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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Gay Zombie Infestation

   
Author Topic: Gay Zombie Infestation
Darth_Mauve
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With the Presidents mid-week announcement in support of Gay Marriage, the radio has been filled with people discussing homosexuality.

One of the more obnoxious callers said, "And President Obama is trying to create this all gay army...."

How is allowing gay soldiers to serve creating an "all gay army?"

Then it struck me. Some few fanatics think that homosexuality is a virulent virus. One touch creates infection and next thing you know you are trading in your Eve for some Steve. They were thinking of homosexuals as something like a zombie apocalypse.

Here they are, the last true straight defenders of humanity, fighting wave after unrelenting wave of perfumed and foppish gay zombies. One little bite, and you become one of them.

Well, maybe not a bite, but a nibble?

Suddenly the most outlandish arguments from the fringe started to make sense. NOTE: Not all, most, or even many of the Traditional Marriage believers are part of this fringe. Just many of the loudest.

They (the fringe) argue you can't have gay marriage because it will infect all marriages, and soon we will all be forced to marry our same sex.

In Missouri, they were debating the "Don't Say Gay" bill, which would outlaw all discussion of homosexuality in schools, because once you allow a gay kid into the school, well, obviously the whole school system would be infected. They honestly argued that the mere discussion of homosexuality was somehow transforming kids into homosexuals.

I am proud to say that most of the "Traditional Marriage Only" crowd were against this measure. Only the fringe was pushing it, but they had scared many politicians into being for it by claiming "If you are against it, you are pro-Gay" or in my terms--"Its too late, you are a gay zombie." Only when a Republican State Legislator came out of the closet to protest this vote, did the other legislators realize how silly they were being.

Some argue that "Homophobes are just folks scared of their own homosexual feelings." While this is true for some, I find it too easy of an excuse to be correct for most. Yet those who believe in this gay zombie horde theory, who fear contamination with just one bite, may just be those so close to edge between lust and hate.

However, as these and other thoughts were twirling in my head. What would a Gay Zombie Horde look like? Besides Fabulous.

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kmbboots
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So instead of eating brains, the gay zombies eat...?
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capaxinfiniti
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What radio program had the gay-zombie caller?
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Tinros
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quote:
Originally posted by kmbboots:
So instead of eating brains, the gay zombies eat...?

Family-friendly forum, Boots.
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Darth_Mauve
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Gay Zombies eat Family Friendly Forums? Its worse than I thought.
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Synesthesia
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They act as if sexuality is more mutable than it actually is. As if the mere MENTION of being gay will turn a butchy, truck driving hetereo man into a gay dude with a small dog.

They have no subtlety. There's quite a few men driving big trucks that are already gay. You don't magically turn gay because you are exposed to gayness!

It's so silly, I might as well just look at these cute wolf spiders.

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Stone_Wolf_
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[deep southern drawl]I thought "gay" meant happy, and I was, driving trucks, collecting guns and having the sex with girl types, but then one of them there city slickers told me "gay" means fancies boy types and now I'm hooked on Bravo TV, kitting and have a major oral fixation.[/deep southern drawl]
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AchillesHeel
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I've been singing along with Rocky Horror Picture show since I was five, and have never once thought men are attractive. So when someone from an over protective religious background talks about the "temptations of homosexuality" I just assume they need to hit up a gay bar in another state on a costume night and get over it.
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rollainm
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quote:
Originally posted by kmbboots:
So instead of eating brains, the gay zombies eat...?

Pianists.
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odouls268
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quote:
Originally posted by AchillesHeel:
I've been singing along with Rocky Horror Picture show since I was five, and have never once thought men are attractive. So when someone from an over protective religious background talks about the "temptations of homosexuality" I just assume they need to hit up a gay bar in another state on a costume night and get over it.

Say what you want, you KNOW Rocky was a hottie.
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odouls268
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I am literally convinced of the coming zombie apocalypse. Totally serious.

[Razz]

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AchillesHeel
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quote:
Originally posted by odouls268:
quote:
Originally posted by AchillesHeel:
I've been singing along with Rocky Horror Picture show since I was five, and have never once thought men are attractive. So when someone from an over protective religious background talks about the "temptations of homosexuality" I just assume they need to hit up a gay bar in another state on a costume night and get over it.

Say what you want, you KNOW Rocky was a hottie.
Eh. Being a blondie myself I just wouldn't have minded growing up to look like him, but still be smart enough to talk. Plus his entire character was presented as manufactured toy of a person, hardly something one would look up to. I on the other hand was very impressed with the stalwart nature of Eddie in the face of impending dinner preparations, and as an adult come to resemble his figure unfortunately.
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odouls268
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quote:
Eh. Being a blondie myself I just wouldn't have minded growing up to look like him, but still be smart enough to talk. Plus his entire character was presented as manufactured toy of a person, hardly something one would look up to
I'm just saying he's got a sweet bum. You might be overthinking things.
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odouls268
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Eddie does have the voice of a storytelling angel though.
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aeolusdallas
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quote:
Originally posted by AchillesHeel:
I've been singing along with Rocky Horror Picture show since I was five, and have never once thought men are attractive. So when someone from an over protective religious background talks about the "temptations of homosexuality" I just assume they need to hit up a gay bar in another state on a costume night and get over it.

I have always thought that the whole "Gay Temptations" line of reasoning was solid proof that the person advocating it was a closet case. After all straight guys don't feel tempted by pretty boys or butch daddies.
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odouls268
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quote:
I have always thought that the whole "Gay Temptations" line of reasoning was solid proof that the person advocating it was a closet case. After all straight guys don't feel tempted by pretty boys or butch daddies.
Speak for yourself. I'm straight as an arrow, but I'm so pretty I tempt even me.

*insert "toot your own horn" smilie here*

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odouls268
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And I am STILL petrified of the impending zombie doom.
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