This is probably one of the funnier things I've seen. The latest video is on Net Neutrality, and is kinda funny, but the older stuff is hilarious Especially the one on ninja colds - Linky
*sorry if this is a repeat. I did a search and couldn't find anything*
Posted by Dragon (Member # 3670) on :
that's pretty funny...
Ninjas are extremely cool.
Posted by Avadaru (Member # 3026) on :
**random** My ex-boyfriend is a ninja, and he's a psychopath. The (ninja) training he went through for 8 years seriously screwed up his head. No kidding. He really thinks he's a ninja and bases his whole life around it.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
There's a huge difference between thinking he's a ninja and being a ninja, you know. Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
Heh. I just found this a week or so ago. My favorite is ninja christmas.
Posted by Atlantis (Member # 8788) on :
The only thing cooler than a ninja is a samurai. They have bigger swords.
Come to think of it, ninjas do have those razor sharp throwing thingies though. Crazy stuff...
Posted by Avadaru (Member # 3026) on :
quote: There's a huge difference between thinking he's a ninja and being a ninja, you know.
Well, technically speaking, he is a ninja, I just think the whole thing is a little weird. Being a ninja is not altogether practical in this society.
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
But how does he know he's a real ninja? I mean is there some ninja licensing board out there? You apprentice as a ninja for so many years, take a comprehensive exam, send in $35 and BAM! you're a ninja.
Or can you just self-declare as an ninja? If we can just self-declare and be what we want, I think I'd like to be a pirate. Pirates are cool.
Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
Ninjas beat pirates.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Rock beats ninjas.
Posted by Reticulum (Member # 8776) on :
But Jedi beats Rock.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
quote:Well, technically speaking, he is a ninja,
I sincerely doubt that, unless he's killing people on someone else's behalf.
Posted by Tresopax (Member # 1063) on :
Tom, you don't have to kill people to be a ninja. Haven't you seen 3 Ninjas? Or even just the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for that matter...
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Technically and historically speaking, Tom is correct about ninjas.
Posted by Occasional (Member # 5860) on :
Ninjas are what they do and not what they are. Its like saying your a mafia don without actually participating in organized crime. Even then you can at least be a part of a mafia family - something you can't say for the Ninja who are trained assassins for hire. Not that either of those things are good.
Posted by Tresopax (Member # 1063) on :
Methinks you are using an outdated concept of ninja. Just look at ninjas as portrayed in the media and discussed popularly - they are not all trained assassins who actually go out and assassinate people, although they presumably could if they wanted to. Or consider Avadaru's ex-boyfriend. He thinks of himself as a ninja. But does he consider himself someone who would actually kill people for pay? If not, then I don't think the concept of "ninja" that he is using is a concept that entails actually killing people for pay. In the same way that these days you no longer have to actually steal from ships to be a pirate, you no longer have to kill people to be a ninja. Posted by Avadaru (Member # 3026) on :
quote:But does he consider himself someone who would actually kill people for pay?
Yes. I told you, he's a psychopath. To my knowledge, he hasn't actually ever killed anyone, but I don't doubt that he would if the price was right. And as much as I hate to say it, I'm pretty sure he's good enough to get away with it.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
quote:Methinks you are using an outdated concept of ninja.
Nope. Even realultimatepower.net admits that a Ninja's main purpose is to "flip out and kill people."
Posted by El JT de Spang (Member # 7742) on :
quote:Or consider Avadaru's ex-boyfriend. He thinks of himself as a ninja.
Come again? I think I missed an important storyline here.
Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
Cool. I'm going to consider myself an empress.
My concept of "empress" doesn't involve actually ruling anything or being married to an emporer, but I do get to wear a crown.
Posted by Dragon (Member # 3670) on :
crowns are good. though, I still think pirate hats are cooler.
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
After due consideration, I shall consider myself a Space Tyrant. Nevermind that I don't actually have an armada of spaceships to back me up, I will be expecting Earth's tribute shortly.
Posted by steven (Member # 8099) on :
Ninjas, if you study the literature, were not considered especially dangerous or capable fighters. As assassins, they mastered disguise, make-up, moving unseen/unheard, and poisons. Their martial skills were of one of two types: 1. Kill you when you are asleep or otherwise unaware, from behind, etc., or 2. distract you with a non-fatal attack as they run away.
The best fighters, in my experience, are often monks and those who train with monks. Monks often chose to learn to fight in China and Tibet, to feel safe from tigers and robbers in the mountains over long distances during pilgrimages. Most monks, not all, were/are sworn not to kill humans.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
quote:Ninjas, if you study the literature, were not considered especially dangerous or capable fighters.
What literature?
quote:The best fighters, in my experience, are often monks and those who train with monks.
You're wrong. The best fighter is the one who has the most cannons and the saltiest crew.
