Girls that are intelligent but act stupid because they think it makes them more attractive. Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
No, actually I love my daughter very much.....
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
Best. answer. ever. Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Guys that go along with it because...I don't know why, but some do. The ones you want to keep don't, of course.
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
. . . Boys who won't talk to/make fun of intellegent girls, so if a smart girl wants any male attention she has to hide her intellegence?
In other words, it ain't happening in a vacuum, they wouldn't be doing it if it didn't work.
Posted by johnsonweed (Member # 8114) on :
quote:Originally posted by Farmgirl: No, actually I love my daughter very much.....
Posted by johnsonweed (Member # 8114) on :
Students who don't realize that it is a blessing to have the the opportunity to go to college, and that no matter the cost of the school one must EARN grades.
Posted by Zeugma (Member # 6636) on :
DON'T YOU HATE PANTS?
Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
boys that are all about "the score" but who then turn around and talk about how "easy" a particular girl is...
people who brake on on-ramps...
my new neighbor's dog, who has torn up our trash and scattered it over our lawn three days in a row now... if we didn't each live on two acres, it would, for some reason be less aggravating but it seems with that much room he ought to be able to keep his dog on his property...
Posted by Ramdac99 (Member # 7264) on :
Kwame Killpatrick
Posted by Beanny (Member # 7109) on :
I definitely agree! I know too many of those. What often happens is that the particular girl does it for attention, gets a lot of laughs, and is then considered stupid. It is impossible for her to stop, and her self-esteem sinks.
Burst thy bubble, unreal bimbo!
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I've been in a few situations in my life where I was considered the dumb girl (short period of aquaintance, and I can be flakey sometimes), and it was very, very odd. I HATED it. My opinon of the opinion-holders also dropped to all-time lows. I had all the attention I could want, but the ones giving it were such losers it would never be worth it.
Too long I've been afraid of Losing love I guess I've lost Well, if that's love It comes at much too high a cost!
Posted by Ramdac99 (Member # 7264) on :
you go Kat!!! ^_^
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
quote:Students who don't realize that it is a blessing to have the the opportunity to go to college, and that no matter the cost of the school one must EARN grades.
I could not agree more.
Farmgirl: Posted by Tresopax (Member # 1063) on :
Actually, no, I don't hate them. I've met too few people who don't act fake to start hating all those who do.
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
( just to clarify -- my intelligent daughter doesn't really act stupid -- at least not to my knowledge when I'm around her. I just couldn't resist the come-back opportunity that the intial post presented)
(and now I'm covering my butt for when my daughter logs in and sees this thread)
Posted by StickyWicket (Member # 7926) on :
quote: I've met too few people who don't act fake to start hating all those who do.
Put the drink down....
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
quote:Originally posted by Tresopax: Actually, no, I don't hate them. I've met too few people who don't act fake to start hating all those who do.
So true. And I should have expected this comment from you! Posted by His Savageness (Member # 7428) on :
Let's keep in mind that there's a difference between book smarts and common sense. I knew plenty of girls in high school that had more than enough book smarts but their common sense was, to put it nicely, severely lacking. Sometimes girls (and boys) act dumber than they are to attract attention, but sometimes girls (and boys) act like idiots in social situations simply because that's the way they are.
Posted by sarahdipity (Member # 3254) on :
I hate when all the guys I know claim they want smart, interesting girls and then proceed to ignore all the pretty smart girls they know and then complain that there isn't anyone out there.
The lesson: feel free to ignore but don't *complain* to your female friends who have watched 3-4 girls go after you. </rant>
Posted by fugu13 (Member # 2859) on :
Similar advice goes to the girls who proclaim to want "sensitive, intelligent" guys (or the like).
Posted by Zeugma (Member # 6636) on :
I like sensitive, intelligent guys.
So I found and married one. Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
quote:Originally posted by fugu13: Similar advice goes to the girls who proclaim to want "sensitive, intelligent" guys (or the like).
Aye, aye, captain. Posted by fugu13 (Member # 2859) on :
Oh, those of you who actually follow through are fine, poly, its the ones who then go off and date jerks that get my goat.
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
It's the "sensitive, intelligent" guys who are too dang shy to ever ASK a girl out to begin with that get my goat. The girls like him, but he never has the nerve to act on that....
FG
Posted by fugu13 (Member # 2859) on :
Y'know, it is possible for girls to approach guys nowadays, too
And its not easy for either party, often
As for me, I do ask girls on occasion, but I don't always know which girls like me (for instance). Its not always easy to tell, particularly if one has affectionate friends (who aren't interested), and the girl who's doing the liking should make sure to be clear (and preferably start up a conversation about the possibility).
Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
oh... from my experience with the personal ads...
what's with women who come off all about the "emotional, spiritual, mental, maturity" aspects of the guy, then refuse to consider anyone under 6' tall, even when they are 5'2"?
That was very weird and frustrating.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
quote:the girl who's doing the liking should make sure to be clear (and preferably start up a conversation about the possibility).
Honestly, this is probably the sticking point. I like sensitive, intelligent guys, but I don't like having to do all the work. I like being courted, dang it. I like someone who is aggressive and fearless enough to try. Who likes me enough that I'm worth taking a risk.
This is definitely from experience. I used to not mind at all, but I found out that it doesn't really change - if a girl has to make it happen, she will always be the one to make things happen. I don't want to be the one to make things happen.
I'm not interested in everyone who tries, but I never look down on those who do. I think it's gutsy. I like gutsy.
Posted by Sid Meier (Member # 6965) on :
People who keeping asking if I am THE Sid Meier
j/k I actually like that attention though I correct that impresion immediatly.
The people WHO REALLY get my goat are those pessimists who think the world is doomed yada yadda yada and use it as an excuse for X behavior.
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
Able-bodied people who cut you off racing to the closest space that you were about to pull into? Especially when it's 101 degrees outside and you're 5 months pregnant.
At least she had the decency to look embarassed when I got out of my car and she saw my belly.
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
go Kat!
We like sensitive, intelligent, witty, GUTSY guys!
FG
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
at Zeugma.
Go Canyonero.
Posted by fugu13 (Member # 2859) on :
Kat, there are a good number of girls I wouldn't mind going out with. I'm not going to ask all of them out, one after another, I'm going to ask someone out I find I have a particular interest in and think may feel similarly about me (at least as far as the would be interested in trying a date or two). If one of the girls who I wouldn't mind going out with makes an interest clear, though, I'll ask her out.
You might think about if there are any guys out there who feel that if they have to push for the date then they're going to end up being the one making everything happen, who feel that if a girl isn't going to at least make her interest clear she's not going to put enough effort into the resulting relationship.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
quote:I'm not going to ask all of them out, one after another
Then you will date less than the guys who do.
If that's what you're choosing, that's fine. However, if you're wondering why the girls that say they want sensitive guys are dating the jerks, it's probably because the jerks actually asked them out.
Posted by divaesefani (Member # 3763) on :
quote:Originally posted by Mrs.M: Able-bodied people who cut you off racing to the closest space that you were about to pull into? Especially when it's 101 degrees outside and you're 5 months pregnant.
At least she had the decency to look embarassed when I got out of my car and she saw my belly.
Amen, Mrs. M! This happens to me on a daily basis right now, and I'm 2 weeks away from delivery!
Thank goodness for Flat Irons Mall and their "Expectant and New Parent" Parking spots!
Posted by Zeugma (Member # 6636) on :
I think there'd a lot fewer single people around here if our society wasn't so hell-bent on a formal "guy asks girl out, they go to dinner and a movie, they stress about possibility of goodnight kiss" dating process. Posted by Tresopax (Member # 1063) on :
quote:If that's what you're choosing, that's fine. However, if you're wondering why the girls that say they want sensitive guys are dating the jerks, it's probably because the jerks actually asked them out.
And if girls wonder why it seems like every guy they date turns out to be a jerk in the end, it might be because they demand to be courted in a way that sensitive guys aren't inclined to do.
Posted by fugu13 (Member # 2859) on :
*shrug* I'm okay with dating less, I'd rather date people I've already had a chance to make some decent connection with than just asking people.
And I don't think its at all unreasonable for a girl who would like to go out with a guy to at least make it clear (and this doesn't necessarily mean telling the guy, asking him out, or anything that blatant; there are lots of ways to do it) that she would like to do so, instead of just saying yes to the "jerk" she would rather not go out with.
Seems a bit odd to go out with the jerk when you'd rather go out with someone else who's also available and not a jerk, but perhaps I'm just missing something that makes that make sense.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Probably. Being unsingle isn't the pinnacle of existence however. Being trapped and unhappy would be death.
quote:Seems a bit odd to go out with the jerk when you'd rather go out with someone else who's also available and not a jerk, but perhaps I'm just missing something that makes that make sense.
