This is topic O_O Kids Really DO Say the Darndest things in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.


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Posted by Olivetta (Member # 6456) on :
 
I know we've had several threads along these lines before, but I've been away for some time and I'm... well, too lazy to do a search. Nyah.

The other day we were driving with the kids, and I realized the radio was on, very very low. I hate that. I'd rather have it off or on loud enough to hear (what happens is that my Beloved will have it on, and turn it down to answer a phone call (hands free) and forget it's even on).

I turned it up and it was NPR doing a report on a paper that was to be published in a scietific journal about the vulnerability of our nation's milk supply to terrorists.

I groaned, because my eldest is a bit of a worrier. He has me lock his door at night. When he asks for a glass of water in bed, and head down the stair to get it for him, he says things like, "If a robber comes in and shoots at you, scream so I'll know." Sometimes I worry about this kid. He heard a story about Rabies once, and insisted he was terrified of getting rabies. We told him it's really, really rare, and if he stays away from wild animals and strays there is almost a zero chance of getting it. Still, he screamed in terror when I shooed a neighbor's dog away from my garden, "Don't get too close!" Even when I told him about the peditrician in Wisconsin who managed to save a girl with full-blown rabies by inducing a coma or some such, it didn't ease his obsession.

We'd get the bleary-eyed boy coming into our room late at night. "I can't sleep because I'm worried about robbers or getting rabies."

So, the terrorist thing made me cringe. Why hadn't I just turned the bleeping thing off?

Then, my beloved says, "Hey, boys. Do you know what a terrorist is?"

My worry-wart(Robert, 8) just shrugged.

After a few minutes, my Beloved asked again. This time, Liam (5) said, authoritatively, "Clinton!"


I think he's been around my in-laws too much. *snicker*

Back to Robert, my worrier. We've been talking of things spiritual with him a lot, lately. And he was talking with us a bit about hiis fears of death. I want him to understand that death is natural, and not the worst thing that can happen to anyone. We've both lost people important in our lives just lately, and the religious party-line answers seem to be as unsatisfying to him as to many people in grief.

So, we were talking about a wider range of beliefs. Robert said he didn't like the idea that thereis nothing afterthis life, and my beloved explained that some people believe that, but that most people believe that there is a part of you tha lives on after you die.

It was quiet for a long a time, while I hoped that he would find comfort in that idea, even though I knew his intensely empirical mind is usually doubtful.

Finally, he said, "Is it the teeth?"

O_O

And I thought parenting would be easier when they were out of diapers. HA!
 

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Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
 

 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 

 

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Posted by ReikoDemosthenes (Member # 6218) on :
 

 

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Posted by Peter Howell (Member # 8072) on :
 

 

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Posted by pfresh85 (Member # 8085) on :
 

 

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Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
 
I figured you couldn't stay away all summer, Olivia. Yay!

quote:

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Then, my beloved says, "Hey, boys. Do you know what a terrorist is?"

My worry-wart(Robert, 8) just shrugged.

After a few minutes, my Beloved asked again. This time, Liam (5) said, authoritatively, "Clinton!"

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This and the funny teeth comment suggests that your kids have been exposed to Neal Boortz, High Priest of the Church of the Painful Teeth.
 

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Posted by Wendybird (Member # 84) on :
 

 

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Posted by Olivetta (Member # 6456) on :
 
They probably HAVE been exposed to Boortz, though not around ME.

Funny thing... we went to Lennox Square for the fireworks, invited by Ben and Lindsay. Bens folks and several of their friends were there.

Ben's mom came over to us and thanked us for being a part of Ben's life. She seems to think he's using us as role models or something (an idea that terrifies me in ways I can't quite articulate). She finished by saying, "And I'm so glad you're Republicans! I told Ben that I'd have taken it better if he'd been gay than a Democrat. I'm so glad he looks up to you and you're Republicans!"

At which point I smiled and laughed, while thinking. "We are? What the..."

I mean, I'm not a Democrat, but I don't think you can be a Republican and hold the socially liberal ideas that I do, so...

I just figured he told her that to win brownie points for us, and it was a safe guess.

But he said he never told her any such thing, so who knows?
 

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Posted by Olivetta (Member # 6456) on :
 
Ps Morbo- email me your address again. I owe you a copy of Memory of Earth, from the book exchange!
 

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Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
 
Just tell Ben that his mom wears combat boots.
 

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Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
 
I don't see what's funny about it. Which part of the body does live on after you die? If it exists, why can't you point to it? The boy shows common sense, there is clearly hope for him.
 