Posted by oolung (Member # 8995) on :
Belle, there's a new manga about a school for ninjas or something (Naruto). I've heard it's pretty popular, just like Pokemons used to be. Maybe the guy's read too much of it? Posted by erosomniac (Member # 6834) on :
quote:The best fighters, in my experience, are often monks and those who train with monks. Monks often chose to learn to fight in China and Tibet, to feel safe from tigers and robbers in the mountains over long distances during pilgrimages. Most monks, not all, were/are sworn not to kill humans.
You have CLEARLY not seen enough kung fu movies. Hello? Shaolin monk kung fu action? That's some serious human-killing!
Posted by steven (Member # 8099) on :
Start Googling, Scott. I have studied closed-door martial arts for years, and that's the source I trust most on the subject, but I have seen this discussed intelligently on some website, somewhere. In ancient Japan, the samurai were the ones to fear in open battle. The ninja were the ones who stabbed you in the neck while you slept.
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
The Tick (brushing shuriken off his shoulders as he walks away from a rooftop full of badly beaten assassins): Ninjas. They're whacky.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
"Closed-door martial arts."
Wow. Closed door, huh?
I've been studying Tenskwa-tawa since 1988.
By the way, internet sites don't count as "literature."
Recommend me some historical texts, man.
Posted by Marlozhan (Member # 2422) on :
I think this Ninja is actually Strongbad in a ninja suit.
Posted by Tresopax (Member # 1063) on :
quote:My concept of "empress" doesn't involve actually ruling anything or being married to an emporer, but I do get to wear a crown.
Hmmmm... I don't believe that's actually what your concept of "empress" is.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
You don't get to decide what other people's concepts of anything is, Tresopax.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
quote:I have seen this discussed intelligently on some website, somewhere.
*greatly amused*
Posted by steven (Member # 8099) on :
Proof that most ninja were inferior to the samurai in sworsmanship? The straight sword fsvored by the ninja is not nearly as good a weapon for open combat. Their swords were mainly designed for slicing your belly open as they ran away. The slightly curved samurai weapon is much more versatile and is more useful for the advanced combinations that were used in pitched battles.
Really, thid all comes down to facts--the good guys in Asia have access to the best information. They are the most unassailable fighters. The "bad guys" are limited to things other than pitched battles. I am saying "good guys" to mean "those who are sworn not to kill" versus "those who kill as a matter of course". Perhaps it is not that simple, but the ninjas were never the equal of the samurai in open battle. You can master cheap tricks, or you can master straight-up throwing down.
Posted by El JT de Spang (Member # 7742) on :
Who on this thread said that Ninjas were the equal of Samurai in open warfare? Samurai specifically trained for just that. Of course they were superior. That's like saying that Michael Jordan isn't a good athlete because Michael Phelps killed him in a 200 fly.
quote:Ninjas, if you study the literature, were not considered especially dangerous or capable fighters.
This is what you said that Scott asked for clarification on.
But please, tell me some more 'facts'. You've proven yourself to be full of little nuggets of wisdom. No, wait, not wisdom. Crap.
Posted by vonk (Member # 9027) on :
I'm curious. Is a ninja still a ninja if he's not wearing his black PJs? I mean, if a ninja puts on a lime green leasure suit and goes to a mojito bar to hit on some fiesty young filipino boys, is he still a ninja?
Posted by erosomniac (Member # 6834) on :
quote:I'm curious. Is a ninja still a ninja if he's not wearing his black PJs? I mean, if a ninja puts on a lime green leasure suit and goes to a mojito bar to hit on some fiesty young filipino boys, is he still a ninja?
Definitely - he's just in disguise. Unlike a police officer, who has a much more limited ability to act as an officer of the law out of uniform and off duty, a ninja suffers no obstruction to his rights and privileges as a night assassin just because he is not wearing the official uniform.
And before anyone disputes this, it's an unarguable fact. My sources are anecdotal evidence, hearsay, common sense and, of course, Real Ultimate Power.
Posted by Tresopax (Member # 1063) on :
quote:You don't get to decide what other people's concepts of anything is, Tresopax.
Nope, but neither do they.
Concepts are what they are regardless of what you'd like them to be. You can't just decide to change them. For instance, I might want to be a pirate, but I can't just decide to conceive of pirates differently in order to make myself a pirate. I could just decide "starting today, I'm going to consider all people like me to be pirates" but that would not make it so. Rather, I'd have to change myself in order to fit what a pirate is (to me.)
So, you could claim you fit your conception of what an "empress" is, but if you don't, you don't. Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
But if I did, it still wouldn't make me an empress. It would make me delusional.
Posted by vonk (Member # 9027) on :
Empresses can be delusional. Just look at that chick in Never Ending Story. Craaaaazyyy.
Posted by Tresopax (Member # 1063) on :
quote:But if I did, it still wouldn't make me an empress. It would make me delusional.
Delusional or not, if you fit the definition of whatever it is you are calling an empress, then you would be whatever it is you are calling an empress.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Oh, I see, Steven. You thought I was challenging your authority on the subject because I asked, 'What literature,' and then asked for historical documents.
