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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Discussions About Orson Scott Card » Hatrack (LA-stylings): or What This Place Needs

   
Author Topic: Hatrack (LA-stylings): or What This Place Needs
alluvion
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1. A valet

2. A bouncer

3. A tour guide.

Applications will be processed in a manner most convenient (sp?) to the author (moi).

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Shan
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Application for Bouncer

NAME: Tigger

RESIDENCE: Some kid's imagination

Why do I want to be a bouncer?

Because . . . .

The most wonderful things about Tiggers
Is Tiggers are wonderful things
Their tops are made out of rubber
Their bottom's are made out of springs.
They're (deep breath)
bouncy
flouncy
pouncy
trouncy
fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN!
But by far the most wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is IIIIIIIIIIII'mmmmmmmm the only one.

ggggrrrrrrrrr...

Thank you, thank you, thank you . . .

[Hat]

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alluvion
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ggggrrrr.... indeed.

Well, that's one well-placed kitten. (phwoargh! - excuse me)

Two posits to fill,
mind the drill
and never be late to
debate
that which you will...

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Orson Scott Card
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I'm curious about which kind of valet you're accepting applications for. The kind that helps you get dressed? Or the kind that parks your car? Because while I often come to this forum naked, I never, never come in a car.
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Orson Scott Card
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This is, of course, why I will never have a webcam or a visiphone.
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Shan
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[Laugh]
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Papa Moose
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I suspect that's the reaction he fears, Shan.
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Shan
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Can you imagine, Pops - lots of forum jockeys with insomnia in varying states of deshabille chatting back and forth visibly?

I dunno - the whole image of forum folk becoming visible IRT just amused me. Particularly in the wee hours of the night/early morn/post afternoon nappy . . .

Apologies if I offended -

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Papa Moose
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"Like your real friends, only with less clothing."

Didn't offend me, but I'm pretty thick-skinned. I was just making a joke, and you couldn't tell simply because it wasn't that funny. You'd think after experiencing that for so many years I'd've learned either to be funnier or not to make jokes. But no, no....

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Shan
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Now see, if you had included *grin* at the end of that statement, Pops, I'd have known it was okay. And just putting in the word *grin* is not the same thing as using a smiley - oh no, not at all . . .

*grin*

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Papa Moose
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But I don't grin when I say it. I'm totally deadpan -- ask anyone.
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alluvion
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"3. A tour guide."

*smacks head*

I dunno WHAT I was thinking. Tour guide? "scoff!" In this maze?

Let's make a little revision:

1. A valet - 1 hesitant feeler

(change job duties description to include scripted customer dialogue exchange:

Come in a car, or
Arrive as you are
Please take leave of your keys
Pull up just this far

)

2. Bouncer - position filled with grace, charm and chutzpaws!

3. Marketing director

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Mr_Megalomaniac
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I could use a tour guide. I've been lost for days on end here with only my wits end to protect me, and that failed within the first three minutes.

I don't like the idea of a bouncer. Bouncers are big, scary, and mean. I will never be one of those guys to walk at the entrance of a club, nod my head to the bouncer, he nods back, and lets me in. Though... aren't the mods like bouncers? Great, now I fear them.

And valet's steal cars. Unless... can I have that job? Anyone parks a Delorean they won't be seeing it again. I hope they won't be doing background checks after the interviews and end up finding this post.

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Shan
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You're afraid of l'il ole' lovable Tigger?

How sad.

Grrrrrrr.

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alluvion
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Mr. M,

Are you applying for a position here?

- A.

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Occasional
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I was thinking the finish to the heading would have been " . . . more traffic."
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alluvion
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And, don't forget the "smug".

[Smile]

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alluvion
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Still looking for a valet. But, only one who knows the gears.

*vroom broom?*

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ketchupqueen
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*posts in her underwear*
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