How do you know if a date was a good date, a bad date, or just so-so 'cause you're nervous and not thinking clearly?
What do people watch for, anyway?
Not the obvious stuff - I'm not talking "safety", "respect", "politeness", etc, cause that was all peachy.
The other intangible things . . . . you know, ideology, political stance, religious leanings . . . all the stuff we discuss here with great delight, but that apparently doesn't figure into daily converstaion in real life . . .
*gasps in horror*
Has Hatcrack ruined me for ever talking to people in a social setting again? Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
It's a good date if you were yourself, were comfortable, and enjoyed yourself. And so did the other person.
So. Did you have one recently? Wanna tell us about it? Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
If you're questioning it I'd vote for so-so because you're nervous and not thinking clearly. If it was good or bad, you'd know. Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
I'm debating between a variety of answers to that, quid . . .
A) No, I didn't have a date, it's for my sociology term paper. (That'll fly with newbies, but no one whose been here a while.)
B) It's my homework assignment for my therapist. (That may fly with a few more, except mack who would know better.)
C) Affecting great shock and dismay and saying with pathos: "I'm surrounded by casual voyuers . . ."
Yes, I just did. I am feeling fairly noncommittal about it all - we've done some stuff a couple of times before with his child and mine, and that's always fun. This wasn't quite the same - I dunno - I'm jaded anyhow, so my opinion probably isn't real reliable . . .
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
Back in my dating days it was a good date if the girl let me hold her hand. If she reached out and grabbed my hand it was an outstanding date.
Who cares about conversation when there's touching going on? I'd drop this keyboard in a flash.
Posted by vwiggin (Member # 926) on :
quote:What do people watch for, anyway?
Pepper spray in my experience.
Quids gave the perfect answer but that's not going to stop me from adding my own comments. Maybe you did enjoy yourself but you are unable to experience that "good date giddiness" because you are worried about the ramifications of taking the relationship to another level?
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Nah - I think I'm still recovering from my broken heart over you!
***************
Maybe I'm just too old for "good date giddiness" and should be relieved rather than perplexed. That giddiness in my youth made for an awful lot of problems . . .
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
Did you have enough fun that you were smiling when he left and are interested in doing it again? If so, that's good.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Well, its a bad date if you get violently ill after eating it.
oh, wait, we are talking about a different kind of date.
(No, I really am. Shame on you)
Um...
Nevermind.
Posted by mothertree (Member # 4999) on :
No one can be on their ballgame all the time. I've been thinking about how two people who don't have similar political views can get along. It's quite common, actually.
Posted by vwiggin (Member # 926) on :
Well, its a bad date if you get violently ill after eating it.
That's why I always let my pet monkey taste my dates
Shan - You had your chance woman! Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Close you eyes and think back to the date.
Now open your eyes - are you smiling?
This works in person, but I have no idea how it can work with you reading the end question. It will probably spoil the test.
Ah, well. I tried.
Dagonee
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Oh man - how did I blow it? Was it 'cause I sent the dang DVDs back?
*shakes head mournfully*
So, can a couple be on completely opposite poles of the political spectrum? And yeah, it was okay - we've had more fun going places with the kids, I think - although he did call afetrward to say thanks again and let me know that he enjoyed spending the time and is looking forward to spending more time -
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
quote:Has Hatcrack ruined me for ever talking to people in a social setting again?
Ai! I know what you mean. But if Hatrack-type discourse is something you enjoy, perhaps you should be looking for a date who wants to do things like that. And in that case, being on the opposite poles of the spectrum might be more useful, as long as neither of you actively hates the other side.
Also, I don't think giddiness is necessarily an indicator of a good date. If you had fun, and didn't feel like you had to put on a show, then I would call it good (sez me, who's been on maybe three dates).
quote:Well, its a bad date if you get violently ill after eating it.
Very funny, Dan! Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
A first date (and I say this from my vast experience, having had (thus far) precisely one first date) is a bit early to really be deciding "good" or not, I think. (Actually, the fact that I came back from my first date quite giddily happy was probably a very bad thing, now that I think back on it.)
As a very wise person said to me once, the first date isn't supposed to be about whether you want to marry the guy. It's about whether you want to go on a second date. Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Oh, rivka - thank you! You're a life saver!
(And if someone asks "what flavor", I'll deck 'em)
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
One first date? Ever?
Wow.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
This is what happens when you marry the first guy you date.
Probably also has quite a bit to do with the blind terror that grips me when I contemplate staring to date.
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Do you suppose that's what happened to me? Blind terror?
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Dunno. What do you think?
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
I don't know - future tripping most likely - bad habit.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
"Future tripping"? Does that mean worrying about what will happen, especially worst-case scenarios? I do that -- my mom calls it "borrowing trouble."
But yeah, not always the best way to deal with things.
Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
If you’ve enjoyed each other’s company when doing stuff with your kids, I’d chalk this one up to nervousness and normal “first date” awkwardness.
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