I have this theory that part of what makes us initially attracted to someone is how they make you feel, about the world, about them, and about yourself. Being asked out can make someone feel attractive and worth the risk. "He makes me feel pretty." That's a great feeling. "He makes me feel like I'm not worth the risk unless there's a guaranteed return" is powerful in the wrong direction.
In other words, you may think he's a jerk, but he's sweet to her and makes her feel good about herself. That's fabulous.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
quote:I think there'd a lot fewer single people around here if our society wasn't so hell-bent on a formal "guy asks girl out, they go to dinner and a movie, they stress about possibility of goodnight kiss" dating process.
I can heartily recommend the "talk on the phone for hours while in distant cities, meet for a weekend after a month or so, have along distance relationship for a year and a half, propose, go away to law school, and get married" dating process.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Didn't Eve make it clear she was interested, though?
quote:And if girls wonder why it seems like every guy they date turns out to be a jerk in the end, it might be because they demand to be courted in a way that sensitive guys aren't inclined to do.
It is possible for someone to be both brave and nice.
It's a nice theory that careful = sensitive = better boyfriends, but there are just as many jerks among the bookish, shy types as there are among the fearless, hero types. Neither personality is emblematic of an inner character.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Of course. But the process worked very well once it got rolling.
I'm plenty sensitive, intelligent, witty, and GUTSY. I'm just clueless. Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
divaesefani, that's actually the first time anything like that has ever happened to me. Usually people are very solicitous when they see my bump. I've had new registers opened for me, been escorted to the head of checkout lines, and had my name moved to the head of the seating list in restaurants. I think that's why I was so annoyed by this lady.
If I was 8.5 months, I would probably have said something.
We don't have any pregnant or new parent parking spaces here - I'm envious.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
*laugh* Clueless is cute, actually.
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
quote:It's a nice theory that careful = sensitive = better boyfriends, but there are just as many jerks among the bookish, shy types as there are among the fearless, hero types. Neither personality is emblematic of an inner character.
Amen, kat. I went to college looking forward to dating sensitive musicians and writers and there were many more jerks among them than there had been among the good ol boys I dated in high school.
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
quote:don't you hate...
when you're interested and show interest, she answers, you get together, after a couple of days she says it's off and only tells you way later that she wasn't *really* interested but only *looking*; and she was your best friend too; and you CAN'T hate her, because you like her too much; and you lose her both as a possible relationship AND as a close friend, and it all becomes meaningless. And everyone expects you to go on living like nothing happened. "Time will heal everything." "There are other girls out there." "You have more important things to concentrate on right now."
And don't you hate it when all those feelings finally dull out and it seems indeed that nothing happened and all that seemed so beautiful didn't even exist, when time DOES heal even when you don't want to?
And don't you hate it when you know you'll start over, doing the same thing, because there's no other way you know?
Neah, I don't hate that. Guess it's just life. Better live a full life than a dull life. Posted by fugu13 (Member # 2859) on :
I definitely agree with the possibility of jerks all over the place, in all personality types.
But its important you understand that this
quote:"He makes me feel like I'm not worth the risk unless there's a guaranteed return" is powerful in the wrong direction.
not only seems to apply both ways (see my previous point about not even bothering to make her interest clear/not going to put effort into a relationship), but also a misconception in its strong sense. I'm not out for a guaranteed return, I'll ask out people I have a particular interest in whom I don't know how'll they'll respond. Among those I don't have a particular interest in, though, I'm not just going to ask out person after person -- to me, I'd be saying "I don't have a particular reason to ask you, out, I'd just like to be going out and you seem nice enough", which isn't me. I will ask out one of those people if there seems to be some connection, but I rather like to think of such a connection as something special rather than a cynical "guaranteed return".
Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
quote:Originally posted by katharina: he's sweet to her and makes her feel good about herself. That's fabulous.
Something about this is bugging me, but I can't word it very well...
Maybe it's the ease with which this is accomplished sometimes...? like insincere flattery...
Or maybe... I think it's that it sounds awfully close to "he makes her feel wanted". Hmmm... yeah I think that's the uncomfortable road on this for me...
Not that it's better for her to feel unwanted, but just that there are a lot of jerk-ish, or downright abusive things, that can make someone feel wanted.
and some of the greatest things we can give our partners-- the time and freedom to be alone or do things just for themselves-- can appear as indifference if the person is primarily looking to be made to feel wanted.
Thanks for letting me talk myself through that, all... I'll go ahead and post it in case anyone else is edified.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I know it works both ways.
And I'm not really that subtle - when I like someone, I, at least, think it is glaringly apparent. I get the beaming kind of blush that's visible from space.
