I mean, I would freak right the heck out, personally. I'd get it off me as soon as possible, then probably try to catch it, but the freaking out would be totally concurrent with these activities.
How about you? Just curious.
[ August 05, 2005, 12:35 PM: Message edited by: Olivet ]
Posted by MandyM (Member # 8375) on :
The very least, I would be pantless. Not just for a tarantula; any kind of spider would do. Personally those huge wolf spiders creep me out waaaaaay more than a tarantula would.
What kind of question is this anyway???
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
Politely excuse myself, remove my pants, shake out the tarantula, entrap it in a box, don my pants, and rejoin the group, having a show-and-tell with my new pet tarantula, Levi.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
I would be Freaking Out and more than likely shouting expletives.
...and that's only if I didn't die of shock first.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Which part? In the pocket? Up from the leg? Someone dropped down down my front?
1. Pocket: Pants off, me jumping up and down on them, and then throwing them away.
2. Up from the leg: lots of dancing around, possibly shouting, probably running into a lake. There should be a lake. There's a tarantula in my pants - I had better be outside enjoying myself.
3. Someone dropped it down the front: lots of screaming, blood, and plots of revenge would ensue. None of them mine.
Posted by The Pixiest (Member # 1863) on :
Stop, Drop, N Roll?
Would the massive case of the willies I would get from tarantula guts smashed into my underclothing be any worse than the massive case of the willies I would have from having a giant spider in my pants?
I don't think I would want to touch it with my hands to get it off either (You know, unless I was mopping up it's ichor.)
I'm with Mandy though.. What kind of question is this??? (and why am I answering it?)
Pix
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
So who would be plotting, Katie?
Oh, and if this is hypothetical, that "was" in the title ought to be "were." [/subjunctive police]
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
I wouldn't be able to kill it...the feeling of 'squish and crunch' would be too much for me I think.
I also wouldn't be able to rip off my pants in public. I'd find a movie poster or something to hide behind (because of course this happened in a very realistic 3D version of a spider movie.)
Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :
Okay, backstory:
I was chatting with mackillian, and she told me of a conversation she had with another Hatracker, who had been surprised by a tarantula crawling up inside her pants while she was on the computer.
Evidently this was a spider of significant size. She was not sanguine about it, but her fella shrugged it off with "It's just a spider."
This became a discussion topic, with some of our buddies asserting that they wouldn't freakout, while others claimed to be ready to die on the spot.
So I thought I'd see how the Hatrack population at large would handle such an event.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Oh, pantless with hesitation, totally.
Posted by LordKaosnix (Member # 8458) on :
Drop Trough Unfold my knife Slide blade slowly down my leg Blunt on skin Edge slightly away Get under the Spider before he notices Flick it away Raise Trough swiftly Stomp the life out of spider
~Kn
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
rivka, That's a nasty case of subjunctivitis you've got there.
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
Pants are gone. Don't care where I am, big hairy spiders are worse than nudity.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
There is a dance called the Tarentella... it normally has a pretty frantic triplet rythmn pattern to it.
AJ
Posted by Gryphonesse (Member # 6651) on :
I'd be worried about killing the spider... I always wanted a tarantula
BUGS on the other hand - everything below the waist is GONE and I'm a screaming streak headed to the bathroom to check my butt crack in the mirror. How do I know? It's happened. In about ten seconds flat. My best friend's daughter still laughs when she talks about my "Happy Dance"...
Posted by kojabu (Member # 8042) on :
I think I'd be doing that dance (the Tarentella) to get the spider out of my pants. And I'd totally be freaking out.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
Probably about 20 seconds of blind panic which would include knocking off the tarantula, removing the pants and throwing them, and running, along with expletives.
Then I wouldn’t be able to go anywhere near the spot I was standing.
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
*points to afr's post*
Ditto.
Posted by Jhai (Member # 5633) on :
This thread is like talk of snakes crawling up toilets while you're on them. There are some places your mind just shouldn't go.
I've got the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it. Posted by kojabu (Member # 8042) on :
Ah! I don't want to think about that! The spider in the pants is slightly more tolerable than snakes up a toilet! Ah!
Posted by arevoj (Member # 7347) on :
I wouldn't "do" anything, having just dropped dead from the heart attack which occurred upon realizing there was a tarantula in my pants.
btw,
quote:who had been surprised by a tarantula crawling up inside her pants while she was on the computer.
