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Or, Dear Hatrack, I'm getting married and moving to the Czech Republic.
Well, staying here rather. Stop quibbling.
Yesterday afternoon my beloved invited me to his apartment so he could cook me lunch. We had a traditional Slovak dish, milk, a rose, candlelight and an engagement ring. We called my mother, who cried, and his mother, who cried. We called my grandmother, who just received the letter he wrote her, which made her, her sister my great-aunt, and my cousin cry. He doesn't, however, make me cry. We're too busy laughing, mainly.
Tax lawyer. Dignified and professional looking to people who don't know him as well as I do. Is willing and in fact enjoys discussing minor points of medieval history with me. Completely adores me. As smart as me. Respects his mother.
He reads about as much as I do. Our apartment theme will be bookshelves. He passed the EG test - asked me to recommend a book so I lent him Ender's Game, which he took with a "science fiction how nice this looks fascinating really it does" kind of attitude. Two days later, it was "this is actually kind of entertaining." Four days later, it was "OH MY GOODNESS WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LEFT THE SEQUEL IN YOUR MOTHER'S GARAGE I MUST HAVE IT NOW." After he read EG and the next three, I casually let 'Hatrack' drop in conversation. I was extremely nervous he'd think I was insane. He liked us, though, and even joined eventually. One guess who.
My mother has been saying for the past couple of years that I'm past my expiration date and never going to get married because I'm mean/intimidating/don't wear enough makeup. She also started planning my wedding, which is going to be end of August (US) / beginning of September (Prague), about two months ago when we told her we were quite likely to get engaged this spring. She won't leave me alone about things like bridesmaid dress colors, kitchen colors, bathroom colors, to which I answer a uniform "I don't know, whatever."
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Yay! Long expected but no less wonderful! My best wishes to you both.
As for kitchens, I went with the white cabinets with brightly colored decorative tiles every so often against the background of white tiles, white countertops with natural oak trim, and I love the way it looks. My dining room / living room (which is really one big room across the whole back of the house) is painted wedgewood blue with white trim. I love it too so that's my decorating suggestion.
You didn't even tell them he's tackling Lord of the Rings. He's obviously passing all the tests! Posts: 5509 | Registered: May 1999
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And to think I discussed engagement plans with Tzadik via parachat - I never knew you were the intended, Lissande! Sneaky people... Posts: 4393 | Registered: Aug 2003
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Dear all - thank you so much! I know some of you more, some less, some - only through lissande. We are so glad to be sharing our joy with you.
My parents and family as well gave up all the hope for me ever getting married. So this is a shock, a good shock for them all. Just as it is for me still
BTW - if any of you ever wanders in central Europe - make sure to stop in Prague, ok? And make sure to let us know Posts: 102 | Registered: Oct 2003
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And Tzadik, I already did the wander through Europe, visit Prague, crash on Lissa's couch thing. And had a fantastic time, too. Posts: 3801 | Registered: Jan 2000
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Czest Kama, come to Prague - for the wedding or whenever you feel like it. Would be great to have you here. BTW, where from Poland are you from? Posts: 102 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Yes, I'm from Tychy, which is quite close to Tesin (I've been there a few times), and about 7-8 hours drive from Prague Posts: 5700 | Registered: Feb 2002
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I still can't believe I'm actually wearing this ring. It was a tricky road getting here, keeping everybody happy, but we worked it out and WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I'm getting married to my favorite person!
You will hardly be surprised, knowing me, to learn that immediately after getting engaged I got a horrendous sore throat and, sadly, gave it to Tzadik. Just my body telling me, "Enough of this sappiness! Let's see you give sweet kisses when you CAN'T SWALLOW!! HA!!" In sickness and in health starts now, I guess. Posts: 2762 | Registered: Sep 1999
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I missed it the first time because we didn't have internet at the time, so thank you, Lissande, for bringing it to my attention. And congrats!
