We've all seen bad movies, and wasting two hours of your life is never pleasant. But when you've paid $8 for it, the insult seems to be more painful.
I remember when The Flintstones came out in theatres. I don't know what came over me, but I saw it in a first-run theatre. I was so angry when I came out of that movie that I decided to sneak into another one to get some value for my cash. So I found another film that was just starting, and would you believe it, the movie was Being Human. There were about 10 people in the theater. I took a seat in the second row and watched the entire movie. When the credits started to roll I stood up, looked behind me, and discovered that I was all alone in the theater. I was the only person that hadn't walked out on the turkey.
A few days ago, I went to the theater to see Crank. I usually have pretty low standards for brainless action films. I even liked The Transporter, despite it being saddled with one of the worst scripts ever written. So I didn't think too much could go wrong with Crank. Boy, was I ever mistaken.
The dialogue was even worse than The Transporter. The action was completely arbitrary, nonsensical and stupid. The director and the editor tried some "stylish" tricks that gave me a headache and stomach cramps. And some of the most mind-bendingly horrible continuity errors were written, with pride, right into the script.
There was a scene at the beginning where Mr. Crank (or whatever the hell his name was) faced down 15 gangsters with guns, which made him calm down until he decided he wanted to fight them. Then for some reason they were all unarmed. And if that wasn't bad enough, they didn't even use it as an excuse for a brainless fight scene. They just showed him rush them, then cut to a shot of the outside of the building, some ass-kicking sound effects, and he came out and got in his car and drove away.
Then, about 2/3 of the way into the movie, he's in a big gunfight with a bunch of bad guys. As he's running to an elevator, he gets shot right through the leg, and practically has to crawl to the elevator to get away. I was wondering how they were going to work the rest of the movie with him crippled. Then in the next shot the elevator stops and he comes running out, starts fighting, and his leg wound is never mentioned again.
And that's not even mentioning the fact that he's given a poison that's supposed to kill him within an hour, and some loud heavy metal music lets him survive a couple of days.
I can't even describe how pissed off I was leaving the theater, knowing that I'd supported the morons that made that crappy movie. Any similar stories might help me feel better.
Oh, and by the way, don't ever see Crank. That's all.
Posted by PUNJABEE (Member # 7359) on :
Jackson's King Kong.
Posted by signal (Member # 6828) on :
The theater I saw "Be Cool" in had 178 ceiling tiles.
Invincible or whatever that movie was called that had Bruce Willis and Samual L Jackson was pretty bad too. I think I actually walked out of that one.
Posted by MyrddinFyre (Member # 2576) on :
Vertical Limit, because a friend wanted to go see it for her birthday. Oww, my soul.
Posted by MyrddinFyre (Member # 2576) on :
I liked Unbreakable.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
quote:Originally posted by signal: The theater I saw "Be Cool" in had 178 ceiling tiles.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
Too bad you walked out of Unbreakable; it got much better by the end. You could argue that this doesn't excuse the slow beginning, of course.
Posted by Luet13 (Member # 9274) on :
Carrie 2, The Babysitter's Club, Collateral. The newer incarnation of Planet of the Apes.
My ex showed me Unbreakable at home. If I could have walked out, I would have. He kept saying it was going to get better. It never did.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
I liked Unbreakable. In fact, it's the only one of M. Night Shyamalan's movies that I've actually enjoyed.
I agree with Icarus on Event Horizon; that was dreadful.
However, topping even that, I think, has to be The One. First Knight is up there, too.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
If you didn't like Unbreakable, you aren't a fan of comic books. Posted by Nighthawk (Member # 4176) on :
Unbreakable seemed weak because it was being measured against his prior film, The Sixth Sense. I'm going to have to watch it again and try to remain impartial.
And, Luet, you consider Collateral one of the worst? Citizen Kane it's not, but still...
The only movie I remember seeing in a theater and cringing throughout was Spy Hard. The IMDB page says it all, especially the user comment "Oh, why didn't I see a Pauly Shore film instead?"
Posted by signal (Member # 6828) on :
See, I do enjoy comic books, and I went in expecting to like it, but it was just way too slow for me. Though I suppose it isn't fair for me to call it bad. It probably more my problem of not being able to sit still long enough. I just don't have that kind of patience.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
quote:Unbreakable seemed weak because it was being measured against his prior film, The Sixth Sense. I'm going to have to watch it again and try to remain impartial.
See, I thought Unbreakable was considerably better than The Sixth Sense. Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
I agree; I thought The Sixth Sense was fairly dull.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
I disagree.
I don't think he's ever matched that movie again.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
To each his own. I actually fell asleep during Sixth Sense.
Posted by Boris (Member # 6935) on :
Ummm...Battlefield Earth anyone? Or is everyone else trying to ignore the fact that that movie ever existed (Granted, I didn't see it in the theater...so I guess it doesn't count here does it )
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
What Women Want. I hate going to movies with groups of people. They always make me see the sort of movies I'd never see on my own.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
I'm going to have to go with Dr. T and the Women. Talk about your sexist, offensive, mind numbingly dull pieces of crap.
Count me among those who liked Unbreakable.
Posted by Luet13 (Member # 9274) on :
Nighthawk: Yes, I do consider Collateral one of the worst. I don't recall at this point exactly why I disliked it so much. Only that I had a hard time holding myself back from getting ghetto and jeering, out loud at the theatre, at the characters because I disliked them so much. I had no real problem with Jamie Foxx, but everything else was too lame for me.
