A girl smiles at you and you fall in love with her?
Posted by Paul Goldner (Member # 1910) on :
No?
Posted by Strider (Member # 1807) on :
Depends on who the girl is I guess.
Posted by Swampjedi (Member # 7374) on :
No, even though it's always "I just want to be friends" for me.
Posted by Dr Strangelove (Member # 8331) on :
Yes.
Posted by Little_Doctor (Member # 6635) on :
Yes.
Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
Yeah, kinda do. I mean it's a nice feeling and all. And it would be wonderful if I could expect... you know, something to come of that feeling. Like, if I already knew she was in love with me for instance. But otherwise... not so much. Cause usually it just means I think "Wow", shortly followed by "Aww crap, not again". I'm not good with the whole girl thing.
Posted by cmc (Member # 9549) on :
Just piping in (sorry to intrude, but only a little sorry)... um, it sucks for girls, too (meaning when a guy smiles and you fall in love...)!!! ; )
ps - Alcon - i think i know what you mean, i'm not really good with the guy thing. so basically feeling totally attracted after meeting someone for a short while throws me off!!
Posted by kojabu (Member # 8042) on :
I don't think that'd be possible for me.
Posted by Euripides (Member # 9315) on :
Umm, not really? Unless she smiles at everyone?
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
SoaP, m' boy, the technical term for what you are feeling is 'lust'.
Posted by Swampjedi (Member # 7374) on :
Lust is too harsh. Attraction.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
I don't believe in love at first sight.
I believe in lust/like/infatuation/attraction/whatever at first sight, which can turn into love, but usually not.
Posted by Swampjedi (Member # 7374) on :
Yeah, it's just imprecise language.
Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
Attraction is a little too week, lust and infatuation are too strong. I doubt we'll find an exact word for it. But he got the point across, I think we all know the feeling he was talking about.
Posted by Boothby171 (Member # 807) on :
It's only good if she feels something for you, too.
Otherwise, it's just cold showers all the way down...
Posted by Phanto (Member # 5897) on :
Perhaps loving lust.
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
Maybe our hearts know something our minds can't understand.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote:Originally posted by mr_porteiro_head: I don't believe in love at first sight.
I believe in lust/like/infatuation/attraction/whatever at first sight, which can turn into love, but usually not.
Exactly.
Posted by Libbie (Member # 9529) on :
Looooooove is a many-spleeennnndored thiiiiinnng.
Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
quote:Originally posted by rivka:
quote:Originally posted by mr_porteiro_head: I don't believe in love at first sight.
I believe in lust/like/infatuation/attraction/whatever at first sight, which can turn into love, but usually not.
Nope, unless 'heart' is a metaphor for the subconscious.
Posted by Launchywiggin (Member # 9116) on :
I don't fall for the girls who smile.
I fall for the girls who hate me, and look at me like I'm an idiot. They're the ones who're smart and difficult--my type all over.
Posted by Tyler (Member # 9930) on :
Ill have to agree, its my least favorite feeling. Especially sense, silly as i am, i do it seemingly every day, consistantly saying 'well, she might be the one'
ha. i agree with mr. porteiro.
Posted by Cactus Jack (Member # 2671) on :
Yes, I hate it.
No, over-analyzing it doesn't do any good.
It's still . . . hate-worthy.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
Like a poet, you are. Or a country music lyricist.
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
quote:Like a poet, you are. Or a country music lyricist.
guess which one makes more money
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
quote:Originally posted by rivka:
quote:Originally posted by mr_porteiro_head: I don't believe in love at first sight.
I believe in lust/like/infatuation/attraction/whatever at first sight, which can turn into love, but usually not.
Exactly.
But you can have something more than lust/like/infatuation/attraction/whatever at first conversation that turns into love and there is a feeling of inevitableness about the whole situation.
(I'm not disagreeing, I'm just being sappy, and recollecting.)
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Awwww.
The first contact I had with my now-husband, I thought he was a total dufus. And possibly not all that bright.
Luckily, I was wrong. He's a total dufus, all right, but in a good way. And he's very bright, just not at 1 in the morning after writing e-mails for two hours after studying for three. I'm surprised he could type at all coherently, knowing him as I now do.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
The first time I saw they guy who would be my husband, I was on top of a building on campus looking down, and saw him going across the quad. I was instantly fascinated, and said, "That is someone that I'd like to get to know better."
And I did.
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
*Awwww*
To expand on my last post - I met my (now) husband on a non-date with a mutual friend. Our friend by no means intended to set us up (in fact, she was kind of ticked off by the events she set in motion). But from the first conversation we had that night, we realised there was something very, very serious between us.
We were dating (exclusively) a week afterwards, and pretty much committed in our relationship a day after that.
Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :
The first time I saw my husband was, for lack of a better word, resonant. Sure, he had that mixture of physical characteristics that pushed my buttons (gorgeous red-gold hair, strong profile (I have a thang for nice straight, narrow nose, for some reason) and a certain assurance in the way he carried himself) but it was more than that. Would I call it "love" as I have come to know it? No, but I wouldn't call it strictly "lust" either. I am familiar with lust, and find it fairly easy to ignore.
There is a Japanese folk tradition that says true lovers are united from birth by a crimson thread. If they meet each other, they know it right away, but if they never meet they just kind of vaguely feel like they are missing something their whole lives.
Does everyone have a crimson thread? I don't know. But I DO believe that there was something almost prescient about what I experienced when I first met my husband.
(I also don't mean to imply that those whose first meetings with their true loves were not that resonant are not truly meant to be. I just wanted to asert that while "love at first sight" is a simplistic and easily misused phrase, dismissing it as pure lust is also somewhat simplistic and misleading.
(In the interest of full disclosure I should admit to wanting to break the hubby's kneecaps yesterday, over a rather involved miscommunication. However, that doesn't mean I don't love him )
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
im, "first conversation" ≠ "first sight"
I do believe you can know a lot about a person (at least sometimes) from a single conversation.
I also believe (based not only on my own observations) that we tend to remember things a tad differently than we might have described them at the time.
Posted by SoaPiNuReYe (Member # 9144) on :
It DEFINETLY is not love at first site...
I've known the girl for over 2 years now. Shes really popular and was the sophmore homecoming princess at my highschool. I had a class with her in 8th grade and that's how I knew her but we never hung out in ninth grade, and until now the most interaction between us was saying hi in the hallways or at football games. Im in 10th grade now, and she transferred into my spanish class about 5 weeks ago. We talked a bit more but we still didnt hang out or anything. All of a sudden this Friday she comes in and basically turns my life upside down.
I sit in the front of my class (assigned seats) and she sits all the way on the other side of the class. I sit by the door and on Friday as I was sitting down, she comes in. I say hi to her, and she looks all funny at me, touches my cheek and exclaims about how cute I am to the girl who sits beside me. About 30 minutes later we do a group activity and my partner for the activity sits right beside the girl. So I go sit with my partner and the girl's partner comes and sits by her. Long story short, she ends up playing footsie with me during the whole activity. Im trying to play it Ice Cold but its hard and I have no idea why all of sudden all this affection is coming from her. At the end of class she asks me if I was the kid who asked her if we were supposed to turn in some worksheet and if I had her language teacher. I wasn't the kid and didn't have her language teacher, so I told her so. She then asks her self why she mixed me up with someone else, only the answer the question by saying she thinks too much about me, while smiling. It was the smile that got me, but everthing that had happened that period was buzzing through my head. I don't know if I like this girl...
Help?
Posted by Paul Goldner (Member # 1910) on :
Ask her if she'd like to get ice cream or coffee or whatever it is you tenth graders do Find OUT if you like her. Thats what dates are for.
Posted by Nighthawk (Member # 4176) on :
Aw... youth... how adorable.
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
quote:Attraction is a little too week, lust and infatuation are too strong. I doubt we'll find an exact word for it. But he got the point across, I think we all know the feeling he was talking about.
Twitterpation. The word you are looking for is twitterpation. Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
quote:Originally posted by Belle:
quote:Like a poet, you are. Or a country music lyricist.
guess which one makes more money
I'm a twang and a guitar away from the big bucks!
Posted by Altáriël of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
I want a shoulder to cry on too!! (hint hint)
Posted by Ecthalion (Member # 8825) on :
i agree with the general sentiment that love at first sight doesnt really exist.
its those times when its somone you're already close to and then they smile at you for some reason or another and suddenly you feel different about their smile. Or more importantly, you suddenly realise that you actually like them smiling at you and have to really think out why you just realised that you like them smiling at you. Which usually leads to you realising you like alot more about them than just a smile....
and yes, i hate it
[ December 04, 2006, 12:33 AM: Message edited by: Ecthalion ]
Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
quote:Originally posted by Paul Goldner: whatever it is you tenth graders do
....with your rap music and your emo pants. GET OFF MY LAWN!
-pH
Posted by erosomniac (Member # 6834) on :
quote:Originally posted by SoaPiNuReYe: It DEFINETLY is not love at first site...
I've known the girl for over 2 years now. Shes really popular and was the sophmore homecoming princess at my highschool. I had a class with her in 8th grade and that's how I knew her but we never hung out in ninth grade, and until now the most interaction between us was saying hi in the hallways or at football games. Im in 10th grade now, and she transferred into my spanish class about 5 weeks ago. We talked a bit more but we still didnt hang out or anything. All of a sudden this Friday she comes in and basically turns my life upside down.
