

... um... right. Crazy. ^_^

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :

I think he was drunk. I've been known to sign my name in the snow when I wasn't drunk enough to be stumbling.

No way should he have been driving, though. Geez.

Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :

Yeah Kayla, when he started fumbling with his pants I was thinking "Please just be getting ready to pee. Please just be getting ready to pee".

I wonder what he was feeling around in the wheelwell for?

Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :

He wanted to make sure his stash of coke was still there.

Dagonee

Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :

Yeah, I probably should have called the cops. I couldn't see his license plate though, and he'd have been long gone by the time they arrived at the scene.

Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :

Checking his stash actually occurred to me, Dag.

Posted by Boris (Member # 6935) on :

Reminds me of a stand up comedian's set I heard once...

Posted by Insanity Plea (Member # 2053) on :

Well, I'm not sure it's a bad thing...he did fertilize your lawn for you.
Satyagraha

Posted by Speed (Member # 5162) on :

You would not believe the day I just had. I was driving to my drug deal, and I really had to go. I thought I was going to make it in time, then my tire blew. Fortunately, it was in front of a house with an extra absorbent welcome mat.

Sorry, what was this thread about?

[ January 08, 2005, 11:17 PM: Message edited by: Speed ]

Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :

[Laugh]

Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :

[ROFL]

Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :

In college, a friend of mine thought my room was a bathroom, and peed in my chair. And a really snotty girl who thought she was better than everyone else around her came in to my husband's room when he and his friends were watching tv and pooped on their floor.

Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :

I imagined that scene as a great commercial for deadbolts, Elizabeth. [Smile]

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :

How and why would you ever do that?!

Posted by WheatPuppet (Member # 5142) on :

quote:
...pooped on their floor.

Yeah! That showed them! [ROFL]

Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :

I assume alcohol was involved?

Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :

Alcohol, and NO-ONE asked me to join! Shame on you...

If he was drunk, I think he 'fertilised' the ground more than you think. Jiggling around his crotch, while drunk, makes me think that he, well, did a very rude *thing*. He masterly debated.

Did you verify the liquids as human pee?

Posted by Boris (Member # 6935) on :

quote:
And a really snotty girl who thought she was better than everyone else around her came in to my husband's room when he and his friends were watching tv and pooped on their floor.

My mom's Shi-Tzu did that all the time... [Wave]

Posted by Verily the Younger (Member # 6705) on :

quote:
If he was drunk, I think he 'fertilised' the ground more than you think. Jiggling around his crotch, while drunk, makes me think that he, well, did a very rude *thing*. He masterly debated.

I'd like to point out that urination and masturbation look completely different. It would be hard to mistake one for the other, unless this guy's got a hair trigger and the testicular capacity of a milk carton. . . .

(Edited to quote the post I was responding to. Wouldn't want anyone just casually browsing to get the idea that I'm the one that brought it up.)

[ January 09, 2005, 01:04 AM: Message edited by: Verily the Younger ]

Posted by Speed (Member # 5162) on :

[ROFL]

That was vulgar and completely inappropriate for a family thread. That being said, the image made me chortle violently.

[ROFL]

[ January 09, 2005, 12:55 AM: Message edited by: Speed ]

Posted by Trisha the Severe Hottie (Member # 6000) on :

Our neighbor brought his puppy with him to drop something by this morning, and it started to leak in the foyer. So he went back outside and I felt bad since it's so cold and snowy here right now. I mean, I would have been totally fine with keeping the puppy in a plastic bag during his visit. [Evil Laugh]

Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :

"I assume alcohol was involved?"

Um, yes. And it was definitely pee, but thanks so much for the image. As if the image of him peeing wasn't bad enough.

Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :

[ROFL]

Posted by Glenn Arnold (Member # 3192) on :

A friend of mine went to his brother's house for Thanksgiving. His house is out in the woods, but not invisible. And his dining room has a large picture window.

As dinner was progressing, a hunter walked into his front yard, looked around, but apparently didn't see the house somehow, so he pulled down his pants and well, you know.

Posted by dread pirate romany (Member # 6869) on :

Human ,male urine is excellent for keeping away moles, gophers, etc.

Still, you don'r want a stranger's pee on your lawn.

Posted by Saint_11 (Member # 7232) on :

Wow... he was probly comin back from a drug party! [Party]

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