And Tom, I like comic books, and almost all other comic book related movies I've seen. Unbreakable just sucked IMHO.
Posted by Palliard (Member # 8109) on :
Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone ... in glorious polarized-light 3D! THERE's two hours of my life that could have been better-squandered getting drunk and re-reading old Mad magazines. It might have been worth it if they'd let you keep the glasses...
Posted by PUNJABEE (Member # 7359) on :
quote:Originally posted by Palliard: Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone ... in glorious polarized-light 3D! THERE's two hours of my life that could have been better-squandered getting drunk and re-reading old Mad magazines. It might have been worth it if they'd let you keep the glasses...
Oh come on. Molly Ringwald makes it an instant hit.
Yes I'm serious.
Molly Ringwald Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
quote:Originally posted by Noemon: I'm going to have to go with Dr. T and the Women. Talk about your sexist, offensive, mind numbingly dull pieces of crap.
Count me among those who liked Unbreakable.
Arg. I hate that movie. That guy was so condescending towards women and all the men hunted ducks and the women went shopping and it was just so STUPID!
Also I liked Unbreakable.
Posted by Nighthawk (Member # 4176) on :
quote:Originally posted by Boris: Ummm...Battlefield Earth anyone? Or is everyone else trying to ignore the fact that that movie ever existed (Granted, I didn't see it in the theater...so I guess it doesn't count here does it )
Thank you for digging up a repressed memory.
There's a difference between going to see a movie normally and going to see a movie while being fully aware that it's going to suck. I went to see Battlefield Earth because of the bad press it got, and with that mindset the movie doesn't feel as painful at it would to somebody going to see it normally.
Case in point: if you went to the theater to see Plan Nine from Outer Space, without knowing anything about it or its history, how would you react to it? I had trouble watching that movie on video before I'd seen Ed Wood. After seeing Ed Wood, Plan Nine... was much more tolerable.
Posted by Soara (Member # 6729) on :
Fast Runner. One of those movies they only show in artsy theatres. A three-hour-long love triangle story taking place in the Canadian Arctic, spoken entirely in Inuit with subtitles at least a page long per frame, consisting mainly of long screaming arguments seperated by frantic whale-harpooning and hide-scraping sprees, and kinky igloo sex. There was also a part where a guy ran a couple miles through the snow-covered tundra completley naked, hence the title.
My sister and I were twelve at the time. My dad and us left half way through, and my mom stayed till the end, and came out claiming it had been a really good movie and we just didn't know how to appreciate other cultures. Posted by docmagik (Member # 1131) on :
Mars Attacks was painful. My friends and I spent the last half of this movie trying to top each other for the best way to commit suicide.
Sphere. I kept falling asleep in this thing and kept waking up and kept thinking are we still here? That movie was long. If today is the last day you're going to see someone you care about, watch Sphere with them. It will be like you gained another lifetime together.
Although I loved it, I'm not suprised people didn't like Unbreakable. I say this because I loved it so much, in a way that was so personal, that I can believe it has a very specific audience.
Also loved The Village, which I know lots of people didn't like, but that was partly due to madly falling for the blind girl pretty early on.
Lady In The Water, on the other hand . . .
I don't know. Maybe if it had been marketed as what it was--a semi-serious but at times tounge-in-cheek and at times downright silly family fantasy film--instead of what they thought would sell--a serious thriller--I might have dug it.
Also Bad: Any Batman but the Jack Nicholson one and the Christian Bale one.
Oh, and like any early 80's comic book movie that wasn't Superman. Like Captain America or Doc Savage. Holy crapoli.
Ditto on Spy Hard. And Wrongfully Accused. And Dracula: Dead and Loving It. It took me way too long to catch on that having Leslie Neilson in a movie did not mean it would be funny.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
I saw Spacehunter in the theater. It was bad, but not as horribly bad as some of the others mentioned here.
How old are you, if getting drunk was an option for you? I was like in sixth gade when it came out.
Posted by TL (Member # 8124) on :
I disagree with many of you about your tastes in movies.
For me, the worst movie, and the only movie I've ever walked out on, was Robocop 3.
I just couldn't handle the overwhelming terribleness of it. The only reason I had wanted to see it in the first place was Frank Miller.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote:Originally posted by Synesthesia: What Women Want.
I like that one! But I never took it seriously -- it's a comedy with lots of cute tips-of-the-hat to older movies, not social commentary.
Posted by Palliard (Member # 8109) on :
quote: How old are you, if getting drunk was an option for you?
Might not be the best thing to judge by. My grandfather introduced me to "boilermakers" when I was eight. And not for the reasons you may suspect.
So, let me nominate a more contemporary movie: Revenge of the Sith actually devoured part of my soul, and filled me with an urge to find George Lucas and beat him with blunt objects until he quit making noises.
Posted by Earendil18 (Member # 3180) on :
It's a toss up between Star Wars: Episode Two and Spy Kids.
Posted by The Pixiest (Member # 1863) on :
Highlander II.
I would say Alien 3 as it was more disappointing than highlander II but it had farther to fall. Alien 3 was simply no where near the wonderfulness that was Aliens. Highlander II was just downright stupid.
Honourable Mention goes to The Grudge.
Mars Attacks was wonderfully silly. If you were looking for something serious.. or funny in a non ACKACKACK-ACKACK-ACK way, I can see how you wouldn't like it, though.
I hated Unwatchable so much I mentioned it in my comic. But I didn't see it in the theatre.
