Put him the cooler! The stir! The verdict is we need more puns. Puns about the criminal justice system and all things legal or otherwise. I think we've got a great line up. I suspect you'll all execute some good ones, but Dag will have a lock on this category.
Posted by Eaquae Legit (Member # 3063) on :
Is the jury still out on who won the last pun smackdown?
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I know who the three-time-loser is.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
What's best about this thread is there's no way someone can link this.
Badgers? We don' need no stinkin' badgers!
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
LOL. Looks like the usual suspects to me.
Posted by bunbun (Member # 6814) on :
I predict a close res.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Maybe we need to give it a rest. We'll need to bale if we flood the board with puns. And that might lead to insect infestation - a search war ant might scout the area, looking for jailo.
Posted by bunbun (Member # 6814) on :
Would you just estop it? I mean really. We all need some relief.
Posted by bunbun (Member # 6814) on :
Seriously, if you don't knock it off, I'll a-quit Hatrack. It's been a hard day, Minimus.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
You're just now making that discovery?
<sings> All my trials Lord...
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
I hope you're enjoining picking on me.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
You've got my number...
Posted by bunbun (Member # 6814) on :
So you don't think Hatrack's e-quitable? You've got another thing comity, mister. Your constant conflict is just more evidence that you can't you keep a civil tongue in your head.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Plead all you want, you're out on a ledge and there's no step you'll a-shun to get off it.
Posted by bunbun (Member # 6814) on :
That's it! I've alread missed exercising 'cause of your action-- now my butt's all flabby and my abs initio. I need to get right to reps count, sell my long sleeves. If I can find a convenient tank top, I can get right to bear arms. But it's not likely, after collater-all your silly puns.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Given the most prolific posters on this thread I'm wondering if a family law mediation will be needed soon...
AJ
Posted by bunbun (Member # 6814) on :
Sine qua non-sense.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
AJ...nah, they're just courting.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
A real whodunit has emerged in a town close to me. Apparently some city employees found human bones in the waste disposal drains. They've called in some forensic specialists to determine if the death was a result of foul play and how the bones ended up in the sewer. They haven't asked me but I think it's obvious that this is quite clearly a case of sewercide.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Re-pun alert, re-pun alert! Punwit, I know that sewer pun! You used it in my get well card. (edit: and it still cracks me up)
[ March 03, 2005, 08:33 AM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I am so tired of my son's breakfast eating problem. I cannot keep a full box of Cheerios in the house to save my soul. He is a real cereal killer.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Elizabeth, You got a special screening, this is the national debut.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Lawww, that is so sweet. I am sue grateful, Punwit.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Lit it juss be my gift to you.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I will gavel at your feet forever.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I work out of the house now. Last week I did laundry and then got busy with some work tasks. Yep, I filed my briefs. Found 'em in there this morning.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
My grandfather was a baker. He poisoned a bunch of people with a dessert and had to go out of business. Torte liability just killed him. Of course, now that we've convinced him to use fresh ingredients, his business has benefitted mightily from torte reform.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Our high school basketball coach was a local judge who volunteered at the school. He was always very polite. When he took a player out of the game he would always say "you may approach the bench."
Posted by bunbun (Member # 6814) on :
I'm a proponent of torte reform. Tortes are overrunning trial dockets, and get them all sticky.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
There is a little quad in the town next to me that has a wonderful soup kitchen right next to a paper supplier. I figure this is as close as I'm gonna get to the SoupReam Court.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
We need to be careful in this thread. If we tell more than 7 puns, we might make someone sick enough to need a transfusion. There would be pun 8 IV damages.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Ummm, we've already passed that mark, Dag. I'm gonna bail iff somebody sues.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I'm trying to decide on some new graphics for my website. Should I go with jpeg or plain tiff?
[ March 03, 2005, 07:41 PM: Message edited by: Bob_Scopatz ]
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
When mutants play poker, do they all X-ante up before each hand?
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I love to go ice climbing in the winter. Sometimes, though, the ice starts to melt, and gets very watery. It makes scaling those walls dangerous! So, I really prefer a scale of just ice.
[ March 03, 2005, 09:31 PM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
If you slip on the ice, you can rip the curtilage in your knee.
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
Reading these puns this late has been a real trial.
Hay, B, us needs to go to Corpus Christy to get away from all these lawyers...
It is un-warrented, I tell you...
Kwea
[ March 04, 2005, 02:05 AM: Message edited by: Kwea ]
Posted by Mormo (Member # 5799) on :
Oh man! I just saw this and I hafta take the big sleep!
Ice-T was busted for icing one of his posse who had recently been cold to him. Turns out he used illegal aliens, some Icelanders, for the hit, so ICE came down on him like an avalanche. Funny, considering how cool ICE had been to him otherwise.
But it wasn't just ICE, the feds and everybody else got on the bandwagon too. They remembered how OJ had skated and wanted to check any rinky-dink defense tactics by working together.
Posted by Mormo (Member # 5799) on :
At his arraignment, a young kid ran up and said, "Say it ain't so, it's not just, Ice!"
Morbo
[ March 04, 2005, 02:35 AM: Message edited by: Mormo ]
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I wish people would take courses in speaking more iften. We all need a little exra diction.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I scared the heck out of my cousin several Easters' ago. Ted, my cousin, was helping us with Easter eggs and I said, "Help me get eggs to dry, Ted." He immediately was concerned that I was being sent to another state for some sort of felony.
Posted by Astaril (Member # 7440) on :
I had a friend once with a sick endangered baby bird in her care. She tried to sue the man who made it sick to pay for it to go live in its native habitat in China to get some fresh air like the vet recommended, but the court ruled against promoting ill eagle youth in Asia.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
I have several Hung Jury jokes, but they are inapropriate to this family forum.
Then there is the classic about the guy who was arrested stepping over a pair of Lions that belong to the state of Missouri, as he was casting a spell to make some dolphins live for ever.
He was convicted of the Man-Act. You know, Crossing State Lions for Immortal Porpoises.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I got a friend in trouble with his wife by recounting our escapades following his bachelor party. He was less than pleased about my ex-party communication.
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
(good morning, punwit)
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
You know, popovers are really easy to make. All you need is a salt and battery mixture.