I would never have thought to worry about such a thing... until now. Luckily, there aren't many (any?) tarantulas just walking about around here. At least I hope there aren't.
edit: addition
Posted by Rico (Member # 7533) on :
Wait, why would a tarantula be in my pants? Did you put it there? Why would you do something like that, we don't even know each other!
And what are you doing putting things in my pants anyhow?
*mutters* People these days...
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
"Is that a tarantula in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?"
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
I still stand by my reasoning that if there was a tarantula in my pants and it crawled out on it's own, I would catch it and sell it on EBAY.
However, if it was still in my pants at the time I noticed it there, I would see if I could reach into my pants to grab the thing. If not, I would immediately take my pants off and capture it, and sell it on EBAY for even more.
I mean... if you saw a object that said "THIS SPIDER WAS IN MY PANTS!!!" with a very articulate story behind it, you'd bid on it. I could probably make a good 30 bucks off that. Probably 50 if I threatened to kill it.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
If you threatened to feed a hamster to it, you'd hit three digits easy.
Posted by Hamson (Member # 7808) on :
quote:Originally posted by T_Smith: I mean... if you saw a object that said "THIS SPIDER WAS IN MY PANTS!!!" with a very articulate story behind it, you'd bid on it. I could probably make a good 30 bucks off that. Probably 50 if I threatened to kill it.
Funniest. Thing. Ever.
Posted by Sid Meier (Member # 6965) on :
lol, 30 seconds of stunned panic then wild screaming, I had a similar experiance with a giant bumblebee buzzing straigh for my eyes, I was sitting down so I leaned my chair backwards and fell over.
Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :
To clarify, I think they are fairly common where the girl lives, if I have the story straight. She felt something tickling, shook her pant leg, and a tarantula fell out.
If that happened to me, I'd freak right the heck out, for at least a minute. THEN I'd catch it and show it to the boys. Or maybe scare the bejebus out of my husband, the arachnophobe.
If this happened to him, he would spray the whole house before he went to bed, even if it took floodlights on at 3am.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
quote:I was sitting down so I leaned my chair backwards and fell over.
I hope you weren't hurt, but the mental image when I read this was funny as hell.
Posted by J T Stryker (Member # 6300) on :
I'd be bitten and die.... no doubt...
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Olivet, danke. Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :
Happy to please! Posted by The Reader (Member # 3636) on :
I would start crying, wet my pants, and pass out, because when it comes to spiders, I am a huge wuss. The bigger the spider, the bigger the wuss. When I wake up, I would hope that it wasn't digesting my, uh, parts.
And the little hairs that it shoots would just add insult to injury.
Posted by Verily the Younger (Member # 6705) on :
*is pleased that he has finally learned how to get a girl out of her pants*
Posted by raventh1 (Member # 3750) on :
I like spiders.
Posted by Sid Meier (Member # 6965) on :
even camel spiders?
Posted by Tstorm (Member # 1871) on :
I've had spiders crawl on me before. If I knew it was a poisonous variety, I might wait it out, until it left my pants. Non-poisonous, then it's dead. On the spot.
Shower...
Then chemical warfare.
Posted by Avadaru (Member # 3026) on :
I would certainly become hysterical. I become hysterical when I SEE spiders. I have run into brick walls before when I even think I have one on me, just trying to get away from it. I have a completely irrational fear of them. I hate, hate, hate spiders.
Posted by Daric (Member # 8402) on :
I just don't wear pants. Solves most of my problems. Still can't get a date to homecoming for some reason though.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
My sister put her pet tarantula down the back of my nightgown once.
I screamed and ran around and almost squished it.
In my defense, I was 9 at the time.
[ August 06, 2005, 03:53 AM: Message edited by: ketchupqueen ]
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
You don't need a defense. I'm 25 and if my sister did that to me, I'd react the same as you did at 9.
And then I would hunt down my sister. Posted by Will B (Member # 7931) on :
What I would do:
years of therapy.
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
When we were both teens my brother chased me around the house with crawfish heads on his fingers.
He and my stepdad had been eating them (my mother and I were too civilized to eat such nastiness) and when he finished he put crawfish heads on all ten fingers and chased me.
I did not like it, not at all.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
A friend of mine from Georgia had never had lobster other than the easy man's way (already out of the shell, etc). So, unsuspecting, she ordered lobster while visiting me up here.
Out came the lobster nicely done up on a plate at the restaurant, still fully intact and pleasantly red.