Pix
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
Oh, can't forget The Punisher. And, for more recent awful fare, there's Miami Vice.
Posted by Evie3217 (Member # 5426) on :
I concur with Battleship Earth. I thought it was so horribly bad that it was painful to watch. At some points, bad movies just become funny, but this one was just difficult to sit through.
I also hated Mars Attacks, but I think that's because I wasn't really expecting it to be so incredibly cheesy. Although I probably still wouldn't like it today.
One movie that no one's mentioned yet is Troy. I thought it was long and boring, and hugely innaccurate. I just remember sitting in the theater with my friends whispering "Release the flaming balls of yarn!" That line still cracks me up.
Posted by Nighthawk (Member # 4176) on :
Ah, yes, Highlander sequels... I love how each of the three sequels completely ignores anything that happened prior.
Highlander: "There can be only one!" Highlander II: "No... wait... NOW I'm the only one!" Highlander III: "Who? In what cave? Darn... hold on... there! NOW I'm the only one!" Highlander IV: "Aw, crap... now what? Where'd this guy come from? Oh, forget it, just kill me already..."
I saw #2 and #3 in the theaters. They are a complete blur.
Hey, and I enjoyed Mars Attacks because I knew what to expect. It's those movies when you go expecting one thing and get something radically different that are the pinnacles of suck.
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
Batman and Robin
Posted by Papa Moose (Member # 1992) on :
Cool World.
Posted by Launchywiggin (Member # 9116) on :
Oliver Stone's Alexander.
total crapfest, and the only movie I've ever walked out of.
(and I always sit through movies, no matter how bad they are)
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
My Boss' Daughter.
Only movie I've ever walked out of.
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
The Family Stone. I only went to see it because my friends wanted to go.
I did see Collateral in the theater. It wasn't that bad, but the ending was terrible.
Posted by Launchywiggin (Member # 9116) on :
Most dissapointing movies I've seen in theatres(because I was hoping for so much more)
Star Wars ep. I-III The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (soooo dissapointed)
Posted by lem (Member # 6914) on :
quote: If today is the last day you're going to see someone you care about, watch Sphere with them. It will be like you gained another lifetime together.
I may go out and buy that movie and follow your advice one day.
I saw ALL of Possession with Gwyneth Paltrow...at night...and I was tired. I consider that one of my greatest feats of will--more so then being a vegetarian and giving up carbonation for a year over a dollar bet.
My poor wife saw Alex and Emma in the theater. She is still mad at the wasted money. She says it was like watching Possession all over again, only worse. Much much worse. Glad I missed it!
[ September 17, 2006, 04:32 PM: Message edited by: lem ]
Posted by Pelegius (Member # 7868) on :
"History of Violence", my God, that was bad. Also, "Elizabethtown."
Posted by MandyM (Member # 8375) on :
Beloved and The Royal Tenenbaums I wanted to walk out of both of them but I kept thinking they would get better. I was sorely disappointed.
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Tomb Raider and Scooby Doo.
Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
I've only walked out of two movies in my life.
A Knight's Tale, and Riding in Cars with Boys.
The latter was much worse. I just...what...was the point?! Why do I care about you, Drew Barrymore?
-pH
Posted by airmanfour (Member # 6111) on :
Cars. I hated the first half, went out of the theater for a breather, and rest of the movie looked suspiciously like X-Men III.
Posted by Samarkand (Member # 8379) on :
I despised Gangs of New York:
Oh, look, gratuitous violence, gratuitous violence; oooh, let's throw a Bible in the water, that boy is so bad! I had an abortion, now the creepy gang leader doesn't want to do me any more, waa-waa; look! a decent character, I know, I know, let's kill him with a cleaver; hey, time to throw in some immigrant history - it's a wrap!
I would have enjoyed that movie very much if EVERYONE had died at the end. Gruesomely. But quickly. I regret to this day not walkign out and asking for my money back. I kept thinking it couldn't possibly get worse.
Posted by Elmer's Glue (Member # 9313) on :
Day After Tomorrow. Remake of Planet of the Apes. The Master of Disguise.
Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
I've seen many of the bad movies listed here so far, but not in theaters so they wouldn't count for this thread. The worst movies I saw in theaters would be Mortal Kombat: Annihilation and 2046. Each terrible in completely different ways.
--Enigmatic
Posted by MyrddinFyre (Member # 2576) on :
A History of Violence is one of my favoritest movies in the whole entire world.
Also, I'm really saddened by some of the movies that people actually got into their cars, drove to a theatre, and dished into their wallet for tickets to see Posted by DaisyMae (Member # 9722) on :
Oh, come on you guys. I'm willing to subject myself to worse crap than you guys are apparently.
A boy took me on a date to see Paulie Shore's Jury Duty. Even in my stupid teenage phase I could find nothing redeemable about this movie. Unbreakable and Planet of the Apes should get Oscars compared to this movie.
Also, my friend made me see Anaconda. Like I said, I'm willing to put up with a lot, but this movie was almost physically painful.
I right there with you on Master of Disguise though. Shameful. And I love Dana Carvey.
I think the worst comic movie is Fantastic Four. Ugghh.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Concur on Mars Attacks. If you are doing stupid cheese, then don't do realistic violence.
Bolero--Bo Derek does bad softcore porn
Posted by B34N (Member # 9597) on :
The Spy Who Shagged Me
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
I liked Riding in Cars with Boys.
It even had a cameo by the Indigo Girls.
Posted by Kasie H (Member # 2120) on :
Rock Star, with Mark Wahlberg and Jennifer Aniston.
