See, me and Niki (Valentine014) live in an apartment complex which has a very elderly population. The complex was created in the 70's, and it had a no kids policy (which isn't legal anymore) and so bunch of retired folks moved there when it opened up. Now its 25 years later, and apartments are starting to open up, for reasons you can probably guess.
We have already had one neighbor in the building next to ours pass away just a couple weeks ago.
But now we are wondering about the neighbor who loves directly across the hall from our apartment. She is a very elderly woman, I would guess late 80s to mid 90s.
The reason we are worried about her is that there has been a small package sitting outside her door for almost a week now. Its about the size and shape of a thin paperback book, and its propped up against the door in such a way that opening the door would cause the package to slide to the floor. So we know the door hasn't been opened in almost a week.
We're just wondering what the etiquette is for these type of situations. The obvious answer is to knock on the door, but if she was to answer it, would the proper response be to make up some excuse for having knocked? Just say we were stopping to say hello? I wouldn't think it polite to say we were checking to see if she was dead...
And if she doesn't answer, it might be because she's in the hospital, or visiting a relative, or whatever. It wouldn't mean she had passed away, necessarily. So if she didn't answer, should we call the apartment complex (or the police)? Or is it polite just to mind our own business?
Posted by Brinestone (Member # 5755) on :
If she answers the door, you can say you noticed she got a package and wanted to make sure she got it.
Posted by The Pixiest (Member # 1863) on :
Beat me too it, Brinestone.
And if she doesn't answer the door, call the cops.
Pix
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Exactly.
Or you could just call the non-emergency police line and let them know about it. If she is indeed dead, they will be able to find next-of-kin, etc.
Posted by Jess N (Member # 6744) on :
I agree...knock on the door. If she answers, no worries, mention the package. If she doesn't call the complex office. I'm sure that they wouldn't mind helping you find out if she's ok. If the complex office people are weird, and won't help, then call the police. The worst case would be that you find her;the best, you discover she's gone to visit her cousin in Rhode Island.
In cases like this, it's never polite to mind your own business.
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
Brinestone has the right thing to say if she answers the door.
If she doesn't you may want to call the complex manager using the same logic - you're concerned that a small package has been sitting outside her door for about a week. You wouldn't want it to be stolen, and since there was no answer, you're a little concerned.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Is there an on-site apartment manager? If so, you might ask them to check on her.
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
I definitely agree to call the apartment manager before the police, if she doesn't answer the door. They might know that she's out of town, for instance, and then you wouldn't waste the police's time, plus if she happens to be there and isn't answering the door for whatever reason it would be much less shocking to have the aparetment people come in than the police. Who would probably go to the apartment people to have the door opened, anyway.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
A very good point.
Posted by Xavier (Member # 405) on :
Sounds like we are reaching a consensus as to what I should do...
I guess I sort of already knew the answer, I just didn't want to seem like I was sticking my nose where it didn't belong. When I get home I'll see if the package is still there, and knock on her door if it is, and call the apartment people if no answer.
Thanks guys .
Posted by Theaca (Member # 8325) on :
My parents had to do that... their neighbor left the garage door open and a package out front and they called the cops. Cops found her dead on the bed. I believe they let my dad go in with them? I'll have to ask.
Posted by sarahdipity (Member # 3254) on :
Or you could also bake her chocolate chip cookies and take them over. My roommate and I did that and took them to some of our older neighbors. They loved it.
Posted by Kama (Member # 3022) on :
Let us know.
Posted by Valentine014 (Member # 5981) on :
Thank goodness! The package is gone! Thanks for advice everyone. Glad we didn't have to "find" her.
Posted by CStroman (Member # 6872) on :
The package missing doesn't mean she actually got it.
I'd still call the manager and at least make sure you have confirmation that she's alive.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
quote:Originally posted by sarahdipity: Or you could also bake her chocolate chip cookies and take them over. My roommate and I did that and took them to some of our older neighbors. They loved it.
She doesn't suffer from panic attacks, does she?
(Otherwise a fine idea. )
Posted by Beren One Hand (Member # 3403) on :
That was one whacky story CT. Posted by LucyPevensie (Member # 8537) on :
I agree with CStroman, the package missing could just mean that someone not as nice as you came by and stole it. I would still knock on the door. Or even have a friend knock on the door and if she answers they can say that they thought it was your door.
I say even if you create an akward situation with your neighbor at least YOU know you did the right thing by checking on her.
Posted by Boon (Member # 4646) on :
I would just knock on the door and tell her you hadn't seen her in a few days and wanted to make sure everything was okay. I'd want my neighbors to do that, and I'm not elderly. Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
Or let teh manager know, and let him deal with it. He can find a reason to knock, and he might already know her.
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