Posted by Tresopax (Member # 1063) on :
quote:It's a nice theory that careful = sensitive = better boyfriends, but there are just as many jerks among the bookish, shy types as there are among the fearless, hero types.
Kinda like the "nice" but mistaken theory that being aggressive in courtship = more gutsy? Posted by fugu13 (Member # 2859) on :
I've got no problem with that approach, its the completely-avoid-sending-clear-signals approach that irks me Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
quote:aggressive in courtship = more gutsy?
I still think this is true. How is it not true?
Posted by Tresopax (Member # 1063) on :
It is not true for the same reason that "careful = sensitive" is not true... because people act in certain ways for different reasons.
The following groups of people are all aggressive in their courtship, I think: 1) Gutsy people who do or do not care a lot about you, but are okay with taking the risk 2) Careful people who care so much for you that it overwhelms their normally careful ways 3) People who don't really care about you at all, and thus are not hurt if you reject them or think poorly of them 4) People who assume you will definitely say yes, and thus have nothing to fear (perhaps because they think they are hot stuff ) 5) People who were brought up thinking that aggressiveness in courtship was the norm, and don't know any other way of courtship
And so on and so forth... I can bet that there are plenty of people fighting in Iraq or doing other courageous jobs who might not be too direct in trying to catch the eye of a girl - for whatever reason.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
gutsy + nice >> nice - gutsy
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
Hooray for gender differences!
Nobody deals with the opposite gender well, and anyone who claims differently is selling something.
Nyah.
Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
Katie:
quote:I like being courted, dang it. I like someone who is aggressive and fearless enough to try.
I like aggressive too. Like Wash and Saffron:
Saffron: "I've been too forward." Wash: "No. Well, yes, but actually I like that in a woman. That's why Zoe and I are, as previously mentioned, married."
I used to be really shy, and I spent a fair while working on getting over that (still am, really); I don't mind kicking things off if it comes to that, but if it's never reciprocated -- well, then I'm not interested.
quote:This is definitely from experience. I used to not mind at all, but I found out that it doesn't really change - if a girl has to make it happen, she will always be the one to make things happen. I don't want to be the one to make things happen.
Why does it always have to be one or the other? Can't the "making things happen" be shared at least somewhat equally? That's my ideal in relationships in many respects, actually. I want the spontaneity to come as much from her as it does from me. I'm okay with courting and being gentlemanly and sweet and all that stuff to an extent, but I certainly don't want someone ladylike in the classical sense.
quote:And I'm not really that subtle - when I like someone, I, at least, think it is glaringly apparent. I get the beaming kind of blush that's visible from space.
You could be blushing for any number of reasons. Maybe you're thinking about your boyfriend. How are we supposed to know?
---------------------------
Corwin:
quote:And don't you hate it when you know you'll start over, doing the same thing, because there's no other way you know?
There is another way! Just try to avoid falling for your friends. Or have mostly male friends.
I know a lot of people see relationships that develop from friendships as the ideal, but to my mind dating a friend is in also asking for trouble. If you're sure it's worth the risk, go ahead, but just remember that there are awesome people almost everywhere. This person is probably not as perfect for you as you think. Posted by Tresopax (Member # 1063) on :
quote:gutsy + nice >> nice - gutsy
Yes, but here's the real question: How do you figure out who is "gutsy + nice" at a glance, when often what appears to be "gutsy + nice" is actually "insensitive"?
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
quote:You could be blushing for any number of reasons. Maybe you're thinking about your boyfriend. How are we supposed to know?
You could ask me.
I think if the girl has to start something, then she will always hvae to be the one to start something precisely BECAUSE there is social pressure for the guy to do it. If all that social pressure didn't spur him to action, then knowing that a girl likes him probably won't do it, either. That's just frustrating.
As Dag said, there is a difference between passive and clueless.
quote:How do you figure out who is "gutsy + nice" at a glance, when often what appears to be "gutsy + nice" is actually "insensitive"?
Interact with him?
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
edit: responding to Tres
You don't. But you don't usually ask out someone "at a glance" either -- usually it is someone you've had some interaction with prior.
FG
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
twinky: Well, see, I wouldn't have gone for it that eagerly had she not seemed interested too! I was in kind of a bad period in my life and was certainly not looking for more trouble, but things seemed to go so well with her and we have so much in common, bla-bla-bla... (if there's any reason you can name to go for it, it was present) Oh well, it just sucked big time. This is partly why I interrupted my studies this year and lead to a really bad situation with my parents - not that it was really good before. I thought I was at my lowest point in life before that happened and things were starting to go up. But there's always worse, isn't it?