I saw that with my mother. Close up nipple piercing, a guy chanting "I like to eat [insert female body part here]"...NOT fun.
Posted by arevoj (Member # 7347) on :
1) Boogie Nights 2) A History of Violence 3) Zoom
Posted by Dr Strangelove (Member # 8331) on :
This is a hilarious thread. Most of the movies I agree with as being awful, but some I'm baffled as to how someone could think they were awful. Bad maybe, but certainly not claw-your-eyes-out awful. Huh.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
I knew there was a third one--
A Vampire in Brooklyn.
Again, the movie couldn't decide if it wanted to be horror, absurdist, or a comedy, and came across as none of the above.
Posted by DaisyMae (Member # 9722) on :
Where were the Indigo Girls in RICWB? I love them. Did they sing, or did they act?
Posted by Luet13 (Member # 9274) on :
quote:Originally posted by arevoj: 1) Boogie Nights 2) A History of Violence 3) Zoom
Finally! Someone who also hated Boogie Nights. All of my friends love that movie. I thought it was the dumbest thing ever.
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
I liked Boogie Nights. It was good for a movie about Pr0n
Posted by starLisa (Member # 8384) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dan_raven: I knew there was a third one--
A Vampire in Brooklyn.
Again, the movie couldn't decide if it wanted to be horror, absurdist, or a comedy, and came across as none of the above.
Oh, God, yes. That was horrendous. I think I may have seen Superman IV in the theater, though, which would surpass Eddie Murphy's worst offense easily, if not for the fact that they actually stopped making Superman movies after the second one.
Posted by Brian J. Hill (Member # 5346) on :
Klimt. It was a biopic about a painter who halucinated a lot, and hung out with naked girls. Saw it in a French art house theatre and regretted the loss of my 5.50 euros immensely.
A close second is Day After Tomorrow, which was absolutely dreadful; paradoxically, seeing it was probably the most fun I've ever had at the movies, since I went to the late show with a huge group of friends and, since we were the only ones there, we spent the whole 90 minutes making fun of it.
Samarkand, your description of Gangs of New York was perfect, yet I still liked the movie. I'm not sure what that says about me . . .
Posted by blacwolve (Member # 2972) on :
Thankfully, it was in a second run theater, so I only paid two dollars to see it.
I tend to have a pretty good sense of what movies I'll like. I only go to the movies when there's a movie I really want to see out, so in general I tend to avoid seeing bad movies. This was with a group and was a non-optional activity.
Posted by Dr Strangelove (Member # 8331) on :
Why was Day After Tomorrow so bad? I mean, it sure wasn't great, but it seemed a pretty run of the mill "end of the world" flick. Nothing to make it truelly awful that I saw.
Tristan and Isolde was pretty bad. I walked out of "A History of Violence" and "Jarhead". I think the worst movie-going experience I can remember having was Star Wards: Episode II. Not only was the movie just an all around pain to watch, but I had to suffer through hearing it lauded afterwards.
Oh, I didn't care much for Flightplan or Red Eye, but those were just kinda "meh", not horrible.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
quote:I think the worst comic movie is Fantastic Four. Ugghh.
Have you ever seen The Phantom or Sargeant Fury?
Posted by Brian J. Hill (Member # 5346) on :
It's funny. The only redeeming quality of Episode II was the love story of Anakin and Padme, most of which ended up on the cutting room floor. There are some great scenes in the deleted scenes feature on the DVD, but its as if Lucas took one look at them and decided that the characters were behaving way too much like actual real human beings so they didn't belong in his film.
Posted by DaisyMae (Member # 9722) on :
mph- no I've not seen those movies.
I don't really seek out the comic movies. My husband tends to like them though, so we see the ones that get the biggest hype.
Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
quote:Originally posted by Brian J. Hill: It's funny. The only redeeming quality of Episode II was the love story of Anakin and Padme, most of which ended up on the cutting room floor. There are some great scenes in the deleted scenes feature on the DVD, but its as if Lucas took one look at them and decided that the characters were behaving way too much like actual real human beings so they didn't belong in his film.
That was the WORST part of the movie!
"I don't like sand. It's course, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere..."
-pH
Posted by sarfa (Member # 579) on :
My pick, Magnolia Completely unlikable, one-dimensional characters (in a supposed character study); a slow moving, almost non-existent plot. And at the end, when you hope that everything will tie together in a clever & meaningful way (as the beginning hints at), it rains frogs. This 3 hour turd-sandwich gets my vote as the worst movie I've seen in a theatre.
Posted by MandyM (Member # 8375) on :
Ooooh! I just thought of another one!
Vanilla Sky. What was the point? It was just awful!
I also saw Magnolia and Bringing Out the Dead but not at the theater thankfully! They were terrible. What do people like about Nicholas Cage in a dramatic role? He overacts and I just want to laugh. His comedies are hilarious and I think he has great comedic timing but in a drama he just sucks.
I agree with hating Boogie Nights as well. I never even finished the whole movie.
Posted by Brian J. Hill (Member # 5346) on :
quote:Originally posted by pH:
quote:Originally posted by Brian J. Hill: It's funny. The only redeeming quality of Episode II was the love story of Anakin and Padme, most of which ended up on the cutting room floor. There are some great scenes in the deleted scenes feature on the DVD, but its as if Lucas took one look at them and decided that the characters were behaving way too much like actual real human beings so they didn't belong in his film.
That was the WORST part of the movie!
