One of my roomies (who is in other ways the ideal tenant) has a girlfriend who's been doing deeply hurtful things to me.
However, she's convinced her boyfriend that she never tells lies, and she's lied to him about the really vile verbal abuse she's done towards me. As well as lied about her violating my private property, then telling me it was my fault for not telling her she wasn't allowed to enter my room and use my stuff for offensive purposes.
Again, my roomie has excused her, pointing out that she had a bad upbringing, thus cannot be expected to understand things like privacy and respect.
And she told him she never said any of that nasty stuff and she -never- lies to him, so...
Ugh.
I don't want to offend him, but I'm getting the feeling more and more that she has a personality disorder of some sort. She's definitely using him.
I wouldn't even care about that, but I don't trust her to leave me alone.
She's shown herself to be either in serious need of therapy...or just not caring about how she acts.
Posted by erosomniac (Member # 6834) on :
That sucks.
Don't live with it. Talk to your roomie and tell him that if he doesn't do something about it, you will. If you're being verbally abused in your own home and she's violating your personal property and space, I think it's pretty reasonable of you to ask your roomie to either keep her under control or stop taking responsibility for her.
Posted by Tinros (Member # 8328) on :
Whoever says they never tell a lie is telling a lie. Even saying someone's outfit looks good when you really think it's horrendous is a lie.
I think your roommate just needs to realize this now. I know how hurtful it can be, finding out you've been decieved.
I've never had a roomie, so that's all I can say.
You're in my prayers.
Posted by sweetbaboo (Member # 8845) on :
If you're roomie won't respect what YOU say (especially if he is a "tennant"), then what other choice do you have but to explain that the girlfriend isn't welcome in YOUR home as long as she is disrepectful and only you can be the judge of that as long as he isn't able/willing to see it.
That's my two cents. Good luck!
Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
Get a lock on your bedroom door if you haven't already (if she's bypassed locks, get a camera to record her breaking into your room), and if you can, get a digital voice recorder and record her verbal abuse. Then play back to roomie.
Her behavior is crap. Her upbringing is irrelevant and should NEVER be used to excuse bad behavior. (In understanding a person, yes, but not for the purpose of perpetrating bad behavior and yet more bad behavior.)