And how is married life now? You've had at least one anniversary... Or have you chopped up Tzadik and tossed him in the freezer like Fahim keeps threatening to do with me?
I love stories like this. Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Oh! I forgot to ask! What color kitchen did you end up with? I vote yellow. Bright, bright yellow. Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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He likes the freezer, I really don't think he minds it at all. I'm sure you'd get used to it...
I think I ended up telling people blue (and maybe yellow?) for bathroom and kitchen, but that had very little influence on what people actually gave us, except for the very nice navy blue towels we had to haul across the Atlantic, so my kitchen is sort of...kitchen-colored. White, mostly, even the dishes.
And I was thinking yesterday that next month will be a year and a half since our wedding. The bookshelves are already totally full. Matus and I have both progressed from the "When are you getting married?" parental harassment to the "When are you giving me grandchildren?" harassment, which is at least a change. When we have a definitive answer on the second, maybe I'll post another thread. Posts: 2762 | Registered: Sep 1999
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And married life is wonderful. It seemed like we just fell into being married - I remember thinking, Yes, this is what I've been missing, this is where I'm supposed to be. It was such a relief to feel like I was finally living the life I was meant to live! Marrying Tzadik was definitely the right decision for me.
Posts: 2762 | Registered: Sep 1999
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Lissande, I completely and totally understand. And it's really cool - and wonderful! - when it works out that way. I'm so happy for you!
(Fahim and I haven't been getting the "when are you having kids?" questions from any relatives. I think it helps that his mother doesn't speak English, so my communication with her is... limited. And maybe we are being harrassed, but Fahim doesn't tell me. The only people I get harrassed about that are people who don't know me well.)
Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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I have a friend, also in a cross-cultural marriage, who got married a year before me, and we ask each other that all the time. Or rather, "Are you pregnant?" every time one of us mentions being hot, cold, hungry, tired, etc. That's what everyone else we know does, after all.
And let's hear it for mothers-in-law who don't speak English! I am convinced that's why my in-laws love me so much - especially in the beginning, I just sat there and smiled sweetly. (And when I do talk, it's in that sexy foreign accent of mine...) I can see them asking Tzadik in a few years whatever happened to that sweet, quiet creature who was their daughter-in-law.
Posts: 2762 | Registered: Sep 1999
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Is this where I mention, yet again, that I'm going through perimenopause? Despite being in my thirties?
Finally, someone who understands my situation!
When we go over there, or they come over here, it starts out in English, but quickly switches to Sinhalese, and stays there for pretty much the rest of evening. And then Fahim doesn't understand why I've stopped paying attention to the conversations, so I miss when things actually are said in English. *le sigh*
Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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It is pretty exhausting listening to a conversation in a foreign language, especially when you understand just a little bit. I had an attention-span problem for a long time, when I was at the partial-understanding stage. It was bad when I had to admit that I didn't know what was going on, not because I misunderstood a word or something, but because I wasn't listening. *blush*
You and Fahim should learn Hebrew, or Spanish, or sign language, or some other language neither of you speak, so that you can be on an even plane. We considered that briefly.
(Not that I'd actually do it in marriage, but I do have a friend from Uruguay who prefers to speak Czech with me so that we're both at an equal disadvantage, neither speaking our native language - though I have to insist that Miss I've-lived-in-Prague-for-ten-years still has a big advantage over me...) Posts: 2762 | Registered: Sep 1999
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Um, problem is, it'd take him about two weeks to learn it, and me two decades. He's freakishly good with languages to the point that I'd love to beat him.
No, no, I need to learn Sinhalese. I really do. *sigh* I just need to actually do it. Sometime. Soon.
Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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We called my mother, who cried, and his mother, who cried. We called my grandmother, who just received the letter he wrote her, which made her, her sister my great-aunt, and my cousin cry. He doesn't, however, make me cry. We're too busy laughing, mainly. 
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everybody![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
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The only people I get harrassed about that are people who don't know me well.)
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He's freakishly good with languages to the point that I'd love to beat him.