"I don't like sand. It's course, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere..."
-pH
What was left from Lucas' bad chop job was the worst part of the movie. Believe it or not, the deleted scenes were pretty good.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
The love story in Ep II absolutely was the worst part.
When Amidala said "I truly, deeply love you," I yelled at the screen "No you don't!"
Yeah, they delted scenes made it better. But it still sucked.
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
Battlefield Earth-Ditto what everyone else said. One of two movies I've walked out on. He Got Game-Worst movie ever until... She Hate Me-I had never heard of it, and I wish I still didn't. The Island Of Dr. Moreau-Zzzzzzz Sphere-I read the book in one sitting. I'm still not sure I've seen all of the movie in between naps. Sense And Sensibility-It's my own fault for even agreeing to enter the theater. But my girlfriend walked out with me, too.
Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
What was that one depressing movie about the college kids who have all the sex?
Rules of Attraction?
-pH
Posted by MrSquicky (Member # 1802) on :
Corky Romano, but I have a good excuse. At least I think it was a good excuse. Other people have told me it paints me in an unfavorable light.
Posted by erosomniac (Member # 6834) on :
Some of my favorites are on this list, and that makes me sad. How can P.T. Anderson & W. Anderson movies be on this list?
Regardless, the worst movie I ever saw in theaters was Blank Check. I was 10, and really excited to be seeing a movie in theater, and I walked out. My parents followed me out looking eternally grateful.
To this day, the only movie I've walked out of.
Posted by Gluttony (Member # 4814) on :
1) Battlefield Earth is the only movie I have ever walked out on in the theater. I went to see it for my birthday, with 3 other friends. I think I was, like, 14 or something. We walked out and went and saw Frequency instead.
2) The Country Bears. I have a perfectly good excuse for this one. I worked for a movie theater, we had to make sure the movie was built properly. There were two movies that needed to be previewed that night, and I owed the assistant manager a favor.
Posted by Reticulum (Member # 8776) on :
King Kong. The only reason I didn't walk out, was because I don't like to waste money. It was absolutely moronic. Peter Jackson stinks on ice, and should be burnt at the stake.
Posted by stacey (Member # 3661) on :
Down with Love and The Sum of All Fears *shudders*
Posted by MightyCow (Member # 9253) on :
I didn't see either in the theater, but Eye of the Beholder and Young Adam are two of the worst movies ever made in the history of humanity.
I sometimes contemplating making it a rule that whenever I meet a person I don't know, the first think I tell them is to never see either of those movies.
I really don't understand, because Ewan McGregor can be so good, but in those movies he made me want to punch him in the face with a brick.
Posted by dem (Member # 2512) on :
1) VAMP (Grace Jones and lesbian vampires...how could it be bad???) 2) Godzilla (almost good, because the whole theatre was yelling at the screen by the end of the movie...those left in the theatre, at least) 3) King Kong (Maybe I just don't like over-sized monster movies.)
Posted by calaban (Member # 2516) on :
Spawn. Even with free tickets I was robbed. Serves me right for going. Day after tomorrow speaks for itself. *Sigh* Braces for impact. Star Trek: Final Frontier planted the seeds that killed my inner trekkie. Generations brought the seeds to fruition.
Honorable mention: Clock Watchers. Didn't see it in a theater, somone rented it and for some reason it sucked you in, you couldn't get away from it. The movie was a train wreck; we couldn't stop watching thinking that something somewhere was going to happen. It didn't, the movie just ended after fourty interminable days, er three hours.
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
Battlefield Earth (as many other people have pointed out.) This one I would have walked out on, but it was showing in a drive-in. It was so dark, even on the screen, that you couldn't really tell what was going on either. We have to sit through it to get to the second feature.
Luckily, at drive ins, there are other things you can do to entertain yourself instead of watching the movie when the movie is this bad. Posted by JonHecht (Member # 9712) on :
To whoever said 2046... what the heck are you talking about?! That movie was amazing.
Anyway, two movies I've walked out on were Battlefield Earth and... Men In Black II... god that movie was horrendous.
Posted by GiantReturns (Member # 9349) on :
Evil Dead thank god they realized how stupid it was and made Army of Darkness into a comedy
A Knight's Tale Is it bad to pretend your sick to get a refund?
Posted by Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged (Member # 7476) on :
The only movie I have ever walked out on was Batman and Robin...right after the first scene.
Posted by kmbboots (Member # 8576) on :
Exorcist II. Even as a mere child, I knew it sucked.
Posted by Nighthawk (Member # 4176) on :
quote:Originally posted by DaisyMae: Where were the Indigo Girls in RICWB? I love them. Did they sing, or did they act?
You're thinking about Boys On the Side, which all things considered wasn't bad. They had one of the themes (Power of Two) and were the band on stage near the end.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Unbreakable was bad, but the worst movie I've seen in the past year was The Producers. Oh, ow. I can't believe it was that show and those performances that won all the Tonys - it was a terrible movie. Catherine and I walked out of it.
Posted by FlyingCow (Member # 2150) on :
Dungeons and Dragons is the worst movie I've seen in a theater.
Thankfully, most of the other awful movies mentioned in this thread were seen only on video. Posted by BaoQingTian (Member # 8775) on :
Horse Whisperer. I tried to retreat inside myself. It didn't work, so boredom killed something inside during that movie.
Posted by The Pixiest (Member # 1863) on :
ouch.. I forgot I saw Mortal Kombat: Annihilation in the theatre...