I was going to type more, but I think I'm going to save the story for a future landmark. Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
quote:Originally posted by katharina: I think if the girl has to start something, then she will always hvae to be the one to start something precisely BECAUSE there is social pressure for the guy to do it.
How can we change this social momentum if girls refrain from asking boys out because of the social momentum?
All that said, I've never been asked out by a girl (of course, I don't really "date" in the conventional sense of the term, at least not since high school). There have been instances where girls subtly or unsubtly nudged me toward starting something (or essentially started something unilaterally), though, and if I was interested I always followed through. Often in those kinds of situations the girl said she felt like she was being forward, and I always explained that I thought it was awesome.
This doesn't happen all the time by any stretch, but I like it when girls, um, show initiative, because it shows confidence (which is a trait I find very attractive). I'd say that I usually give the girl some signals before starting something myself, and if she beats me to it then attraction++, but if she doesn't that's okay too (at least initially). Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
quote:Originally posted by Corwin: twinky: Well, see, I wouldn't have gone for it that eagerly had she not seemed interested too! ...
Ah! Curses! Understood.
Just remember, there are awesome women everywhere. Really. Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
Every time I asked a guy out, I not only got shot down, I also got this horrified look accompanying the shoot-down. Now, maybe it was because I was just that repulsive, and maybe it was my choice of guys, but let me tell you, that only happened three times before I decided it wasn't worth it.
Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
quote:Originally posted by Megan: Every time I asked a guy out, I not only got shot down, I also got this horrified look accompanying the shoot-down. Now, maybe it was because I was just that repulsive, and maybe it was my choice of guys, but let me tell you, that only happened three times before I decided it wasn't worth it.
Clearly you've been asking out entirely the wrong guys. In all seriousness: it sucks that it went badly for you, but I think it's great that you at least tried.
I'm certainly not suggesting that my attitude is the norm. Of course, I'm also, um, not talking about having been asked out. The one time a girl verbally expressed her intentions to me, I think I might have broken her heart (I wasn't altogether nice). But there were extenuating circumstances! She'd been lying and I felt manipulated, so I didn't feel bad about it.
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
quote:Just remember, there are awesome women everywhere. Really.
Thanks for the hug.
And yeah, this time, I actually *do* understand there are other interesting women out there and I'm quite sure that I'll find someone else; not because I believe there's someone "waiting" for me out there, someone "special". Neah... It's simply a statistical truth... Just have to keep my eyes open! Posted by Sid Meier (Member # 6965) on :
Why would they have that horrified look? As for me I only give girls that "suspisious your planning to humiliate me again" look since whenever a girl tries to ask me out its always the mean girls trying to make me feel bad. As for good girls well I'm too shy so I never try to ask any of them out since well I'm a tad overweight (seriously just a tad I carry weight well since I'm tallish) so I'm not really confident about myself though that could also be from all the belittling I get from my older sister... So I want lose 10 pounds first and when I have some money saved up then I'll ask a girl out using info I pick up from Hatrack. (the reason why I want money before dating is so I can pay for dinner and get the occasional gift).
My Life story.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
Well, twink, that was a while ago; I don't know how Jim would feel about me asking guys out now.
I tried, but mainly I tried cause no one was asking me out. I told myself, suck it up, the worst they can do is say no, right? Wrong! The worst they can do is look at you as if you've suddenly developed leprosy right there in front of them, and they're going to catch it!
Then again, I guess that's true of anyone asking anyone else out. Maybe giving out a polite rejection is something that girls have more practice at, since it's usually guys who do the asking. I'd imagine there are some girls who would've also responded to being asked out by guys in the same way that those guys responded to me.
And, like I said, maybe I really was that repulsive. Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
(For both Corwin and Megan.)
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
quote:Maybe giving out a polite rejection is something that girls have more practice at, since it's usually guys who do the asking.
Maybe... See, that's why this thing needs practice! Girls have to ask out more, and guys have to learn - from girls, it seems - how to be polite when they aren't interested. Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
quote:Originally posted by Megan: Well, twink, that was a while ago; I don't know how Jim would feel about me asking guys out now.
I'm totally ok with it... I like aggressive women Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
I should've been more specific. I meant my husband, whose name is Jim.
Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
Jim - sometimes you're priceless.
Posted by Chungwa (Member # 6421) on :
I consider myself half way intelligent.
But in social situations that I'm uncomfortable with (being most social situations!) I often say stupid or mean things by mistake.