My friend=
However, she was brave and attempting eating the lobster, all while feel sorry for the poor creature, bless its heart.
Me, being the friend I am, pointed out that his eyes were still looking at her. Then another friend with us picked UP the lobster and made it dance.
That was the end of my friend eating the lobster.
I don't think she's forgiven us for that.
We did send her a stuffed lobster for christmas. Posted by Dead_Horse (Member # 3027) on :
Mmmm...stuffed with crab?
Posted by Daric (Member # 8402) on :
THAT would be an expensive gift.
Posted by Sid Meier (Member # 6965) on :
=> Lobster
Posted by jebus202 (Member # 2524) on :
Probably freak out, definitly start smashing it through my pants.
Posted by Dante (Member # 1106) on :
Talk about topical...my girlfriend's cousin got back from a camping trip yesterday, and as he was taking off his pants, he noticed a tarantula in them.
As it was related to me, he screamed and ran out of the room. His mom and sister didn't believe him, so they went in, saw the thing, screamed and ran out of the room. Finally his dad went in and caught it in a mason jar.
Posted by LordKaosnix (Member # 8458) on :
quote:Originally posted by Olivet: To clarify, I think they are fairly common where the girl lives, if I have the story straight. She felt something tickling, shook her pant leg, and a tarantula fell out.
If that happened to me, I'd freak right the heck out, for at least a minute. THEN I'd catch it and show it to the boys. Or maybe scare the bejebus out of my husband, the arachnophobe.
If this happened to him, he would spray the whole house before he went to bed, even if it took floodlights on at 3am.
I live in a place like that. Snakes (Goffer, Rattle, Cobra, Grass, King), hundreds of Spiders types, field Mice, Rats (no neck types, twitchy neck types, Kangaroo types), Possum demons from hell, other bugs, that sort of thing.
Just the normal So. California type of oddities. Spraying doesnt always help. I remeber on time i was in my bedroom and out of the corner of my eye i see this three inch Black spider emerge from this tiney dot opening in the corner of the wall.
Another time, more recently, I was reading on the corner of my bed and out of the vents a freckly sort of spider drops down onto my book Mission Impossible style.
At work is worse! I wont tell you all horror stories but once I saw a Orange and White thing about 2 1/3 inches long clinging to the other side of the window. Naturally i assume it's a Scorpian. So I grab the Fog style Black Flag kill all and foam it to death. As it writhes in pain on the floor i realize it aint no Scorpian, the baby was a neon orange spider.
Honestly Im more scared of the bugs we got out were i work then the Coyotes.
Posted by Astaril (Member # 7440) on :
I had a 4-5 inches across wolf spider in my underwear once in Coventry. Alas, I wasn't wearing them at the time; that would've made for a far better story. I was *about* to wear them though. I've always been glad it wasn't in, say, the big sweatshirt I was putting on instead. 5 inch spiders are relatively easy to spot in women's underwear. Sweatshirts hiding large spiders can more easily lead to disaster, by which I mean the increased likelihood of my falling down two flights of stairs while flailing trying to take off the sweatshirt and breaking not only my neck but those of the people inevitably coming up at the same time because that's how my luck goes.
But you know, I think squashing the big grasshopper inside my shoe with my bare foot that one time was worse.
Posted by Glenn Arnold (Member # 3192) on :
I'd say: "Kurt! Where've you been all these years?"
(Kurt ran away on Christmas Day many years ago. I still miss him/her)
How long can a tarantula live, anyway?
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
quote:I wont tell you all horror stories but once I saw a Orange and White thing about 2 1/3 inches long clinging to the other side of the window.
I would FREAK OUT! First of all- reading this whole thread has been making me shake, shiver, twitch the whole way through (I saw the movie arachnophobia too many times as a child- starting when I was like 4) Then I'd run to the nearest private place get my pants off as soon as possible and crush the thing until it was dead- until I could see its little ooze coming out of it- otherwise- *shake*
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
I'd like to say I'd calmly shake the tarantula out, pick it up, and place it in the garden.
But bunbun would read it and tell you'd I'd do an amazing rendition of the Jump Around Removing All One's Clothing While Screaming Like a Little Girl dance.
So I won't.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
quote:Jump Around Removing All One's Clothing While Screaming Like a Little Girl dance.
I'd pay to see that.
Posted by Ophelia (Member # 653) on :
quote: even camel spiders?
