quote:At least 13 people have disappeared from cruise ships in the past two years out of about 20 million passengers. A Senate hearing on cruise ship safety is scheduled this week in Washington
The video I saw was of a very, very small boat attacking a cruise ship. Don't the cruise lines have even the most basic defense systems? I would have thought that after 9/11, all major means of travel would have defense personel and weapons available to protect the passengers and crew.
Posted by Evie3217 (Member # 5426) on :
PIRATES! Avast ye mateys! Prepare to be boarded and walk the plank. Arrrrrrr! *wishes they had an eyepatch smiley*
Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
Most, if not all, cruise ships do not fly under the flag of the US - to do so would mean they would have to offer their employees at least minimum wage, health insurance, etc., so they save a lot of money by flying under the flag of other countries where no such laws apply.
I mention this to point out that they aren't obligated to follow most laws that would apply to US companies, and security would be one of them.
I suspect that they probably don't see it as enough of a problem to warrant the extra expenditures.
Posted by ReikoDemosthenes (Member # 6218) on :
The Globe and Mail article for that story said she had probably fallen overboard.
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
I'd be surprised if there weren't small arms for the security forces on board a cruise ship, but what do you really expect, that in case of emergency the pool on the aft deck will split in two and a 5 inch cannon will rise out of it to fend off attackers?
Combine that with the phalanx gun that rises out of the ninth hole of the mini golf course and the surface to surface missile battery in the solarium and I'm really surprised pirates even bother with cruise ships anymore.
Posted by LadyDove (Member # 3000) on :
quote:the pool on the aft deck will split in two and a 5 inch cannon will rise out of it to fend off attackers?
Combine that with the phalanx gun that rises out of the ninth hole of the mini golf course and the surface to surface missile battery in the solarium and I'm really surprised pirates even bother with cruise ships anymore.
I think that Geoff needs to read this and incorporate it into the next Sims/Battleship game.
Posted by Sterling (Member # 8096) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lyrhawn: I'd be surprised if there weren't small arms for the security forces on board a cruise ship, but what do you really expect, that in case of emergency the pool on the aft deck will split in two and a 5 inch cannon will rise out of it to fend off attackers?
Combine that with the phalanx gun that rises out of the ninth hole of the mini golf course and the surface to surface missile battery in the solarium and I'm really surprised pirates even bother with cruise ships anymore.
No. But man, that would be cool. Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
Actually, in WWI so called Q-ships (armed merchant ships that lured U-boats to surface) had concealed deck guns, which they would whip out unexpectedly and fire on submarines that thought they were defenseless.
I can just imagine the reaction of the first U-boat captains to run into this tactic. Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
One day when I'm rich and I buy a pleasure yacht, I'll have to be sure I take these sorts of safety measures into consideration.
Maybe I'll just settle for a torpedo tube that flips up from the sundeck.
I really should be in charge of new Cruise ship design. I could make Carnival luxurious enough to be the destination for a nation full of vacationers, and deadly enough to take on a Pacific carrier battle group.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
"You'll party the night away at our night clubs, then man the missile batteries at dawn for the invasion of Costa Rica. It's all part of our Fun-lover/Patriot package (insurance not included)"
Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
Also, I want a pirate smiley.
-pH
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
Fantastic Morbo!!
You'll be in charge of marketing!!
Screw Carnival, I'm forming my own cruiseline.
I think I need something snazzier than Pirate Cruise though. Who has ideas for a great company name and tagline/motto??
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
Cool, I'll be Vice-Admiral in charge of Marketing and Mayhem for...Yankee Cruise Lines.
Still working on a tagline.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
"Anyone who gets between us and our fun will be vaporized--Yankee style!"
Posted by Mindbowels (Member # 7407) on :
Pirates! Isn't that a Sid Meier game? A pretty good one at that!
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
Also, what do we name the first ship? None of those pansy names like Majesty of the Seas.
We need tough pirate ship names, but that are also guileful enough to make it past the inspectors and onto an actual ship registry.
We should target the ad campaign around an EXTREME vacationing experience. Sure, smuggling stolen diamonds through customs in Puerto Rico is exciting, but manning an anti-aircraft gun on your very own private balcony is much more of an adrenaline rush.
Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
...I know what I want to do for my honeymoon now.
Screw Atlantis.
