I'm throwing a pity party thread for myself, and all of you are invited.
My husband's immediate family (parents, siblings, and sibling spouses & kids) want to do a big family vacation this summer, which is difficult, given that we're spread out between the East Coast and the West Coast... of both the US & India. To add to the difficulty, the two kids/infants will be roughly 1.5 years old and 8 months at the time of the trip, and my MIL is older and doesn't like to walk more than a mile or two.
When planning started last December, Europe was the destination. Fine. I nixed one a whirlwind tour of six countries in ten days ( Can you imagine? With infants!!) to operating out of one city as a base. Rome was at first the choice of the family, but my husband eventually got that cut in place of Vienna, since Rome is filled with lots of walking on hills & stairs. Plus he went there last fall. Somehow, though, Europe fell through, so now we're looking at the States as the destination. The India folk first thought up a tour that included:
San Francisco
LA
Las Vegas (with small children?)
Grand Canyon (remember, this is summer)
New Orleans
Washington DC
NYC
Boston
Niagara Falls
... in about three weeks. Right. So the only American of the family (me), explained a bit about the distances involved in the US, and how about they pick a coast & stick to it?
Current plan that will probably end up going through, since I think I've ran out of vetos:
Fri Aug 21 - Reach SFO Sat Aug 22 - SFO - Fisherman's wharf, city trip bus, Alcatraz, (Day trip) Sun Aug 23 - Mystery Spot & Monterey Bay Aquarium (Day trip) Mon Aug 24 - Vegas Tue Aug 25 - Grand Canyon (Day trip from Vegas by coach) Wed Aug 26 - Vegas Thu Aug 27 - LA - Universal Studios, Hollywood Walk of fame, Celebrity homes Fri Aug 28 - LA - Getty Museum Sat Aug 29 - Sonoma (Overnight in Inverness) Sun Aug 30 - Pt.Reyes & beaches Mon Aug 31 - Home - Drive-by tech companies/Winchester House
Remember, this is a trip with two children under two, one of whom will be arriving in the US after traveling about 24 hours from India, which is about 13.5 hours ahead of California.
Can I mention that I spent my entire life in California, hate going to tourist spots or generally "touristy" tours, have been to all these tourist spots, and would really, really like to show them at least a little bit of "real" California & the US? But, no.
This is going to be my only major vacation this year. Also, my family is all in the Bay Area, and there is no way I can go to California without spending some significant time with them. Especially since husband's brother's place is only three miles from my dad's house. No idea how I'm going to handle the family politics on this one yet...
... Sigh, thanks for listening, Hatrack.
Posted by ambyr (Member # 7616) on :
Umm, wow. That's quite the whirlwind tour. You have my sympathies. (They do realize it might be a good idea to schedule a couple days in there to -travel- from SF to Vegas and from LA to Sonoma, right? Particularly if they want to do something more scenic [and less odorous] coming north from LA than I-5. . . .)
Point Reyes is nice, at least?
My family is not so much with the whirlwind tour and more with the "Let's cram 30 family members together into one beach house for a week. We don't have enough beds, but if you're under 45, you won't mind sleeping on the floor, right?"
After sixteen years of doing that sort of thing annually, I finally, citing cost and limited vacation time, told everyone that I was cutting back to once every other year and skipping this summer.
They are all baffled. "Why don't you want to come? It's so much fun!"
I'm glad it's fun for someone.
Posted by The Pixiest (Member # 1863) on :
You're trying to do too much. Spend more time in the bay area. Cut out Sonoma (it's a farm!) and probably vegas (not good for kids.)
Posted by Kama (Member # 3022) on :
I think Jhai knows it's too much. Hence the thread Posted by The Pixiest (Member # 1863) on :
Kama: True.