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Posted by Olivetta (Member # 6456) on :
 
KOM - That is exactly how his father thinks of it, so I'm disappointed in his lack of 'faith' or anything. I was just hoping that presenting him with many different perspectives on life and death might help him find something he's comfortable with. I've gone from being agnostic to realizing that I do believe in the existence of the divine spark, and my husband is basically an atheist with the caveat that okay, there might be a god, but his existence (or not) is irrelevant. He more or less follows the four fold path.

I'm just glad that my eldest shows no signs of going Baptist, despite the baptist cutie next door, whom he obviously likes a lot.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
I told my husband this story, Olivia. We both decided it was something our son would say. I still remember the time I tried to explain how babies were made. "You mean I have to take my penis off and oput it inside someone?"

He and I decided that it might be better to wait a few years before trying to broach this topic.

My daughter once yelled at him in disgust: "AIDAN! Why do you have to be so LITERAL?"

I guess it was better than calling him a bad name or something.
 

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Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
 
This is great!

You'd better not tell him that your hair continues to grow after you die.



(or is that just another myth?)
 

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Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
 
I was wondering...

If you decided to blow everything out of proportion...like if he gets a cut you could list all the possible consequences and then when it turns out to be nothing he'd maybe eventually learn not to worry so.

But then, nah, he'd probably just enjoy it.

gangrene?
Only if the lockjaw doesn't get you first.

Well...we could amputate, but then you'd have phantom limb...
 

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Posted by Verily the Younger (Member # 6705) on :
 

quote:

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(or is that just another myth?)

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Yes. Hair does not continue to grow after death.

And look, KoM took a charming story about childhood innocence and turned it into a mean-spirited attack against religion. Just watch my big surprised face:
 

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Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
 


by the way, liz, I LOVE the name Aidan.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Mack, you and every fifth new parent of a boy these days.

I do love it, though, no matter how comon it becomes.
 

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Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
 
I love the name Aidan too. It would also sound good for a girl, I think.
 

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Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
 
What was mean-spirited about my remark? I praised someone else's child for brains, what's wrong with that? I can see where you would get defensive about holding a belief that an eight-year-old can spot the holes in; but that's your problem and none of mine.

Aidan is a horrible name, sounds like a dishwashing fluid, or maybe one of those 'meds' that spam advertises. But that's a whole 'nother discussion.
 

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Posted by Rappin' Ronnie Reagan (Member # 5626) on :
 
If only you could develop tact.
 

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Posted by Verily the Younger (Member # 6705) on :
 
Actually, I'm an agnostic. But just because I don't adhere to any religion doesn't mean I have any sympathy for people who go around viciously attacking religion and religious people every opportunity they get.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
King of Men,
I actually chuckled at your last response, defending your own post from mean-spirited intent, and then following it up with a mean-spirited comment.
 

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Posted by Haloed Silhouette (Member # 8062) on :
 

quote:

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And I thought parenting would be easier when they were out of diapers. HA!

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quote:

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gangrene?
Only if the lockjaw doesn't get you first.

Well...we could amputate, but then you'd have phantom limb...

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My husband does stuff like this to Olivia all the time.
 

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Posted by Olivetta (Member # 6456) on :
 
Oh, when they heard it was possible to bleed to death, every scrape became a huge deal.

Liam was always stoic about getting hurt. I think he has my high pain threshold. But anyway...

One day he fell and scraped his knee and cried for 45 minutes straight, no matter what we did. What finally worked (after band aids and antibiotic ointments and lots of cuddling/comfort didn't work) Ron sprayed it with a really sting-y antiseptic spray. He cried louder for about ten seconds and then stopped. I guess after the sting faded he realized that it wasn't so bad after all.

My boss's son is named Aiden, and he LOVES me. He used to ask to go to my house, and insisted on only holding MY (not his own mom or dad's) hand when we all went on a hike together. He is SO cute. Father's charming smile and his mother's huge eyes, plus this amazing latte complexion that you seem to only get when you mix Irish and African blood.

I always ask my boss how my little boyfriend is doing. He's so adorable. Even if I didn't like like the name, which I do, he'd have won me over.
 

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Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
 
Ohhh...my little cousin Terrence has that latte complexion. He's a shockingly beautiful little boy and will assuredly be a ladykiller. Well, unless he likes boys, but mankiller sounds like a serial killer.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Aidan is pretty cute himself, and plays the guitar, so I figure he will have the pick of the gals when he is older.
 

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Posted by Haloed Silhouette (Member # 8062) on :
 
*Cough.*

Oh, right, you never saw me *wink*. I just hope I am competent enough as a ladykiller. I mean, there was this gorgeous girl who had a crush on me when I had a crush on her. I wasn't too shy or anything, but one of my best matess (who sat by me at our table in class) was her boyfriend. I couldn't destroy it.

The sad thing is that even though they were together for four months, she only liked him for the first one and I got a crush on her during the second one (roughly when she got the likes for me) or something... She just didn't dump him...