I sit in the front of my class (assigned seats) and she sits all the way on the other side of the class. I sit by the door and on Friday as I was sitting down, she comes in. I say hi to her, and she looks all funny at me, touches my cheek and exclaims about how cute I am to the girl who sits beside me. About 30 minutes later we do a group activity and my partner for the activity sits right beside the girl. So I go sit with my partner and the girl's partner comes and sits by her. Long story short, she ends up playing footsie with me during the whole activity. Im trying to play it Ice Cold but its hard and I have no idea why all of sudden all this affection is coming from her. At the end of class she asks me if I was the kid who asked her if we were supposed to turn in some worksheet and if I had her language teacher. I wasn't the kid and didn't have her language teacher, so I told her so. She then asks her self why she mixed me up with someone else, only the answer the question by saying she thinks too much about me, while smiling.
She wants to get to know you better. Period.
Her interest may not be romantic, but she's still, uh, interested. You have nothing to lose here by asking her if she wants to spend some time together. In a casual, "ice cream or whatever it is you 10th graders do" sort of way.
Posted by Homestarrunner (Member # 5090) on :
I would have to disagree. My gut instinct says she's flirting, and is in stage 1. Stage 2 starts immediately after she gets the guy interested. Then she starts ignoring him completely and will even be hostile just to maximize his pain and embarrassment.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Bitter, much?
Posted by Homestarrunner (Member # 5090) on :
Experienced.
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
quote:Originally Posted by: SoaPiNuReYe Long story short, she ends up playing footsie with me during the whole activity.
You sure it was her? There could be some REALLY confused person sitting at home right now with a BIIIG crush on you.
Homestar -
Have to go with rivka on that one. "Experience" would tell you that not all girls are like that, just the ones that aren't worth your time.
The thing I never really developed a radar for was when a girl is flirting because she likes you and when she is flirting because she's just, well, flirting. Girls at my work are the most flirtatious people I've ever met, but I know that probably 95% of them are just kidding around, and it's all just in good fun, and 100% of whatever flirting I do is just that too, really a joke more than anything nearing romantic interest. But it's impossible to tell the difference, because flirting is all the same, but the intent is a mystery, and it takes me forever to parse out the difference.
I mean, at least when a guy flirts with a girl (single guys anyway, or douchebag guys in relationships), the girl being flirting with knows what his intentions are (or at least has a decent idea), but guys remain flummoxed (or at least, I do). It took me forever (seriously, the better part of 9 or 10 months) to ascertain whether or not Raia might have liked me before we started dating, and even then it took me even more time to work up anything even close to the necessary amount of courage to tell her how I felt.
So I still blame girls, but not because I think they are evil, or because I'm bitter, but because they're like a devilishly hard game of Clue, where I'm stuck in the Conservatory and can't seem to find the secret passage. But that still doesn't stop me from playing the game Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
quote:I mean, at least when a guy flirts with a girl (single guys anyway, or douchebag guys in relationships), the girl being flirting with knows what his intentions are (or at least has a decent idea), but guys remain flummoxed (or at least, I do).
Gotta disagree with you there. There are plenty of guys who simply flirt, period, with no other intentions. They flirt because that's how they communicate. And then, you work up the nerve to say, "Hey, wanna go out some time," and they act completely floored, as though the thought of you romantically never even crossed their minds. So, no, just because a guy flirts doesn't mean that the flirtee knows his intentions.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I know guys that flirt to prove to themselves that they are attractive. I know girls that do the same thing.
It's not great, but they don't actually have a relationship or kiss someone or have them give up things for them just for the thrill, but I've known plenty of people of both genders who flirt for the fun of it without ever intending for their to be followup consequences.
I don't actually think that's bad. Flirting is fun. Just don't sell the farm and buy a ring until you are sure there is something more.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
I don't disagree with you at all, and I didn't mean to imply it was a bad thing. I just felt the need to disagree with the, "Guys are obvious and girls are mysterious" declaration. Cause, y'know, it doesn't always work that way.
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
But it usually does, to take just one reason, because of the whole nice girl thing, I vow.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
quote:Originally posted by Homestarrunner: I would have to disagree. My gut instinct says she's flirting, and is in stage 1. Stage 2 starts immediately after she gets the guy interested. Then she starts ignoring him completely and will even be hostile just to maximize his pain and embarrassment.
Sounds like the girl went farther than she ought to have, and is now mortified.