My boyfriend at the time dragged me to that. He helped build one of the theatres and as a thank you, they held a big party and gave us a choice of two movies. One was an animated Disney movie that my tough construction worker ex-bf would never see, so we had to see the other one.
I've blocked most of it. But what I remember was terrible. even down to the quality of the film stock they used... *shudder*
Pix
Posted by DaisyMae (Member # 9722) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nighthawk:
quote:Originally posted by DaisyMae: Where were the Indigo Girls in RICWB? I love them. Did they sing, or did they act?
You're thinking about Boys On the Side, which all things considered wasn't bad. They had one of the themes (Power of Two) and were the band on stage near the end.
Ah, that makes sense. I haven't seen Boys on the Side, but I have see Riding in Cars With Boys and I'm pretty sure I would have remembered seeing the Indigo Girls in it.
Posted by Leonide (Member # 4157) on :
Along Came Polly
Posted by Samprimary (Member # 8561) on :
"Worst movie seen in theatres" is something of an extra painful subject for people, since it usually involves a night out, if not also money paid.
Dungeons and Dragons had acting bad enough to cause people to rend cheek-flesh with their own molars. I think I was dragged off to see it with a well meaning friend. It was, ... well, as terrible as people describe it.
Posted by Coccinelle (Member # 5832) on :
Date Movie- I left after the first 15 minutes.
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
Star Wars had me hooked on special effects laser weapons, and this one had Roddy McDowall from Planet of the Apes. What a disappointment.
Posted by Architraz Warden (Member # 4285) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dan_raven: Concur on Mars Attacks. If you are doing stupid cheese, then don't do realistic violence.
They turned people into colored skeletons... And the matrians exploded into green goo at the sound of yodeling... I might be missing some of the realism parts. Violent, I'll buy that. But fairly comic in a B-movie sort of way.
Then again, I liked Unbreakable as well. And I even managed to sit through the entirity of Battlefield Earth.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
'Age of Innocence'
I saw it with my then-good-friend, now-wife; we both fell asleep.
Posted by MrSquicky (Member # 1802) on :
Unbreakable was a very good movie that wasn't to some people's tastes. I could see people going to that and really not liking it.
But, for a lot of these, I mean, come on, you people had to know going in that they were going to be bad movies.
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
Bram Stoker's Dracula The Godfather III American Beauty American Psycho Minority Report Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
I actually enjoyed Unbreakable in my own way, but hey to each their own.
Strangely enough I've yet to walk out of a movie that I saw at the theatre. I've turned off movies that I was watching on DVD, I've changed the channel, and I've told people I was no longer interested in watching the movie we were all watching (If you force me to stay, I am not responsible for the comments that I utter out loud the rest of the movie)
Maybe I'm just lucky, or maybe I have a hidden spider sense that prevents me from dropping $7 to see movies that are going to suck, who knows?
As for worst movies I've SEEN in the theatre:
Anaconda (I got upset the moment I read the text before the film),"Anacondas....sometimes regurgitate their food so that they can kill again"
I almost yelled out, "WRONG!!! THATS SO WRONG!"
Starship Troopers: Even if you want to argue that its a satyr on the American military complex, it still sucks as satyr. I stood up to a mean kid who liked it alot, thats how much I didnt like it. I've heard lots of claims the book is much better.
Finally, "Verticle Limit" First movie I ever saw where all I could do was make fun of it. My best friend sitting next to me busted out laughing when the dad fell to his death at the beginning. I shooshed him for being a jerk but as soon as they formulated their plan to use nitro glycerine to save the stranded climbers it lost the last shred of sympathy from me.
HATED IT HATED IT HATED IT, and I was forced to see it again for my brothers birthday the next week Posted by Luet13 (Member # 9274) on :
quote:Originally posted by BlackBlade: ...it still sucks as satyr.
Did you mean satire? Isn't a satyr a goat-man? (Nitpicky, I know)
Posted by Ginol_Enam (Member # 7070) on :
quote:Originally posted by BlackBlade: Starship Troopers: Even if you want to argue that its a satyr on the American military complex, it still sucks as satyr.
Satyr? Posted by Architraz Warden (Member # 4285) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ginol_Enam:
quote:Originally posted by BlackBlade: Starship Troopers: Even if you want to argue that its a satyr on the American military complex, it still sucks as satyr.
Better Satyr! Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
quote:Originally posted by Luet13:
quote:Originally posted by BlackBlade: ...it still sucks as satyr.
Did you mean satire? Isn't a satyr a goat-man? (Nitpicky, I know)
DOH! you are right and even when I looked at the word I knew something didnt look right. Usually I am motivated enough to use dictionary.com to make sure but not this time.
I need to pay recompense for this offense!
Centaurs and satyrs are mythological animals, but rarely are they used in satire. I've read Mad magazine for many years, and though they are known for their clever satire, I have yet to see even one satyr featured in any of their pages.
Were one to use say, a satyr as an object suitable for satire, they would most likely be used to denote excess, and carelessness. Sexual excess would be especially suitable, as satyrs are known for their sexual appetites. For satiricle purposes a wino could also be compared to a satyr as satyres have a traditionally large appetite for wine. Other possibilities for satyrical satire are pan pipes or flutes, a favored instrument of satyrs, and goats, a relative of the half man, half goat satyr.
I feel much better now!
[ September 18, 2006, 03:16 PM: Message edited by: BlackBlade ]
Posted by MrSquicky (Member # 1802) on :
It's spelled satyr, not satyre. It's not a homophone for satire. Someone who knows about this will probably correct me, but the emphasis is on the first syllable and the y sound is short, not long.