None to worry. I only found out this one year later, whn a friend of mine got a crush on her (long story). She also had a crush on him a year before she liked me.

The good thingis that we always were good friends and will remain so. At least nothing was "ruined" or something like that... But I'm still with a "virgin-penis", "virgin-lips" and a "virgin-status".

Ah, well...
 

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Posted by Olivetta (Member # 6456) on :
 
TMI!!!


 

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Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
 
Emily is obsessed with medical stuff. She absolutely loves seeing stuff that is bloody or scraped or anything like that. When we took Natalie to the podiatrist to have her ingrown toenail removed, he let us all stay and watch and Emily got right up there, watched everything and asked questions.

If anyone gets injured in any way, Emily wants to see it. When I cut myself with the rotary cutter she insisted I take off the bandaid and show her the cut. She also asks Wes about calls he makes at work, wanting all the details of the injured people.

Not too surprisingly, she says she wants to be a pediatric orthopedic surgeon. Well, that's not really what she says, she says "I want to be the doctor that operates on kids bones when they get broken."
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Belle, my niece is the same way! She thrives on blood and gore. Her mom is a nurse, but whenever anyone is hurt in the house, it is my niece who is the first to help.

My daughter is into bad kids. The Nanny, and now, tonight, she is ecstatic to watch "Brat Camp." Before going into fourth grade, she said, "I hope there's a bad-behaved kid in my class."

"Why?"

"I don't know, I just like to watch them."

She was fascinated with Captain Hook, Scar, and all the bad(male) Disney characters when she was younger. I figure she is going to be a psychologist, a teacher of emotionally disturbed adolescents, or a serial killer.
 

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Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
 
Either that or she's going to date them.
 

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Posted by steven (Member # 8099) on :
 
zgator, you espeaka da TRUTH.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Quiet!!
 

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Posted by Olivetta (Member # 6456) on :
 
I dunno. I was always fascinated by creepy, twisted villians. My favorites were always attractive and sadistic narcissists.

But I still ended up with a very nice man.

Pity him.
 

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Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
 
I'm still that scared of Rabies, Olivia. It might not be a phase!

And, just a suggestion - never let your son get his hands on The American Medical Association's Family Medical Guide. The one with the self-diagnosis flow charts. He will never sleep soundly again.
 

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Posted by TheHumanTarget (Member # 7129) on :
 
My 4 year old daughter responding to my rhetorical question :

"How can they get rid of the fillibuster?"

with

"Daddy, if they leave it alone it will just go away by itself."

Wisdom from the mouths of babes...

The follow-up was even better though, because I asked why it would go away and she said that maybe it would get hungry or thirsty if it was left alone, and might go to McDonalds for chicken nuggets.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
The Fullamustard.
 

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Posted by Olivetta (Member # 6456) on :
 

 

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Posted by TheHumanTarget (Member # 7129) on :
 
I have to ask which post you're laughing at Olivatta...last time I assumed it was mine, and then there was much laughing (and pointing). It was all very embarassing...
 

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Posted by Olivetta (Member # 6456) on :
 
Basically everything since my last post. You sure have a smart-sounding kid!

Oh, and Annie - I think we've gotten over the rabies fear. It's just so many people he loves have died in the last year and a half (two Great-Grandmothers and a Grandmother) he's become aware of how fragile life can be.
 

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Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
 
You know Olivia, I think I would have been one of the goofy guys that had a crush on you in high school. You wouldn't have liked me though. I was the guy that all the moms liked.
 

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Posted by Olivetta (Member # 6456) on :
 
z:

Oy. Seems when the Kid's WB show Robert likes to watch went off, the show after that was doing a promo with a 'caught on tape' video of some guy hitting people. I spent ten minutes comforting my boy and silently cursing Maury Povich. I was swapping the laundry when it happened. He knows the TV gets turned off when Shaolin Showdown is over, he just wasn't fast enough.

We don't even have cable, and TV time is VERY limited by our family rules. I thought we were being careful enough. *facepalm*

At least he seems to be over it. *sigh*
 

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Posted by whiskysunrise (Member # 6819) on :
 
My 2 year old: "I'm a hot dog"
Me: "What?"
2 year old: "I'm a cookie-hotdog."
Me: "Ok."
 

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Posted by whiskysunrise (Member # 6819) on :
 
My 2 year old: "I'm a hotdog."
Me: "What?"
2 year old: "I'm a cookie-hotdog."
Me: "Ok."
 

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Posted by whiskysunrise (Member # 6819) on :
 
My 2 year old: "I'm a hotdog."
Me: "What?"
2 year old: "I'm a cookie-hotdog."
Me: "Ok."
 

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Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
I think the only other response would have been "Well, I'm an ice cream McNugget."
 

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