For those of you who have never read the Screwtape Letters by C. S. Lewis, it's about a tempter, or devil, called Screwtape. Screwtape is writing to a devil in training called Wormwood. Wormwood is often having problems tempting his victims, so Screwtape is advising him on the proper technique.
In one chapter Screwtape is speaking about unselfishness and charity. In this passage he briefly speaks about the different views between the man and the woman.
Remember that since these are devils talking, "The Enemy" referred to is God and "Our Father" would be Satan.
quote: Another great help, where the parties concerned are male and female, is the divergence of view about Unselfishness which we have built up between the sexes. A woman means by Unselfishness chiefly taking trouble for others; a man means not giving trouble to others. As a result, a woman who is quite far gone in the Enemy's service will make a nuisance of herself on a larger scale than ant man except those whom Our Father has dominated completely: and, conversely, a man will live long in the Enemy's camp before he undertakes as much spontaneous work to please others as a quite ordinary woman may do every day. Thus while the woman thinks of doing good offices and the man of respecting other people's rights, each sex, without any obvious unreason, can and does regard the other as radically selfish.
So what are your thoughts on the subject? Would you agree about the differences between men and women's views on selflessness? For those of you who are married, can that cause problems in a marriage?
?
P.S. I don't really know how much of a book passage I can post before having Copyright problems. If this passage is too much I'll edit it or delete it. Please let me know.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
For those of us that are married, it doesn't really matter if our differences are shared with the rest of our sex or not. Husband and wife are two different people, and they will see things differently all tht time.
Misunderstandings like the one mentioned there do cause problems all the time. Because of that, I think that two of the most important things you can do in marriage is 1) be quick to forgive, even when you don't feel you should be required to and 2) be quick to ask forgiveness, even when you shouldn't have to.
Posted by aspectre (Member # 2222) on :
No problem. Selecting passages for discussion is perfectly legal under the fair use provisions of copyright law.
Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
One caveat that Lewis makes in the introduction is that not everything Screwtape says should be considered true... "there is wishful thinking in hell as well".
That having been said, I think there is a tendency, which he is exaggerating here, in the sexes.
I *do* know that one of my ex-wife's chief gripes with me was that I did not anticipate her needs or do enough for her without being asked and that one of the things I really like about my current girlfriend is that she doesn't expect me to do anything she hasn't explicitly asked me to.
Posted by ReikoDemosthenes (Member # 6218) on :
One thing I have seen is that while women often critisize men for not being accomplished mind-readers (I've gotten this from my sisters and others on several occasions), men often either refuse to, are just to lazy to, or just don't think to go the extra mile, which I know I have been guilty of. The only things one can really do, that I know of, are what mph said about forgiveness, as well as constantly try to unlearn one's vice.