Hatrack River Forum: I'm bbaaacckkk

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Posted by Dr Strangelove (Member # 8331) on :

Hey Everybody!
As some of you may remember, a month ago I posted my Landmark and my farewell. I was leaving for 6 months to hike the Appalachian Trail, and also to hopefully extricate myself from "the flow". My goal, and really my purpose for hiking the Trail, was to change myself into someone I wanted to be. Well, things didn't quite turn out how I'd imagined.

To make a quite long story short, I got dangerously homesick. I won't regale you with all the details, but after 190 miles of hiking, in the little town of Stratton, Maine, I lay at the trailhead, digesting some donuts and ginger ale before I started hiking again, and I realized that I was out hiking the Trail for the wrong reasons. It's hard to explain, but, as I said, I was essentially out there to reconcile the differences between who I was and who I wanted to be. To do this, I wanted to change who I was. That day in Stratton, I realized that 3 weeks out on the Trail had not changed who I was, but had changed who I wanted to be. Again, I won't regale you with all the messy details. I haven't quite figured out all of them yet myself, at least not in a way that can be expressed. The main thing that I realized was that I'm young and have a great family. I simply was not/am not ready to be completely independent from them. Now, back to what I said, I realized laying there that if that's all I had motivating my hike, that desire for reconciliation, then my desire to thru-hike was based on a really weak premise. I went back into town, and talked it over with my dad, and he convinced me to "do one more, whatever that may be" and see how I felt after that. And I did. I went another 35 miles or so and took that time to see if I did want to thru-hike. And I decided, after much thought, that it was a commitment for which I was not ready.

So I came home. And I am 100% positive I made the right decision. My trip was a success. If I hadn't gone, I would've been miserable, and if I had stayed out there I do not think I would have ended up happy with myself, whereas right now, I am very pleased with myself, my life, everything. It's really a great feeling.

I still plan on thru-hiking. Maybe next year, maybe the year after, maybe in 10 years. But when I do it, my main purpose and the foundation of my decision will be to hike the Appalachian Trail, not to change myself or escape my life or something flimsy like that.

And as for "the flow", I still am unchanged in my refusal to allow any sort of "flow" dictate my actions or my life. But at the same time, getting out of the river doesn't mean I have to completely disown all those other flow-ers. All in all, perhaps it can be said I have reached a happy medium.

And yes, I know this post reads conspicuously like a blog entry, and for that I apologize. I doubt many, if any of you care. But, I'm just happy to be back, and I thought to share my happiness and reasons for happiness with ya'll.

So that's that. Weeeeeeeeee!!!! [Wave]

Posted by breyerchic04 (Member # 6423) on :

Welcome home. What's next?

Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :

3 weeks, 190 miles, and some major self-understanding are no small accomplishments! I'm glad you went, and glad you're back--enjoy your summer. And whatever comes after that.

[ June 25, 2006, 05:46 PM: Message edited by: Uprooted ]

Posted by Jeesh (Member # 9163) on :

Welcome back!

Posted by Squish (Member # 9191) on :

Rock on, Strangelove. Welcome home!

Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :

Thanks for letting us hear that. I'm glad you went, and I'm glad you're back. [Smile]

Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :

Good to see you again, Doc! Sounds like that was a very useful 190 miles for you.

Posted by Dr Strangelove (Member # 8331) on :

It was incredibly useful. And for the record, it was 220 or so miles [Wink]

. I'm not sure what my plans are now. I just got home yesterday, so I'm having fun relaxing for the time being. I'm sure Hatrack will be kept abreast of my plans though, as ya'll are one of my primary resources in researching different routes to take. [Smile]

Posted by airmanfour (Member # 6111) on :

Excellent.

Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :

quote:
I won't regale you with all the details, but after 190 miles of hiking...

quote:
And for the record, it was 220 or so miles...

It just gets longer with every telling, doesn't it? [Wink]

Good job on the fresh insight. What a gift!

(If it were I, I'd be back here muttering about how I'm unable to shake my Hatrack addiction.)

Posted by JennaDean (Member # 8816) on :

Welcome back, Strangelove!

I thought of you as my little family and I hiked 7/10ths of a mile of the Appalachian Trail last week. [Big Grin]

(Well, I guess it was 1.4 miles round-trip.) We were in Virginia, though, I don't guess we had much chance of running across you.

BTW, if you've changed who you want to be, I think that definitely changes who you are.

Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :

Story problem: If a hiker mentions "after 190 miles of hiking" in his tale, and then sneakily slips in "I went another 35 miles or so" later in the same paragraph, does that answer count as part of our final grade?

Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :

Jenna, where did you go hiking? Off Skyline Drive someplace?

Posted by JennaDean (Member # 8816) on :

Yes, exactly. We stayed for a couple days at Skyland - one of the Shenandoah National Park Lodges on Skyline Drive (Beautiful!). We hiked a trail that looked pretty short and easy, since we had four kids with us (8, 6, 4 & 2). It was Little Stony Man Trail and I swear the top of it had views to the end of the world. I about had a heart attack on the edge of that cliff. But it was amazing.

Um, thanks for asking. [Big Grin]

Posted by Dr Strangelove (Member # 8331) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Tante Shvester:

quote:
I won't regale you with all the details, but after 190 miles of hiking...

quote:
And for the record, it was 220 or so miles...
It just gets longer with every telling, doesn't it?

. 187.7 miles to Stratton, IIRC, and then 32 or 33 to Rangeley, where I pulled out. So somewhere in the vicinity of 220 miles.

Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :

I asked because I love that place--I've done a lot of the hikes along there. Little Stony Man is really pretty!

Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :

Tante is just pulling your chain. [Smile]

Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :

[Evil]

Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :

Welcome back, Dr. Sounds like you had a very good walkabout and you are all the better for it. [Smile]

Best of luck with getting on with your life.