posted
I'm not joking. This has been the worse year I've had. Even worse than 2001 in which I lost my grandmother and the twin towers all in the same week. Worse than 2000 when I was stuck in unrequited love. It's not getting any better. Still no job. 2 months behind on rent. Got relatives saying, "move to Georgia," but with what money? If I had that kind of money I'd pay my rent! I barely have any food, I can't help any of my friends... It's driving me nuts... All I want is to get through the next 4 months with everyone in tack and not just me....
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
Synesthesia, Can you move in with someone for a protracted period of time? Just to get you able to move on? Liz
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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No... not really.. the only thing I can do is get myself a job by sometime this month, which hopefully I will do and slog it out.
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Out of interest, why do your relatives want you to move to Georgia -- and why can't you move in with friends or family?
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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Some have suggested I should move in with my mother, but the suggestion is ridiculous because I have no money to move. I can't move in with relatives because there is no money. And there's no way I'm going through the summer of 2001 when I lived briefly with my father. No way in Hell. I'm slogging it out here even if I have to ask for no money at all from them. I'll figure something out. I'm not a whiner and I'm not helpless... Just frustrated.
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Why? I don't really like the south... it's too hot. I lived in Alabama for a while and hated that so much.
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Ahh, personal preference. My mom lives there. (See this. )
We went there last year to help her out when she had breast cancer, and it was the most trying time my husband and I have ever gone through, period. And not just together.
Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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I agree. You have a car, neh? Put everything you have in your car and drive it to your mother's house. Then call your landlord and inform them that you're no longer living there. Bam.
I'm sorry, but I have to be blunt, Syn. I really feel like you're living in a dream world where everything in life should be handed to you on a silver platter. You say you want to write... but do you honestly believe you can do only that at this point in your life and still make a living? I mean, how many people actually earn their livelihoods by writing? And of that small number of people, how many of them started profiting off their writing right out of college, without any other jobs, without even really trying? NONE! And yet, what are you doing, day to day? How are you working towards this goal of yours?
How old was Uncle Orson before he was actually able to support himself with his writing? How many different jobs had he worked before that? And this is the guy who wrote Ender's Game when he was in, what, high school?
You talk about not wanting to compromise or give up your dream of writing, but I think that's baloney. Working part-time or even full-time never stopped anyone from being able to hold a pen and a pad of paper. To write down their ideas. In most cases, getting out and actually experiencing the world is even beneficial to writing.
Getting a job isn't compromising, Syn. It's life. You have to support yourself. Unless you were lucky enough to be born with a silver spoon in your mouth, there's no way out of this.
As far as not being able to find a job, I also think that's baloney. I think you're too picky. I think you talk yourself out of the few jobs that you are actually interested in before you even apply. At this point, after living off of taxpayer money for so long and finally losing even that, you need to march yourself down to every grocery store and mall in town and start filling out applications. They are not beneath you when you can't pay your rent or buy food.
I spent some time many months ago compiling a list of local libraries where you could apply. Whatever came of that? What about all the many colleges and universities in your area? You're not exactly in backwoods Iowa, Syn. There are jobs to be had in Boston. Saying there aren't is, again, baloney.
You want to be a writer? Fine. But be an adult first. Don't just mope around the house all day bemoaning the cruel, cruel world that won't hand you your dream job right out of school. Go out there and earn it.
And again, I'm sorry to be so blunt.
Posts: 2220 | Registered: Jun 1999
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Synesthesia, at most someone can help you out of a bind temporarily, but that obviously won't fix things. I know this seems disheartening, but it's important to pick and choose among the options available to you at this point.
I was happy to do what I could to help you out a few months ago, and I understand that things haven't worked out as you'd planned. But I have a feeling it's now more important to figure out some answers to those tough questions than to get another infusion of cash. It sounds like that at this point, even a new job wouldn't pull you out of debt -- just barely cover ongoing needs, and the creditors would still be at your door.
Where can you live for free (or barter) while you save up money? This may mean living with family, or possibly getting creative about assisting someone elderly or disabled.