-pH
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
Why vacation in Atlantis when you can conquer it onboard a Pirate Cruise?
Board the Jolly Roger in sunny Port Royale, Jamaica for a fun adventure on the high seas as you venture across the Atlantic Ocean. For the majority of your stay, enjoy our fine dining, spacious on board casino, top deck solarium and other accomodations.
But this is no ordinary cruise, the Jolly Roger is equipped with advanced "extreme" accomodations. Try your hand manning the aft torpedo bays as we run down merchant shipping vessels in the open sea.
For an extra fee, take part in an excursion and be a part of the boarding party sent to loot the ship, and keep all the booty you can carry!
At the end of our travel, we'll reach the lost city of Atlantis, where you will be invited to try your hand at the ship to shore missile batteries on the foredeck.
Next travel aboard a small luxurious 30' yacht to join in the boarding of the enchanted city. Once inside, feel free to rob, pillage or take one of the vacationers there to be held later for ransom.
Arrrrrrm yourself and be prepared for a vacation experience like no other. Don't let yourself be pillaged, take a Pirate Cruise!
Pirate Cruise, where you make everyone ELSE walk the plank!
Posted by Zarex (Member # 8504) on :
All crew members must wear eyepatches, colorful sashes, and cutlasses. Daggers between the teeth are a plus, but not necessary.
Posted by Zarex (Member # 8504) on :
All passengers will be issued muskets and ball pistols upon boarding.
Cruise Ship Names:
Jolly Roger The White Pearl (Cruise ships are just not painted black) Tortuga's Pride Deadman's Chest Davy Jones Yankee (Flagship)
TagLines:
Why risk taking a cruise on another line's ship when it will probably be blasted out of the water by one of ours?
Get ready for a non family oriented experience unlike any other.
--Lyrhawn
What do I get to be? I want a job on your cruise line.
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
Gunnery instructor? Someone has to harpoon all the frieght liners and heave to.
You can either be the Harpooner, or you can lead "shore excursions" (boarding parties).
Posted by Zarex (Member # 8504) on :
I'll take it.
I just also want to say that I really like my first tag line.
Posted by Boris (Member # 6935) on :
Just imagine. You've spent the weekend basting yourself under the tropical sun at a secret island get away. You're relaxed, but something's missing. You still have some pent up rage that needs a constructive release. Well, on our cruise lines, we have a "Pillage and Plunder" special package where you and your loved ones can help disable and capture a Taiwanese cargo ship. Then haul in a wealth of silk, fish, and bootleg DVDs. What more could you and your loved ones ask for than a quiet day of mindless violence and savagery? For our gold customer, we will even arm you with your choice of muskets, bayonets, and, for the high-rollers in our casino, semi-automatic weaponry. Regular customers can choose to wield a cutlass or fine French rapier. And for a few lucky people chosen randomly by our Pilagetron Lotto-bot Computer, you'll even be able to fire off the howitzers, grapling hooks, and boarding lines during the big event! So don't wait! Book a full stay on Piracy Cruiselines today! YAR!!!
Posted by Zarex (Member # 8504) on :
Ummm... we decided on Yankee cruise lines I thought?
Other than that, great job! You can work with Morbo in marketing. BTW, I meant I'd take the job leading the raiding parties. More interaction in that job.
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
I don't know how I feel about Yankee cruiselines, it makes me think of people in America from above the Mason-Dixon. I was hoping for something more nautical.
I'm open for suggestions, I haven't filed for the domain name yet.
And alright Zarex the job is yours. Just remember to always let the customers shoot first and ask questions later.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
The Yankee Cruise Line was kind of inspired by Lyrhawn's weird vision of heavily armed cruise ships, and Neal Stephenson's "Admiral Bob's National Security" mercenaries in Snow Crash.
But if we get a letter of marque from some willing small country, we could be Privateers Cruise Lines--pirates with a thin veneer of legality.
[ December 15, 2005, 08:44 PM: Message edited by: Morbo ]
Posted by Altáriël of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
AAARRRGGHH!!!
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
quote: I know what I want to do for my honeymoon now.
Screw Atlantis.
I'm afraid I completely misinterpreted this the first time I read it.
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
OO!! Morbo, I really like Privateer Cruise Lines!! So it shall be!
Now we need an ad campaign.