BTW Jhai, I'm in San Jose if you've got time. *cackle*
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
I think it's perfectly reasonable that someone coming over from India is going to want to see touristy things rather than the "real" US. After all, they're tourists. It's also, of course, perfectly reasonable that someone who grew up in the Bay area isn't going to be thrilled with another trip to Alcatraz. How about you skip out on all of the first weekend activities to spend that time with your family? You can rejoin for the Vegas trip, which doesn't seem too overscheduled. Yeah, it's going to be crazy, but you've done what you can to mitigate that, and there's a point where you just have to let go. And make a deal with your husband that next year the big vacation is spent on what you want to do. Posted by theamazeeaz (Member # 6970) on :
Don't worry about visiting the Grand Canyon in the summer. The south rim temperature of the canyon is usually in the 80s, and I doubt your group will be going down in it. A "Vegas bus trip" won't be having people hike.
Posted by Eaquae Legit (Member # 3063) on :
quote:Originally posted by ElJay: I think it's perfectly reasonable that someone coming over from India is going to want to see touristy things rather than the "real" US. After all, they're tourists. It's also, of course, perfectly reasonable that someone who grew up in the Bay area isn't going to be thrilled with another trip to Alcatraz. How about you skip out on all of the first weekend activities to spend that time with your family? You can rejoin for the Vegas trip, which doesn't seem too overscheduled. Yeah, it's going to be crazy, but you've done what you can to mitigate that, and there's a point where you just have to let go. And make a deal with your husband that next year the big vacation is spent on what you want to do.
That sounds incredibly sensible.
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
Sorry. It is a rant thread, after all.
Posted by Samprimary (Member # 8561) on :
Haha wow. That doesn't sound like what I consider a 'vacation' — it more resembles a tour of duty. Posted by Sterling (Member # 8096) on :
Vegas isn't as bad for children as it used to be in the "here's $10, burn your eyeballs out in the arcades, kids" era. Still, under-twos...? Ouch. Sympathies.
Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
My experience with large family vacations, particularly where babies are involved, is that the most important thing is to quickly dispose of the idea that everyone has to do everything together. If you have any input at all, try to get people to agree to early on that splitting up is OK.
We had one vacation with my husbands family which included two babies and 3 or 4 other small children. One SIL was particularly insistent that the whole group stay together which largely involved everyone waiting around impatiently for both babies to be awake, fed, diapered and ready go at the same instant. And after 2 days, with tempers running very thin, my MIL finally put her foot down and said (and I quote) "I'm the Matriarch of the family and I say we should let people split off into different groups". It literally saved the rest of trip from becoming a family horror story.
When you've got a large family group with a broad range of physical abilities and needs and including both older people and babies, it isn't reasonable to expect that everyone should do everything together. Trying to force that will make the entire trip miserable. It's far preferable to split up for the afternoon and reconvene for a nice family dinner than to try to stay together round the clock.
Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
quote:Vegas isn't as bad for children as it used to be in the "here's $10, burn your eyeballs out in the arcades, kids" era. Still, under-twos...? Ouch. Sympathies.
It really depends a great deal on the kids. I went to Australia for 2 weeks with a 6 month old baby a few years ago and she handled the two marathon plane rides and jet lag better than any of the adults.
In many ways a trip with 10 adult family members and two babies is a lot more manageable than a family vacation with two parents and 3 or 4 children under the age of 8. It really depends on the personality of the children and like I said before the willingness of the family members to split up if need to accommodate the needs of both the babies and adults.
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
Oh dear, oh dear. I'm sorry about that...
I do understand the frustrations of not having a vacation on your vacation. Like, whenever I have vacation time I end up in Israel... which is anything BUT. I am constantly on the clock, going from one family member to the next, trying not to piss anyone off.
![[Angst]](graemlins/angst.gif)
Can you imagine? With infants!!) to operating out of one city as a base. Rome was at first the choice of the family, but my husband eventually got that cut in place of Vienna, since Rome is filled with lots of walking on hills & stairs. Plus he went there last fall. Somehow, though, Europe fell through, so now we're looking at the States as the destination. The India folk first thought up a tour that included:![[Wall Bash]](graemlins/wallbash.gif)
Remember, this is a trip with two children under two, one of whom will be arriving in the US after traveling about 24 hours from India, which is about 13.5 hours ahead of California.![[Cry]](graemlins/cry.gif)
Also, my family is all in the Bay Area, and there is no way I can go to California without spending some significant time with them. Especially since husband's brother's place is only three miles from my dad's house. No idea how I'm going to handle the family politics on this one yet...![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)