Not in real life, although I'd be up for it. No, we need more spaceships on TV. For as long as I can remember there have been shows about hardy humans on elegant crafts slipping through the icy vastness of space, encountering alien races and dealing with scientific dilemmas while revealing something about the human condition, especially the human condition of crewmen in red shirts.
But not this stardate. There are no Star Trek series on the air right now. No funky time travel shows. No alternate dimension realities. No black holes. "Stargate Atlantis" remains, but SG1 has just been shut down. Instead we have a plentitude of normal-situations-with-one-sf-element shows such as "The 4400" and "Eureka," with just "Battlestar Galactica" and "Dr. Who" to sustain we proud space opera freaks. Where are the gadgets? Where are our alien invasions? Where are our defiant captains, charging through the galaxies chin-first to bring American values to the rubbery bug-eyed monsters? Where are our ray guns?
More... Posted by littlemissattitude (Member # 4514) on :
quote:"The Spacy Life"
Wacky dilettantes Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, together in a small pink spaceship bouncing between the stars. They'll, I don't know, move rock in human slave mines or try to plot orbital vectors or something. I don't really care, I just want them off the Earth. Pack in Britney and K-Fed, too.
Right on, Chris. Your keyboard to God's ear. Posted by ChevMalFet (Member # 9676) on :
Haven't you heard? TV is on the wane. Networks are strapped for cash, and DVRs are killing confidence in advertising delivery. It's much cheaper to make a TV show about Superman's personal life before he could fly than to pay special effects folks to make him zoom around Metropolis.
Ironically I hardly watch any TV but if it involved space ships, a new sacrificial ensign every episode, and inexplicably amorously compatible aliens, I'd be all over it.
[Edit: How great would an Asimovian Robot series be? Eto Demerzel and his human friend solve mysteries in the colonies etc.] Posted by ricree101 (Member # 7749) on :
Wow.... sorry to get distracted from your column, but I hadn't yet heard that SG-1 was cancelled. I have to say, I'm a bit shocked.
Posted by starLisa (Member # 8384) on :
I want my Starlost!
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
ricree101 - from what I understand the producers are looking into taking it to another network, or going to movies. I wish 'em luck.
Posted by DarkKnight (Member # 7536) on :
BRING BACK HIATUS!!!! I loved that show Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
You know, now I'm seriously thinking about starting a campaign to bring back a show that never actually existed. Talk about meta...
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
Special effects are cheaper than ever. Many special effects houses are buying off the shelf computers to do simple special effects work, and saving the high powered stuff for the high powered machines. It's saving them time and money (I know at least ILM is doing this).
I think we'll get a new Star Trek show in a couple years, but they are giving it a lot of time to cool off before they delve into it again. Too many years of bad viewer reactions are giving them pause over what used to be a sure thing franchise.
Babylon Five, Farscape, DS9, Voyager, Firefly, SG1... all the fan favorites and juggernaut Sci-Fi SPACE shows are on the out. It could just be that that generation of sci-fi is over, and the "everyman" sci-fi is in, or sci-fi thriller based on earth.
On the other hand, I think the marked absence of spaceship fun should open the way for SOMEONE to try and crack into that market. There's millions of geeks out there just WAITING for someone to throw a ship into space and tack some phasers on it.
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
quote:Big Brother: ISS"
You won't believe what happens when we cram six very different people into the International Space Station! Watch as the hot chick, the religious freak, the jock, the gay guy, the married woman, and the token minority all learn to coexist in incredibly cramped quarters surrounded by the most hostile environment known to man. They'll have to complete various exciting tasks designed to just barely sustain their lives and each week the audience can choose to vote one of them out of the airlock. Watch the first episode as the hot chick shows everyone what microgravity does to her implants! Thursday nights at 9, right after Survivor: Ganymede.
Posted by starLisa (Member # 8384) on :
Chris, that'd be amazing. I bet you could actually get a huge groundswell going on it, too. You'd have people going to Fox and demanding that they at least release the episodes that haven't been aired on DVD, and folks who didn't get a change to see the ones that did air would be going to their local video stores asking if they were going to get the Haitus complete series DVD set in.
Posted by Miro (Member # 1178) on :
quote:Originally posted by ricree101: Wow.... sorry to get distracted from your column, but I hadn't yet heard that SG-1 was cancelled. I have to say, I'm a bit shocked.
quote:Originally posted by starLisa: Chris, that'd be amazing. I bet you could actually get a huge groundswell going on it, too. You'd have people going to Fox and demanding that they at least release the episodes that haven't been aired on DVD, and folks who didn't get a change to see the ones that did air would be going to their local video stores asking if they were going to get the Haitus complete series DVD set in.
You know, if I didn't already have several major conflicting projects going on... oh, what the hell. This looks like too much fun to let drop.
