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GRANTED! your house burns down, taking your old newspaper with it, and to prevent further pile up, any paper you touch, including money bursts into flame.
I wish I never needed sleep.
Posts: 1827 | Registered: Jul 2003
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Granted! Unfortunately none of them have any legs or arms, so basically they are just very high tech dust which is at your command, and has microscopic blinking lights. It is a vast army, this will lead to a lot of sweeping.
I wish I could move things with my mind.
Posts: 1827 | Registered: Jul 2003
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Granted! You find yourself suddenly included with this year's Antarctica meteor-finding trip. Too bad you didn't have time to pack. See you in two months! (And you'll probably thaw out just in time for next summer.)
I wish I had a higher-paying job, without working more hours than I already do.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Granted, you now make twenty-cents an hour more and the co-worker who stares at you when you aren't looking but doesn't stop when you notice is now your immediate supervisor. You now share a work space.
I wish the two Monkey's Paw threads were one.
Posts: 2160 | Registered: Aug 2008
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Granted! they magically fuse into one thread, but all the other threads become part of it too, so you are completely unable to avoid any subject, no matter how dumb the show is they are discussing or how repetitive the political arguments are, etc.
I wish I were royalty. "Lord Marek" has a nice ring to it
Posts: 1827 | Registered: Jul 2003
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Granted! You have that car. But your neighbour now has a 1982 Trans Am with artificial intelligence and the ability to voice its thoughts; it continuously disses you and your car.
I wish I could find new house with ample room for all my stuff, in a convenient location for commuting, with a low rent.
Posts: 267 | Registered: Apr 2008
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Granted! You have the budget, and you also have cancer. Chemo is expensive.
I wish I had never seen World's Greatest Dad, while the movie was great the end showed me something I never wanted to see.
Posts: 2160 | Registered: Aug 2008
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Granted! All poop smells like fresh roses thereby giving no one obvious incentive to observe proper sanitation and the human race is wiped out through disease.
I wish I could find another audiobook to listen to.
Posts: 211 | Registered: Jul 2006
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Granted! You take a nice long nap, though most people would call it a fifteen year coma, but hey after it you are well rested, by the way, watch out for the alien overlords, they are not big fans of people who have yet to be trained.
I wish I could buy one video game system, that could could play every video game.
Posts: 1827 | Registered: Jul 2003
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Granted! In this DIY shop, you 'could' buy the parts for mere 10 000$! But then, the game system only 'could' play it, so you got to figure it out for yourself.
I wish my wife didn't cheat on me.
Posts: 574 | Registered: Dec 2004
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Granted! instead of destroying your relationship via infidelity, she stays married to you until you die lonely tortured and absolutely unsupported.
I wish that a paternity test would prove Paul Ryan to be the illegitimate son of Mitt Romney.
Posts: 2160 | Registered: Aug 2008
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Granted! it is subsequently proven that President Obama is Romney's son from when he was 13 and knocked up his teacher, and that Romney is Ron Paul's son from when he he was 13 and knocked up his teacher. Also Romney wins, using the this as a new gimmick for his campaign.
I wish I had a real world Iron man suit.
Posts: 1827 | Registered: Jul 2003
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Granted! You are now either Ryan Reynolds or Blake Lively, and you can see how fantastic Green Lantern really was.
I wish they didn't remove the Joe Poturno statue, but instead altered it so it was looking the other way.
Posts: 2160 | Registered: Aug 2008
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Granted! they make the Statue turn to look the other way, continuously, and it turns so fast, that no one can tell who it is, or even that it is a person. So the joke is ruined.
I wish I could get paid for wasting time online.
Posts: 1827 | Registered: Jul 2003
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