...(not really), but therefore, I propose an alternative. I proclaim a day of song and celebration of a couple of violent wars, a tiny bit of metal and a very, very, very, very, very long walk- in barefeet, nonetheless.
<cheesy announcer voice>Yes! Iiiiit's that time of year folks, when the chesnuts are roasting and the sleigh bells ring. Are you listening? Folks, this is the oooone and ooonly time of year when sleighbells are melted down into swords, dwarfs are far better than Father Christmas and we comandeer the reindeer because we have no other form of transport.
Yeah, I wrote it and many of you have seen them before (not all! not all!). Yeah, I'm a nasty grinchish, self-promoting Uruk uruk uruk (I made you out of clay), but I'm finished my exams, my train tickets are on my desk and Iiiii'll be hooome for Christmas, so bear with me, okay?
Two Examples, the rest you'll have to read on the other end of the link:
~
Do You Know What I Know (Do You Hear What I Hear) – Galadriel
Said the Dark Lord to the little rings Do you know what I know? Darkest lord to the little rings Do you know what I know? A ring, a ring most evil of them all I will forge it and all then will fall I will forge it and all then will fall
Said Isildur to the Darkest Lord Do you hear what I hear? Isildur to the Darkest Lord Do you hear what I hear? A war a war the sound of allied horde And a finger severed by my sword. A finger severed by my sword.
Said the evil ring to King Isildur Do you see what I see? Evil ring to King Isildur Do you see what I see? A bow, a bow, an ambush, an attack And an arrow stuck in your back, Yes an arrow stuck in your back.
Said Smeagol to his poor cousin. What is that I wants it?! Smeagol to his poor cousin Deagol. What is that I wants it?! Preciousss, Preciousss, shining in the sun And a murder can never be undone And a murder can never be undone.
Said Bilbo making riddles in the dark. What is this I’ve found here? Bilbo making riddles in the dark. What is this I’ve found here? A ring, a ring, a magic band of gold A pretty little thing to behold, Yes, a pretty little thing to behold.
~
Uruk (Dreidl) Chorus and Saruman
Uruk, Uruk, Uruk, I made you out of mud And when you're dry and ready You'll go and chase man blood.
Enjoy them and Merry Christmas Hatrack! (And a Happy Pippin).
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
I thought there already was an alternative-- Festivus!
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
This is better.
*schniff*
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
quote:Originally posted by ketchupqueen: I thought there already was an alternative-- Festivus!
Blast you, KQ, you beat me! Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
I'll get the aluminum pole!
Posted by kmbboots (Member # 8576) on :
Teshi, that was brilliant.
Posted by Joldo (Member # 6991) on :
Airing of grievances!
Teshi, your superior creative skills make me angry!
Posted by dh (Member # 6929) on :
Posted by Stephan (Member # 7549) on :
Well today is the Winter Solistice, held in esteeem by pagans and wiccans.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
I'm glad you posted these again Teshi. They're brilliant, and there is a whole new crop of people here that haven't had the fortune to read them.
I was impressed by this when you first posted them, and I'm no less impressed this year.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
quote:Sauron the Big Eye Is a jolly nasty soul With a mount called Doom and a golden ring And a penchant for control
Posted by starLisa (Member # 8384) on :
quote:Originally posted by ketchupqueen: I thought there already was an alternative-- Festivus!
<nod> For the rest of us.
But what's the equivalent of Feats of Strength on a message board?
Posted by erosomniac (Member # 6834) on :
Chrismahannukwanzakuh for me, thanks.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
quote:But what's the equivalent of Feats of Strength on a message board?
Winning an argument? Most excellent Google-fu? 5,000 posts in six months? (Tante's almost there!)
Posted by Astaril (Member # 7440) on :
Awesome, Teshi. My favourites are Run Run Run (Run Run Run Run Run Run Run Run...) and Silent Ent.
Do you mind if I send the link to a few non-Hatrack friends of mine who might appreciate it?
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
God rest you merry Hobbiton, let nothing you dismay! Because of budget cutbacks, Saruman has stayed away! No Shire-scouring has occurred, and all will be okay!
Oh tidings of hairy feet and ale, hairy feet and ale. Oh tidings of hairy feet and ale!
In Rivendale, Imladris, a King was kept from harm, And raised to restore kingdoms with strength and wit and charm And generous assistance of short guys from the farm.
Oh tidings of hairy feet and ale, hairy feet and ale. Oh tidings of hairy feet and ale!
Posted by Evie3217 (Member # 5426) on :
These are great! Long live the Lord of the Rings Christmas!
Posted by erosomniac (Member # 6834) on :
quote:God rest you merry Hobbiton, let nothing you dismay! Because of budget cutbacks, Saruman has stayed away! No Shire-scouring has occurred, and all will be okay!
LOL
Dagonee, you're my hero for the day. It says so on the wall of my workplace.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
quote:Originally posted by ketchupqueen:
quote:But what's the equivalent of Feats of Strength on a message board?
Winning an argument? Most excellent Google-fu? 5,000 posts in six months? (Tante's almost there!)
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I'm glad you posted these again Teshi. They're brilliant, and there is a whole new crop of people here that haven't had the fortune to read them.