To help out with my obsession of LotR, a friend invited me here. My first post.... was clearly an embarrassment for me..Somehow I survived the mayhem of RPG's, Parachat, Politics, literature and the summer. Now it's my 1000th post..
I call myself the youngun because I'm 13 and the "baby" here, (no offense to Mooselet or any other kids). Maethoriell happens to be Warrior lady in Elven, form what a friend said and I chose it. My actual name though is Sheila. Though I live in Baton Rouge, I was born in Corvallis, Oregon. I'm in 8th grade and quite a proud Filipino. The only hard part of discussing this is that I can't really remember much of my youth.
When I was 3, my parents and I decided to go back to the Philippines to see my mom's mom and my dad's dad. They died shortly after we left. THe hard part about it is that I can't remember anything about them, though I have a few pictures of me having a blast with them. It's very saddenning when I hear my friends talk about their grandparents, the money they give on b-days and such..though it's always nice to hear.
Instead of going back to Corvallis though, we heade for Baton Rouge. Here, there was Louisiana State University, in which was my mom's desired university to fulfill her education. A year later, my mom received a Ph.D in entomology and I was burdened with a pair of fraternal twin siblings..and I mean BURDENED..
To keep me away from the little rascals, was school and the other Filipino's we met. We joined the Fil-Am of Greater Baton Rouge, which consisted of many Filipino families, all throughout LA..really huge...Besides that was school and moving. During pre-k to 1st grade, I had been to at least 4 schools. We moved soo much. Finally we found a house and it's still our home. The only reason I liked it was because of the treehouse in the backyard. The neighborhood has no children though..
Only now do I realize that I was a stupid 8 yr old...tsk tsk tsk..One day, during Mardi Gras break, I was cleaning the tre house and swept all of the leaves on the slide..Foolishly, I found the simple way too .."dumb" and chose to just slide down the slide with the broom in my hand..That day my life was changed..I slid down and when I landed, I was knocked out for a good time. I didn't even know I was bleeding, till I rubbed my face and found dark red blood all over my hands. I can't even remember if I was crying or not, nor the pain. Everything was faint and numb. Soon my parents found out and after 2 hospitals, 3 doctors and 6 nurses I recieved plastic surgery. When I came back to school..I had to quit my sports and everything else because of my face.. I looked pretty hideous too.. Strings attached everywhere and yet I've no distinct memory or picture..Though life moved on and my parents never ceased to be frightened about that treehouse. Now it's just a storage.
Also because of the lack of sports..I went more into academics. My face was no more disfigured and I was the top. I recieved over 40 awards all in 2-5 grade, ranging from music to art to regional awards. I loved the attention and still do. When middle school came... I just wasn't the same.
I passed the gifted test and I was a year above my old peers. Everyone hated the fact that I was given special treatment, though I've always been in "special ed" for my whole life. (Academic wise). when I was actually in gifted..I was practically..a dunce.. I didn't learn about 3/4 of what the others did, but I always had a 3.0 average. I excelled in math, english, music and art..All in one year.
Also, I found out I was capable to have friends. I never had a true friend, just a classmate, all throughout Elementary. No one to tell crushes, no one to tell secrets. Those that I thought were friends betrayed me. I was pretty rejected. Even when I got main roles in musicals, all A's, everything (except PE)...Though I was an outcast..Not such a pleasant thing to deal with.
In 7th grade, I just kept going but all of the pressure from my youth, then and now juts gushed at me. I was depressed at least 2 weeks a month. It stil happens too. My parents realized I wasn't their "top daughter" anymore but just average. You see, I was at lower schools before and I was always smart because they never got advancement or such things. When I finally noticed it because of my parents constant teasing..I just couldn't handle it. I'm not supposed to be in gifted. I was on probation and I wasn't doing to well for the few weeks thhey paid attention. Just from that bit they judged the rest of me and started telling me to get ready for the original school I was supposed to go to. Kenilworth, which is only known for it's athletes. I am looking forward in academics, not sports. Also with my perfectionism..It kinda got things soo screwed up..Life was just at its worst and I couldn't feel safe with my parents anymore.
It always reminded me of everything they didn't agree on with me. They didn't go to my musicals; they didn't always really approve of my achievements. I just..didn't think it right. I tried hard but evidently, if it wasn't an A or a 4.0...they'd never approve. They still don't too. They take away all of my priveleges, boyfriends, social activites just so that I can lazy myself up and they argue about that. It's like hypocracy since they let the twins do as they wish. Only because they know what to expect, from what I did. Life just wasn't/isn't fair now..
On the lighter side though..I've been in soo many extra circ., that people say I'm an overachiever. I just call myself a VERY GOOD procrastinator as well as a very devoted student. My activities consist of: BETA, Youth Leg, PSR, Fil-Am dance teams, All-parish Honor Orchestra, All-Parish Honor Choir, Strings, Band, Talented Art, Piano, Violin, Talented Strings, Talented Piano, Gifted, Math Counts, Solo/Ensemble, Choir Festival, Anthology, Regional Science Fairs, Regional Social Studies Fair, Literature Competitions, Art competitions and so on and so forth... What you think? I'm an overachiever??
I always win the teachers/faculty's confidence in knowing that I'l help them and represent them fairly well. I've been a representative for at least 4-5 things and they always love my work that I hand in. Sometimes they beg to keep it. You could also say I'm a teacher's pet..
Despite all of the accidents, grades, depression and activities; I always find time to have fun, write and just hang around with my fellow Jatrequero's....Hope it was something you didn't quite expect..
I hope it works....It's the reason why this was delayed and I don't know if it entirely works yet..
[This message has been edited by Maethoriell (edited August 26, 2002).]