I have no intention in stealing away the "limelight" from good ole Mama Squirrel but I just had to get this over with so I can continue posting..btw great post Mama Squirrel!
Months of Mae ..tis a story...
“I’m not perfect, OK. Stop thinking that, now!” I ordered. I heaved my books in my Jansport and walked with Oliver on my right, Tanni and Krys on my left, with my Math book in my grasp. They all looked worried, but I was not. There was no reason to be.
“Well, see you later on the bus,” said Tanni, rolling her eyes and making a right turn with Krys. I was stuck with Oliver. I wanted it to be misfortunate to add to my grumpiness, but he could never make me detest him. It was plain obvious. I like him.
“Ready to clear that translucent mind of yours with math?” he questioned sarcastically. I grinned and indulged in formulas and numbers.
I was still agitated though. I couldn’t understand why everyone expected so much from me. I am just a dainty Asian tomboy named Mae, who would never be satisfied with my work. Oliver would simply be my next victim to insult, leave behind, and be depressed about.
The other classes were no better than the previous. Finally P.E. arrived, the last class of the day. After changing and still in my mood, I scoured through the chaos and met up with Oliver, as a daily routine. He could tell I still had the “attitude.” Everything about me was so evident.
“What’s up, ‘Popstar’? Shouldn’t you have an excuse saying ‘I’ll sue you if you make me sweat’?” he joked. I quickly slugged his arm but laughed along with him.
“At least you make it funny. I just don’t understand why everyone else emphasizes things that I feel they shouldn’t.” I explained, sitting next to him. I leaned on him like usual, just to show how useful he could be.
“Mae, you don’t realize that you make your “capabilities” seem so important. C’mon. You can’t deny that you act perfect-“
“Please don’t say that word. It’s not true. I just strive hard,” I protested, folding my arms while roll call continued.
“Fine then, but your ‘striving’ seems like you’re “the wise arbiter of life” here at school. Many people judge you so easily.”
“Yeah, and I hate it. They never take the time to know me-“
“Mae!” yelled the coach.
“Coach?” I replied.
“What’s so important that you’re discussing with Oliver? Your next date?” laughter filled the gym. I quickly
became embarrassed as some immature “blabbers” turned to laugh in my face even more. Oliver is cool and cute. I’m just a banished punk-wannabe. Did I mention not cool and cute?
“You shouldn’t be laughing,” Interrupted Oliver. It wasn’t funny any more.
I admire his loyalty and strength. Qualities I lack. Thankfully, roll call was finished and it was a free day. That soccer ball was going to feel the fierce kick I have been practicing. Oliver and I continued to converse, though, while the ball was in downfield action.
“See?” I asked, only to have him reply, with a grin, “I’m blind.”
“Augh..See they laughed at me because being so “good,” I shouldn’t be humiliated like that.”
“One word, Mae, envy. Don’t worry about them. You’ll always have me, Tanni and Krys to be with.” He passed the ball away and turned back to me.
“Tanni and Krys aren’t my friends. They’re just here and there,” I said, as the ball was intercepted and was heading for the goal. I quickly defended it and passed it to Oliver again. He kicked it downfield to give us some space.
“I just overdo and try my best because I have goals that require that commitment. I’m surprised there are teens like that now.”
“Heh, well, socially you’re good, too. You’ll always have me to be everywhere with you.” Oddly enough, I began humming the song, “Lean On Me.”
That's practically a daily basis for me already. Then my family adds onto it. The reason I write is to prevent anything else from really coming out. The reason I come post alot is because I don't like being quite social with my family. I prefer my privacy, friends or posting.
I know they take care of me and such, my parents, but they don't provide the support I would like. One reason I kind of share some "personal" questions or thoughts here is because they (parents) won't be there for me to trust on. They don't trust me, so why should I bother. They're not here for me or maybe they try but I just don't see it.
(NOT to brag) I've accomplished quite a lot compared to my friends b/c then I feel comforted that I can manage by myself. They don't have to support me in anything, but once in a while would be nice.
When I told them I got into gifted (Glasgow), they kept reminding me "A lesser school would always have me on their waiting list," to "support" me into working harder; that hurt instead. When I told them I got into choir, they didn't compliment me. Actually, they dislike the fact I made the choice to enter choir. When I told them I made it into LJYO..yeah a lil' "Good job" appeared. Yet, when I recently told them I entered Honor Choir, they started laughing. You see, they are the only ones I know that believe I can't sing. Honor Choir is "elite" from what I hear, not as much as all-state- but for districts, it's quite an Honor. They compare me to top singers, so of course I'd sound like crap but to laugh at me for entering something, thinking the judge was "desperate"... ... I don't need that much criticism from both school and my parents already; one reason why I don't let my mouth off a lot. Yet, I won't deny I like talking about the things I can do.
So that could be a reason I come here a lot amd why I laugh at the most stupid things ever in history or things that I don't even think are funny. I'm forced not to be quite social with my friends and I make less friends like that. I don't mean to say I hate my parents; I just wished I could actually say "I enjoy my parents company and I'm glad they're my parents," at the moment.
[This message has been edited by Maethoriell (edited October 01, 2002).]