According to the article I was reading in the September* 2005 Discover today, camel spiders don't even have any venom and are pretty much harmless to humans. They just have a really bad rep because they look scary.
There were some other spiders in that article that really freaked me out, though, like the hobo spider (main subject of the article) and its cousin the brown recluse.
I have now exhausted the majority of my spider-knowledge.
As for what I'd do if there were a tarantula in my pants . . . I'd freak out. But after reading that article, I'd freak out about most spiders (since the two dangerous ones I mentioned pretty much just look like normal spiders and I'd want to get rid of them before they bit me) anywhere near me. Except the camel spider, as it is pretty unique looking, and I could recognize it now. I would just look at it for a while before getting it to leave the apartment (because even if it's not dangerous, I don't want large spiders around my home freaking out any guests I may have).
*Not that this has anything to do with the topic, but it really bothers me that magazines are always dated way, way later than when they actually come out.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
quote:*Not that this has anything to do with the topic, but it really bothers me that magazines are always dated way, way later than when they actually come out.
I like it. It makes me feel like I am in the know before everyone else.
The best is Sports Illustrated, because they'll print the results of games that haven't been played yet. Spoils some of the suspense, but it's great for betting with the bookies.
Posted by JaimeBenlevy (Member # 6222) on :
Tarantulas and snakes are my two biggest fears. I've had a bad, bad experience with a snake and tarantulas are just creepy. If I caught one in my pants? Probably reach in, grab it by a leg, throw it far, and run away with a stream of inappropriate words coming out of my mouth. If it were a snake wrapped around my leg, I can't even begin to imagine what I'd do.
Posted by SpiffWilkie (Member # 8464) on :
I once had a cockroach (one of those BIG southern Cali roaches) crawl up my pants. I was at someone's house in Santa Ana and tried to kick the roach out of the door instead of smashing it into their floor. However, it was quite agile and managed to scurry up my shoe and into my pants. I calmly (well, I was much calmer than my mission companion who shrieked and jumped around all crazy-like) went to the bathroom and removed my pants and then the roach scurried under the bathtub...lucky for him!
Posted by Alucard... (Member # 4924) on :
I entered the foray a bit late here but I thought the right answer to the question should be:
Q: Hypothetically, if there were a tarantula in your pants...what would you do?
A: Introduce it to all the other amazing creatures down there and hope there is not some struggle for territory...
But seriously folks, I am WAY WAY freaked out by bugs, and I mean insects. If a spider crawls on me, I don't even flinch. I don't mind them. But if 2 or 3 teeny tiny ants crawl up my arm, I am shaking and flinching like a frightened school girl in pigtails...
Even gnats freak me out.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote:Originally posted by LordKaosnix: I live in a place like that. Snakes (Goffer, Rattle, Cobra, Grass, King), hundreds of Spiders types, field Mice, Rats (no neck types, twitchy neck types, Kangaroo types), Possum demons from hell, other bugs, that sort of thing.
Just the normal So. California type of oddities.
Where the heck in SoCal do you live?! Please tell me it's far away from me! Posted by firebird (Member # 1971) on :
Being English, I missunderstood the question first time round.
But if there were a tarantula in my trousers on the other hand ... No I can't, just thinking about it gives me the shivers!
I did once call into my tent to find a scorpion and a snake on my sleeping bag (camping in the Ecuadorian jungle). We got rid of them but the guides wandering hands were even worse. I ended up sleeping on the stove. Not comfortable but at least safe!
Posted by MandyM (Member # 8375) on :
I am now wearing tighter (so a tarantula would have a hard time getting in at all), easy to remove (providing the ability to get them off faster in an emergency) pants because of this thread so now I am wearing those lovely, elastic waist grandma pants three sizes too small. You have ruined all my fashion sense with this spider thread. THANKS! Posted by Sid Meier (Member # 6965) on :
what r poisenous spiders in Canada? specifically... quebec...
Posted by LordKaosnix (Member # 8458) on :
quote:Originally posted by rivka:
Where the heck in SoCal do you live?! Please tell me it's far away from me!
I live in small Californian town calld Wasco Were I work is in a even smaller and dryer town calld Lost Hills.
Eighteen Miles from Wasco, Lost Hills is were all the mutations live. Lost Hills also has a lot of refineries, oil fields, garbage dumps, and truckers.
Wasco, mostly just the normal stuff, is 48 miles from Bakersfield.
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Lobster
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