As some of you know I have been involved in a very stressful and horrible situation at work, wherein one of my co-managers (and a former friend) is harrassing the staff and attempting to carry out a vendetta against me, personally, because he believes (correctly) that I was one of the people who turned him in for his twisted behavior.
Well at this moment, right now, at work, he is being fired by the boss. He is sitting in the office with the boss and another manager (who is not involved in any of this) being fired.
I feel very nervous and freaked out because I have a serious, serious feeling that he is going to try to bring me down with him. He is going to say, "Yeah, okay, I did those things. But TL did THIS. And THIS. And THIS!" And my boss will go, "Wow, really?" And I will lose my job as well.
Now, I know what you're thinking: Why am I worried about this if I haven't done anything wrong?
The answer is because this guy is vindictive and he will try to lash out at me in any way he can, and that includes making up crazy impossible skite.
I know I shouldn't be worried but I am. Until it is all over with, I am going to be very worried.
[ June 10, 2005, 03:39 PM: Message edited by: TL ]
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
Hopefully the big boss will realize a retalatory strike for what it is and give it the appropriate consideration.
Best wishes.
Posted by johnsonweed (Member # 8114) on :
TL,
Hopefully you are just being paranoid. Good luck.
Posted by Architraz Warden (Member # 4285) on :
Heh, is it still paranoia if they actually are out to get you?
Hope the bosses just smile and nod at his efforts before escorting him out the door.
Posted by Sartorius (Member # 7696) on :
I don't think you sound crazy. I've met those kind of people before. Good luck.
Posted by Dragon (Member # 3670) on :
(((TL)))
Posted by sarahdipity (Member # 3254) on :
What ended up happening?
Posted by TL (Member # 8124) on :
I'm kind of curious about that myself. I just called there to find out who was managing tonight. It should have been the witness. Instead, it was Jay. They did not fire him.
Effing God. I quit.
Anybody hiring?
Posted by bunbun (Member # 6814) on :
OMG. TL, I am so sorry this situation is not going away the way it should.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
I think that you should mention to your bosses that legal counsel you spoke with said the company is opening themselves up for sexual discrimination litigation.
Then sell all your stock in the company.
Most predators, sexual or physical, have a charisma and charm that allows them to appear pleasant and rational to outsiders. After all, he fooled you for a time.
Its not the loner who everyone thinks is nice that is evil. Its the good buddy who's charming and friendly that hides his vampire fangs.
Posted by JenniK (Member # 3939) on :
Ok, just a precautionary suggestion; document everything that this person does in the workplace that upsets you, makes you feel threatened, or makes you uncomfortable. Keep a notebook with dates and times, and any other witnesses to these actions written down, that way, if the situation becomes unbearable, you will have documentation of the events and it will be much easier to remember exactly what happened and who saw what. I learned that the hard way. Best of luck and hope everything works out alright. Posted by Phanto (Member # 5897) on :
Wow. (((TL)))
Good luck.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
TL, can I reccomend a book? Check out "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker. There's a chapter on workplace violence. It won't help you figure out how dangerous this guy is. Rather, it will help you trust your own intuition about how dangerous he is and act on that intuition if necessary.
Posted by bunbun (Member # 6814) on :
I second JenniK's suggestion--a journal is the thing right now.
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
They didn't fire him?! Holy Cow!
Get out of there - this is going to majorly blow up in their faces. What kind of legal counsel do they have (that's rhetorical - it's awful)? This is truly outrageous.
If you feel like you want to stay, insist on either being transferred to another department where there is no chance you will ever see him or coordinating your schedules so that there is no contact. Also, put everything in writing - every request, every complaint - and CC it to as many people as you can.
Posted by TL (Member # 8124) on :
No, I'm quitting. I'm done. The situation has long since become unbearable. Thanks for all your help.
The sad thing is, they are probably going to lose most of their management team over this ...
Starting with me.
Posted by SteveRogers (Member # 7130) on :
(((TL))) I hope things work out, somehow.
Posted by Sartorius (Member # 7696) on :
Congratulations on being very brave.
Posted by Goody Scrivener (Member # 6742) on :
WHAT?!?!?!?!! He's still THERE???? I hope you and Dot run for cover as quickly as possible.
Posted by Phanto (Member # 5897) on :
TL -- you are doing the right thing. You are stronger than the situation. You are doing the right thing. (((TL)))
Posted by TL (Member # 8124) on :
Side note:
I just sent this email to my *former* boss, who was promoted to a busier location and wanted to take me with him. We had a great relationship. I wouldn't go so far as to call myself his protege, but .....
Mr _______,
I'm quitting the company. I just wanted to let you know. It was nice knowing you. I'll let you know if anything miraculous happens and I change my mind. Good luck out there. Hope you can understand my frustration. You know, they won't let me come to _________ until the Jay situation is resolved, and they won't resolve the situation. My frustration is extreme and this whole thing has been unbearable for weeks. Tonight, another broken promise to let him go. For me, it's the last straw. I can't keep holding on to the empty promises while he harrasses the girls and wages war against me. It's crap. It's all crap.
-- Troy
(Now, I realize that sounds way too informal to send to a boss, but our relationship was fairly informal, while at the same time resulting in some awesome work.)