Posted by Stephan (Member # 7549) on :
You forgot to mention 2 or more networks coming up with the same idea in the same year to confuse fans enough to not watch any of them. (Threshold, Surface, Invasion)
Posted by Goody Scrivener (Member # 6742) on :
Oh great, now I'm humming Peter Paul and Mary while jonesing for Ensign Becker eps...
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
Go for it Chris, it'd watch your show.
Posted by GeronL (Member # 9674) on :
With the success of Burt Rutan getting a privately built ship into space and the next big challenge of a private obital reusable vessel there is definitely some material for a future documentary series. Or there should be.
Posted by John Van Pelt (Member # 5767) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lyrhawn: Special effects are cheaper than ever. Many special effects houses are buying off the shelf computers to do simple special effects work, and saving the high powered stuff for the high powered machines. It's saving them time and money (I know at least ILM is doing this).
I agree, and disagree. The cost of entry to get the special effects is cheaper (the computer time). Judging from the vast array of bad special effects employed, the artists are not. A large part of being a good effects artist is knowing the limits of the technology and working around them.
Posted by GeronL (Member # 9674) on :
You forgot to mention 2 or more networks coming up with the same idea in the same year to confuse fans enough to not watch any of them. (Threshold, Surface, Invasion)
That boxing thing. too many to list really.
Posted by DarkKnight (Member # 7536) on :
Chris, don't forget the myspace page to help promote everone's favorite "tv show that never was" Hiatus!!!
Posted by starLisa (Member # 8384) on :
GoogleAd at the bottom of the page: The Shat Hits the Fan Sunday August 20 Comedy Central Roast of William Shatner
M'thinks that certain someones have been exposed to a bit too much StarTrek if they expect viewers to go back in time to watch a tv show.
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Managed to completely miss this the first time. That's fantastic!
Posted by John Van Pelt (Member # 5767) on :
Feel free to link to it, but if you want something to publish in a more formal 'campaign' (or spoof campaign) let me know -- I need to make sure the images I ganked are copyright free. I did it rather fast
Thanks!
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Not "formal," really, but I am thinking of starting up a revival movement. I've always wanted one.
quote:I admit I had a thing for the hot brunette, whose name escapes me
That's awesome.
Posted by Shmuel (Member # 7586) on :
Hee. Thanks!
Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
I just sent the blog link to a rather TV-geeky friend at work. We'll see if he takes the bait.
--Enigmatic
Posted by Miro (Member # 1178) on :
You guys have too much time on your hands.
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
JOIN THE HIARCHY!
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
(reading Belle's post at Save Hiatus) HEE!
Belle, I love you. I just want you to know that.
Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
Yes, Belle is truly brilliant. I'm in awe of the possibility for mayhem on other movie forums if that post starts showing up in google searches.
--Enigmatic
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
It's mutual, dear. Posted by Gwen (Member # 9551) on :
quote:Hiatus needs the fan support more than any show ever has before, because nobody has ever got a chance to see the show!
Think of all the amazing Hiatus episodes that never aired, were never filmed, or were never written!
To paraphrase: Hiatus never did anything, that's the beauty of it...
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
I am literally laughing so hard that tears are running down my face.
Now, the question is where to post links . . . *schemes*
Posted by Eaquae Legit (Member # 3063) on :
I've started writing about it in my lj. I'm pondering other fora to spread it to.
Now what would REALLY amuse me, and get this started, would be if OSC would include it in his "Uncle Orson Reviews Everything" column.
Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :
I mentioned it on my Myspace blog, and I put a nondescript link to the Save Hiatus page in my forum sig elsewhere. I think letting the link do the talking is more realistic.
I wonder if there's a way to make sure this page doesn't come up at the top of google searches?
Posted by Nighthawk (Member # 4176) on :
Well, it's been submitted on Fark... This should be fun.
Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
We've gotta be doing something right, cause the blog is loading uber slowly right now.
Posted by Palliard (Member # 8109) on :
I think this is a symptom of a fairly broad shift in the way media is distributed. Used to be the media companies' revenue streams depended on controlling the means of distribution (i.e., film prints, video tapes, cassettes, etc.). Now that the world is going digital, the content distribution business is getting shook down.
I think the days of $200M movies and $3M/episode TV are close to an end. A pity that, some of those things were pretty good.
On the other hand, the same technology is lowering production costs, meaning there's a TON of cheap-but-pretty-good amateur stuff becoming available. For example: you may never see another Star Trek series from Paramount, but "Hidden Frontier" and "New Voyages" represent the sort of semi-professional media production that the future would seem to hold.
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
*laughing laughing laughing laughing*
Too much fun for a Saturday morning.
*snorts coffee*
Posted by Nighthawk (Member # 4176) on :
quote:Originally posted by Alcon: We've gotta be doing something right, cause the blog is loading uber slowly right now.
quote:Well, it's been submitted on Fark... This should be fun.
Too bad it's not scifi.
Posted by Joldo (Member # 6991) on :
Can I write the first ever slashy Hiatus fanfiction?
Permission to make up enough details to create a small storyline?