It may mean living in a place that is uncomfortable (but not unsafe). You've mentioned that you don't want to leave where you are now because you love it so much. Honey, I lived in a one-room efficiency -- in a basement -- where I could walk to work because my car frequently broke down. This was up till March of this year, BTW. Mind you, I didn't want to live in a single room, especially when my husband and two cats came to join me. (In a 35x15 foot room, you're never far enough from the litterbox. ) But I did it anyway, because after two years of that, we are ahead on things again. It's a good feeling.
At various times in my life, I've worked for rent as a live-in housekeeper, traded a room for working as an assistant to an elderly woman, shared a house with 4 strangers, gone back to live with my mother, lived in my car, and rented a rundown crackhouse apartment because it was cheap. Neither of the last two were good ideas, but the first four were livable compromises. And because it wasn't about where I lived, but where I was going, it made the short-term sacrifices worthwhile.
You'll get there. Just like Ayelar said, it may not happen as smoothly as you'd planned, but keep your eyes on the prize and you will get there. Promise.
I worry, though, that I took on too much responsibility from you a few months back, and that now I'm unable to make the same choices again, having possibly made your situation worse. I also worry that your ongoing distress may blind you to the careful thinking that's necessarily ahead. Read Ayelar's post again. She's apparently given you good advice (and specific information to help) before, and she's both smart and practical.
We can't solve this, sweetie. We can't even fix things, not unless the basic plan of your life changes. I say this not to be condescending, but because I was once in pretty much the same boat as you are in now, and I made some bad choices. Hopefully you won't.
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This is what I've been trying to do, I've been applying for a variety of places but this position is the worse. Not enough experience for office work, can't even get a job bussing tables. This is not the first time this has happened. Back in 2001 I thought, I will get a job, have money be able to pay my rent and then I can concentrate on writing. I was wrong then, I was wrong now. I thought that being in the Americorps would make a difference. It did not, I could not even get that job back. I do not expect life to be handed to me on a silver platter. It really has been my plan to just find a job, pay the rent and with a clear mind be able to write and be completely, absolutely independent. I don't even think I should talk about this because when I do people will think the wrong thing, and who wants that? There has to be some stupid thing I have been doing because nothing that I try is really working and I'd really like to NEVER get in this position again. I'm going to keep trying until something pans out, even if I have to volunteer to be a guinea pig again or something because I REFUSE to put up with another year of having relatives and people around me think I won't make something of myself. (Damn landlady and secretary acting like I don't even know how to fill out an application.) Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Syn, I can't remember -- did you take college classes? Would the university (if you did) have a career counselling center/job placement office? (They will often help former students too.)
When the family members pressure you to move back home, can you hit them up for gas money and $50 for a month's storage? Will your mom lend going-home money?
posted
I don't really have a car... which is probably one factor... there seems to be a lot of them... As for home, techically, I don't have one, only this place. I've tried a few temp places, no luck yet... I just can't understand what I'm doing wrong... There has to be some thing, one or more stupid things that I am doing that is costing me jobs... I'll have to try the Alumni network again...
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Well, that doesn't mean she shouldn't try. Maybe she'll be one of the ones they keep if they lay anyone off come October.
Posts: 13123 | Registered: Feb 2002
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Synesthesia, I had horrible luck at going through the traditional job searches. My first official job ever came from stopping in at a Showbiz Pizza Place to ask for directions to the live-in housekeeping job.
Most of the staff had just quit. Fortunately, it still was a good place to work, and I was able to perfect my "con the small child into giggling" skills. However, I fell into the position.
A mentor kept an eye out for jobs for me after I asked him for a recommendation to get a gun permit. (I was desperate enough to apply as a security guard, which seems ludicrous in retrospect. Still, you probably understand. Times are tough.) That netted a job as a waitress at a country club.
Today's market is tougher than the one I faced, I'm sure. Believe me -- I know you are trying. But it might make sense to assume you won't have a job at the end of the month, and make a back-up plan.
Have you thought about public assistance? It might be a hard choice for you, but that's what it's there for.
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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I remember having to ask someone I wanted to have a high opinion of me whether he'd serve as a recommendation for a gun permit.
Heck, I remember being so desperate that I considered getting one. [Edit: for anyone that missed the above, I was trying to apply for a post as a security guard.]
posted
I actually was considering security work. My plan is to find some job, ANY JOB... Work that, pay back rent and my phone bill, then try for a better job and also write an essay about how much job hunting sucks and try to figure out what to do with that and my music essay which I love so much.
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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