Posted by erosomniac (Member # 6834) on :
quote:Starship Troopers: Even if you want to argue that its a satyr on the American military complex, it still sucks as satyr. I stood up to a mean kid who liked it alot, thats how much I didnt like it. I've heard lots of claims the book is much better.
It's not a satire on the American military complex, it's a satire on Heinlein's novel, and it is brilliantly executed.
The novel is excellent, and a very quick read. Pick it up!
Posted by MrSquicky (Member # 1802) on :
Incidentally, I liked the Starship Troopers movie. I didn't really have any expectations and it didn't disappoint. It wasn't a good movie by any means, but I found it enjoyable.
Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
quote:Originally posted by MrSquicky: It's spelled satyr, not satyre. It's not a homophone for satire. Someone who knows about this will probably correct me, but the emphasis is on the first syllable and the y sound is short, not long.
oh man, I had to fix my penance, stage 2 is going to be painful, Ill tell you all how it goes.
Posted by Promethius (Member # 2468) on :
Ultra Violet, I am ashamed I saw this piece of trash.
Posted by MyrddinFyre (Member # 2576) on :
I looove Starship Troopers, especially how they sneak in teenage-high-school stories into this big bloody satire. I think it's a ton of fun.
Posted by hansenj (Member # 4034) on :
My preface is that I worked in a movie theater for two and a half years, so movies were free, and my friends and I got a kick out of seeing terrible movies...
The Mummy The Mummy Returns The Scorpian King Crossroads...yes, the one with Brittney Spears. Eight Legged Freaks Country Bears (I noticed I'm not the first to mention this one...hee hee.) Reign of Fire...*shudder* Jurassic Park III The Haunting
I'm sure I'll think of more.
Posted by Seatarsprayan (Member # 7634) on :
Worst movie? Pleasantville.
Movies so boring I fell asleep? (Granted, I was a kid at the time and these were "the other movie" on a double feature.) Eight Men Out. The Big Blue.
Posted by Will B (Member # 7931) on :
Bulworth.
If you count movies I walked out on in the first 15, Scary Movie 2.
Posted by Nighthawk (Member # 4176) on :
quote:Originally posted by MyrddinFyre: I looove Starship Troopers, especially how they sneak in teenage-high-school stories into this big bloody satire. I think it's a ton of fun.
I've heard it referred to as "Beverly Hills 90210 In Space". And it's much more tolerable if you haven't read the book.
I still find it amusing how many movies that I've actually liked have been listed above. I'm not going to point any of them out or else I'll start heated debates; it's bad enough that every other person reverses the direction that Unbreakable is taking...
Posted by Will B (Member # 7931) on :
Bulworth.
If you count movies I walked out on in the first 15, Scary Movie 2.
Posted by Dasa (Member # 8968) on :
A.I. Very good acting, but man, the movie was pretentious, pointless and most of all boring.
Posted by Nighthawk (Member # 4176) on :
(Double post - Hatrack is possessed today...)
[ September 18, 2006, 06:33 PM: Message edited by: Nighthawk ]
Posted by Samarkand (Member # 8379) on :
Dear hansenj,
You big idiot. Scorpion is SO clearly not spelled like that. Gosh. Also, I am so insulted that you are not returning my phone calls. I have HP gossip and theories for you. If only the stipulation that you had to have seen the movie in a theater were not there, your list would be much, much better. *tweaks out a little at the thought*
And - Dear Everyone Else Talking About Satyrs,
These poor linked to creatures have apparently been to see an especially enthusiastic big animal vet, because they are lacking a rather critical piece of anatomy . . . those just aren't real satyrs.
No linky to shield the eyes of the innocent.
Posted by Samarkand (Member # 8379) on :
Dear hansenj,
You big idiot. Scorpion is SO clearly not spelled like that. Gosh. Also, I am so insulted that you are not returning my phone calls. I have HP gossip and theories for you. If only the stipulation that you had to have seen the movie in a theater were not there, your list would be much, much better. *tweaks out a little at the thought*
And - Dear Everyone Else Talking About Satyrs,
These poor linked to creatures have apparently been to see an especially enthusiastic big animal vet, because they are lacking a rather critical piece of anatomy . . . those just aren't real satyrs.
No linky to shield the eyes of the innocent.
Posted by MyrddinFyre (Member # 2576) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nighthawk:
quote:Originally posted by MyrddinFyre: I looove Starship Troopers, especially how they sneak in teenage-high-school stories into this big bloody satire. I think it's a ton of fun.
I've heard it referred to as "Beverly Hills 90210 In Space". And it's much more tolerable if you haven't read the book.
I still find it amusing how many movies that I've actually liked have been listed above. I'm not going to point any of them out or else I'll start heated debates; it's bad enough that every other person reverses the direction that Unbreakable is taking...
Haven't read the book
And ditto on the second point. I tend to be on the Love side of movies that are Love Em Or Hate Em types. Like, AI, Unbreakable, etc.
Posted by Altáriël of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
Freakin' The Ring 2. I still want my money back.
Posted by Altáriël of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
quote:Originally posted by hansenj: My preface is that I worked in a movie theater for two and a half years, so movies were free, and my friends and I got a kick out of seeing terrible movies...
The Mummy The Mummy Returns The Scorpian King Crossroads...yes, the one with Brittney Spears. Eight Legged Freaks Country Bears (I noticed I'm not the first to mention this one...hee hee.) Reign of Fire...*shudder* Jurassic Park III The Haunting
I'm sure I'll think of more.