And Tom Tsk.
Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
You guys just have way, way, way too much time on your hands. *snort*
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
You have no idea quid.
I spent an hour and a half today making a snowman that looks like the Statue of Liberty.
I'd say that depicts someone who has a lot of spare time on his hands.
Posted by Astaril (Member # 7440) on :
Tom: Posted by LadyDove (Member # 3000) on :
How did you keep the torch lit?
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
It's meant to be symbolic, she'll eventually melt herself to death.
Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
Tom:
Wow, for once, my brain wasn't in the gutter. I didn't even think about that.
-pH
Posted by Zarex (Member # 8504) on :
What was that thread from a few days back where you put in your name and it gave you a slogan?
Posted by ricree101 (Member # 7749) on :
quote:Originally posted by Morbo: But if we get a letter of marque from some willing small country, we could be Privateers Cruise Lines--pirates with a thin veneer of legality.
After we take one over we can force the puppet government to give us a letter of marque. Sounds perfectly legal to me.
Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
I volunteer to be puppet dictator.
As long as I can rule my subjects with an iron fist.
-pH
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
I was on a cruise ship this summer. Enchilada of the Seas, or something like that. In case of pirate attack, we could have defended ourselves with the open mike at the karaoke bar.
Feelings. Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh Feelings... Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
quote:Originally posted by pH: I volunteer to be puppet dictator.
As long as I can rule my subjects with an iron fist.
-pH
I would so be sticking refrigerator magnets on your iron fist.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
Tante, bad karaoke is against the Geneva Conventions.
We want to be pirates, not war criminals.
Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
Tante, don't make me crush you.
I have minions. Don't question it!
-pH
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
lol, good pointe Morbo.
Crap, maybe I need a legal department too.
I wonder if Dag can find a way to make this look like a legal business.
Posted by ifmyheartcouldbeat (Member # 8692) on :
I'm actually related to a famous Pirate.
Captain Jean Laffite
I felt that was important to say during this thread because..well..it's about the only cool person I'm related to that at least SOME people (the history buffs anyhow) have heard of. and how often does a pirate thread come along??
So LaFitte disappeared in a hurricane. Maybe on Lyrhawn's cruise, LaFitte will appear again... if one drinks enough hurricanes.
Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
I volunteer to test this theory.
-pH
Posted by ifmyheartcouldbeat (Member # 8692) on :
quote:Originally posted by LadyDove: So LaFitte disappeared in a hurricane. Maybe on Lyrhawn's cruise, LaFitte will appear again... if one drinks enough hurricanes.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Slightly off the subject.
wait, do we have a subject?
anyway, I have experience being a puppet dictator. I had a box full of puppets when I was a kid.
I treated them cruelly and harshly as any true dictator with the name does.
Of course it all ended rather violently when the puppets revolted around my 15th birthday. They threatened to string me up, but I ran off to a foreign country with most of the toy box assets and lived the life of an exiled king for quite some time.
Posted by ifmyheartcouldbeat (Member # 8692) on :
My mom was just telling me how she thinks it's interesting that..
A. Shes related to a pirate who supposedly died in a hurricane..and fought at new orleans
B. The first and only time she ever got sick from alcohol was drinking a hurricane.. in New Orleans
C. There was just a huge hurricane in New Orleans..
hmm...
Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
Everyone knows I would be a MUCH better puppet dictator than Dan. It's so obvious.
-pH
Posted by ifmyheartcouldbeat (Member # 8692) on :
....drinking Four hurricanes.. my bad Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
Hurricanes do seem to be the sorts of things that would make one sick.
Hand grenades are superior to hurricanes, anyway.
-pH
Posted by LadyDove (Member # 3000) on :
quote:anyway, I have experience being a puppet dictator. I had a box full of puppets when I was a kid.
I treated them cruelly and harshly as any true dictator with the name does.
::wonders if Dan just illuminated some deep allusion from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory::
Posted by Zarex (Member # 8504) on :
Hmmmm, Which country will Dan or PH be the puppet dictator of? I say we take er... Taiwan!
Posted by aiua (Member # 7825) on :
I say we have a vote.
Posted by Zarex (Member # 8504) on :
Then I vote Taiwan.
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
I think I'll have to see a puppeteer-off to see who is the better puppet dictator.
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Tsk.
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