But see...I'm just a curious kind of guy. If you'd kindly point out where you get the literature that "Ninjas...were not considered especially dangerous or capable fighters," I'd like to read it.
When you said 'literature,' did you mean literature as commonly accepted by most of the population? Or did you mean something different, some internal definition of 'literature' that is obscurred from the rest of the English speaking world but STILL somehow correct as a definition? (And if Tresopax says you can do that, BY ALL MEANS!!)
Please clarify. Or hook me up with amazon links to your amazing, enlightening ninja-ologies.
Posted by erosomniac (Member # 6834) on :
Scott, I'm going to pick up the gauntlet here and offer you some authoritative texts on the methodology and history of the ninja.
Here is one of the most authoritative accounts on the subject.
Here is another great contemporary publication on the strategies of living a ninja life.
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
What interesting and informative links, eros. Thank you for providing those.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
quote:My concept of "empress" doesn't involve actually ruling anything or being married to an emporer,
Poor Bob.
Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
I'm pretty sure she genuinely is just in it for the crown.
--Enigmatic
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
I'll be a Rogue Demon Hunter.
That is, if I can find some Rogue Demons.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
quote:Originally posted by Chris Bridges: The Tick (brushing shuriken off his shoulders as he walks away from a rooftop full of badly beaten assassins): Ninjas. They're whacky.
I like it when he turns the ninjas standing in a row into Newton's balls.
The sight of ninja heads bonking each other back and forth is funny to me. And, somehow, this motion gag looked better in the B&W comic.
Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :
Heh. To be fair, cartoon technology wasn't super advanced when the The Tick cartoon came out.
quote:Ninjas aren't dangerous. They're more afraid of you than you are of them.
Ninja Hedge Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
We had a group that shared dojo space with us who studied "ninjitsu". As far as I could tell, it looked like pretty standard Japanese jujitsu.
Posted by MrSquicky (Member # 1802) on :
quote: I have studied closed-door martial arts for years
Does that mean you're like really good at closing doors on people in order to injure them?
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
quote:And, somehow, this motion gag looked better in the B&W comic.
That was a compliment to the b&w comic, not an insult to the cartoon. Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :
I figured, just pointing out that if they could get The Tick back on the air NOW, it would kick even more ass.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
quote:Originally posted by MrSquicky:
quote: I have studied closed-door martial arts for years
Does that mean you're like really good at closing doors on people in order to injure them?
Squicky, the closed-door martial arts can kill in a single blow, but they are hopelessly limited in where they can be used.
Why do you think Japanese architecure moved from swinging doors to sliding panels?
Posted by MrSquicky (Member # 1802) on :
I was reading something recently about the hostile reception the Japanese gave to Christian missionaries in the 16th and 17th centuries and now I'm wondering if this art was developed specifically to deal with door-to-door proselytizers. Does anyone know more about the history of this so-called "door-fu"?
Also, what kind of extensibility does it have? Does it work with just building doors or can less orthodox doors, such as a car door, be used? How about windows? Would a box or trunk with a heavy lid be a deadly weapon in the hands of one trained in these arts?
One last thing, for my own curiousity, does anyone know what the door-fu community feels about the invention and spread of the automatic electronic door?
[ May 15, 2006, 10:14 PM: Message edited by: MrSquicky ]
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
I expect that it was, Squick--I know that it is widely held that Jehovah's Witness-fu was developed to counter closed-door martial arts.
Personally, I think that the most deadly ninjas are of the tiny plaid variety.
Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :
Did steven really pull out the closed-door card again? I mean, really? Did I just see that? That's the most friggin' hilarious thing I've read all day.
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
The Tick is on the air here, rather late at night but on the air. Either way, I have a bootleg DVD of all The Tick episodes. I don't feel bad about buying it, FoxKids, who I believe owns the show, won't release it on DVD.
Anyway, so far as Ninjas go, they weren't specifically assasins, or anything else really. They were special forces, and mercs. The more recent theories peg them as spies more than assasins, but they did both on a regular basis.
Also, they probably rarely, if ever, wore black. And they certainly wouldn't be trained as well as samurai, it's why they became Ninjas, because they couldn't get the same kind of training that samurai got.
Posted by Juxtapose (Member # 8837) on :
quote:posted by Teshi: I'll be a Rogue Demon Hunter.
That is, if I can find some Rogue Demons.
Alternatively, you could hunt plain old demons in a lone wolf, live-by-your-own-rules kind of way. At least, you could until the Demon Hunter guild tracks you down and slaps you with a petty fine.
Posted by vonk (Member # 9027) on :
Yeah, but the Demon Hunter guild never enforces their penalties. I still owe 4.50 for "accidentally" vanquishing a white lighter back in aught five.
Posted by Dragon (Member # 3670) on :
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Especially the one on ninja colds - Linky![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)