quote:I dunno, I guess I just can't jive with the whole I-don't-want-to-raise-it-and-I-don't-want-you-to-either attitude. It seems like if the child is going to be born and one parent doesn't want to raise it, it is completely w/in the rights of the other parents to take control.
I understand where you're coming from, and it certainly is within their rights. But I have had some experience with this. The mother and father were not staying together, and the mother very strongly wanted the child to have the best chance of growing up in a loving two-parent family. She didn't want to raise the child alone but she didn't want it raised by a single father either. It wasn't a matter of not wanting him to have his child, but of wanting the child to have the best possible future.
I know that's contrary to what a lot of people believe. Some believe that giving up a child for adoption is selfish, and that it's better for the child to stay with a single biological parent than to be given up to married adoptive parents. I'm not here to argue that opinion. I just want to point out that it's possible for the mother to honestly feel that this is best for the child, without having selfish or vindictive motives for asking the father to give up his rights.
Posts: 1522 | Registered: Nov 2005
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Well, I talked to her parents today. I stopped to drop some used motor oil for the horse fence (keeps the horse from chewing on the fence). Her dad asked to talked to me as he had no clue what was going on. I really don't know either, but we sat and chatted. Her mom came home a little while later. Both love their daughter, but were very supportive of me as well. We're going to have some tests done before things get too far. Even though we know, we just want to be 100%. The rest is like a soap opera, and not worth going into right now. Needless to say it makes me quite a bit more bitter than before.
Posts: 2208 | Registered: Feb 2004
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Hope things keep progressing Stan. Don't sign away your rights unless you feel that it's best for you and the child. I honestly don't see how that would be any benefit to the child.
Maybe I'm missing something, but if you two do decide to give the child up for adoption, you having visitation rights seems like it would be positive.
Posts: 3950 | Registered: Mar 2006
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Well, things are really bad right now. The train backed up on me this past saturday. Some old guy without a license hit my father on his motorcycle and drove off. There were enough witnesses that the cops were able to nab the little &!%#. My sister was with him. Both are doing fine. My sister had a broken elbow and a broken leg. My dad had a few broken ribs, ruptured spleen, a leg broken in 5 places, and various other injuries.
As far as my life: ex and I have not gotten back together yet, but I have my doubts on whether or not I would take her back anyway. I know I hold some blame in this whole thing, but she isn't accepting any. However, I think more of her each and every day. She called 2 sundays ago to tell me that her pregnancy is going really rough (they all aren't easy), and that she is going to talk to her doctor about an abortion. I don't agree with this, but what am I supposed to do? Tell her she has to do it anyway? I was going to take custody of the child myself, and my family was helping me out with it.
Other than that, things are great. I have no internet at my place yet. I am using a friend's now.
Posts: 2208 | Registered: Feb 2004
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I'm sorry you're going through this. I wish that you and your ex could sit down and have an open, honest talk about the future. From what I'm seeing of her actions, it almost sounds like she's decided she's not ready to parent - first adoption then considering an abortion because the pregnancy isn't easy seems kind of "off", you know?
I hope you and she can work something out that's positive for all three of you.
Sorry about your dad and sister; hope they're on the mend soon.
posted
I knew she was going to talk to her doctor. I called last Monday and she said she had already had it. I have been talking to quite a few people over there recently and I guess I brought out her true colors. She's a psychpath (sp?). I have nothing for her now. I could never take her back after all this anyway now. I put up with more than my fair share at work, I don't need it on the home front. Even her friends haven't called her in over a month. I don't normally want people to be miserable, but I believe I can make an exception in this case.
Dad and sis are doing fine. Surgeries are done. Sis is home and dad is expected home later this week. I'm going to have to have a sit down with dad. He won't be able to work for almost a year, and mom doesn't make a whole lot being a lunch lady and all. I forsee having to be there for more than just moral support.
Posts: 2208 | Registered: Feb 2004
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Life happens. I actually owe a debt to my ex. Since she has left I have found a burst of confidence in myself that I didn't have before. I haven't rode the roller coaster of emotions for two weeks now. I've usually been confident of myself, but now I actually show it more these days. It's a noticeable difference. Anyway, I am at work and should get going now. I get my internet at the house this afternoon.
Posts: 2208 | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Stuff is easier said than done. She wants to try and repair our love. I don't know if I should. She lied to me, can I believe her again? I sent her an e-mail to give her an honest think to herself if she can either.
quote: You say you want to repair your love for me. I ask only one question, and this song asks it. You say I wasn't there for you, but I was there for you up to the point you left me. Then I was in such a roller coaster of emotions, I didn't know what I was doing. You stated that you only trust yourself, which means you never trusted me. I don't know how you can say you love someone if that is true. I had absolute trust in you (which means I never ever questioned). I had absolute faith and belief in you. You shattered that trust. You tore that faith. But somehow I still believe.
So I ask you to listen to this song and tell me if I should try again, or if am I asking too much. With god as my witness, I hope I am not asking too much.
I attached a song to this e-mail. It is Travis Tritt's "Can I Trust You With My Heart."
'Course this reminds me of another song: "Breaking Up is Hard to Do" by the Carpenters
Posts: 2208 | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
I think you should stay away from her. She doesn't seem like a good partner (understatement), and you don't need the complications she brings to your life. Seriously, run.
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I'm so sorry, Stan.
