On Saturday my sister-in-law made a fairly serious attempt at suicide. You may remember my "elegant affair" thread, about my partner's 30th party. Her sister, "J", only held off her attempt so that she wouldn't wreck my partner's party. She was fairly serious about it, taking a large quantity of sleeping pills in addition to some pain meds which she's allergic to.
They got to her on time, she had her stomach pumped and is recovering. Her reasons are many-fold and frankly with the stuff she's experienced I can't put too much blame on her for wanting to end it all.
My partner jumped on a plane and is staying with her now. She's the second oldest of six children, while "J" is the third youngest at 24. All of the family except for my partner live in the same state quite close to each other. It's a horribly fractured family, filled with some really good people who are terribly conflicted, confused and at complete odds with each other. I won't go into detail, but it's one of the worst family situations of heard of where people aren't actually intentionally abusing each other. Everyone ( and I include us in this as well) is far from being financially secure with money a constant problem.
As soon as we heard, I knew my partner had to go, even though she wasn't sure. She's different from the rest of her family, she has such a good and beautiful soul and even though I knew that this trip would test her personal strength, I also had a feeling that she would be the only one to be able to pull her family together and truly help her sister.
It seems to be working. Everyone is rallying around my partner and helping her to help her sister as much as possible. We willingly spent my partner's birthday money to get her up there - it was the only money we had, but we spent it in love and joy that she was still with us, trying hard not to let the rest of the family know that it was a financial hardship for us, considering how tough the rest of the family does it. Yet tonight they forced money on my partner, having guessed how we afforded the trip - even the teenage siblings contributed from their own hard-earned pockets.
It's hard to define, but I can feel from the tone of her voice the strength that my partner is gaining, even though she feels weak. I can sense (even see, in my minds eye) how through her selflessness she's helping to heal such a broken family, as well as helping her sister.
It's amazing the effect this kind of near-tragedy has on people. I know we've seen it all before, but this is the first time I've had personal experience...
I'm rambling now...... it's hard to sleep without my girl next to me... Damn I'm proud of her tho.
Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
thanks for sharing that... God Bless you all.
Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
But also because of how well things seem to be working out.
Posted by Troubadour (Member # 83) on :
Where else to share these things but at the 'rack? Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
**many hugs** to you, your partner, and her family. I hope things continue to improve.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Troubadour, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Posted by CT (Member # 8342) on :
Wonderful that you and she have each other, Troubs. You can be the well at which the other refills.
*big hug
Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :
*big hugs*
Posted by Rakeesh (Member # 2001) on :
*high-five* Glad to hear the good news (not of course the attempted suicide, the rest)
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
The world needs more folks like you guys.
I also hope that things continue to improve with everyone's situation and stay with that improved state.
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
It is amazing sometimes how some families can rally when they're under pressure, it's an example of real love, I think.
I'm sorry you're going through it though.
*hugs*
Posted by Sid Meier (Member # 6965) on :
Partner...?
I hope everything goes okay, I've been entertaining similar thoughts but I keep getting over them the next day, I figure I'll just move out in a month and my sister will stop screeching at me. If I had my paycheck and if I knew your address I would send flowers though that may seem kinda creepy so I won't even if I knew/had either.
Posted by kwsni (Member # 1831) on :
I hope things continue to go better.
Ni!
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
Troub...loving and healing thoughts going out to your SIL, I hope she can come back from this and be strong. And of course lovr and strength to you, your partner and the whole family. Keep us updated.
Posted by Wendybird (Member # 84) on :
I'm glad she can show the strength and beauty you knew she has. Bless you for supporting her and you both for doing what you know is right despite the personal costs.... not everyone would make those sacrifices. Prayers for your family.
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
You brought tears to my eyes Troubs, thanks for posting that. The world would be a lost cause without people like you in it. Your SIL is in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you.
Posted by Sopwith (Member # 4640) on :
My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.
Posted by Troubadour (Member # 83) on :
Thanks all for your well-wishing and prayers. We're both fine tho and the SIL seems to be opening up. I don't know when my gal will be home, I hope it's soon, but neither of us want her to leave until she's got her sister settled into therapy.
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Damn I'm proud of her tho.
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