Posted by MrSquicky (Member # 1802) on :
I just started dating a girl who I've been hiting on for at least 6 months now. Apparently, it took our mutual friend's brother asking how long we'd been dating for it to click for her that I was actually interested in her. I'd long ago figured that she wasn't interested in me, but was fine with me flirting and being physical with her, which I'm cool with.
Now, I'm a very flirty guy, but I'm not very subtle. And though I do spread my flirty around, especially recently, where, for reasons I can't fathom but am not going to question, I've found myself in the company of some really amazing looking women with fantastic personalities, I thought it was clear that if my flirting is on a certain level, I'm basically fair game for you to do with as you will. Apparently not.
Posted by MightyCow (Member # 9253) on :
The awesome thing about finding someone attractive is it gives you a lot of incentive to ask them out.
If they say yes, awesome. If they say no, find another person you find attractive and repeat.
[ December 04, 2006, 04:13 PM: Message edited by: MightyCow ]
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
quote:I just started dating a girl who I've been hiting on for at least 6 months now. Apparently, it took our mutual friend's brother asking how long we'd been dating for it to click for her that I was actually interested in her.
She didn't get the hint when you asked her out? Posted by Nighthawk (Member # 4176) on :
quote:Originally posted by MightyCow: The awesome thing about finding someone attractive is it gives you a lot of incentive to ask them out.
If they say yes, awesome. If they say now, find another person you find attractive and repeat.
God, you make that sound so easy.
Posted by Altáriël of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr Strangelove: Yes.
*smile*
Posted by MrSquicky (Member # 1802) on :
quote:She didn't get the hint when you asked her out?
Funny story. She threatened to run me down with her car.
I likes 'em homicidal, I do.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
quote:Originally posted by beverly:
quote:Attraction is a little too week, lust and infatuation are too strong. I doubt we'll find an exact word for it. But he got the point across, I think we all know the feeling he was talking about.
Twitterpation. The word you are looking for is twitterpation.
If it makes me feel like swooning, would it be syncopation?
Posted by brojack17 (Member # 9189) on :
I was introduced to my wife by a mutual friend... Bud Light. We met at a bar and after ignoring me for 15 minutes, she finally let me buy her a drink and dance with her. It wasn't my slick moves on the dance floor that got her, it was the fact that after about 30 minutes of talking, I told her I had a daughter from my first marriage. Not the best pickup line, I know, but something made me tell her. (BTW, she had one too from her first marriage. The girls are only three months apart.)
Later that night, we were having an early morning breakfast at Denny's and I looked at her and said to myself, "I'm going to marry her!"
I don't know if it was a little red string, fate, or dumb luck but something brought us together. Maybe it was Bud Light.
Posted by MightyCow (Member # 9253) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nighthawk: God, you make that sound so easy.
It is pretty easy, once you realize that it's not such a big deal. True, when you first start dating, it can seem like this is the world's perfect person, and if you don't make them love you, you will never find true love again. Or, sometimes it seems like the possibility of being turned down for a date is so horrible, that it's better not to even ask at all.
Those are self-destructive ways of thinking. I personally don't believe that there's One Right Person out there for everyone. There are a whole lot of people who are varying degrees of right, and you are varying degrees of right for a whole lot of people. The ideal situation is to find a partner who makes you happy, and who you make happy, and go have a happy life together.
The way you do that is by asking people out, getting to know them, and finding out if you're compatible.
It is just like any challenging activity, if you never try, you'll never succeed.
You have to realize that there's nothing magic or mystical about any one person. They're just a person like you. They also get nervous, they also want to be happy and find the right partner. Just talk to them, get to know each other.
Posted by Homestarrunner (Member # 5090) on :
quote:Originally posted by Tante Shvester:
quote:Originally posted by Homestarrunner: I would have to disagree. My gut instinct says she's flirting, and is in stage 1. Stage 2 starts immediately after she gets the guy interested. Then she starts ignoring him completely and will even be hostile just to maximize his pain and embarrassment.
Sounds like the girl went farther than she ought to have, and is now mortified.
There's flirting in 10th grade, when it's almost flirting to flirt, and the kids aren't so jaded yet and can really be manipulated. It's a game. I hate to go age-ist here, but there you go. The stakes aren't quite as high, the consequences don't seem as lasting, and there's all these feelings floating around to experiment with.
I'm certainly not bitter against women, and I'm not against flirting as a form of, er, attracting a mate. But it seems to work a lot differently when high school is some years in the past and relationships have more weight. The signals are different. The games are a little more serious, not quite done anymore with the wide-eyed wonder of teenagers bafflingly oblivious to the results.
The description just reminded me of every single game girls were playing when I was in 10th grade, that's all.
![[Hat]](graemlins/hat.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
However, that doesn't mean I don't love him ![[Wink]](wink.gif)