Posted by Joldo (Member # 6991) on :
Also: we need a Hiatus wikipedia article.
Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
quote: quote:Originally posted by Alcon: Yep, in this case its the Fark effect. But that's what I was thinking of.
Searching Wiki for "Fark effect" came up blank. Silly search engine...
Same as the /. effect only caused by Fark, duh. Posted by AvidReader (Member # 6007) on :
Ok, I posted as the antagonist. Tell me why I'm wrong so other folks will know how much you love Hiatus. Posted by Shmuel (Member # 7586) on :
AvidReader, that was beautiful. Posted by Eaquae Legit (Member # 3063) on :
I think I just named a character. Er. I hope that's okay.
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
I'm looking forward to tons of fan fiction and art, lots of arguing over episodes, and I see no reason why any of it should be consistent at all.
Call it collaborative reminiscing.
Posted by Palliard (Member # 8109) on :
quote: I see no reason why any of it should be consistent at all.
A Bridges after my own heart.
I would only add that I think more is being gained than is being lost in this shift. If you accept that all media productions follow Sturgeon's Law... more is better.
Posted by Hamson (Member # 7808) on :
Hehe. Nice column and great idea. Wonderful fan art by the way, John Van Pelt.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
AvidReader, you've got your first argument. Posted by Joldo (Member # 6991) on :
I'm working on my fanfiction right now: Bella, the ship's doctor, mourning the death of Samar after his battle with Cygnus Alpha (I always thought they had a thing for each other). Spoilers for episode six.
Posted by AvidReader (Member # 6007) on :
Firefly fans will want to refute me. Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*giggle* There's a non-Hatracker (one I recognize) commenting, and he must have followed one of my links. *gleeful*
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
*ahem*
I just did something but I'm not going to say what unless anything comes of it.
Posted by B34N (Member # 9597) on :
They all blew up cause they got stuck in a bad section of EVE online and there's no money to build more. Wait soon there will be enough money in the pot to build more and then people will get sick of them again??
Posted by Boris (Member # 6935) on :
quote:Originally posted by B34N: They all blew up cause they got stuck in a bad section of EVE online and there's no money to build more. Wait soon there will be enough money in the pot to build more and then people will get sick of them again??
Do what? For how many Oreos?
Posted by Papa Moose (Member # 1992) on :
quote:Originally posted by ketchupqueen: *ahem*
I just did something but I'm not going to say what unless anything comes of it.
Actually she didn't do anything. That's the beauty of it.
Posted by Palliard (Member # 8109) on :
You're being paid in Oreos? All they offered me was Hydroxes. Posted by John Van Pelt (Member # 5767) on :
quote: Wonderful fan art by the way, John Van Pelt
Thanks. Unfortunately, I do have (just enough of) a sense of realism left (after the therapy), and realize the studios (hardly ever) change their minds. But it sure is cool to discover all you fellow Hiatians and reminisce like this.
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
oh my -- what fun!
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Ahhh, Papa Moose, now we know. Hiatus contains the infamous line never found in any other film.
quote: "But what does it do?"
"It doesn't do anything, that's the beauty of it!"
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Brilliant, BannaOj. It must have been in the episode "Deja VuVu."
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
But I did just link the beloved campaign from another site, so I'm good for something.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Ahh glad Belle got it on the blog! But independent wittnesses corroborating will add to the incredulous credibility of it all AJ
Posted by starLisa (Member # 8384) on :
quote:Originally posted by John Van Pelt:
quote: Wonderful fan art by the way, John Van Pelt
Thanks. Unfortunately, I do have (just enough of) a sense of realism left (after the therapy), and realize the studios (hardly ever) change their minds. But it sure is cool to discover all you fellow Hiatians and reminisce like this.
Are you going to add that image to the Wikipedia article?
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
The Wikipedia article is already up for deletion.
Don't worry, after we become a bonafide phenomenon we'll put it back...
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
I love the way they think it's a hoax, but they're not quite sure.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
holy bleep! "Hiatus" exists? Or did someone here put it up? Either way Kevin Smith has the right sort of sense of humor for this.
I'm not entirely sure what they thought was the hoax though. Did they think that there was a real show Hiatus that I was claiming wasn't real or did I just not describe it as non-existent enough times?
Nothing I said in the original article was false.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
I'm far too lazy to register right now, or I'd go edit it.
Posted by Shmuel (Member # 7586) on :
quote:Originally posted by MrSquicky: I'm not entirely sure what they thought was the hoax though. Did they think that there was a real show Hiatus that I was claiming wasn't real or did I just not describe it as non-existent enough times?
Nothing I said in the original article was false.
Depends on how you define "a small but dedicated fan base." I think that has yet to be exhibited; one week is nowhere near sufficient to establish dedication.
Don't get me wrong; I'm enjoying the Hiatus thing hugely, and may have some filk to contribute in the near future. Still, there's no way it fits Wikipedia's mandate at this point. Maybe someday, once it catches on.
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