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
TL, I'm sorry that happened.
If you actually cared about staying, you could get the other managers together and go in en masse to demand that something be done.
But really, just leave quickly and quietly. That's probably the best.
And DO NOT mention this situation as a reason for leaving when you go apply for new jobs.
Another thought...it's always easier to look for a new job from a position of already having a job. You may want to reconsider this whole "quitting in disgust" thing and just quietly go find yourself another position.
When you do, you can always cherry-pick the best workers from your old job given that I'm sure most of the good folks would want to leave.
Sadly, the confrontation and blustery good bye, while emotionally satisfying, never really works well to forward ones career.
You don't know what went on in that room. He may have beguiled them, or he may have begged for another chance, or he may have diverted attention away. You just don't know. From what you've told us, any sensible company would've canned him, but really, there might be something else going on that you aren't aware of.
My suggestion is to keep drawing a paycheck while looking for a new job. And then get out.
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
TL, that is awful! Your "friend" Jay sure has a knack for getting himself out of hot water. Sounds like the sort of person I want to be as far away from as possible.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Posted by TL (Member # 8124) on :
Bob, your advice is very similar to my Mom's. I promised her to do everything humanly possible not to burn bridges, because working with the old boss before this situation occured was so great. In a way I'm just trying to appease her. I feel like I have already done everything that is humanly possible. At least everything that is possible for me.
Posted by Epictetus (Member # 6235) on :
I'm sorry that's happened man, but I think you're right in wanting to leave, if this "Jay" really is as bad as he sounds, it's for the best.
I wish you the best of luck.
Posted by Telperion the Silver (Member # 6074) on :
If I may ask, what exactly happened between you and your former friend?
Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
TL told the all story here.
Posted by Telperion the Silver (Member # 6074) on :
Thanks for the linky.
Posted by TL (Member # 8124) on :
Former boss just replied with this email --
[i keep you guys updated with the dumbest details cause i know you care about my life almost as deeply as i do]
Wow!!! WHAT!!! Let me sleep and I'll think about what I read below and get back to you....I'm sleepy. Ooooh an infomercial.
Posted by TL (Member # 8124) on :
Earth-shattering developments in the saga of TL's JOB!! Former boss watches an infomercial!!!
Posted by bunbun (Member # 6814) on :
Oooh! An infomercial. You must be shaken to the core.
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
*just read link*
I somehow missed the first thread. TL, I'm so sorry you have to put up with this. It's surreal. It's like a story off of Jerry Springer or something.
(((((TL))))) I'm sorry you've quit your job, especially if it's something you like (I'm not sure what you do, that's kind of a shot in the dark), but I think that if your mind really is made up to leave, then it's a good way to make a statement. Maybe this will actually move someone to take some action. Because something needs to be done.
Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
TL,
do you have *any* telecommunications or even computer networking experience? The company I work for is still hiring...
Posted by Katarain (Member # 6659) on :
TL, I'm lost... where's the email from your boss? Did you edit it out? I'm interested to know what's going on. I've been following it.
Best of luck, Katarain
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
Katarain,
If I understood correctly, this is his boss' e-mail:
quote: Wow!!! WHAT!!! Let me sleep and I'll think about what I read below and get back to you....I'm sleepy. Ooooh an infomercial.
Posted by Katarain (Member # 6659) on :
Oh! I thought the bracketed part was his editing out the email for some reason...and the Wow!!! part was his reaction to his boss's email. Okay.. I'm slow.
Thanks.
-Katarain
Posted by Goody Scrivener (Member # 6742) on :
Then I'm slow too because I thought the bracket was the former boss' reply. 'Course, I'm at work and not supposed to be sating my Hatrack addiction... <furtive glances around room>
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
I hope it all works out for the best. What amessed up situation.
Posted by TL (Member # 8124) on :
They fired Jay and the investigator issued an apology to those of us involved (me, Betty, and Dot). Everyone is telling us they are sorry it took so long; usually it would have been handled within a week. Apparently they were overwhelmed with cases, flying all over the country, and at the same time the lawyer's wife had a baby with some complications. Normally this would never happen, but circumstances were crazy. They assure us this will NOT happen in the future.
Betty is going to come back to work.
And so am I. Even though I sort of know I shouldn't.
So it will be all of us, back again, just no more Jay.
When they fired him (I found out from the witness what happened) they told him that as a result of the investigation, they no longer think it is in the company's best interest to keep him employed.
He said, "Okay. I understand. There is a lot of stuff I could say about things that TL did, but I'm just going to be the bigger man." And then he left.
Posted by TL (Member # 8124) on :
My thoughts exactly. Posted by bunbun (Member # 6814) on :
The bigger man, my Aunt Fannie. Fabulous news!
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
We need a Whew Relief greamlin.
The most common lie in the world is not, "The Check is in the Mail." Its "You'll live to regret this." That is what Jay is saying, but it isn't true.
Posted by peterh (Member # 5208) on :
Good to hear. Now when and if you decide to leave, it'll be on your terms not someone elses...
Posted by the Professor (Member # 5319) on :
"Good news, everyone!"
That's great, TL.
quote:Betty is going to come back to work. And so am I.
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