For example, when people are feeling guilty and I think it's silly that they feel guilty I might laugh a bit - my friends don't take offense because they know why I'm laughing. People I don't know sometimes think I'm a jerk.
But I hate cold stew, or chili. You know, when it gets all that yucky solidified grease in it?
[ July 24, 2005, 04:22 PM: Message edited by: Chungwa ]
Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
quote:Originally posted by Farmgirl: Jim - sometimes you're priceless.
Only sometimes? Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Yes.
Shall we start the bidding?
Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :
... People who're actually intelligent, but when you need a serious comment from them - they act as if they're two-year-olds?
Although we still forgive jebus for everything.
[ July 24, 2005, 05:31 AM: Message edited by: Jonathan Howard ]
Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
by all means... do I hear $.02?
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*raises paddle*
Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
There's going to be paddles involved? Whoa! You'd better start asking higher prices if it's going to get all kinky like that.
--Enigmatic
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*raises eyebrow*
Posted by BelladonnaOrchid (Member # 188) on :
People who see me spinning wool or knitting and their first remark is that it is a 'grandma hobby'.
These are obviously not 'grandma hobbies', if I am 23 and have no children.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Well, but they're right. I mean, my mother wasn't a grandmother when she started knitting (years and years ago), but she is now.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
quote:Originally posted by BelladonnaOrchid: People who see me spinning wool or knitting and their first remark is that it is a 'grandma hobby'.
Being a spinster is definitely NOT a trait of grandmotherhood.
Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
quote:Originally posted by Enigmatic: There's going to be paddles involved? Whoa! You'd better start asking higher prices if it's going to get all kinky like that.
I'm probably due... I haven't been paddled since I cussed in 8th grade Gym Class.
Rivka, looks like your $.02 is gonna carry the day... Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*ups vote to $1*
Err, Tante . . . PrettyFlower isn't a spinster . . .
Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
*wonders how long he can keep Rivka bidding agains herself* Posted by Sopwith (Member # 4640) on :
You cannot reach a wonderful girl without releasing Mom's apron strings a little bit.
Get over it, grow a pair and ask the girl out. Rarely does a woman pick up a pair of flashlights and guide you in like a fighter plane landing on an aircraft carrier.
Look, if you're interested in someone, by the third time you meet, just ask them out. Nothing serious, just ask. It's either yes or no. What's the big deal?
Hovering around, hoping, waiting, praying for some grand invitation is well, honestly, a bit creepy and stalkerish. And honestly, most times, if you don't make some sort of move, well, there you stand motionless as the world goes on past you.
Why take the time and make it a Big Deal (TM) in your own head? It just makes you more nervous (which is very easy to spot) and for so many people creates a self-fulfilling prophesy (I'll never have a girl like that, so I'm not going to ask her out... yadda yadda yadda). Dinner with Mom and Dad on Friday night's so much easier.
Sheeeesh. Just ask. You might just surprise yourself.
And that first kiss thing... quit making it into a big deal, too. If you had a great time and really connected (you'll know), at the end of the date just say, "I really had a great time and I was wondering if I could have a goodnight kiss."
Yanno, I'm not a terribly attractive guy and I'm not swimming in money but I've only been turned down for a date two or three times when I've asked. And if I felt comfortable enough to ask for a kiss goodnight, I've never been turned down for it.
You can be the "nice guy" true and true and still date. You've just got to be sincere, honest and straightforward. Not asking someone out is hiding your feelings. Not asking someone for a goodnight kiss you'd really like to have is hiding something. People who hide often aren't easily found, understand?
And as my Pastor's mother advised him before his first date, "Hank, remember, girls like to be kissed as much as boys like to kiss them."
Posted by Tresopax (Member # 1063) on :
quote:Get over it, grow a pair and ask the girl out. Rarely does a woman pick up a pair of flashlights and guide you in like a fighter plane landing on an aircraft carrier.
Look, if you're interested in someone, by the third time you meet, just ask them out. Nothing serious, just ask. It's either yes or no. What's the big deal?
Hovering around, hoping, waiting, praying for some grand invitation is well, honestly, a bit creepy and stalkerish. And honestly, most times, if you don't make some sort of move, well, there you stand motionless as the world goes on past you.
But this advice would apply just the same to girls waiting to ask out guys, no?
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
quote:Originally posted by rivka: Err, Tante . . . PrettyFlower isn't a spinster . . .
But, by her own admission, she spins wool. Posted by Tresopax (Member # 1063) on :
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