I beg to differ on the first two Mummy movies. The Scorpion King was not too bad.
Posted by MyrddinFyre (Member # 2576) on :
woah, lagged double post
[ September 18, 2006, 07:55 PM: Message edited by: MyrddinFyre ]
Posted by Mintieman (Member # 4620) on :
Some of the movies mentioned rank among my favourites. I am saddened
One that I'm suprised hasn't been mentioned is Van Helsing. oh god, that was bad
Posted by citadel (Member # 8367) on :
Battlefield Earth Babes in Toyland Stick it Jackson's King Kong Godzilla The Ring The Grudge
Oh so horrrrrriible.
Posted by Eaquae Legit (Member # 3063) on :
Ah ha! No one has mentioned yet some of the stinkers I've paid money for!
Kull the Conqueror Warriors of Virtue
I really am curious to see what can top those. Except perhaps the Country Bears, which I never ever want to see, ever, even free.
Posted by Eaquae Legit (Member # 3063) on :
Ah ha! No one has mentioned yet some of the stinkers I've paid money for!
Kull the Conqueror Warriors of Virtue
I really am curious to see what can top those. Except perhaps the Country Bears, which I never ever want to see, ever, even free.
Posted by Architraz Warden (Member # 4285) on :
No mentions of Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever?
Posted by Nighthawk (Member # 4176) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dasa: A.I. Very good acting, but man, the movie was pretentious, pointless and most of all boring.
You must despise 2001 then...
Bit of trivia: Rock Hudson walked out of the Los Angeles premiere of 2001, saying, "Will someone tell me what the hell this is about?"
Posted by Carrie (Member # 394) on :
The Chronicles of Riddick.
It remains the only film in the past ten years during which I have actually gotten up to use the bathroom. Normally, I hold it and wait. Not so much during Riddick... Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
Van Helsing would definitely rate if I'd seen it in a Theater. I'm raking my memory and can't come up with why we watched Battlefield earth. Must have been during a phase when we saw everyingthing that came through the dollar theater.
Riding in Cars with Boys does have a plot turn that explains why the guy she's with keeps calling another woman about how he's going to leave her any minute now. But it was as painful as Napoleon Dynamite without being funny. Unless you're my husband.
Then, I had a friend who couldn't finish Raising Arizona. She thought it was just about pathetic trailer trash. I wonder what she thinks now that most of the actors in it have won Oscars. She and I sat through "Ishtar" on video by the way. And yeah, I only italicize movies I like on purpose. Some I don't even bother putting quotes around.
Anyone who saw Ishtar in the theater automatically wins. But I'm pretty sure anyone who saw it in the theater would have had an aneurism and died.
Hey, Pop! I saw Cool World. It was kind of weird and confusing, and when I saw the pitch for MonkeyBone a few years ago I got PTSD. I remember why I saw Cool World, though. It's because it was the only thing showing on the Turkish air base in October of 1992.
[ September 18, 2006, 09:52 PM: Message edited by: pooka ]
Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
quote:Originally posted by Carrie: The Chronicles of Riddick.
It remains the only film in the past ten years during which I have actually gotten up to use the bathroom. Normally, I hold it and wait. Not so much during Riddick...
BLASPHEMY!
-pH
Posted by Mucus (Member # 9735) on :
Scary Movie 2.
Nothing beats knowing that a movie is going to be bad, being dragged by a friend to it and finding out that (surprise!) its bad, then seeing the stupidity of the human race in funding a sequel, knowing thats its bad again, being dragged to the second one by a different group of friends, and then dying as I strangle myself with my own esophagus.
Posted by Nighthawk (Member # 4176) on :
I'm pretty sure I saw Ishtar in theater. Or on TV. Definitely, yeah, definitely in a theater. But it's a complete blank; I know I've seen it *somewhere*, but I can't remember it. Is that yet another repressed memory? Something I can't even consider admitting?
Can a movie be so bad that my brain denies any knowledge of its existance?
Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
Ill be honest if I had seen "The Life Aquatica: With Steve Zisso" I probably would have walked out. I was just SO bored watching it.
Posted by Carrie (Member # 394) on :
quote:Originally posted by pH:
quote:Originally posted by Carrie: The Chronicles of Riddick.
It remains the only film in the past ten years during which I have actually gotten up to use the bathroom. Normally, I hold it and wait. Not so much during Riddick...
BLASPHEMY!
-pH
Yes, well, O Brother, Where Art Thou? remains the only movie EVER to put me to sleep on first viewing.
I guess I have slightly different taste. Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
quote:Ill be honest if I had seen "The Life Aquatica: With Steve Zisso" I probably would have walked out. I was just SO bored watching it.
You'll understand this brilliant movie someday, and this post will make you feel ashamed.
Posted by HegemonsAcolyte (Member # 1468) on :
hmm...
Peter Jackson's King Kong Tom Cruise's War of the Worlds and I would also say that the Matrix Reloaded deserves an honorable (or is it dishonorable?) mention.
Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
quote:Originally posted by Frisco:
quote:Ill be honest if I had seen "The Life Aquatica: With Steve Zisso" I probably would have walked out. I was just SO bored watching it.
You'll understand this brilliant movie someday, and this post will make you feel ashamed.
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
I actually fell asleep during Sixth Sense.
![[Kiss]](graemlins/kiss.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
BLASPHEMY!